Daffy

I was wondering how anyone deals with their parents wanting them to burn in hell for eternity. Do you just accept this and ignore it. It really bothers me that my parents say they love me and yet they want me to be burned for all eternity. Am I a bad person for wanting to tell them to go themselves?

Hi Fall 2004 - I was having anxiety attack one right after the other and thinking how I should (must) kill myself. Spring 2005 - I was happy most days, and positive 'overall' Now - I can hardly believe that I went through that. In hindsight I see that I had generalized anxiety disorder through most of my life, and I resent the lost time, but the coping skills I have learned enable me to handle, smoothly, situations 'normal' people tend to exagerate. What helped?... 1. anxiety (for me anyway) is caused by unreconciled emotional conflict. One of the books I read says that anxiety is ALWAYS unexpressed anger, now I don't know about that but I made an effort to understand and reconcile the issues in my life that pissed me off. 2. Kava Kava - I took the 1/2 dose for 2 months, this stopped the 'heart rush' of the anxiety attacks, the only side effect was that I was tired all the time. 3. Therapists - I had two therapists that allowed me to talk about anything including my fd up childhood and always responded in the most helpfull manner (unlike my family/friends). 4. Coping skills - I actually learned how to deal with stuff in a positive/usefull way. The Feeling Good Hadbook, by David D Burns - this book actually freaked me out a bit but it shows how to think things through instead of getting stuck in useless thoughtloops. Too Perfect, by Allan E Mallinger - exposed the motive behind a lot of things that were messing me up. If all else fails.... figure out WHY it failed.

Drop him. He doesn't want YOU he wants his fantasy you. The more you don't conform to his fantasy, the more aggresive he will become in forcing you to be only what he wants. I would be really concerned about how he might react to being dumped, maybe you could meet with his therapist (he sounds like he needs one). I'm sorry if this is coming off too stong but I've been in a similar situation. The insecurity and disappointment you might feel is nothing compared to the pain (emotional and physical) I think you will probably feel if you stay with him.

Unfortunately, unempathetic jerks are everywhere. I constantly find people imposing their own issues and biases on how they talk to me (too). I have know only a few people that were genuinely supportive, as opposed to sarcastic or even judgemental ( of even asking questions ). How do you grow when people around you.They don't support you.I have no friends. Trust your instinct. Some people will not help you, they will make assumptions rather than finding out who you really are and/or what you really need. Don't look to them for support (I've tried, it never ended well for me). Learn to discern. the people you help are people you have chosen to care about and help, and that's a good thing but it's different than seeking help or the social support of friendship. Mun - I would emphasize and encourage their positive traits and use this to support their goals of self improvement. I would also try to lighten the heck up and not make hanging around me so intense (seriously, I am way too serious all the time). In my experience this works.