The Law

This woman is dumping material, you are just her emotional tampon and definitly not her nr.1 on the list. I mean look at it, your simply blinded by love and happy she makes contact with you, however she is just having a bad time with her ex and leans on your support which she knows she will get. I would stop letting myself be abused like that, think about it, if she really wanted to be with you, she would pursuede to be in a relationship with you, which she doesn't , which means she isn't interested in you in 'that way', i would protect myself from the hurt, and save my dignity and step out. Be carefull with this one.

you wrote in the end "So just though leave the girl be and be cool about it" Personally i think you should stick with that and not make contact, the ball is in her court she says she is messed up ,meaning that its better not to bother or wait for her. Did you lose your cool when you did contact her? Personally i think so because when i look at your post you worry to much. So my advice is, Stick to the decisions you make initially, it will make your card play much stronger compared to hesitating. This because i think you usually have it right on the first guess, personally i wouldn't worry too much about the rebound because she already has been out of the rebound for 6 months, however there is still a chance of this to happen of course, i think (not now but in a general sense) its important to ask a subtle question if she is still seeing the ex, because most of the time that means that they are still having a space in their heart for the ex to return to , that's the time to run away, but in this case i would take my chance. Don't contact and wait it out like you initially decided, would be my best bet.

You are right about the control part , however personally i think you stepped into her life too early, it might take 2 to 3 months for someone after a divorce to come to their senses again, i think that if you had given it some more time she would become possibly available for you, so keep the control, but if your still into her, you could try sitting this ride out, alternativly you could try to meet and date other girls, maby the paths of your destiny will cross this woman again when she is ready, you might give it another try then.

You did the right thing, especially if you look at the fact that you said the project was DUE. + that he himself KNOWS that he IS busy with a project, mean that all the focus should be on the project, you where right for not even saying hi, yes its unusual but you can say to him 'i didn't want to disturb you with getting your deadline'. Actually i don't think you even have to say that, i think your worrying about nothing because the issue was discussed before hand its only logical and normal and thoughtfull of you that you didn't butt in. So no worries ok? A week after the project is finished you could ask him how it went without trouble.

No worries, everyone has to earn what they receive in life, and if you believe,love and support yourself you can do just the same. Nice poem by the way.

You don't deserve your wife, and you are too mentally unstable to be in a relationship in the first place. However your son is at stake, if i where you id give everything in recovering and creating a stable household for your son, trying to work this guy out of your house may only be attracting her more to him, so id try to push him out in a backdoor way, continuesly prevent and reduce the amount of her seeing him, but don't tell her this. Although even if he manages to get with your wife , you shouldn't become angry at him rather on yourself for letting things come this far , although self blame isn't proper too rather goto a theraphist seek mental help and ask for professional help in a kick off clinic, heck it might lead to nothing , what matters is that you show you are making a sincere effort to save the relationship between you and your wife. Be patient with yourself and your wife. Your wife deserves the best, its just a matter of being the best, meanwhile rotten things will happen, like whatever those two are still going to do together i don't want to think about, but expect and be prepared for it, as you have a lot of bad karma build up towards her that is probably going to hit you back in the head like a boomerang real soon. So be all you can be , and don't EVER return to your self destructive habits,as they lead to nowhere.

Your not going the right way, because no matter how you look you should always love,support,believe in yourself, that way you could look in the mirror and say 'man im satisfied with who i am ' that impossible for you to say , its better to do those things so you are happy with yourself , and then you could think something like the lines of ' i like myself for whom i am, but i will work to improve this and that ' , that's much healthier then having such a resentment against yourself, really what are you doing to yourself? Name 3 things of yourself that you really like about yourself, hard eh? Its important also that you improve yourself for yourself, and not for others, do you want to lose weight because others call you fat? You see you are like a rough diamond who has to be chiseled in the way you want it to become a beautifull diamond to shine for everyone, now what you have to do is to sow that hole in your hand shut, your just wasting money on garbage, only get what you really need. Learn how to save money, and only to invest it in things that you really need. Trust me a bunch of new clothes aren't going to boost your self-esteem, what you need to work on is the lady on the inside, and don't worry you will always be you as long as you don't copy people, and come up with creative design and intelligent thinking in terms of how you want your life to be, you can find inspiration in nature or your environment and apply that on yourself,or something totally new that the world has never seen before , so you can really say this is a part of myself, the only way to define yourself is to 'go out' into the world and let the experiences define who you are. Not some fake stuff, but your personal memories, your experiences, things you have seen, things you have thought about ,think about that, form your own opinion on these things, and move forward to be the woman that you want to be. If you feel that your lying to yourself, your right that person who you are trying to be does not represent your current self, however this isn't a problem because as you said its a 'devellopment' hence that a change takes place, Throw away your sigarettes, only keep yourself busy with things that are meaningfull and define your own position in life. No action = no reaction, so be sure to make continues investments in this as its a long term investment in yourself.

No action = No reaction. How about you get up and activly seek his attention, you always miss if you never shoot your gun right? Its a win win situation for you, ask him out and if he says no , you can move on with your life and say to yourself 'well at least i tried' , and if he says yes you got a date. Heck you should listen to that song of Gwen Stefani " What you waiting for? " Modern tho Desperate times require desperate action, get in the ring and start flirting, remember a relationship is a continues investment from both sides, nowadays its unusual for only males to initiate, woman initiate just as much (hopefully) rather then waiting asleep like thorn rosy waiting for their prince to arrive 'ding dong' reality check its not gonna happen, hot guys don't ring your doorbell out of nothing to give you companionship, its time to throw yourself for the lions , be carefull with what guy you date tho, long not all have good intentions with you, but trying to invest in your own future is better then waiting for the fairy godmother to improve your life, you can wait all you want but that 'aint gonna happen' sorry for the harsh reality check , but you need to get your head out of space and back on earth and how real life really works.

Its his baby let him handle it, its non of your bussiness anymore. She is an adult(i assume) and is old and wise enough to understand that sexual contact can make you pregnant, and with the contraception of today freely available everywhere it should have been possible for her to prevent this. So now just let her deal with the consequenses of her actions, don't become her emotional tampon just because she is pregnant, someone else did that and either he and her have to pray the price, you'd be insane if you stood up and became her emotional crutch, you'd be best to steer away and remove that blindfold of love from your face. Amen

Its evident be there where she is not. If she is at the house leave, or goto your room,library , anywhere away from her will do.

Tell her she needs to push the bad people/things/events out of her life and only engage with good people/things/events , she is opening herself up to someone who is emotionally devastating her, what good can come from that? Nothing, heck id even leave the job and get something else, she deserves the best , and a hella lot better treatment then what he has been doing to her. Its awfull and totally disasterous to make a decision to be with a person who you know does you no good. Its like asking, please destroy me i made a choice that allows you to hurt me. Its pure a decision making thing, she is so in love with him that she is too blinded to see where this is ending, she'll only end up hurt. I would tell her 'use your brain, he's no good you are blinded by love, and should leave this guy immediately' If he goes to say something to you, you should say 'have you ever positioned yourself in her shoes, would you like it to get hurt like this?' definitly say these things that make him think about his actions, but don't get too involved, remember basically you are at risk of creating 'sides' while you should love everyone unconditionally, its really a sad situation i hope you can knock some sense in her head before she breaks down.

On the messageboard link removed they have an OT Tutoring place, although you shouldn't go into the other sections, the Tutor people there are willing to help as long as you do the work. Its not much but, its more then nothing. Don't start blaming the teachers, even if its not relevant, that should be irrelevant to you. School is just a formality, its a lot of non-sense basically you need to focus on the diploma and go for that. If teachers don't help do it yourself or hit the tutor section in off-topic, or maby if you post some of your questions in here, some people in here may aid you, since its such a hard time for you making all these questions while your having a baby. Maby there's a few geniuses browsing here in e-notalone (H)

very beautifull ^_^