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something to do with development in other countries they get discounts from Mercedes and can have cars shipped to them for free.. but then again they get protesters outside their building calling them all sorts of things...

well whatever it is that you want to do in life.. just ask yourself.. can you wake up at 7am every morning and spend the whole day doing it? for the rest of your life! if not.. you better find something you actually like and this advice is not coming from my stupid 22 year old self, it's coming from my 50 year old uncle who works at the world bank and regrets it

blah... this weekend back home was horrible I spent the whoooole time with my mom, I figured my friends can wait... I did this in hopes that she wouldn't feel so lonely but she just ended up taking her frustrations out on me. I took it all without a fight, whatever helps her. I heard her telling my dad we were going to the store... My sister wasn't even home long enough to sit down and talk with us.. I am going to have a serious talk with her... she didn't even wish me a happy birthday. sorry for the late response, it's hard for me to hang around this thread so i usually wander into the off topic area i really appreciate everyones kind words, BlueOcean, I'm sorry for the loss of your mother... I promise you one day the sun will shine in our lives again. Hope, I never thought of counseling but if things get life threatening then I will approach my mom about it. *hugs* everyone. you're all amazing to support a total stranger. i can feel a smile forming in the back of my face. and when the day comes when i can smile again i will know it is because of you all.

you should share more details, I'll read no matter how long it is.. 22 myself as of today so I don't know how much advice I can give you but I can pass a long advice given to me by others. I promise you one day you'll wake up and see the blue skies and feel the crisp morning air. Keep your mind clear or you'll never find your way out.

i feel you, that's heartache and it's no fun =/ lately what's helped me is watching movies until i fall asleep don't watch romance movies though! I watched the break up, what a mistake on my part

well she called... and i didn't pick up. and now I'm second guessing if i did the right thing.. i could hear a tremble in her voice and she kept saying happy birthday because she didn't know what to say her voice mail was basically "happy birthday hope you're having a good day, doing well, i haven't heard from you, but that's understandable i hope you're ok, i just want to talk to you whenever you want to call me i guess that's all i can say and hope you're doing very very well happy birthday again" argh and on facebook she posted "happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday to you!" as if nothing had happened I'm so tempted to delete it makes me mad. "hope you're doing very very well" ??? whatever! i spent my birthday weekend sick to my stomach, couldn't eat a damn thing at all the fancy restaurants i was taken to. while checking my voice mail i listened to one of them where she cried and said sorry and she wanted a fresh start and was sorry for arguing about small things that don't matter, this was about 7 days befores he broke up with me... so this was probably the warning sign i failed to see. i thought vday made up for it.. guess not. listening to it made me feel so weak.... so i took down the postcards she sent me threw the bear she built me in the closet i went out and bought new jeans because my favorite pair were the ones we bought together. and check out my new avatar! it's just me still in pain... still thinking about her a lot at the same time i'm trying to move on.. it's like two steps forward one step back should i just text her real quick "thanks for the bday wishes" i keep thinking about what a nice person she is

Blender I love your response, too bad I already cried and begged like a little bi*** haha. Scary how I got all 5 of these reasons and nothing else!!!! 1. it's not you, it's me 2. i don't want to be with anyone right now 3. i love you but i am not in love with you 4. i just want to be friends 5. i need some time/space I was hurt, shocked, stunned and amazed.. I deserve better than a person who can't even break up honestly with me after loving and caring for them so much. Dumpee Power! keep saying that to yourself, it will be a new movement. Everyone stay strong. We deserve better.

there is a book called "Lament for a Son" by Nicholas Wolfersomething it's the very personal writings about a father who lost a son he talks about things that a person who's just lost someone does and does not want to hear. it's like less than 8 bucks as far as i can remember. my ex's grandfather is going to pass away soon, as hard as that is for me to say.. i'm not sure how much you love this guy. i went out with my ex for 7 months. she broke up with me and i'm giving her time away from me right now.. but god forbid, when her grandfather dies my god i will buy her a ticket home, pick her up from the airport and drive her 5 hours to the grand father's place. i don't know how his family is.. but when you go above and beyond for someone they will respect you so much because you're a caring human being. when my dad past away i had neighbors of friends send flowers and visit, i thought these people were amazing and it made me feel better

It's okay to cry, I'll cry with you man. When my dad died last September I had to hold back tears to stay strong for my mom and sister. It ate me up inside, so many pent up emotions. I am now just letting it out slowly. Somedays i'll be at my desk doing homework and then i'll just put my head down and cry. I just lost my girlfriend because of the same thing you're going through! Pain, the anger, the confusion.. all these emotions. I let them get to me and now the wonderful girl that helped me through this tough time is gone even though i love her till the end. don't let it get to you. it's god damn hard to smile in the rain but let me be the example and don't let it ruin your life if you ever need to talk just pm me.

I lost my dad last september... he died unexpectedly doing the job that he loved, saving our earth. The pain is still fresh as the moment I kissed his forehead before we cremated the body. The only thing that got me through all the nights was my wonderful girlfriend who just broke up with me because in the last two weeks I let emotions over the loss of my dad get to me and I became easily aggravated, bickering with her over small things. I still showed her I loved her by being the best boyfriend i could but I think those two weeks added more stress onto her already hectic life. Now, without her... this pain is too much! I feel so alone and the pain never seems to leave. So i talked to my best friend about it. It's extremely personal and he's really at a loss for words at some of the stuff i tell him. naturally it's nothing like the ability my gf had to make me smile when i was feeling down. I live a couple hours away from home and it kills me because my mom has been mentally breaking down lately. I came home early from school to take care of my mom for the weekend because she isn't doing so well mentally =/ It's 5am right now and I've been up thinking about my ex and reading through the breakup forums.. I just heard my mom cry out for my dad and I just want to break down. She cries "why did you leave us." Sometimes she will just fall to the ground literally breaking down, kicking, screaming, crying.. she's the most wonderful mother and does not deserve this pain. When I arrived home from school today she told me she has been having dreams about my dad and asked me if I dreamed about him too. I have... and we both broke into tears. I usually stay strong in front of my mom but not today. Sometimes we talk about the fact that before he left on his trip he was acting like he knew something was going to happen. In my dream my dad knew he was going to die soon and was telling me his life's stories.. i woke up in tears. I have an older sister who lives at home but my mom tells me my sis doesn't take care of her and that she leaves for days on end with her bf... When will the healing begin, everyday I find myself asking why. why him, why someone so wonderful and dedicated to helping others. i feel like life can't get any worse. Thanks for letting me share my feelings with you... sunday will be my first birthday without my dad. i'm not celebrating it. =(

I also have to suffer from bad cafeteria food what I usually do is eat whatever at the cafeteria so the illusion of a meal is there, and later after I digest I'll drink a protein shake. plus i take a multivitamin everyday if you have 30 bucks you can go on ebay or amazon and get a huge tub of whey protein, the best protein. one scoop mixed with a glass of milk will give you like 40-50grams (don't quote me on that). i personally like the double chocolate flavor, there is strawberry, vanilla (eww) and others. you can get creative and throw bananas in there. i'm no nutritionist but it's helped me maintain healthy weight esp. with my fast metabolism.

i've been thinking about it.. and even though i could handle a phone call from her on my birthday this sunday, i think i'm actually going to ignore her call. is this wise? if she send a present should i even write/call her to say thank you. I've been handling NC pretty well IMO. i still feel bad about the whole NC thing because I told her I would support her while she is "finding herself"

oh i agree. never abandon your identity. that's what i was talking about when I mentioned impressionable young asians/whites turning to rap. it's all about pride. and like i said, i'm a hypocrite =) and pathetically insecure about my identity but i still have pride. the older i get the more i find myself trying to learn about my culture, i hope this is the case for many others. girls, ANY girls are very interested in a guy who isn't just plain normal, so guess what - being cultured helps. Talk about it, it'll keep them interested in you, my ex actually agreed to sit through 7 documentaries on my country right before we broke up. p.s. korean/jap movies rock LIFE - it's great that you hang out with people you enjoy being around, and have no problem crossing barriers. But for the others who are seeking some sort of acceptance from other races, I still see a lot of asian kids if not most hanging around their own type... and then that leads someone like the OP (not blasting you, just a friendly example) to come here seeking some relief. And Americans watch American television. To the many of them that get their impressions from tv, Asian guys = Jackie Chan, Asian girls = Gong Li. As over simplified as that is, it's up to you to change their thinking. Anyone is welcome to PM me if they want to talk on a more personal level, I've been through a lot of the same things you might be going through. ~ cheers

i know exactly how you feel. my ex and I would be on the phone for like 4 hours every night until she fell asleep. The silences are frustrating... but you have to put that extra effort to compensate for the loss of physical connection. We had a few arguments about the silence, mostly me saying she doesn't talk enough and her saying she had nothing to say... So to avoid the arguments I would ask her questions to get her to talk and then from there she would ramble on. what helped me was to remember what was going on in my gf's life and ask her about it. like how a certain test was or how her project is turning out, how her grand father is.. if she's talked to old friends etc.. you get the idea it shows that you care and it's something important to talk about. also have fun, i like to question her about what's she wearing to bed etc and then from there it kinda get's a little ahem.... it kind of makes it feel like you're not just going through a whole day and then summarizing it to your significant other. oh and someone on another thread suggested getting a webcam. I've never tried it but if me and my ex get back together *cross fingers* then that's the first thing I'm going to try. ~ g luck

Well like you said, your LDR is still at an early stage. Has it turned romantic yet? If not I think you should keep it strictly platonic while you still have the chance... Spend more time with the local girl, I'm sure you'll find that special connection with her if you just try. Personally speaking, you went through so much with your LDR. You and me, we both gave it everything we had and all the commitment in the world couldn't keep the LDR together.. so I really don't want you to put yourself through something like that again. I know I won't. And like you mentioned.. you'll save a lot of money avoiding a LDR! I have 1400 to blow since my gf broke up and we're no longer going to cali for spring break. Clothes shopping for me!! see it really does work out. =)