Azual
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Well, I wouldn't be moving in with her. I have some other friends who told me that I could live with them because of the issues I'm having with family. My friend is just a factor. And if it doesn't work between me and her? Then I'll still have her nearby as a friend and a supporter. And I know you're not trying to burst any bubbles here - you're being honest. As for her honesty, I'd rather give it a shot. Her actual sentance was "hunny... im not worth it... if you knew me in person youd find out that im a drama queen/emotional wreck" But I don't think I would be unhappy. I'd be near friends, starting new, and be near a friend who cares about me a lot....
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I agree completely with Valenski. He's encroaching on your territory... nature of the beast to react with jealousy and anger. As for the "I'm sorry", agreed. Far easier to talk to someone because they know you don't want to do this, but it must be done. You could however always give her an ultimatum. Him or you. It'll hurt her to all hell and back, but that's always a choice (Not one I'd recommend)...
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Well like, I was talkin my friend that I like in StL (We'll call her Kelly)... Well she's very modest and told me that if I did move to StL I prolly wouldn't be happy with her, but that's not the only reason I'm moving, and there's only one way to find out, right? I really do want to go to StL, I can't stand this place - Guess I am just lookin for comfirmation that maybe I'm not screwing up. lol... But I was talkin to Kelly on the phone last night, and I asked her how happy she thinks she could be with me if I moved to StL - She said Very happy, that I had no idea. My whole stomach had butterflies (And it's been a long while since I have had that feeling) and I was just happy.
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Honestly Chaos, I know what you're going through. Same thing just happened with my girlfriend, albeit the situation was a little different, but the gist of it was the same. If you feel that this guy is a threat, let her know and let her know soon. Tell her you're cool with them being friends, but that she needs to let him know that he needs to back off because he's hurting himself (by holding on to falso hopes because she's currently taken) and your relationship. Sit her down and talk to her, let her know what's up. If she respects that choice and pushes him back a bit, good. If not, I went through the same thing, and drop her. I know it's going to hurt like hell, but do this, and don't blame her. Just let her know that you're uncomfortable with her around a guy who is such a threat and that you don't think it will work. Either she is going to push him off and come back to you - Or not. If she comes back, let her know that she needs to keep him pushed away, because you admit to being insecure about her being around a guy who openly commited to her, even with you there. If she doesn't come back, then it was never meant to be. Hope this helps! Good Luck! Now if you'll excuse me I have to go follow my own advice lol...
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What should I do - Everythign I've ever done is here at home, but I'm not happy and tired of all the pressures and crap... Saint Louis would be giving me a chance to start fresh and be happier... So right now it seems like the logical choice, but I could be wrong...
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Gonna set it out and let her know that it isn't working and I'm constantly stressed with all the schooling, court dates, probation, and with the problems we're having... Not going to blame her, just gonna let her know I'm too stressed for my own good and need to focus on my studies and all the other stuff. Let her know we both have issues that are in the past that I believe affected the relationship.
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I havn't yet, but I'm just going to set her down easy. I'm just tired of all the games she plays with my head. Let her know that I don't think it's going to work and that her and I both have some things we need to take care of from our past.
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Alright, so I am completely lost. Been dating a girl for 4.5 months, and it hasn't really worked out how I wanted it to... and it's just some other stuff has happened... so I called it off. Since I called it off, my feelings for a friend who lives in Saint Louis have come forth, only problem is... I'm in California. However when I talk to her, phone or AIM, she has a way of making me feel better... like tonight when I was really down about what I did she told me... tommyyyyy... im happy for you (Her exact sentance to me, copied and pasted) And so I was really wondering if it was gonna work... when out of the blue, in what I thought was a joke, another friend (She has 2 daughters and a boyfriend so not that kind of friend, wouldn't try and get with her) told me that if I really hated the place I'm living in, she'd gladly adopt me. We both play the same things and like that same stuff, and since I'm starting to hit independancy, I wouldn't be that hard to take care of. So I'm confused because I really want to get away from here, away from my parents, away from all the hurt and confusion this place has caused me. But I still have friends here, and people I care about greatly. My heart says go to StL if I can, and my mind agrees. Yet I can't help but feel like maybe I'd be messing up...
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Uhm... I don't blame you for being confused. If my parents said; "We love you but we want you to burn in hell." I know I'd snap on them. Go crazy. Just my perspective and reaction. But nah, honestly, I think your parents are a little strange. Talk to them about it, find out what's wrong and if you can fix it (I know it may seem like you're being the little b****, but in all honesty you're being the bigger "kid")
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I'm done... I can't take it anymore... I'm finished and it's over. I was going to go with her to a dance, but she just tells me she suddenly can't go because her mom doesn't want her around me (Her mom never had a problem with me before, hell, she loved me, I was willin to learn square dancing one day while waiting for Emily to get ready)... So why the sudden change? Tried to call and find out what I did and if there was something I could do to fix it, but Emily intervened it and just told me not to even try. I'm done. The constant flirtations with the new guy, the constant hurt, and a sudden change of heart... There's only so much a heart can take...
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This is a convo between me and a friend over a messenger service... MrGameHaxor: Hmm, I trust Emily... but I can't get the nagging feeling that something isn't fitting MrGameHaxor: If he is such an ***hole and doesn't respect her... why keep him round? JulieLuvsBrits: well.. when I see them together JulieLuvsBrits: they seem to be having fun... JulieLuvsBrits: what does she say about him? MrGameHaxor: She just tells me to leave him alone MrGameHaxor: And trust her not to hurt me MrGameHaxor: But she always complains about him JulieLuvsBrits: how so? JulieLuvsBrits: they seemed.. awfullly friendly in class. MrGameHaxor: Thats why I'm worried MrGameHaxor: She keeps telling me he's being perverted and whatnot MrGameHaxor: And yet I hear from you that she and him a little close for comfort JulieLuvsBrits: yea... I see them get really playful and friendly in class all the time.. MrGameHaxor: What should I do JulieLuvsBrits: theres not much you can do at this point MrGameHaxor: I need to confront her about this without sounding like I don't trust her JulieLuvsBrits: you should JulieLuvsBrits: after that, you just have to let fate take its course MrGameHaxor: -sigh- JulieLuvsBrits: I know its hard JulieLuvsBrits: but there really is...nothing more you can do JulieLuvsBrits: you've tried all you can What should I do...? I felt loved today, but I know she isn't respecting the fact that Sam is a threat - And she doesn't see that a real friend doesn't grope and doesn't disrespect...
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This issue was resolved, but I agree, less low cut because she's taken. And she hates shorts
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Okay - I need sleep... 3 hours wont be enough but it's gonna have to work... Any advice before I get back would be appreciated. thanks.
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And on top of all this - Everyone I know except maybe 1 or 2 people is going to shun me. That's basically everyone I know... shunning. But at least I'll know who's loyal and whatnot, ya know? And at least I'll have that 1 or 2 friends...
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She's been playing the BF card all week... something will happen in that class and she'll come running to me and complain about it, but then ask me not to do anything. That plays with my head so much. And with all of you basically agreeing that I need to move on, and even some outside help (AIM and Email), most of you all agree I deserve better and I should move on. But it's hard. I know you all know this... and you can all relate. But damn... this is harder than I ever thought anything would ever be... Then again... no one said love was easy to understand... and Nothing is ever easy...
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I know... but I promised I'd always be there... and yet I can't hold to that promise with her treating me like this... And she offered and not thinking clearly I accepted, and so she's going thru with it
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I know, I plan on setting everything straight tomorrow... getting a friends opinion of how close her and this guy are... and telling her she needs to make the decision of me or him because I'm tired of being hurt.
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Thus is why I have a friend that will watch them in fourth and will let me know what is happening. I have a feeling I know what will happen then... so I'm already completely crushed... and hate to say it, but a knife is looking very friendly. Only thing stopping me from doing that is I don't want to give others the satasfaction of seeing me give up completely. I'm most likely done with this - I'm done with all the pain... I don't need it. But if she comes crawling back saying she loves me, what then? If she comes running back saying this Sam dude hurt her, what then???
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Friscodj - to put it in your terms... I've not balls left to kick, not skull left to crack - I'm tired physically all the time from this. I'm tired mentally - I find it hard to do work and pay attention. I'm socially exausted and because of it, a few friends have left me. I can't take it any more. I gave her all that I had to give... and it wasn't good enough. And like Helo said, unless I get a straight yes and she tells this Sam guy to back off and really actually enforces her choice... It's over. I'm completely dedicated to her, but I'm tired of all the pain. I feel completely empty inside already. I'm always cold... even if I'm burning up on the outside...
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Sadly enough, I did. She didn't like them and seemed upset that she had I would have liked her to carry them around. She carried them for 2 out of 6 classes... the rest of the time they were in her locker...
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Oh - And for those of you following my story and helped me out a while back - The roses I got her, best of the lot (Just blooming), looked awesome. When I gave them to her, I told her they symbolized my love for her. She took them with a "Thanks, now I have to carry these around?" That hurt. Come to find later (Tonite) that she was telling people that I got her roses, but she didn't seem happy about it, and said she had no idea why I gave them to her. This shattered my world. I was with her most of the day, and out of 6 classes, she kept them in her locker for 4... 4.5 months of trying to make it work... -sigh- I love you all. Honestly, I do.
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I know Helo... I just... I don't want to give up... but I can't keep doing this... And she knows I'm serious... but I don't think she wants that yet... We're both young, and maybe she just wants her cake and eat it too... (That is used so much on this board... lol) And I agree with you. I find it so weird I can give others the same advice... yet not take it for myself til I see someone else say it. I hate the thought of NC... but I know it's what's going to help me the most... but I still hate it. I thought she was perfect... and I was wrong... Helo, what am I to do if she comes crawling/running back to me, begging for another chance some time (1-Unknown amount of days later)... what am I going to do. My heart will want her back... but I don't want to go through this again...
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I can't take this anymore. The pain... the constant pain... The strength I thought I had to carry on is gone... All I feel is emptyness inside me and I can't deal with it anymore... I give Emily flowers, she says thanks and complains to friends that she has to carry them around and says she doesn't even know why I got them for her. She hangs around with a guy who obviously wants nothing more than in her pants, dating me or not. He doesn't respect her - Constantly pushing himself on her and being around her (unless I'm nearby), touching her things... I guess today (Thursday) he attempted to touch her breasts and she barely tried to stop him. As much as I have begged her to drop him because he doesn't respect her, or the fact that she is dating, she wont. All this pain... I give her tomorrow... I'll do my best to be the best guy she can ask for, that she has asked for... And hopefully... I can restart... But I can't be with her. She doesn't respect my wishes and just constantly demands I trust her and gets angry at me all the time. A little sympathy or somethin would be nice, but feel free to yell at me. I don't much care anymore. Again, I'll give her tomorrow. Hopefully she can change her ways... and see I don't want to lose her... but the pain... I don't know how to handle it... The Emily I fell in love with.... Was a strong willed, anti-harassment, beautiful inside and out (she still is, but she's changed)... And I know the Emily I fell in love with is still there... I just can't seem to find her. And this pain is beyond anything I thought I'd ever feel again... The pain of feeling worthless and no better than a toy... I feel used. I feel like she is toying with this Sam kid and running back to me everytime she realizes she's overplaying her hand...
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Jman, I agree, solitude is a wonderful thing. But even I, who hate humans in general, need a relationship, not to validate myself, but to show the world that I'm not completely heartless. The world needs validation from me. Thinking like this helps me get through my day.
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I'm confused. Do I like her as a friend, or more?
Azual replied to Sam _'s topic in Friendship and Friends
And Helo brings up a good point. If she isn't interested, don't hold on to false hopes and dreams... Drop her off the friends listing a bit if you're rejected... It'll hurt but you'll heal faster.