Azual

Nah, I hate it... I was treated like * * * * my whole childhood (abuse and didn't have many friends)... Today though, I sat her down and really had a conversation with her and told her how I felt about everything... she really listened in this time. At the end of that, I asked her if I really truly made her happy, she said most of the time. I asked her if she was happy with who I was going to be due to these changes she's asking me to make, she said yes. Everything is moving smoother, and I can breath easier, I know the choice is up to me. And I learned today that this "friend" is being moved out of her class because we have a new teacher and they needed students, he was selected. Thank you all for listening and giving me your thoughts and input. Much love.

So what do you think I should do??

Okay... before I just crumble and give in... I've talked to a lot of people... they all agree (and all of you do as well)... That I should just drop it and walk away. Honest opinion - Am I being stupid for trying to salvage this? Because according to a friend, she thinks that the harder I try to be what my girl wants... the faster it falls...

Thank you all for your input. I see what you're all saying, I really do... But hopefully, if I change and show her what I can be... she'll change back to who she was (When she wouldn't put up with this crap for this long)... If not... well then... I'll always love her, but it will prove to me that it's not meant to happen. I take all of your advice to heart, and I really thought about a lot of it today... that's why I'm going to change, let her see what I can be and hopefully get her to change as well. I love all of you

If you want my honest opinion... if he's blaming the drinking... tell him he needs to stop drinking. I don't think drinking really has anything to do with it, but that's just my opinion

I'm not ready to give up. I want to show her what I can be if she's willing to speak up instead of just running to a "friend" and finding comfort in their arms... Should I just end it or keep trying? Honestly...

You're more than likely right... but I guess it's just my nature to keep trying until there really is no point...

Oh I'm not giving the whole "Women are confusing" thing, I just admit I'm not perceptive enough to know what they want all the time. I confronted her about that... wish I could have had a copy on that conversation, but if I remember correctly, her words were along the lines of; If I wasn't making you happy, you'd go flirt and find comfort as well (No I wouldn't, I'd talk to her about it). but I am saying that if your gf (her) made you unhappy, and didn't give you love that made you want to see tham everyday and be with them all the time, then you would flirt with another person. I admit, I'm overbearing sometimes, but if she doesn't say anything to me and doesn't help me, how am I supposed to know what she wants? And she doesn't let him, according to her and the people that talk to me, she hasn't let him grope her, she's stopped him.

-sigh- I don't know... I love her with everything I've got... And we had worked everythign out and then this came up, no reason why... I'm trying everything I can to make it work... She agreed to help me be the man she wants me to be because I told her 1. I can't read her mind and 2. I'm a guy, and don't know exactly what a woman wants. I just want it to work between us so we can both be happy with each other...

4.5 months. I basically worked everything out with her last night, just this one issue I can't let go on. She admitted to me she's rather find comfort in Sams arms than sitting me down and talking to me unless I can change and I told her it would be over if that was how it would be. She told me she would change if I would. I'm willing to change for her, willing to do anything for her, and she knows she has but to ask. The only problem is she isn't helping me change, she just gets angry and doesn't say anything

You lost me Melrich... I read this over and over... never figured it out

I know the feelings of being used/taken for granted. I feel a relationship needs to be open, respecting your partners wishes. I'm going through tough times right now, so I know what's really goin' on I guess... lol... or not... But the feeling of being disrespected, used, or taken for granted... the feelings just hurt. What really gets under my skin is when people just run off to find comfort in others arms instead of sitting their significant other (or partner, you choose. I've been snapped at for that before) and talk it out...

Well, if you've followed along the whole story... I think maybe what has happened in the past is clouding her judgement right now. But I agree... words that aren't backed by action do have little meaning. I'm just going to try and let things cool down and see what happens. Like I said... Friday is the day that will be her decision day.

I'd hate to think she's enjoying it though... and she keeps telling me not to worry, that I'm the only one for her... that only I can make her happy...

I want it to work... so for this week I'm going to back off and see what happens... if by Friday she hasn't pushed him away... I'm gone. Thank you all for helping... but you understand that I want her and I to work? I don't want to give up on her but it's just too much... Everyone here and everyone I know in school and through AIM is telling me I need to drop this relationship... but I can't. -sigh- I want it to work - So very badly... And I guess that I'm just going to have to live with it for this week.

When more than 1 person tells me he's attempted to grab her breasts and she's stopped him (I heard it was pushing his hands away and that was about all)... I'd call it sexual harassment. I don't know what to do. I love her, and I want to trust her 100%, but how to do that if she can't push someone away who isn't respecting her? I know you all prolly understand this when I say I want to be with her... I havn't felt this way about anyone, ever. I really honestly want to never give up... That's why I'm willing to change for her.

Well, I would pund him into nothingness... but seeing as I'll be on probation soon... not the best idea. I left her with three choices since hes such a good friend. Option A) I bust his nose and him and I both get in trouble, me for busting his nose, him for sexual harassment Option B) I take it to the administration and he faces possible Juvi time and counciling Option C) She pushes him away and drops him I know she's with me, but I feel this problem right here is about respect. How much does she honestly respect me, ya know?

Okay, so this past week went okay, my girlfriend and I got a lot of stuff straightened out... set some ground rules... the whole deal. Thursday night she says "I'm gonna be in the FFA meeting, it'll be about 10 minutes" I say okay and that I'd wait outside for her. Now the meeting took place during lunch, end it was an extended lunch... So I blew the whole lunch period waiting for her because she never stepped outside to see if I was there or anything. I told her I had to get some point values from a teacher which would take like 5 minutes. I'm not angry, just kind of upset that I sat there for an hour waiting for her and she never stepped out to say "Oh hey, I'm finishing up some work that I didn't do." I didn't know when that meeting ended or anything, so I didn't ever know if it was cool to drop in and see what was up. Anyway, she emails me Friday (And I couldn't check it til yesterday because I was away at Yosemite with the family doing a 16 mile hike... my advise is never do that without lots of water) and basically pins a lot of our relationship problems on me. Now I admit, I'm not exactly the perfect guy... but I'm not the only one at fault here am I? I'm giving her everything I have... feels like I'm being taken for granted and getting nothing back sometimes. Like with the "friend" in her math class who has tried groping her and doesn't respect her or the fact that she is in a relationship. I don't see how she can't drop him, and that's really the only thing keeping me from being happy with her 100%. She knows I won't keep someone around who doesn't respect me, my relationship, or tries to do that... why can't she? She also complains that I don't trust her enough. If I were to put trust on a scale of 1-100, she's at around 80-90 and though she isn't tearing it down... she's not building on that trust either. So in conclusion, these next 5 days (Monday through Friday) I'm going to be what she wants me to be, and the only condition I set is that Sam be forced out of the equation. I'm tired of hearing from 5 people in that class (Oh yeah, they flirt with each other hella bad). If he's not, I take it to the administration. She asked me to let her deal with Sam her own way. I have let her try for 2-3 weeks and he isn't backed off. Time to take matters into my own hands and push him away for her right? Am I correct in all this or am I just really really messed up in the head?

Keep us updated Kiran. We're here for you!

Agreed. He's playing with your head, and you deserve to know what's really going on. As others have stated, the other woman most likely does not know about you. I'd drop this guy faster than a red hot coal on a summer day. The choice is ultimately yours, but my advice is to leave him.

I know that now I want to be with her... almost lost her completely... I guess that damn euphamism is true... You never know what you have until you lose it... Just happy I could get her back - This time I'm not lettin go

Wow... today was VERY awkward... My path and E's path come right accross each others and our lockers are litterally right next to each other (like 1 to the left and down). Very very hard to not say hi when she said it, and I couldn't manage >. After fourth, 3 friends and her all came to me independently (one of those friends is the teacher in her math class that I talk to just to see how he's doin 'cause me and him are still friends) and told me she told S to get the hell away from her today. After school she grabbed my hand, gave me a hug, kissed my neck (which I melt at and she knows it) and told me she didn't want it to be over. I'm so confused because I still like her and she's a direct influence... but I'm just confused... -sigh-

Hey friscodj... you were right. As much as I felt I loved her, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel better. That and there's plenty more fish in the sea (God I freakin hate that euphamism but it's true)... and specifically one who lives in St Louis... Hell of a distance but... Well... I'll see what happens... haha... To everyone who helped me through this... I love you and I thank you.

Agreed. I honestly think that this is the end of it for ya Chaos. Hate to say it but unless she can drastically change, you may need to take a step away. Be the bigger man who isn't emotionally blackmailing people... and let her choose her path of life. The dirt of choice will fall where it falls, and our path will be shown and we must walk eventually. No sense in waiting around, walk with your head held high. You'll make it through this.

Oh don't get me wrong, I read that. I'm going thru the same thing... I'm not saying he does, I'm saying that saying "I'm sorry" makes it easier to speak and let everything out. My advice is just let her know that this guy is a serious threat to your relationship and if she cares enough she'll back him off and quit letting him blackmail her. If not, it was never meant to be.