Azual

Blinkie... My girl was also raped when she was younger, so I know how you are trippin' out about that, that seed of doubt. However, all I can say, is follow the advice you've been given. Compromise. If you can't... let her go man. Trust everyone else here, if not me, it's for the best. It'll hurt like hell, don't think it won't, but it will be for the best. However! Ever heard of; "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, hold on to it."? It's true. If you do end up calling it off and she comes back to you, make sure that you two understand how the other feels about things. Talk it over with her.

I do believe Juliana is saying she would love to help out her needy sister, but fears for the general populace if her sister gets hold of an umbrella... lol

No, we do no drugs or alcohol. That is something we promised to each other. Aside from the one or two drinks at say a New Years Party or a wedding, we both agreed, no alcohol. Drugs are out of the question, as we've both lived in a household with those and it's not something either of us want again. Please note that her and I are still in High School, so we're not on our own yet.... I'm doing better though, found out she ate some leftovers... that no one knew what they originally were... -shudder-... Thank you all for listening... I'm still glad I reacted the way I did kind of, as opposed to not reacting at all... Hmm...

Rabi, that's what I meant, but I was tired when I wrote what I did lol... thank you for furthering the idea. Just wait it out, don't be to pushy, let her know you care and all, but you know... yeah lol... I'm still tired.. Good luck

Yes Annie... it's the same one. Everything is moving smoother and has been for a while now I don't get love... it's confusing... Anyway... she seemed okay at school, aside from sleeping on my shoulder all lunch and not wanting to go to classes and wanting to just keep sleeping (Which I would have no problem with, I don't like classes...) So hopefully you're right, just a cold or something...

I would be with her every minute of this if I was with her right now... but as we're both under 18 and living with parents... we live separately... and she lives far enough away to where I would need a car to get there before I passed out, and I don't have one... I hate not being able to be there for her...

Two hours since she's gone to bed... and I'm still scared... I have no idea what to do... If anyone can maybe point a possibility out... help me calm down...

I was talking to my girlfriend until midnight last night... and I just... well here... We were talking, and she says her mind is in the gutter, and as the night goes on she gets a little deeper into the gutter... enough said... But around 11:30 she starts crying out of the blue... and I just wake up, like I wasn't asleep or anything, but I had my eyes closed and when she cried... my eyes snapped open... I don't know what was going on or anything... I have a cold sweat going... I don't know what to do... She just said she was hot... felt like she needed to throw up... and that she felt sick.... But the crying I heard, it tore at my heart... I'm so scared something bad might happen... I don't know what was going on and I'm scared... I swear, if it's a common cold... then I don't know... I'll sit by her bed with Chicken Soup... but it doesn't seem like a cold... She was crying for 15-20 minutes and then just got real quiet... I convinced her to get some sleep, but that if she needed me, I would have the phone next to me. I don't plan on sleeping tonight... Anyone know what might have happened? I'm scared something bad is happenening and it's tearing at my heart...

Hey Massari, I know it'll be tough, but if you really want to try it, hang in there... find something to take your mind off of her. I've been able to let my girl do what she wants by getting with some close friends and doing something we like, showing her that she can have her space and we can be individuals with lives, but she also knows that if she asked me to, I'd drop what I was doing and do what she asked. Just try your best to keep your mind occupied. Loud music (rock is best... trust this), some pizza, some drinks, and something you and your friends like to do when there aren't your women around. Release your inner nerd Just throwing a suggestion out here for ya and letting you know how it's worked for me (which it has), think maybe you could do this? Might actually bring you two closer, be mysterious But as for what Ilse said... I know where Massari is coming from... And sometimes yes, we would rather be here than without them, we're strange like that.

All I can say is keep being patient... let her know you are there for her, that even if you can't help 100%, you'll do your best to make everything right, and that you'll always be there to talk about it. Hang in there.

I say wait it out... don't push it too fast. I know it'll be tough, but let it take it's course for now... Keep us updated

Massari... take this to heart, as you and I are in the same boat. Sometimes you need to take a step back... find out if this is really what YOU want. There are girls out there who treat you so much better. I know you've prolly heard this soo many times it's making you angry... I've heard it to. "There will be other fish in the sea." I honestly can only say... sit down with her, just the two of you... let her know what is going on and how you feel. Let her know you'll give her the world, and that you give her the world as you can right now and you just want to feel secure with her because you want to be with her. If you've read what I've wrote before, keep something she gave you close, and hold that and a good memory whenever you feel upset. It will help. It's what I've done (And after a few breaks [that my girl and I don't count] everything is going smoother). The best advice is to communicate with her. If she can't accept it, or won't... maybe you need to move on. We'll be here for you.

Hey boosted... I know exactly how you feel... I have the same issues. Best advice I can give you, is that if she ever gave you anything, a ring or something... get some overshirts with pockets, on the left side. Keep whatever she gave you, close to your heart, and whenever you feel weak, hold that object and try to remember a happy thought to do with her. Everything else, the self mutilation and all that, look at how it upset her, look how that affected her. I did that once, when I was extremely upset, my girl found out and it nearly drove her away from me. I hung on, the scars are gone (I heal well), and we're still together. Just remember, she chose you. A little insecurity is understandable, but don't let that control you. Counceling will help speed you along that path, but only YOU can truly make that change. Good luck.

Agreed with Rabican... This realationship has taken too much, and the boat has sunk. I'd say get out while you're relatively unhurt...

Honestly, you should let her know that this guy may not be the best one for her. She'll be angry, she'll yell, and she may hate you for a while. However, either she'll be far more cautious of him, or she'll try to make you jealous and get closer to him, then he may cheat on her and she'll look back on this and see you were trying to protect her. The choice is yours.

Maybe they change as they get older Massari... but my girl hates expensive items. Says I should use the money on more useful items than gifts. Or maybe women are different. I personally think it's the little things that count, not just the expensive gifts. When she gets home from work, have dinner cooking, some soft mellow music going... a bubblebath upstairs all warmed up and whatnot. She'd love it lol

Jake, as a momento, keep something she gave you close to your heart (literally). She gave me a necklace that she broke (that im currently getting fixed), that I wrapped around my top shirt (i wear overshirts) button, on the left side. Whenever I felt weak I held it, reminded myself that she was with me, and thought happy thoughts. It's helped a ton. Stay strong, you'll make it through this!

Welcome to ENA! Let me start with this... In all your time together, has she ever cheated? If not, then we can rule out that she is making you jealous. Now, I have the same issue, and with my girlfriend (for all of you who read about my things, you'll all hate me now... lol... back with her) and it's not because she gives me the reasons to distrust, but it's all in my head. I find that even if some other guy is hitting on her, I know that she would not hurt me like that, will push him off, and I always remind myself that she is with me, not him. Each time you get a thought of your girl cheating on you, erase it with a happy thought. It's helped me so much. As for thinking she'll cheat on your friends, yeah I had this problem too. One of my best friends has math with her, and someone in that class said they felt that he was getting to close to her and was worried for me because she runs off to the lunch lines with him, instead of waiting for me (This arose only because I have a class like 3 rooms down and she doesn't buy lunch anyway). He'd also threatened to me he'd kidnap her, rape her, and kill her if I tried to stop him from doing anything, so the trust with him is gone. He's also threatened to kick my * * * and told a mutual friend that my G/F didn't want to go out with me. Now I'm sure your friend isn't like this, at least I hope not, and you don't have that issue. Just, even if her and your friend get a little chummy, move in and remind them both of their places by wrapping your arms around her in a gentle hug (Now by getting too chummy, I mean holding hands in a "Palm Reading" [believe it or not that one got used on me once] or something like that), don't be too clingy or forceful. Talk to your g/f if you really are bugged by something, communication is key. Talk to your friends, let them know that you have issues, if they're real friends they'll understand. Always remember that your girl is with you, no one else. Squelch the bad thoughts with happy thoughts. It's helped me a lot. Don't be clingy or pushy, but always let someone know their place. Encourage your girl to go out with friends, it will let her know you trust her. It may hurt being away from her, but it's key. If nothing works, I hate to recommend, but you could try counciling, either coulpes or 1 on 1. Good luck!

For those of you who have followed this, thanks for being there. Yesterday it was ended. The final comment I left her, as she pinned everything on me was; You know, we both agree it's over, we don't need to talk about this. I have better things to do and better women to talk to. Cold hearted, yes I know, but a heart that is full of compassion is only so because it knows pain. I think she expected me to crawl back to her, attempting to salvage what I could, and not accept it and be done. Thanks for being there, for listening, for understanding.

I'm just going to break it off. Everything, all the advice you have all given, my friends have all given. Turns out that she was happy I didn't go to the football game at school tonight, and she was going to end it with me anyway. I worked my * * * off to make her happy, and I don't feel bad at all. There are always others that will suit my desires better. Thanks everyone.

Do you really think I should be untrusting with her if she says that? Like she constantly makes jokes like this... *A phone convo between me and her* Her: I really want to go to band camp. Me: Well if that is what you want and it makes you happy, okay. But didn't you say everyone there just gets laid? (Put emphasis on everyone) Her: Yeah, but you have to trust me not to do that. Me: I trust you not to hurt me or yourself like that. Her: Are you sure? Me: Yeah... Her: Okay. Hey what time is it because at 4:05 I have to call Alex and get a ride to Mike's to work on our float. (Homecoming float, sophomore class, I could have worked on it because I have the credits of a sophomore but no one told me when the meeting was.) Me: It's 4:00 right now, I'll tell you when it's 4:05. (Some random talk and a friend came to the door and I talked to him while she was on speaker phone and she yelled at him for interrupting us. 4:05 rolls around). Me: Hun, it's 4:05. Her: Okay I'm gonna call Alexandra then. Me: Have fun working on the float. Her: Yeah, great fun. Get to go with everyone to Mike's house and learn to dance. (Note that I've been told that everyone there is female and it's just Mike as the only guy - Possible importance but I dunno.) *In a joking voice* Oh and Mike is the guy I want to bone. Sorry to put you through that but that was the band camp/float convo we had yesterday. I hella played it off like her comments didn't hurt... but on top of court... that cut deep. I literally almost took a knife to myself but I figured it wasn't worth it, the pain would go away eventually. All my friends and all of you think I should drop her, but I just can't find the strength to do it. I love her completely but one of my friends tells me she's blind to what she has because I give her everything and she really doesn't show that she cares. I'm so lost. I forgive her for the comment because I know people there who would have let me know if anything happened, which I knew nothing would, but yeah. She just jokes around like that, and when I do it, she gets mad...

The girlfriend wants to go - I'm completely okay with it - But according to her, it's just a place that everyone there has sex at. I'm not saying she'd cheat on me, and I don't think she would ever do that... but just a little concerned since close to 5 friends confirmed that all people do there is have sex really. Just lookin for confirmation from anyone else lol.

I believe a friendship is where both people mutually respect each other, and don't push themselves any further than friendship unless both parties are in the same mindset and it would really be okay (ie. both single). A friendship is about respect and caring... As for attraction? You'll always be attracted to something, but that doesn't mean you friends just want to be with you sexually or in a relationship. I have many female friends that I find attractive qualities in that I hang around (I don't have many male friends because I just really can't stand guys for the most part right now). Attraction, I feel, just means you want to be friends with the person, and things may go further, but just because you're friends doesn't mean that. I feel that if you're friends with someone it's because they have qualities you find attractive or appreciate.

Yeah... good point Iceman. I'm gonna hang on for a little while, as I become more independent of her so that if it does end it won't completely kill me... Thanks for the advice.

I guess I'm just being suckered in and the wool is being pulled farther and farther over my eyes... but I can't let go. I go into court today (stupid things I've done) and this morning I looked her in the eyes and asked her if she'd be there for me, because I knew I wasn't going to be able to stand on my own for a few days... She gave me a kiss and said yes, she'd love me through thick and thin. Man she seems so perfect, and I just don't know how to react now that she's said that, ya know?