longhaircats

My impression is that she is trying to sort out some unfinished bussiness with her ex. So I wouldn't contact her until she is ready. If you want to, you could let her know that you are still interested in getting know her whenever she is ready. But don't wait her around. Keep looking!

Yap, I told him not to contact me anymore and I blocked his email. I have no feelings left for him. It's just a memory of having someone so close to me moved on so quickly that makes me sad, but I'm better off without him. I don't think he wrote to me because he had feelings for me......anyway, I don't want to waste my time by thinking of him anymore! Hope you are doing well.

Caro33, Thanks for your responce. Someone between 29-39 is the age range I am looking for. I tend to be attracted to young men, I guess because non-Asian people (am Asian) look a lot older than they are. It seems that most men whom I'm attracted to in this age groups are all taken!!

Hi DN, Thanks for your quick responce. My program is 3-4years, and I am waiting for a research grant to come through. If it goes through, I will stay here, but if not I may go back to the States. There are a lot of uncertanity here. I am well aware of the differences in our life stages, and my brain tells me that I should end. I know some people in mid 20s are ready to settle down or at least open to it, and I just wish he was one of them, but he is not. Sigh.

I met a guy who is 12 years old younger than me at a bar/club about 3 weeks ago. Well, I always get hit on by younger guys because I look a lot younger than I am. I'm also a PhD student at the moment and often hangout with people in their 20s, so I don't feel old at all. But here is my dilemma. I am very attracted to this 25 old man, and he tells me that age is just a number and he is always attracted to older women. However, he told me the other day that he is not going to get married for the next 10 years. Since I'm divorced, I don't have a pressure to get married right away, but I would like to find a life partner and start a family within 3-4 years before it's too late to have children. I don't want to let myself fall for someone who is not ready for a long-term relationship. At the same time, I want to enjoy the moment and see what happens. We went out for a grocery shopping yesterday. He hold my hands, kissed me on tube and streets etc., and told me I look good and sexy. We went back to his place and cooked dinner together, he played guitar after the meal. He asked me to stay over his place (he told me he will behave, so no sex) and I had a great time with him. I can’t wait to see him again, but I can’t help but wonder where is this going…. My best friend is dating a younger guy (she is 31, he is 25) for 3 years and her boyfriend doesn’t want to settle down since he is going to a graduate school, while she wants to get married. This scares me and I am reluctant to get to know him proactively. My female friends tell me “just keep looking while having fun time with him”, but I'm afraid that I may fall for him. Any advice would be appreciated!!

Hey Orlander, I posted here 2 weeks ago about finding out my ex moved in with new girlfriend already after 4 mo from our breakup and 3mo of NC. He sent me another email yesterday for "closure" to let me know that they are now engaged! I broke my 3 mo NC to wish his birthday and happiness. I told him that I will be there for him as a friend if he needs me. I called him last week when I was really down because the guy I was dating for a month decided to get back to his ex-girlfriend who treats him like a safety net. I called him because I was okay to hear what's going in his life, including his new girlfriend. I thougt that he is someone who will be there for me and support me as a friend. But he took it so badly. He told me that it's pathetic that I only called him for bull * * * * and I didn't call him other time (during NC) to check up on him or just a small talk to cach up with our lives, because he thinks that's what friends supporsed to do. He always takes things in negative ways and that's why I wasn't sure to spend rest of my life with him in the first place. He acted like our rollercoaster relationship was all my fault, and he took it out on me in the email. It seems almost like he did it to hurt me to move on. I just couldn't believe that this was from someone I gave my heart and soul for 3 years. I now realized that things happened for reasons and I feel am blessed that I didn't end up marrying this man. The day will come to you when you realize that the breakup with ex was the best thing ever happened to you!

I didn't mean physical attaction only. Like other people here pointed out, confidence and assertiveness are big turn on for many women. I like when a guy talks about something he is really into, and his eyes grow from excitment. That's very attactive as a person. BTW, there are prenty of jerks who are short too!

Suppose there is a very attractive single guy and 10 girls are after him. He dates all of them for a while and he eventually picks one girl as his girlfriend. He is nice and sweet for this particular girl he picked, but he is a jerk for the rest of the girls. See my point? I don't think good girls go for bad boys. Bad boys have potential to be jerks because many women are attracted to them. We all want a nice & attractive man.

aymee_lee, thanks for your wish Batya33, I know there are a lot of jerks at bars/clubs and I've met those, but usually I am with my friends in a public place so that the chances of being harassed are less. I tried link removed for 2 days and one guy sent me email 3 times since I didn't reply and he said something nasty to me in his last email. I think we need to develope a thick skin to be able to deal with people like this, but I just don't think I can put up with it anymore.....

Not really. But Aikido class may have a potential to make friends. For swimming, I usually swim about 30min vigorously and I am usually in my own little world I feel great though. SuperDave71, do you cook for yourself? I love cooking, but just don't feel like cooking a nice meal just for myself... hazey_amber, pay per view porn would be a good thing to enjoy when you are alone

Hi Daligal83, Wow, sounds like all of them are very interesting. I will go to a book store tomorrow and check. I used to love reading and forgot how fun it was. Too may text books these days! Thanks again for your recommendation!

I want to take piano lessons and French conversation. I started swiming and Aikido already. But none of them are scheduled on Friday night!

I do like to read. I have a pile of books and papers that I have to read, and am feeling pressured, yet I haven't been able to concentrate on them. Any good books that you recommend on a day like this??

Hey Kleopatra71, I actually had a nice herb buth for myself and it was nice. I watched the sex and the city dvd for an hour after that, but I stopped because it reminded me of my ex (he gave me the whole 6 seasons as my birthday gift, and we watched them together often)..... I had a nice red curry (ready made) for dinner and am on the 3rd glass of wine.

Hey Daligal83, Thanks for your reply. I too came here for a graduate school, but it's in a different country and the school sytems here are quite different from those in the US. I'm doing my own research (solitary PhD student) here, and I don't have to take lectures. I worked from home today and I feel like I'm a monk in a mountain to decipline myself by cutting out all the human contacts. I'm very social person and am not usually like this. I'm gonna go out tomorrow night with my new friends, but I just don't want to bother them all the time. I wanted to go swimming, but the gym at school closes at 7pm, assuming that ordinally people would have plans on Friday night!

I should get used to this, but I just hate the fact that I'm alone on a Friday night. When I was in a relationship, I loved being alone on a Friday night (I had a living-in boyfriend) and enjoyed a glass of wine just for myself with my favourite TV shows or dramas. I've been single for several months now, and I tried to keep myself busy, but I was just thinking, I had too much of this. Friday night used to be my favourite time, but now I am not so sure. I made new friends in the new city over the past 3 mo, but I still feel like I don't belong here. I need to go out to make friends, I know I know. Just wondering what do you do to make yourself happy in a situation like this. Am I the only one feeling like this? I feel a lot better now than few weeks ago, but am having just another lonleny Friday night...sigh.

But we still don't know if he was lying or not. I would be upset too if I get that text, but I wouldn't jump into a conclusion without talking to him in person. I would just let him know that I am upset and ignore his text and see if he put any effort to contact me in person. That's more "mature adult" behavior to me.

Jeez, that's pretty bad too. How did you deal with him? Did you block him again?

I have received emails with sexual contents before and I blocked them, but this is by far the worst one. Parsley, sorry you had a bad experience too. You are right about ego. syrix, I leaned a lesson I will avoid conflict at any costs in the future. I'm sure there are great people online, but I'm paranoid. No more online dating for me!

Thank you for your suggestion. I will not contact him. I just blocked his email. Also reported abuse email to the craiglist (they are supporsed to give me an advise if abuse continues).

Have anyone experienced receiving abusive email from someone you met online? This just happened to me after I rejected a guy and I am scared that this guy might use my personal information (first name, email, and my job) for something bad. What to do? This really scared xxxx out of me!! Just wanted to know if anyone experience a simlar thing. For those who are doing online dating, please do not share your information with a stranger too quick!! So here is what happened. I posted an ad on a craigslist and he answered. We exchanged few emails and our pictures, but I didn't write back to him immidiatery after he sent me his picture because 1) he wasn't my type, 2) I met someone else I like offline. Then the same day he sent me his picture, he sent me another email asking if his picture scared me away. I didn't want to be rude to him, so I wrote back to let him know that his picture did not scare me but I met someone else and wished him good luck for his search. Then he called me a liar and gave me some other insults. I should have left this loser alone (my mistakes!) but I wrote him an email explaning that it was true that I met someone, and it was his desperation and lack of confidence that drove me away since he didn't even give me a day to respond . I also asked him not to contact me anymore. Then this guy turned into a monster. Here is his email. Mean things?....how on Earth did you interpret anything I said as mean? Actually, I think I remember you now.....you did this to me before........you lied to me, strung me along, refused to answer my emails, I even emailed you my phone number! When I called you on it, THAT was when you got abusive. Lack of confidence? I'm confident enough in myself to know that I'm better off without a liar such as yourself in my life! Firstly, I wasn't mean to you. I just told you the facts, you chose to get offended by things that I said because they just happened to be the truth. Secondly, you'd met someone else but you still thought it was ok to email ME? What happened to your "Cultural Differences" and priciples of "Not dating multiple people" then? You're a liar, and you seem to have a habit of doing this to a lot of people. And as for "Desperation"....please do not flatter yourself! I can and HAVE done MUCH better in terms of a relationship. Your so-called "Respect" for me extended to the point to where you decided that it was ok to chat to me, AND embark on another relationship with someone else. As for "Freaking out".....hahaa.....I laughed at that one! Are you THAT paranoid and over-sensitive? Ever thought of becoming a comediene? Don't worry, I will not contact you any more - I have better things to do with my time, and better people to speak to. If being with someone as dishonest, disrespectful, and mentally mixed-up is the only option I have, I'd rather stay single. So, would respectfully suggest and request that you do NOT email me again or contact me in any way, but owing to the fact that you are most likely mentally deranged, I'm sure you will answer this email with something equally insulting. Oh, and if you can drop dead too....that would also be nice I'm sure that even though I've just told you NOT to contact me, you will send me a nasty email in return. You're too stupid to realise when you should just shut your mouth, and move on. Idiot. XXXhis name

bella, I recently went through an anger stage, and it's definitely a progress. I've blamed myself a lot, wishing that I had treated by ex better while we were together. But like your ex, he had tons of issues at age 33 (irresponsible spending, debt, anger issue etc.) and I was unsure about his ability to be a good father/husband. He kept me hanging for 4 mo, gave me a lot of mixed signals. I found out few weeks ago that he is already living with someone else. I was so angry at him. For the first time in 7 months of initial breakup, I felt anger towards him. After few weeks my anger has passed and I accepted who he is and forgave him and myself. I felt inner peace. It was yesterday that I felt happy again on my own for the first time since our breakup. I’m happy because I have so much opportunity ahead of me to meet great guys!

I would be totally upset if a guy told me "oops, it wasn't meant for you." If it were a lie, I think he did it because he didn't want to hurt your feelings. If your friend is wearing ugry cloths but you don't want to say "you look like * * * *" because you don't want to hurt her feelings, right? Telling a truth is not always the best way, especially in a situation like this. I agree it was a bad lie, but I don't think he challaged your intelligence. I think you were a bit too harsh on this guy.

I agree with Day_waker. You can ask a guy if he has a gf before sleeping with him.

So Mate 1. com and link removed! I've never heard of them. Are they US based? I'm currently at UK. Some of people here recommended link removed and I just signed up for it this afternoon, and got like 25 emails so far but I only find one attractive man (in my view). Could you guys elaborate a bit and tell us more on how these sites are better than others?