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perhaps

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  1. perhaps
    I know that with my ex she doesnt see how she pushes my buttons and I often feel like a jerk because she knows how to hurt my feelings very quickly and the only way I react is with anger. We all have our defenses hers was seeing me as the problem to the point where I stopped dealing with what I was doing wrong and started focusing on her issues to try to balance things. It became a mess and needless to say she is my ex. The only person we can change is ourselves. What do you do right before they become angry????
  2. perhaps
    The person I love the most in the world would describe herself just as you do. You might want to look at allowing yourself to be loved. Stop worrying about being antisocial and open your eyes to all the wonderful people you reject. I picked her because I too have a hard time receiving. Allow yourself to be loved by people who know you arent perfect. There is a person for everybody. I found mine but I will find another one someday. Just hang in there and be good to yourself. No matter how antisocial you are there will always be people who love you.
  3. perhaps
    While it is only 12 hours since I talked to my ex so I am in no way doing as well as you I do understand that feeling of release. Enjoy the moment and dont court the next crash because it will be here soon enough.
  4. perhaps
    Really? Youd did well. You are not responsible for her feelings. Take it from the one who is on the other side of this drama. You should be proud of yourself that you were honest about your feelings up front. And as a friend it is right that you should have compassion for her. But do not mistake compassion for love. Take a copy of what you wrote and put it in a letter addressed to her. Believe me she will not like it and as I did to the one I love she may throw a fit. But better to be told the truth and grieve an unrequited flirtation than to have been in a decade long unrequited love relationship.
  5. perhaps
    If someone is too insecure to let you know they like you run dont walk to the nearest exit. They have issues deeper than any love can cure.
  6. perhaps
    Just fyi--if you are interested in someone go for it. But listen if they say no. See my earlier posts on how I earned that wisdom.
  7. perhaps
    Believe someone who tells you that. I wish I had. I finally heard clearly that the women I loved loved me but was not in love with me. Clearly there are moments she loves me too but they arent enough. You deserve love. Wait for the right person. She may be the right person for you but like in my case you may be the wrong person for her. It is also ego gratifying for power mongers for you to love them and not have it reciprocated. Im not sorry she gave in to me only sorry I didnt hear her clearly enough. Listen now or waste a decade of your life.
  8. perhaps
    I know what you mean causing your own pain. I left a relationship (well okay I was thrown out kicking and screaming) and even thoguh part of me has moved on I still pine foor her and go back and forth on the friendship issue. I end up ignoring people who do want to be my friend because all my energy goes into wondering about how to be her friend without falling into the trap of hope for getting her back. Well I broke down and called twice today and she wouldnt answer. Tells me she doesnt want to be my friend. Guess I have to move on some more. Two steps forward one step back. Dont be too hard on yourself. She could have written what you said and I know that she is in pain and hope she finds happiness with someone soon. Mainly herself.
  9. perhaps
    I sometimes have that feeling too when someone is very important to me I compare how they treat other people to how they treat me. I have a pretty negative filter and sometimes misperceive their attention to be less than it is. Consider that you might be part of the problem. Also some people do hate goodbyes and will withdraw first. I tend to do it in all areas of my life because I have had too many goodbyes.
  10. perhaps
    I know the feeling guy. You just have to hang in there and go find someone who will love you for being you. Sometimes you can love somebody with your entire being and they can still be the wrong one for you. It does not make either of you wrong or bad just not a match. Sometimes as in my case one partner had a fabulous relationship while the other was quietly drowning. Send the letter and let go. Or burn the letter and let go. But you gotta let go. Take it from me it is hard and you can find that there are moments that you take the problem back. That is when I end up here. But if you keep trying you can continue to let go.
  11. perhaps
    You are getting the benefit of my new found and hard fought wisdon. Just 4 months ago if you were to tell me my partner was going to leave me I would have laughed in your face. But apparently we were having two different relationships. If someone tells you something trust them. I was in total denial. And until last night was madly in love even having been dumped. And here is where you resonate. Yes I did switch off almost 10 years of love in ten minutes. I had to. She has turned my heart into confetti. So maybe you should examine if she was having the same relationship you were having?? Or if she turned off her heart on purpose for some other reason.
  12. perhaps
    Wow. I like what you have to say. Wish I could add more but am in a reading mode. But what you said moved me.
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