Azual

Darn. That makes me sad lol

So I totally took a test... and this was the result... and I don't understand this stuff... it's about "datespeak" in relationships... What You Believe Hmmm...seems like you're not quite sure whether she's telling the truth. You probably want to take what she says at face value, but there's some nagging part of you that just won't let you completely believe her. You clearly don't spend your time doubting her every word. Pat yourself on the back for that one. But you do keep your defenses up just in case. There's no denying that you're a skeptic, but you try not to let it get the best of you. Especially in the beginning, it's smart to question whether her words always reflect her thoughts. To your credit, though, you know enough to put your mind to rest when she's proven her good intentions. Smart man. It sounds like you generally give her the benefit of the doubt. This probably works in your favor, because if she's the type who tip-toes around a topic, then taking her words at face value might force her to clarify for you. Your trust might compel her to communicate better. You've almost cracked the datespeak code! What You Say You get an "A" for effort! You try to obey the "honesty is the best policy" rule, but sometimes you can't help but twist your words a bit. As a general rule, you speak directly and say what you mean. Hats off for that much. Honesty is hard to find in the dating scene. There's a lot of tip-toeing around the heart of a subject. But you've managed to find a way to communicate your message clearly - most of the time. Good work. Whether this is natural for you or you've learned the hard way, you know that misleading a woman can result in a messy situation. You avoid the typical game-playing that so often accompanies dating. By speaking the truth, you demand - and most definitely receive - lots of respect from the women you date. You realize that speaking in code doesn't get you very far, so you refrain from using it as much as possible. I know it's simple, but it shoots right over my head.

I hate bumping, especially here... but I really have no idea what I'm to do with him...

I'm 16 years old, led a life on my mom's side full of abusive people she's dated. My dad, oh... he's slapped me around, made me feel like I'm 3inches tall... basically, if I'm miserable, he's happy...

My father simply hates them! I don't see why, the friends I have are the same group of people he kicked it with in High School! Video games, Magic the Gathering, Dungeons and Dragons... we do all that "Nerd" stuff that he did! So why is he so upset with me hanging around my friends all the time? He refuses to acknowledge it for the most part, and when he does, it's a simple, "I don't want you over there." He's had no problems with my friends and for the past year and a half has had no issues. This past month he's been ballistic! He's even turned on my girlfriend, who he claims that the fact of liking her or not plays no role in keeping her away from me... I can't go to her house now, she can't come to ours, we can't go on dates, and he's tried to limit how much (and by that I mean tried to eliminate) we talk on the phone! He says it's because I don't pay attention to me, my grades, or my probation. Now that's highly unfair because I care about me... I keep myself clean, well dressed, smelling nice... I just have long hair because I look ugly with short hair! As for my grades... ONE BAD GRADE! ONE F! I've had WAY WORSE and he's been FAR MORE lenient! And that grade is not because my girlfriend distracts me, as he claims!, it's simply because I got lazy in that class and forgot a huge project... Easily fixable! As for my probation... I'm doing everything in my power to stay on track, to get everything done... and I've been on this since a week after I started dating my girlfriend, and he only started having a problem with it a week ago! So... can anyone give me some advice on how to let him see how I feel and try to negotiate with him... or am I simply stuck in a rut until I move out and he's out of my life for good...? (Can't control me... and he's hurt me a few times [a few physical times, nothing terrible...] so I can't wait to get him away from me for good)

Also had the jealousy thing going on. After thinking about what you said, made sense! Now it's just a matter of staying non-jealous ha ha! Oh... and talking to the person that makes you jealous doesn't always work, 'cause sometimes they get mad and whatnot... then they do it more just to get on your nerves. Fnly, congrats on finding someone, and I have faith that you can and will cast off the shackles of jealousy. I can't really say much more than these finer and wiser people have... but I can assure you that we are here if you ever need us!

Bayata... I've read both sides of this, and personally, having grown up in a household full of porn as a young child, it really had no effect on me other than I appreciated and respected the female body (then again, I was always an odd child)... However, this child's mother has been with him at all times and computer history is easily deletable, as is everything else "harmful" on the computer. The child is 4 years of age, unable to wield the computer to the maximum. As far as I see, there is no danger of anything here... you're putting thoughts into her head about leaving this man who she has claimed to help her son and all of that good Jazz. Oh, and a man in the home who isn't the father... not destructive. Family was divorced when I was 6 months old, thank you very much. Human nature dictates that we adapt, the kid is going to be fine. ________________________________________________ To Need; Don't let it pressure you horribly, like everyone else has said, unless he seriously stops wanting you, it's not a true problem. Some guys like certain things that they may be scared to do (afraid of scaring their partner away, or hurting them...) and they watch other people. You said your sex life has improved, so like I said, I see no problem and can wholeheartedly agree with the other posters.

Very true Isis. It's time to move on pal, she's playing mind games, and it's messing with you. Find a girl who respects you and can truly appreciate who you are and won't do this. To Isis - Again, very true... but then again... most of us can't get outside the Milky Way Let alone off Earth

Yeah, I guess... Just goping to be hard as hell when I see her again... Oh... and to Boughs - I've been told by many people, that they can see me wielding the political sword... then turn around and be laying down with the poetic flower so to speak... so maybe it wasn't just because you were drunk

Haven't been on in a while... Well, the only reason it was X-mas day was because she wouldn't quit yelling at me that day and so I said I'd had enough... Hope - Don't know how to write it, but I just want to be safe, there were far to many holes in the story she told me... too fishy... Maybe I'm just paranoid because I've had my trust shattered over and over again throughout my short lifetime... And don't think of that I'm not bored with my ex, just she kept yelling at me, treating me like her emotional punching bag/scratching post... and I don't need that. She acted like she didn't want to be there at that dance, and if she did, not with me. Annie - I know, I know. Quit yellin at me. lol. Oh, and twinkies are bad for you... but they're so damn awesome! I told her maybe by thinking about it, by maturing up and seeing what's slipping away... she might keep me. But I've gone back to her 4 times now and it's been the same everytime... So the ultimate question is... Stay and risk being hurt again, or go and find someone who might make me happy?

Just broke up with her today, there were some things that I felt she was hiding about her past (And don't get me wrong, I believe everyone is entitled to secrets) but it circled around her sexual past and I don't want to be hurt again. Feel like crap, which is natural. Also feel a strong attraction to another female friend, which I knew would happen. Thing is, didn't know it would be the one I am focused on. However, should have seen it coming. My friend, let's call her... Aly. Aly went with my ex and I to a Winterball Dance, her mom paid for our dinner and everything. While we were there, Aly had no partner to dance with. So, being a gentleman, and to at least give something back for dinner... I danced with Aly. Now, it felt better having Aly in my arms while we danced because I guess she wanted to be with me. Felt better than having my ex in my arms. I'm pretty much just writing my feelings down at this point... but my main question is... Ever broken up with someone, then found that someone was waiting for you even though you didn't realize it? In my case, even though they danced with you and you felt so happy just to be holding them?

Ah, very true. However, I believe it was a spur of the moment thing, and his judgement was clouded. By all means be mad at him, but don't be too hard on him. He wants the best for you, and I know I'd have done the same. The thought of a Medical Website or another such website would have occurred to me later, after I had asked someone. Like I said, you can be mad, but don't be too hurtful. He hurt you, but don't do it back. Two Wrongs Have Never Made A Right. Talk to him about it, definitely.

He did it out of care for you, and though it went against your wishes, he wants you to get better, so he can be with you. I think you should trust him. Sure, he did something that you asked him not to, but it was out of concern and care for you. He did wrong by talking to her, but I feel he did right by being concerned for you and trying to get information to try and find out what's going on. That's my 2cents.

Hmm... thanks. I guess that's how she is...

*Rant* I just can't help it! (*Note* This is not a relationship issue, everything is fine between my girl and I) This "friend" has given me the "honorable" title of... well, can't really put it... but uh... MonkeyF***er. Wonderful, huh? Tonight, as I'm talking to my girlfriend on the phone, I hear this girl screaming, "Thomas! She's cheating on you! She's looking at other men!" and said one of my friend's names (Who I know wouldn't do that, and is currently dating one of another friend, so...) Naturally I'm angry about it... and I joke about my girlfriend looking at my friend's picture and adding him on Myspace and she completely flips out and says, "You're being rude, and mean, and why do you always think I'm cheating on you?!" 1. I don't. I know she isn't (At least that's what my heart is tellin' me)... 2. I asked her why this person was trying to start crap so I would break up with my girl... Apparently this "friend" doesn't like me. But last time I broke up with my girlfriend, she went into a slight depression, and they found a note with the mention of suicide. So why would she want me to break up with her? I understand I made some mistakes in the past, and I've hurt my girlfriend a few times... but I don't want someone thinking I'm a terrible person because I'm trying to repent for that and because I want to be with my girlfriend for a long time (The thought of marriage has come up before, though we are 16). It just makes me mad that someone doesn't realize how much I truly care for my girlfriend, and is trying to screw us up even though it would end the both of us... Why can't people just mind their own business?! Okay, I'm done ranting about that "friend"... Thanks for reading.

This is true, however... have you ever smiled for 10 minutes straight? Or laughed for that long? HURTS! Unless you have face muscles designed to smile 24/7... it hurts so BAD! Augh! Just my 2 cents...

Anyone else??

"Hello, ok i need some advice..There is a guy that i was with for 1 1/2 years, and the brake up was terrible. It has now been 4 months since,and he is realizing what he lost,and wants me back. I want him back also, since i never stopped loving him. And from what he keeps telling me, he has never stopped loving me either. My only problem is, I have a boyfriend at the moment, and i cant break up him that easy. I have put a lot of work into this relationship, but it doesn't compare to my ex-boyfriend and our relatioinship. My ex and i have been through so much for each other, and it hurts to let him go, or even see him with another gurl. And i dont think i want to let him be with another gurl.. I want to be his only gurl! Back to my boyfriend, he has some how put into his mind that we were ment to be together and he really likes me, and possible may love me. Im so confused and i dont know what to do. I love my ex, but i also like my new boyfriend. Advice welcomed, sighned, confused and torn" A friend wrote this to me, and I told her not to give the guy a second chance. She knows about this site and would post herself if her internet settings allowed it, but since they don't, I was asked to post it for her. Any advice I could give her from all of you would be wonderful. Thanks!

From topic - Helped me. Hope it helps you.

Like I said, I wrote her the note... but I know she'll still hang out with them because she's "nice to everyone" (except me... because she knows me best...) and because he'll ask her too >.

I talked to him about it once, just briefly because it was on the way to a class (and I can't be late anymore) and his response was; "She's your girlfriend, you get a lot more from her!" Still wrong I think...

Cloud - Sadly enough, I didn't think of that because I really don't hang out with anyone else... Hurley - He'll ask her for cookies, she'll go make him cookies for tomorrow... It's annoying... and I feel he's testing how far she'll bend for him... She'll say she doesn't even know she flirts until after the fact... when she's with me.

*~*~*Long*~*~* Okay... so the typical "nerd group" I kick it with (We're all a bunch of nerds so to speak... D&D, WoW... all types of games) really just pisses me off... Our DM - Only real problem I have with him... is he is so pacifist and won't defend me... and spends all his spare time with his Girlfriend *Not saying this is a bad thing! But we never get to play because he would rather spend time with her (On a side note - She never spends time with friends, he gets upset)* "The Jew" (Note - He gave himself this nickname, not us) - Questions my intelligence and that of my "Brother" EVERYTIME we say something. His favored words for us are "You retarded homos..." (Punched him in the chest not to long ago but I really don't feel like fighting him) My "Brother" - This guy is like my brother, been there for me through everything so far... My "Best Friend" - Grr... I'll talk about him in a second... "The Nazi" (Note - Again, given himself the title... just he doesn't go around killing people... He thought they had the right idea though... Twisted kid) - No beef, he's a cool guy. I swear, aside from my "brother" and "the nazi", this group constantly rags on me... every lunch it's along the lines of; "Hey, let's pick on Thomas" or "Hey, would it be wrong if I threw this chair and the legs hit his girlfriend?" (Note, if they did hit her, I'd prolly kill the person who threw the chair, at the very least... hurt them severely...) Anyway... the girlfriend whines that I spend all my time in school with her and not with my "friends"... Anyone else see why I don't? I don't see her outside of school, so I spend as much time in school with her... But this isn't the issue, she just wants me to have friends... I don't consider many on the list above to be "friends"... Now the guy who is supposed to be my "Best Friend" is hitting on my girlfriend terribly... Or so it seems. And by terribly I dont' mean he sucks at it but I mean it's obvious to me that he seeks a lot of attention from her and she just gives it... I honestly feel threatened by him because his classes are right along her passing period, so he sees her a lot more than I do, and he has math with her. In which!, he wrote on her calculator; " is hawt, I'd bone her." She came to me with it, and he admitted (To me and her!) that he would, given the chance. (For those of you who read a thing a while back, this is the same guy who threatened to; "Kidnap her, Rape Her, and Kill Her if I tried to stop him". Now I already don't trust him because of that.. and now it seems he's testing how far she'll bend to him... and it's annoying. He knows I can't do anything about it because I'm on probation, and it's like a bunch of guys are moving in on her because of it... only most of them back off once they see she's taken (and maybe get a glare from me)... but he won't... Now he's told me before all this he had no interest in her (Hah!) and that he was persuing another girl. However she got a guy and it seems he's turned his attention to my girlfriend... I mean the dude is an okay guy and could get a girl if he didn't creep them all out and cut his hair a bit... I wrote a note to my girlfriend saying I felt threatened by his presense (Being honest with her, not asking her to do anything, just letting her know how I felt) and how I felt about how she kept talking/yelling (it switches) at me to spend time with friends... I guess my questions are... Can I truly keep this group of friends? And what about this "Best Friend"? I know I should just leave him, but I don't want to risk my girlfriend getting hurt (He's usually pretty violent from time to time) and I don't want to go to Juvi for beating his lights out...

Wait... your girl wanted to have a baby?! What grade are you in! Look at it rationally... either you'd drop out or become extremely stressed... a baby is not what you both need!

Sweetsound, how true. I have a lot of female best friends because from time to time... I get this surge of hatred for other men and go to them to talk. Get out and have some fun, meet someone you really like to just kick it with. Find the inner child and bring it forth!