JohnDoe

Could you please provide us with more info. Thanks, John Doe

Hey, that is brutal. As for what to do, definitely do not break off the friendship. There is no point in loosing a good friend over this. If you remain strong and let her know how you feel about her, she will maybe agree with you and look for ways that she can break it off with ber new boyfriend, or if he should ever hurt her (not physically bu emotionally) she will come to you and you can comfort her, and there she will realize that you are the one that she truly wants. Best of luck, I hope that everything works out for you and you prevail. John Doe

I have created for your viewing pleasure and information a post that is a compilation of eye contact tips, hints and tricks from various resources. Although enotalone.com has various articles on eye contact, I thought that I would make a post to highlight key points and make it easier to find, being that it is a regular post. I apologize that this post, though, is mainly intended for males, not females. Athough this is a lengthly post, bear with me and you will be all the better for it. It can be said that our eyes are the windows to or mirrors of our soul. This makes them a vastly important part of developing relationships. In a lot of cases, eye contact is the only contributor to the start of a relationship. This can be the case in a bar or other crowded situation, in the hall at school or any other building or out on the street. The key to making eye contact work for you is to follow the following steps and to not be discouraged if it doesn't work immediately. As with all things, it takes practice. Eye contact can be used not only as a utility or vehicle to have a girl notice you or become interested in you, but when used correctly it also expresses concern and a multitude of other feelings and emotions. Through eye contact and the study of someone's eyes, you can not only tell how they are feeling, but as well if they are telling the truth. Before I continue, I wish to inform you that by eye contact, I do not mean an occasional glance at a person's eyes, but more so a continual looking into thier eyes. I must caution you though, eye contact conveys a powerful message and should only be used on the opposite sex. I for one, do not limit my use of eye contact only to a girl that I love or am interested in. I use eye contact whenever I am talking to a girl. Regardless of wheather I like them or not, I use eye contact to practice it and to make them wonder if I am interested. Using powerful eye contact techniques can let a guy get any girl that he wants. It is my belief that women are more inclined to go out with someone that has a better developed sense of charachter and humor, rather than looks. As a result of this, when our eyes meet, and we stand strong and don't look away, we express to them not only that we are interested, but as well, they begin to ask themselves "who is this gentleman that has courage enough to dare continue looking into my eyes after I have seen him"? As guys, we know that most times, it takes more courage for us to talk to a girl than to make eye contact, so this makes the process easier for us. Alas, here are the procedures for making proper eye contact. A word to the wise, DO NOT STARE, if you do not receive a positive sign (which I will discuss later) within 5 seconds, do not continue with the eye contact. It will have gone from harmless eye contact to staring, and that is not good. When to start, well, provided that the hallway you are in is longer than about 40 feet, don't make eye contact until approximately 30 feet away from the girl. Eye contact works best when both parties are standing or walking. Look directly at her eyes and wait for her eyes to meet yours. Once her eyes have met yours, resist the temptation to look away. Continue to look directly into her eyes. Do not look at any other part of her but her eyes. As you pass, do not initiate a "hi" or a "hey", let her say it first. If after about 5 seconds of looking into her eyes you do not elict a smile from her, a "hey"/"hi", or a nod of the head, a direct meeting of eyes, any indication at all (that is directed toward you) break the eye contact and continue on your way. In most cases this will work beautifully, almost 95% of the time. In some situations, if you feel that you are getting nowhere fast (mind you it is a lot to think about in 5 seconds) a smile initiated by you will do the trick. If she is looking into your eyes as deeply as you are into hers, and you smile, she will smile right back at you and you can continue to look into her eyes. This, though, works best if you know the person or have had contact with them before. When do you stop looking into her eyes, you ask? not until she stops looking into yours. The longer you maintiain eye contact with her, the better off you are. In the classroom! You must be in a position that is advantageous to your intent. It should not be uncomfortable for either party to continue looking at each other. You must be seated in such a way that you both are able to see each other. Look at her until she looks at your eyes. When she does, resist the urge to look away and continue looking into her eyes. Look only for 5 seconds if there are no positive signs. Here is the best place to use the smile technique I described above, considering you probably have already met her. When she looks away (hopefully with a smile on her face), you are permitted to look away. Provided that you receive positive signs, continue this throughout class and throughout the week. After about a week, if something hasn't happened already, you are as good as gold. Key points are that you should not look away until she does, don't stare if you do not receive positive signs, don't be discouraged if it doesn't work right away - it requires practice and to remain comfortable when doing it. It is OK to appear obvious, it will probably make her smile all the more. Just to clarify something, a direct meeting of eyes is considered acceptable permission to continue looking into her eyes. And sometime after you are given a positive sign (if you didn't smile first), smile at her to show that you are interested. Before I came accross resources like these, I had given up many opportunities to go out with girls just based on the fact that I would look away when our eyes met. Eye contact rarely practiced anymore, but is still instilled within all females to respond to it. If you use eye contact techniques, you will become popular amongst the girls quite quickly (because no one else uses these techniques as well, you seem more personal). Best of luck and reap the rewards of long meaningful relationships as a result of your innate and natural skill. PM me if you have any questions particular to your situation or my post in general, John Doe

Oh, well, I think that I am going to need a bit more info than that, and by the way, don't ever type in all CAPS again. They are used to start a name, sentence or to point something out. Got it? otherwise some people will choose not to respond because ti bugs them, like it bugs me!

Hey, I think I replied to you in one of your previous posts. It is no fault other than your own. If you get his reply in time, call her up, tell her how you feel and say that you sorry that you didn't get her anything. That is about all I can say. You have to take the initiative to make the first move, it is imperative!

Hey tiff, maybe it would be nice if all of us guys didn't have to do all of the hard work in initiating a relationship, did you ever think of it that way? Maybe once in a while it would be nice if a girl asked out a guy. Well you said a penny for my thoughts and I gave you my two cents, where the hell did the other penny go?

Well, no offense, but sometimes you just have to shut the old pie hole and let things ride. I don't quite see the conflict related to you breaking the silence, that seems to be a bit of a conundrum to me. If you are the smart ass type though, try using the line "Fat penguin, thaty'll break the ice" sometime. At least you will illicit a laugh out of a few people, though I must caution you about the frequency with which you utilize it, like one time only! With reagrds to the verbal diarhea you experiencing, just learn to shup up once in a while. That is all. Just shut up. I am confident that it will solve at least a few of your problem. Oh, and another thing, ask the girls, especially ones that you know, trust and maybe even like - for if you like them, they might come to realize it - that si a good thing by the way, what it is that you should be doing. They will be flattered that you asked for their advice and you will have their attention for a while. Best of luck!

Well, I would hate like hell to be in your situation, but the best and most practical advice I could possibly give you, regardless of how much you love her, is to not let her come between you and your friend. I would not approach her, especially since you know full well the he knows she likes him, adn ask her out behind his back. An honest mistake is one thing, but blatantly doing it is another. Sit down and have a man to man talk with your friend, he is holding about as many cards as you for - if she turns you down, she stil likes him, but is she finds out that she likes you as well, he is sort of screwed. Between the two of you, you must decide what to do. Maybe he likes someone more than he likes her - in that case, he should let you make a move, but if she is important to him as well, you are out of luck until they break up, there is no sense destroying your friendship over her. There is one exception in which you must be fully adament about your case with him. If you feel about her like I feel about a particular someone, that is, that she is the only one for you, your soulmate and your life is worth living jsut because she is alive, then you must tell your friend this. Now, I must warn you that he may or may not be sympathetic to your situation. Maybe he feels the same way. Just be honest with him and let things happen as they happen. Best of luck to you always!

Sounds like a good plan. Stick to your guns and don't let her sweetness or her sorrow con you into believing different. She should either break it off or invite you. Best of luck.

well, just ask her if you were invited, maybe your invitation goes without saying, could this be a possibility. maybe she just assmues that you are going and thus no invitation. If it turns out that it is not the case, then there is a problem within the realtionship and you two need to work it out.

Well, well, well. You like her, you lover her, but she as of yet does not know this. Alas, the opportunity of a lifetime is presented to you but once a year, that being Valentines Day. Yes, the day of love and new realtionships. I hope that you are reading this not as a last ditch effort, but as part of your overall plan, meaning that your intentions for tomorrow are premeditated. I hope that this gives you a few suggestions and boosts your confidence. Best of luck to everyone. So, you have been pondering asking her out. You fall to pieces each time to see her and feel that your life is worth living just because she is alive and you have the opportunity to see her. tomorrow is the day to make it happen. To make the move and stop wondering "what if". Don't let insecurity and subsequently regret rule your life. Make it happen, you ARE the master of your own domain and you ARE capable of prevailing. The absolute best and flattering approach would be to have roses delivered to her during class sometime throughout the day. This will surprise her and certainly get her attention for you. Include a note for her that tells her who you are and why you did it. Believe me, even if she had never really thought of a relationship with you, it will make her consider one! Provided that you have not had the forthought or the finds to follow the first suggestion, it is not the be all and end all of everything. You can simply do the following. Go into the situation with confidence, have the confidence coming out of your ears. Do not be supercilious (blatantly proud), just be confident and above all things, honest. Start talking to her by complimenting her on her clothes, hair, eyes, whatever. After this, you will have her attention - ask her what you intended to ask her. Simple as that. I realize that you feel that it is easier said than done, but it must be done, not just talked about. It is a horrible feeling to be alone on Valentines Day. Though, this feeling is much worse when you don't ask out someone you love/like, and someone else, realizing their beauty, asks her out before you. Even is she is not asked out, the regret that comes with not asking her out will make your heart ache more that you can possible realize. Make this day happen for you. Give it your best shot and be a true gentleman. Just one more thing, ask her out in private, as opposed to in front of a group of people. Most importantly, don't bring anyone with you. This situation is more private and thus easier for you to ask her out without being embarased if you are turned down. *To be turned down is nothing when compared to regret* Best of luck always, John Doe

Well, well, well. This situation is a bit of a bastard is it not? I have found myself in a similar situation with a girl that I like. I was in a class with her during both semesters of school last year, but was unforntunate this year because I was not in any classes with her. During first semester, due to the scheduling of our classes, I was presented with many an opportunity to talk to her. I was on my lunch, and she was on her way to class. I really do love her, but I could not think of a way to start a conversation, based on the fact that she was on her way to class. Whenever I saw her though, I was usually with someone and if I were to say hi, they would obviously pick up on what was going on (no one knows that I like her). As the days progressed, the situation became more and more awkward - I mean, if I wasn't saying hi to her at the beginning of the semester, why would I all of a sudden start, little suspicious eh? By not saying hi in the beggining, I screwed my self and this semester, I don't get any chances to see her. well, that is my sob story. As for you, just go up to her some time when she is alone and ask her out - she obviously knows that you are there. Best of luck

Well, at least you have the courage to make a move on someone you think likes you, much unlike my shy friend breakdancer, who can't seem to find it in himself to ask out a girl he truly feels likes him. Anyway, regardless of all of that, I think that you should go at it agian, but make it more personal. Aske her out for dinner or something to "get to know her better", this will go over quite well, I am sure. Another thing I thought I should mention is the fact that I think that she might be playing "hard to get" and wants to make sure that your intentions are genuine as a ersult of past experiences or difficulties. One way to be more so certain as to if she likes you or not is to look deeply into her eyes whenever she is talking to you. Girls tend to appreciate this and become more accepting/willing to go out with you. It makes them feel like they are the only ones in your world and helps to develop a sort of trust. Good luck with her and any future endeavours. Just make sure that your intentions are genuine, true and respectful.

Mr. Procrastinator, I told you to go for it, what are you waiting for? The second coming of Christ? I advise against having "one of your boys" come along for the ride. Regardless of how close they are to you, it is still better to do this alone. The whole going with a friend thing will make you look not only like a coward to the girl you are asking, but your friend as well. Oh, by the way, I am planning on asking her out on Valentines Day, she is in grade 11 right? I say that you had better get your arse in gear and do something. Don't make me have to find you and knock sense into you (I'm just kidding, but I shouldn't be). I mean, this thing has been going on for months, what is your problem. Oh, and some reassurance with not taking a friend along with you. She likes you, is probably in love with you, by taking a friend you will look like an ass because you are basically guaranteed with her. Let me know, best of luck!

Don't you get it? She obviously likes you. You have posted messages about your situation numerous times and I have read most all of them. Take the hint and ask her on a date. if she really likes you, what does it matter to you if her friends like you? Truth is, it doesn't. All the replies to all of your messages I have read are encouraging you to go through with this. What is your hangup? If I was getting signs like that from a girl, well lets just say that, you wouldn't have posted all of these messages because I would have done someting already. That is based on your previous posts. If you don't ask her out, she will give up and go after someone else. it is your choice. If not, then pass my name on, i'd like to meet her. She sounds determined, and I like that in a girl. Dammit! your next post better be that you have done something about this!

Someone needs to learn to be able to say no! You had already made arrangements with your girlfriend, you should have re-scheduled with your other friend. Unless a member of your family died, there is no reason to cancel one engagement for another. As for fixing things, I concur with the other posts. Be sincere and apologize - in person - for what you did and how you embarrased her. And by all means, never do it again.

I just wanted the opinions of a few people. I was wondering what everyone that reads this message thinks about how a girl finds out that you like her. Situation 1: You tell someone that you like the person and word gets out. As i'm sure you all know, "word" anywhere, spreads like a virus. In this situation, you use one of her friends to find out something about the girl you like, so that you can have a bit of indepth knowledge about her, that you would have not known otherwise, when you approach her. Then, word gets around, and by the time you ask her out, she already knows you like her and has had a chance to be either persuaded or disuaded/corrupted by friends, as opposed to expressing her own feelings. Situation 2: You do not ask anyone about her. You let the situation fall completely into your hands. When you are ready and confident, you go and ask her out. This way, she has not been corrupted by people that may not even know what they are talking about. What do you think? Another thing, all of this is has been on my mind for some while now. I am about ready to make my move, and want to know what you think. Also, I have two hotmail accounts, one with my name and one without. I tried to get her e-mail address from a friend of hers, anonymously of course. Well, I used the wrong e-mail account by accident and I sent her the one with my name on it. Damn. I haven't received a reply yet, so I figure she doessn't check her messages. Problem is, she has sort of loose lips, and I can't risk what I did, considering I want to use situation 2. Please help, it is greatly appreciated. I love only one, her name is Mandie

I agree. you have no place breaking up the relationship exists. You would hane been better off to work out the issues years ago than to deal with the situation now. But it is not your place to break it up

Sounds like you really care for this girl. Let her know your feelings towards her, don't take your time because in the meantime, someone could take her. Good Luck

Sounds like an interesting situation. If you driver home everyday, when you get to her house, straight up ask her whay she did what she did. A kiss like that doesn't just happen - it means something. If you know this girl to a great extent like it seems that you do, and you know that she is not an "easy" girl, then she is probably playing hard to get - being a tease. I personally don't agree with this when they do it, but there is not much you can do about it. When you ask a direct question, you should get a direct answer form her. if not, then she is not worth more to you than being a friend. Best of luck - Just let her know how you feel

Steveniverson3, Congratulations, you have the first step accomplished, you found someone that you like. At times, this can be one of the hardest steps to overcome. As Holden would say, there are too many phonies. Soo, you've talked to her a few times. This is good. At least she is aware of your existence. What to do next, you ask? Next you should start to make your seeing her a more common occurrence. Find out where her locker is and pass by when you figure that she should be there. If she sees you, smile. When you do so, look into her eyes. If she responds with the same eye contact and a smile, you have done good. If not, you never know. She might be having a bad day. Be persistent, but not a stalker. After this, she would begin to figure that you like her. Talk to her as often as you can, but don't look like you are trying to talk to her at every moment. When you talk, look into her eyes. When she talks, look into her eyes and move your eyebrows - it makes you look even more interested in what she has to say. Figure out what you would like to do with her on a date. A movie, a hockey game, etc. When the time seem right, approach her in private, and most importantly - IN PERSON and ask her to go to the _________ with you. If she says no, let the issue go. Don't ask why or ask what you did, just accept it. If you do this, you have a good chance that she will come to you with problems at some point in time, with the possibility of developing a relationship. If she says no, still try to be a person that she could come to with her problems. If she looks upset, ask her what is wrong and try to comfort her. Good luck!!!

Hey I see that you, in your mind have a valid point. I am not trying to dissuade you from not going out with girls and only dreaming about them. That is your own personal choice. Although, to ever have a family, you are going to have to start somewhere. I agree with bhat963, it does make you happier and a better person towards others. These life experiences are necessary. I hope that you reach a decision that best suits you. Best of Luck

Hey, I that she does, in all likelyhood like you or have an interest in you. The eye contact is a very powerful tool in getting someone's attention, and she obviously has yours! Make a move, start with small conversation (not to be confused with small talk) and progress to a full blown conversation. Look deeply into her eyes when she is talking and do the same when you are talking to her. I agree with bhat963 that you should listen well, if not, at least look like you are interested. The best of luck to you!

no doubt, ask her out. She is into you for sure.

Why don't you take her to a sporting event? A hockey game, a basketball game, anyhting. I realize that these venues may be a bit pricey, but they are well worth it. Well worth it. You have gotten yourself over the biggest hurdle and should not be so concerned. Hey, maybe if you can get your parents out of the house, you could invite her over to watch a few movies (maybe some sappy ones - they go over well) As far as making the first move, let the movies do the work. When bringing her home, just see what happens, if yuou kiss, you kiss, if not, thenmaybe next time. Just don't expect anyhting. Good Luck, and just a note, maybe next time, you should take a closer look at what there is to do before you ask her out.