shep88ner

do you think love is a special feeling that you share with one and only one person who you feel is your soul mate? or do you feel love is a feeling which can be felt only with a select few people? or do you feel love is something that can be felt with anyone if you work enough with them? i have always been one to believe in one true love. but i always here stories about how people used to love eachother, then they go on to mention 4-5 other people they loved. so what is your take on love?

i didnt bring up her past sexual past. i mean, sure, i asked about what all she did with people just to know. but i didnt know about this guy she slept with until she brought it up. SHE called ME and was crying her eyes out about how she was "going to get beat up" at school becasue people were saying she had sex with this guy. so i asked if she did and she insisted she didnt and she was going to get beat up for not doing anything. but allllll my friends told me differently (guys who knew this guy) so i kind of got suspicious and emailed him one day and he was straight up with me and real cool about it. i just waited back until she came clean with it. and the reason i was so upset about the thing 2 days after we met, was that we met on december 27th. she left on the 29th. she called me on new years eve and told me to not kiss any other girls back home. even though we werent dating i still didnt kiss anyone becasue we were pretty much dating just not officialy. and then i hear what all she did. then had the nerve to call and tell me not to even kiss another girl. im not really mad about either situation. it's in the past, i cant change it, it was a long time ago now. the reason im upset is that she lied to me. if she told me straight up what all happened right when it happens, i wont be upset. it's the fact my girlfriend is lying to me on a regular basis now. i can live with her past, i cant live with the lies.

ill try to keep this short becasue if i typed it all out, you'd be here all day...keep in mind we have been dating for 10 months, 11 on December 6th. here are her lies... 1. around month 4, i heard she had sex with this guy from her past. she denied it to my face 2 times and even cried her eyes out to me she was telling the truth. well, after i did some digging and did some clever tricking, i ended up gettin the truth out of her after over 2 months of lying to me. she did in fact have sex with this guy. 2. she went on a band trip with her school 2 days after we met. upon returning we started dating. she told me she "peck" kissed her ex. boyfriend who for 1/2 the trip was her seat mate since they couldnt switch seats and they had been dating until that point so they were partners. well, after several months of me believing her, she came out and broke down with the truth. she told me they made out for about an hour, he fingered her, and she have him a handjob all on the bus when everyone went to sleep. 3. this happened just recently. i confroted her about her lies a long time ago and we talked them out. several months have rolled by and i have had no reason to not believe her. so she went to her friend's house (girlfriend), she was gone for a long time but she said she was practicing a song for band. so then last week, she breaks down again and tells me that she wasnt at her girlfriends house the whole time. she went to this dudes house (a guy i really fu***** hate and dont want her to see, but that's another story). she said she was helping him with his chemistry homework, but at the same time watching a movie. and said she only lied because she didnt want to start a fight by going over there. 4. this one happened just last night and on into about an hour ago. she told me last night she sent the above mentioned guy a message on myspace telling him about how they cant hangout anymore because he's "immature" and it's ruining our relationship because i hate him. but she said, "i sent it thursday and after 5 days it automatically delets" now, i woulda loved to read this whole message. so i signed on her name to see if maybe it was still there. and i found messages from 2 weeks ago. and they didnt get "deleted after the 5 days". so i asked her if she just straight up deleted it about an hour ago on the phone. and after confronted with the evidence she admited she deleted it separatly. i dont like how i get played as an idiot. other than this, our relationship is great. but if she keeps doing this, i dont see up making it to december. she seems to think its not a big deal and her little "lies" are small and i shouldnt get mad. and that is staight bullsh**. is there anything i can say or do to stop her?

dude, my girlfriend is the exact same way. they could even be identical lol. so i know what you mean when she flips out over trivial mistakes. and we pretty much handle our problems the same way too, sometimes i just dont want to get into it over something stupid and then my girlfriend says i come accross as a "smartass". but im not really, its just she's mad and im in a normal mood so she cant see that im normal, she sees me as a jerk. but yea, i do think she is being childish and she needs to learn to trust you care about her even if you slip here and there. i dont really have any advice for you since i have the same problem and would kill for solid advice. but you did nothing wrong man, just hang in there and dont try to make matters worse by defending yourself into making a huge fight. if she's like my GF, she'll be over it in a little bit

i dont wanna make it sound like her fault. i mean, yea, she shouldnt have been going through my phone but i cant be upset with her because she got upset. i knew before i sent the message that there was a good chance she'd read it if i didnt delete it and i also already knew how sensitive she was. but i cant get mad at her or pin it on her for being upset about it. i mean, if i read one of her text messages and she told someone how big someone else's penis was, id be upset...and it wouldnt be fair for her to pin it on me why im upset about it.

i just dont understand how she can get upset with me over this and she can make that comment, about a guy she used date only a few months prior. and say it with me sitting right there and then get mad at me for saying something to a friend in a text message. i dont even know this girl, it's not like i was looking for her...it's just one of those things that gets your attention when scanning over a page ya know?

the main problem i had was accidently leaving it in my phone. she goes through my phone all the time messin around with it. i never see any harm. but i knew she'd take it wrong if she saw it. id never cheat on my GF nor would i ever dump her or date someone else for their body. but it's hard to believe people sometimes i guess. it all kind of reflects back to a moment we had earlier in our relationship. we were at a little social gathering thing and i was sitting next to her and she was talking to her friend. then the subject of her ex-boyfriend came up. well they're both in marching band and she made the comment about him wearing a cut-off tshirt and playing the drums and she said "all i thought was, 'ah! dont do this to me now!'"...and we had been dating for a good 4-5 months. and i'll admit, im a scrawny guy. im 6'1 and only weigh 140lbs. i think im stong but just not built and all that. so yea, i know my arms arent big and attractive but i dont really dwell on it. becase if it was that big a deal, id work out more. but when she made this comment i felt like crap about it becasue she was still looking at her ex in that way and still thought about him in that fashion. i mentioned this to her when she found this message, and she said the difference was "we were only dating for a little bit and our conversation had been about him for awhile, i just commented on it. you on the other hand went out of your way just to mention it and bring it up. i didnt bring it up." which i just wanted to look her dead in the eye and tell her how much bulls*** her argument was, but i just stayed quiet to avoid a huge fight

i made a big mistake the other day involving my girlfriend. she is very self-consious about her breast size above all things about her. she is a 34b. she is also only like, 104 lbs so a 34b doesnt look bad on her at all. i really like them. but im in college and she's in highschool back home. so i was surfing pages on "myspace" and ran accross this girl in our highschool. she doesnt know her but i know who she is. well, i texts my buddy (guy friend) about how big this girls boobs here (they're unproportionaly big to her height, she is like, 5'5 and probably has a D cup). but anyway, i went back home for the weekend and forgot to delete my text messages from my phone. well my GF went through my phone and found my omments. she got real upset becasue i had to "look at other girls to get my enjoyment" and all this. then the other day, i was watching her change her shirt and i noticed she had on 2 bras. i asked her why and she said "im too small for you". and this was like, 4 days later after i thought it was all done and over. im just real bummed out about it. i mean, any guy will admit, even if you dont look for other girls, every now and then you cant help but see an attractive girl. i didnt mean anything by it, and i love my GF and her body. it was just a guy talking to a guy and things like that come up frequently. i tried the whole "talk to her seriously about it" but that doesnt work. she wont budge. she still thinks i think she's too small and i dont like her body. i just hate how she has to try to impress me now and wear 2 bra's and all this crap, but i cant stop it. all because of one dumb comment. what can i do?

oh....and here's another problem.... her birthday is on December 14th, then Christmas is right after that so like i said ealier, i have very little money since im in college... can anyone help?

me and my girlfriend will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary on january 6th, 2007. i was wondering what would be a good gift or good anniversary surprise would be for her? but know this. i am 18 years old, and i am in college. i have very very little money. so any suggestions? i really want to make this a very memorable day/night for her. Thanks!

im just curious about what you all think about sex. do you think it's a romantic connection, just a fun thing to do...ect. i'll start by telling what i think. i used to think it was just something fun and carefree but once i had the chance to have cheap sex. i backed down. i waited till i met my current GF and then had sex. im glad i did. i see it more of a connection and a very romantic thing. your turn!

i, unlike most other posts on here do agree that once a cheater always a cheater. because obviously if they cheated in the past it shows they couldn't care less about the other person's feelings as long as they got what they want out of the deal. even if they meet their "love" or whatever, they're still going to be all about themselves and about personal gains. it would take something extraordinary for them to change, but even then, i dont think it's possible to 100% change

me and my girlfriend celebrated our 10 month anniversary apart last monday since im in college and she's still in highschool. the past 2-3 weeks or so all we have done is fight, and i mean, fight big! we've "broken up" about 5-6 times but always end up working it out by nights end. before now, we were so great. i mean sure, we had a fight here and there, but it's nothing any other relationship doesnt go through. but it's like we stoped understanding eachother all of a sudden. we fight so much and she cries so much anymore because of me, i feel so terrible inside. she said "there's no love or romance in our relationship anymore. we're losting everything for the other." it just seems like all we do is fight. tonight, i came home from college for the 3 day weekend and right away, we got into a HUGE fight. we broke up again and for once, i really felt it was for real considering all we ever do is fight now. but i droped my attitude and when she was still crying and sad i talked very light heartly to her and made little jokes and got her laughing and smiling again, which is what i wanted to do the whole time. so we went and had a real talk without the fighting, and we ended up agreeing to go back out again. but something had to change. then what happened next is what im so worried about. we ended up making out and had we had more time, we very well may have had sex. now, im not going to complain about that, but a few hours before, she was crying her eyes out and we about called it quits. i do not want our relationship to be all about sex and sex only. im really scared she sees it like, the only way i'll still love her is if she gives herself up to me so i wont leave her. i dont want to do that to her, i love her for her, not for anyother reason. so my question is, how do we regain that love and romace and compassion we had before i left? we were even ok the first month i was gone. but now its all gone. is there any books, or websites? anything? any advice? how do i save my relationship with this girl? the only option i have at this point is to try until the next big fight, then give up.....

the thing about calling the cops. i mean, sure, they might cuff him and take him downtown. but within a day or two he'd be right back like nothing happened. he'd never learn from that. he's a foster kid so he doesnt really have a real dad that would show him the right/wrong way to be a man/father. im not saying im going to act like his dad, but in a way i think the only way he's going to actually learn is if i forcefuly let him know what he's doing is unacceptable. and since our little run-in, he hasnt (to my knowelge) done anything to this girl. i even heard an argument they had and he didnt know i was listening and he actually wasnt yelling that much. so i dont know, maybe it did some good? maybe not...i just feel good and bad about it

as bad as it sounds, if it were a weaker male, i probably wouldnt have steped in like i did. in that situation i would have just broke it up. but it was the fact it was a pregnant girl

i dont really know if this is the right place for this post, but it's close as i can get because of the oddness of it. well, i'll try to keep it brief. i knew this girl from highschool and i never ever talked to her. she was the weird, semi-goth, kinda emo people that i just didnt associate with. and on top of this, she was really quiet. so i knew who she was but didnt know her. well the only class i had with her was my freshman year, and since that, i never had her in any classes. well...towards the end of my senior year, i met my current girlfriend. my GF and this girl happened to be best friends. so as time went on i got to know this girl since we hung out all in a group and everything, and i learned she was actually really cool. well, she met this guy and he seemed ok, a little weird, but nothing out of the ordinary. he was so nice to her and we all hung out, the 4 of us all the time. well, as time has gone on, his temper has come out like crazy. and when he and this girl get in a fight, he REALLY lets her have it (verbally). screaming, yelling, cussing...really a crazy person in my eye. we just learned a few weeks ago this girl is now pregnant with his child to my disproval, but hey, their lives. anyway...we were over at his little apartment, the 4 of us, and they started to argue before we left. so me and my GF were just going to leave and stay out of it and let them handle it together. but just as i was closing the door, i saw him reach out and shove her against the wall and got right up in her face yelling. my girlfriend didnt see it but the second i saw that i told her i'd be right back and i burst back through the door and fliped out. i ran up to him and shoved him one time to the floor. i stood over him and, shouted some choice words, and told him very sternly that if he wanted to beat on someone, to get up and beat on me, not his pregnant GIRLfriend...well, he stood up, steped back, and tried to hit me. but before he could throw his punch i caught him right under the eye and he stumbled back and i then shoved him into the wall. i then, forcefuly told him that if he ever touched her like that again i'd hear about it and i wouldnt be as nice. we left his apartment and he was just standing there, looking at the ground and his girlfriend was crying at the whole thing. i talked to her and she said he was actually really calm after we left and they for once, had a real talk about their problem. im cool with the guy still but i know that he knows if he ever does that again ill kill him. i just dont know if i was in the wrong. i mean, i feel a lot better for stoping this guy from beating on a girl, a pregnant girl at that. but other than a few short months, i really dont know either of them. i was just raised to NEVER ever hit a girl. my dad has a saying, "if you ever hit your girlfriend, or wife, or whatever it is, you'll have your old man to answer to." and i know he'd whoop my a** no matter what his age. that was the very first fight i have ever been in, it was the first punch ive ever thrown. apart of me feels better, but something in me tells me i shouldnt have acted out like i did. i dont know...its just weird...what do you all think???

notalone...i can relate to you. often times i am the single man out at social events and i wouldnt classify myself as a nice person either. i have only dated 3 girls in my whole life and dont really have any lady friends. so 100% of my time was around the guys, and you know how that goes. so i had a very "guyish" attitude and thus, given my age, an 18 yearold's "guyish" attitude is pretty foul. but i met my current girlfriend by luck at a small get together. and she brought the nice out of me. i care for her like i never thought i could care for anyone, and i do the nicest things for her. true, i get crap from the guys for being "soft" and all that, but it's just to pick on me. i truly think that if you meet the right girl, either by lucky chance or through some other way, she will bring the good guy out in you. once they realize what kind of person you really are deep down all the other stuff like, haveing a boring job and all that wont really matter to them. my GF now thinks it was cute how when we met, i was the only one not talking to her and her friend at this little get together, because i was too nervous to mess up infront of such a pretty girl like her, and i knew that being around my guy friends, i would most likely be an * * * to her anyway. just hang in there man, some day you will find the right girl and she will bring out the real you, the nice you. and other's will notice your change. good luck!

oh..and another thing. when she realized i was close to finding the convo, she fought with me like crazy to keep me from reading it instead of explaining it to me. making me believe if i wouldnt have fought back, i never woulda read it; just like she wanted. also, i feel there are ways to be nice witout saying stuff like this.

alright, my girlfriend has this little thing, i dont know how to look at it really. she dated this guy for 6 months, then he broke up with her. then she dated this other kid for like 3 months then again, she got dumped. after that one, she started dating me, and we've been dating for 10 months tomorrow. she still talks to her first mentioned boyfriend quite often. he calls her from time to time to see whats up and all this. well, i was at her house once and i stumbled accross an old AIM messenger convesation between them saved on her computer, she said "you dont think i dont think about you EVERY night before i go to bed? you were my first love, i could never forget you!" so before i jumped the gun, i checked the date because i wasnt sure if maybe it was before we met. well, we started dating in january, and this convo happened april. i flipped out. another thing. he works at this kmart up the road from me, when me and my GF go there, and he's working, im not allowed to make a scene to draw attention to us. and one time, she told me to wait in the car so she could go talk to him w/o me around. (so i yelled and waved at them from her car, lol) well, her mom is best friends with his mom and she plays this into her excuse of why she does this. she says that her mom almost forces her to be nice to him because she's scared it would damage her relationship with her mom. and on another note, this kid is boarderline suicidal. she says although she doesnt like him, she doesnt want him to kill himself. i have even seen signs of this depression he's in, and i actually believe it considering what all ive seen. and thus, his mom has also asked her to be nice to him to help him out of his depression. so i dont know, we've been dating for 10 months, it's the longest relationship for either of us, but i still cant get the "i think about you every night and you're my first love" stuff outta my head...im not too upset anymore about it, but when i do thing about it, it always makes me wonder...what do you think?

i agree, i would stay around and wait for her because you really seem to have something with this girl and really, 2 months isnt that long. it'll be over before you know it.

she like, takes my penis and puts like, the head in then hold it and stops and doesnt let me go in and says stuff like "how bad do you want me??" so i just grab her hand and push my way to in avoid that little situation. ha. but like, ive tried doing that myself to her and it only teases me really. and ive tried like, fingering her then just when she starts to really feel it i stop. that only frustrates her...i dont have any good techniques that shes begging for me to give it to her.

My girlfriend and I have a LDR because I am in college. When I come home for weekends a lot of times we end up having sex at least once. She has always been really good at teasing me and making me want her more and more before after what seems like an hour, giving it to me. What are some ways to tease her to make her want for me to build way up before I give it to her? I only ask because I know when she does it to me it makes the sex so much better on my half because of the anticipation. I want to know a good way to tease her so she's so hot by the time I'm ready then it's just THAT much better for her. Thanks

alright, thanks everybody for your support and help. i guess just being away from my norm is kind of making me think crazy sometimes. i just want to fit in so bad and sometimes i think i would do anything to have at least 1 friend. but i'll probably go to the doctor over thanksgiving break and see what he can tell me. until then i'll just keep being me to the best i can. i mean, eventually ill make friends one way or the other. afterall this is only 1/2 of one quarter...i have 4-5 years here. im sure by my senior year college will be just like my highschool...i wont be able to walk to class without hearing my name 4-5 times. alright, well, thanks agian

im only 18 years old so i cant just go to a pub. there are clubs yes, i was actually thinking about joining the golf club. thats how i got assiciated so easy going to highschool because i was on the golf team and knew all the influencial seniors.

true i guess...it's sad i know. i'm just going to see what happens with it and see where it goes from there. im just so frustrated because im not used to not having friends. it's been 3 months and i havent really made any friends. i go back home for our highschool football games and i hear my name yelled every 10 seconds. i just went from the whole school knowing me to nobody knowing i exsist. and i know it's all because in highschool i was more comfortable because i had known everyone for 12 years and i was myself. but here i dont know anyone so i dont make a sound