Azual

Jimmer... that means a lot... I read the whole thing (three times!) and I see what you're saying. Guess that I shouldn't expect someone to be different, everyone has the chance to hurt me... That does help... Guess I'll try just knowing that I love her, she loves me, but if she betrays me, it's her loss. (I wouldn't cheat on anyone, rather shoot myself *Drastic yes, I know, but it's how I feel*) Thanks again Jimmer, and everyone who posted.

Hey Dark, I can completely identify with you. Turned down by your "first love"... beat up by everyone... parents don't trust ya... It all sucks. Everything is a horrid, evil, vile, disgusting figment of time we call life. But ya know what? With all the evil, vile things we face in this world... it makes finding something or someone good, and worth holding onto... all the more special. Glad you've pulled through, we'll be here if you need us man! EDIT - And if you want to laugh at me for this... I just now realized EVIL and VILE have the same letters... just in different spots... lol

So you're saying that by sticking up for myself in a relationship all my problems will fade? If she asks me to do somethin', yeah, I'll do it (Unless it really isn't something I want to do)... I do stick up for myself... just not often because there isn't really a need. That guy a few posts back was something that she came to me when her method of making him go away didn't work... I don't see why I can't trust her... She looked me in the eyes yesterday at school and asked me if I wanted this to work because she did... I said yes... Ain't everything pointing right now pointing to "Trust her"? She calls me daily... practically hangs onto my arm when we're walking... gives me kisses... says "I love you"... Everything seems to be falling into place but I can't bring myself to trust her 100%... and I know it's gotta be a problem with me... And I want to fix it... to where I can be laid back and relaxed...

That's kind of what she's getting at I guess? (Talked to her today). She wants me to act like just a friend in public I guess? Like act how friends act... and be me when it's the "Right time"... so I'm hella confused by that and I'll admit I'm insecure... I want to be "Me" around her (I guess I show affection a lot...) and she wants me to act like a friend. It's her requests like this that don't help lol... EDIT - She called saying the whole thought of me acting like a friend near her was too confusing and that she was stupid for suggesting it... promised to ttry and help me understand tomorrow morning at school... man... Thanks for the responses so far.

No... everything is smooth now Annie... nothing is wrong... I just don't know why I can't trust her.... she isn't giving me a reason not to...

I mean, I don't know why I don't trust her. She gives me every reason to trust her... It's other people who have hurt me... and it crosses over to her and it hurts our relationship...

(Kinda Long) I hate it. I can't trust my girlfriend completely... and I don't know why... Okay, that's a lie. Past relationship issues are clouding my judgement and everytime we hang up the phone, or she hops off AIM... a fleeting thought of her going to talk to another man runs through my head. I hate it! She's done nothing so far to really earn my distrust... She had an issue with a guy... she told me, tried to deal with it, then came to me when it didn't work. Told me my best friend said he'd bone her and that she was hot (Note - I was slightly shocked and angered... not because I have a hot girlfriend... but because this guy is supposed to be my best friend... why is he hittin' on my woman?!)... so I dealt with that because she asked me to. I just don't see why I can't bring myself to give my trust 100%... I don't trust anyone completely... but I hide nothing from her, and I know she's not cheating on me... but I can't help but think that she is from time to time and I know this can be fixed but I don't know how. It hurts to think that the woman I love is betraying me... because she doesn't hide things from me... not that I know of (She says she doesn't, so I have no choice but to believe it). I've had a lot of trust issues in the past; Been cheated on 4 times (1 of which I excuse... never saw her and we both talked about how it wouldn't work, but weren't officially "broken up" according to everyone else) Step parents have lied to me Been abused by people I thought I could trust Friends have left my side/stabbed me in the back I want to stop the whole mistrust thing... I know my girlfriend loves me and won't hurt me, so how do I stop myself from thinking these harmful thoughts... I don't want them... and I fear they'll destroy my relationship with her. I want to trust my girlfriend, but it's hard when everytime she says "bye" I think of another guy in her life... ](*,)

It just hurts that these friends that have stuck by me are angry over this... But if I try to warn them of someone they like, they tell me to shutup and that I'm not giving that person a chance (even if I know that person and who they will act)... they tell me they don't want my opinion unless they ask. Told them the same thing and they said it doesn't matter... I want my friends to be happy, but I want myself to be happy as well... I love my girlfriend with all my heart, and I'm stuck... I don't want to leave her, but everyone is gettin' angry...

Just... stupid little things... most recent one (lasted from Friday until Sunday when she called saying she wanted me back) was just because she felt she needed a break... Everyone says she treats me like crap, doesn't appreciate me, doesn't work at the relationship as much as I do, and is being fickle...

So... going out with this girl again (Like the 4th or 5th time we've broken up and not been able to resist getting back together)... and all of my friends are livid... Puts me in an awkward position because I want to keep the friends happy... but I don't want to leave this girl... I love her, ya know? What am I supposed to do... quite a few people have abandoned my side... left my "family" becuase of this...

All I know is that I will love a woman and not leave her because of wrinkles, that's honestly stupid...

If it was just in the phone book, don't worry about it

Hey SB... I know how you feel... I'm the same way. Past things playing on the current relationship and all... I've found that if whenever you think something bad... turn that pain into productive energy or think of a happy memory between you two. I don't mean some random happy time, I mean a powerful memory that gets your emotions churning. Should help a little bit.

Can't say much more than Jordan... However, as a guy (I don't know if Jordan is a guy or not)... Ego's honestly should go down the drain, I know that I hold one around my guy friends (What guy doesn't?)... but around female friends, the ego isn't there, the desire for them isn't there, I'm just someone they can talk to about problems, someone they can trust to comfort them. You gotta see that even if your guy is the "comfort buddy", he isn't going anywhere if he's a true man. He's a trustworthy shoulder to cry on when life sucks, but he'll stay true to you. The snooping will only make him feel less trusted (who can blame him), so try not doing it. So what if he gets a provacative email... it's only if he acts on it should you worry.

I won't lie. When you're bored... your best friend will be the computer. Get World of Warcraft. No joke.

Hard to have a hobby when everyone around you plays sports and you're the only gamer in the neighborhood. I hate the neighborhood I live in, wish I lived over by my girl and my friends. I'd fit in better. As for looking back on this... I don't think I will... this is how I am, have been since I was a little kid. Hehe. Spugly.... "As could we all its the with out reason that worrys me." Okay, correction. I COULD kill without reason... but I'd prefer to have one. Makes it legit. "Then you have stopped playing and so stopped larning." I've learned what I've needed, but I will never quit playing "You rotter!" I like boomerangs... they're okay Tools of death do have that opeal but never forget that there design was done by the uses paying with there lives in the end. He who lives by the sword dies by the sword" or better from the Art of War "The best way to win a battle is not to have to fight it" True... those who design tools of death do die by those which they create. Fair enough.

Read a bit of it from a friend who happens to have it... not bad actually...

Was unaware of this, hmm. Well, hmm. Russia still has more balls than us, they went after the people who did it. Killed the family. We won't... oh no... sheesh. I hate drama. I like blood. Blood dripping down my arms makes me happy. I'd be a good ambulace person... hehe... Love you too I could kill, with reason of course. As long as there is a valid reason for it, I could. I figured humanity hated me, I like ME and MYSELF and I I don't like toys... I would be stopped just because you had a boomerang... not 'cause YOU'RE BATMAN! I'd stop just to take your boomerang I do like swords, and daggers, and axes though... I guess I'm nice. But I'm still twisted. However, I'd only hurt people who hurt me or made my life difficult. Wouldn't hurt my girl or my friends. Mom, nah. Dad... maybe. Stepmom, yeah, why not. See? Bwahahaa! If someone did this.... I would track them down... and give them a dollar. Tell them they need to save up... buy a nice P90/ES390 and just start a shooting spree. Make them feel better. But seriously, I think that I know a few people who are like that. They scare me.

A shame that their souls must leave the mortal plane, to seek an existence upon a higher level of existence... However... a good friend will just run ahead and wait for us, and at the same time, always be by our side. I hope yours are waiting with you, and for you.

lol... I don't know... I'd be shaken by a person dying in my arms... unless I hated them. Would more than likely sink into a sadness if I didn't know them, depression if I did, possible suicide if I loved the person. I'm not nearly as strong as I seem, but when the blood boils, my memories run wild, and my ager builds... the adrenaline just pumps... and pumps... and pumps. My imagination follows. Sorry to hear about your friend though...

Melrich: I'll try not to lol... Dako: Touches my life? How so?

Haha... actually I think Hannibal was a bit of an amatuer... I mean, come on... cannibalism? How cliche... I'd rather just rip my victim apart slowly... watching the agony on their face, the terror in their voice, and the wild anticipation of a welcoming death spread through them like fire.

No Red Queen, we have not. Unless you're 16 haha. I guess I am a twisted person, but maybe it's what makes me so caring about the people I love... I don't know.

Hmm... could you be considered sadistic if you'd like to see the blood run down someone's chest? To see the wounds in their neck pumping out blood, as they cling for life, knowing death will inevitably claim them in the end? To want to nail people to walls and slowly drain them of their life? I mean honestly... if someone deserves it, why not? I think the United States is far too caring of human rights sometimes. Sexual predators who repeat offend need to be handed over to an elite group of sadistic people. Like me. I could give you some details on what I'd do, but I think the faint of heart would seriously pass out... or someone might get scared and report me to CIA or something... In time of war... who cares about civilian casualties?! Especially in a war on terror! Any of you notice that most terror groups don't look at Russia as a target? 1, nothing to really gain... 2, Russia was attacked once. Found out who it was, hired the KGB/Russian Mafia to track them down. Chopped the heads off of the family members of the attackers. Havn't really been targetted since. But back to my sadistic nature. I like blood. I'd drink it given the chance, if I earned it. Actually, I've thought of hurting someone who has earned it, and drinking their blood (Wouldn't kill them, so they can see me do it), then let them go. I like the thought of blood lining walls as I pass through... of fire burning away the edges of my sanity... Someone told me I'd be the perfect killer. If not completely perfect at hiding everything, I can be ruthless, cold, dishearted, and completely detached from my situation. Now you're all prolly like, "What the hell is wrong with this kid?" Not even I can answer that. However, I'm not all the way sadistic. When it comes to someone I love, I completely hop out of that dark mode... become someone so caring it's scary, based on how much I hate humanity. I just really don't like humanity as a whole. I'd like to start a riot that would take over the U.S. just for the hell of it. That or start a society that targetted certain things. Semi-terror, but it would be a good cause (It really would, but I won't write it down, since some people would get mad at me, PM me if you would really like to know). But imagine. Walking down a blood lined hallway, your heart racing, twin daggers or swords hanging loosely in your hands, the idea of a fresh kill is on your mind, or a kill about to take place. Just gets me all bubbly! Okay, I'm done scaring everyone. Just thought I'd get an opinion on this... see if I really am as sadistic as some people say... Thanks !

Overheard a friend say this to his GF... not completely legit english (as they were both slightly miffed and not quite forming whole sentances... ) Anyway... here it is... "Entering someone's personal space can be tricky. Lowering someone's barriers may be as simple as handing someone who has crossed arms a drink or offering someone the physical comfort or the reassurance of an arm or shoulder to cry on. But don't take for granted your invitation will be accepted." Just wondering if anyone can form that into proper english... and tell me what it means, cause I'm lost... lol...