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Silentlyfor

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Everything posted by Silentlyfor

  1. Silentlyfor
    You guys are great, you know that? I'm ok and I'm doing much better now. As for friends and family, I do have my mother to go see on Christmas Day. As well, that movie night sounds great!! Abating sadness and misery, however, is the task that I am the most weary of. But I don't think I'll do anything rash or irrevocable. I'll be fine if I stick to my guns. I'll post back if anything changes.
  2. Silentlyfor
    I don't know what it is, but I've started thinking about my ex again after 6 months of our breakup. I don't want her back. In fact, I don't even like my ex. But memories of the Christmas we had together are making me genuinely miserable. I remember I had the BEST Christmas of my life with her and her family. Now, dammit, I don't have anyone by my side this year to hug, love and hold. I'm not going to break NC. That's impossible considering what I went through before to even get over that she moved on with other people. What my problem is the weight of this misery over me. This is something that is very depressing for me. I really wish I could just forget it, but I can't seem to. What can I do? I feel like I'm might do something regretful like contact her new Christmas Day or mabey even get so miserable as to consider committing suicide as an option. Any advice? This was my first relationship EVER so I'm not sure what to do with this sadness and pain.
  3. Silentlyfor
    I was hoping that the wonderful people that frequent enotalone.com can help me with what I've admitted is a problem that I need to fix. I seem to be addicted to being inside my home and I don't know how to motivate myself to go out and do things that people would normally do to have fun. I don't seem to have that motivation to get out of my house and experience things. What I usually do is dally about and watch TV or game and I don't do things like go to parties, make friends, aquire interests or hobbies or visit family. Why am I like this? What do I need to do to change? I feel like I have no initiative to make a move to better myself or experience life. What is it that I need to do to stop moping around my home all the time and feel excited about being an adult that wants to do things with his life?
  4. Silentlyfor
    I just broke a close friendship with a person I dearly trusted. What happened was a girl I was going to see has started to date him. I feel... I feel so sad. He told me just yesterday after a long talk that we had for about 2 hours or so. After which, he broke the news to me. I couldn't even look at him. I went upstairs to my room, had a fit, waiting for him to leave and then called my best friend up to tell him how enraged I was. He came back to hear from somebody else that I ended the friendship with him, stating that their are just some things you do not do to a friend. He called me a * * * * before he left. Now I feel pitable and low. I know I made the right choice, but I feel like loser... I feel like a giant mass of nothing. This is a guy I considered one of my closest friends, for as long as I knew him, anyway, and well as the girl. She lied to me about the reason she did not want to see me. I feel like a complete and utter loser. What's worse... I'm the one that introduced them to each other, initially with contact information. I feel so pathetic. I feel like waste.
  5. Silentlyfor
    I couldn't be friends with my ex either despite the fact that she strongly, STRONGLY wanted some connection with myself. I thought the notion was selfish and unkind on her part just after she said "It wouldn't work". I couldn't and I wouldn't for anybody I've dated for... hell, as much as a week into any given relationship.
  6. Silentlyfor
    Well... She said she NEEDS me as a friend. I have a feeling she's still interested. So we've still talking to each other othe the net and stuff. She said, more specifically, that she didn't have time for a relationship but she still cares deeply for me. I guess I'm getting mixed messages here. I've asked friends for advice. Some say let her go. Others say make yourself available as a close friends (some say "with benefits"). She's still seems emotionally attached to me. What should I do?
  7. Silentlyfor
    As a University student, her schedual is packed. From the impression I got in her email(which kinda hurts), but she couldn't get involved right now because she's working for 2 majors. It sounded like she really wanted otherwise to happen. However... sometimes these things happen. Not sure what to do after that... any suggestions?
  8. Silentlyfor
    Nevermind. Go back to your lives citizens. She's not interested. Well... I guess that's that.
  9. Silentlyfor
    Man rainy day. Hate those days Is it normal to miss a person this much? I mean, I really want to see her again, but she's still busy. I just really want to see her again. She's wonderful, smart, and attractive. Is this normal or am I just miserable and need somebody nearby?
  10. Silentlyfor
    No N-O. No I'm not expecting my ex to contact me on my next birthday. I know she won't. That's why I didn't contact her on hers. Sorry, but if they don't care about you, just as my ex doesn't clearly care about me, why should you? I say it's pretty self explanatory. Don't give them that power.
  11. Silentlyfor
    Yeah, having a bit of an emotional morning. Missing the girl I've been seeing is and being alone reminded me of her. Not easy since her blog is up again. However, I didn't do anything.
  12. Silentlyfor
    Lol You're right. Never had a girl this interested in my before. Really, I just have to think of something else until she's available. My friends said they admire the fact that I have a strong desire for her company, but don't yearn for her and try not to think about her too much. They are glad I've started seeing other people. They were worried I'd be miserable for longer than I was. I love telling my friends about this. They give me good, healthy advice and they keep me grounded. It's perfect for me because it prevents me from doing anything stupid. I'm very willing to wait. After all, we still keep in contact over the internet every night. Man, are we ever into each other. Puts a smile on my face whenever we talk and share. The best part about this is we were friends first. We already care about each other... and than feels so good to me. But she is in University and very busy this week. I have to respect that.
  13. Silentlyfor
    Feel a little blue right now. Now she's leavin' me hangin' I haven't been able to see her in 4 days since our date. She's telling me she promises to tell me when she's free. Man, I don't like yearning like this. Makes me feel... well crappy.
  14. Silentlyfor
    K... We are exactly alike. We love the same things, we have the same ideas and beliefs(except politically), we both find each other VERY attractive and we started knowing each other as close friends. Plus... well... we just cybered last night for about an hour and a half. So, we already care about each other plus we' both are at the same stage at our life. Personally, I think(...hope) this will go well. It's almost too perfect.
  15. Silentlyfor
    going well now. We had a long and intimate passing of MSN messages yesterday. More later. Break's over.
  16. Silentlyfor
    Well... more explicitly, she's a college student working towards a major in Arts and Education. I'm just working and I'm on my own right now THINKING about going to University for either a degree in Liberal Arts, Education or English. In my opinion, we're at relatively the same stage in our lives. Ya know, mabey you're right. Mabey I am overthinking this. I should just wing it for now and see what happens.
  17. Silentlyfor
    Nevermind. Waste of time. Time to move on.
  18. Silentlyfor
    Good job man! I'm in the same boat... sort of. We've went on one date but... man... I really like the girl. Anway. GOOD JOB MAJOR!! I'm glad to see your happy
  19. Silentlyfor
    Well... That went well... We ordered pasta entree. We spoke all night. I made her blush several times while I stared into her eyes. We shared a dessert. We both had a lot of fun, but she had to go to work. She... held my hand while I walked her to the bus stop. We stopped and talked for a while before her bus came. She... kissed me sweetly on the lips before the lips before she left. That was awesome... Oh look she's online now. Uh... it went VERY well
  20. Silentlyfor
    Feeling better. Had a date today. Went REALLY well. Now I'm feeling... Well... GREAT!!
  21. Silentlyfor
    We're going out for dinner at a nice Italian restraunt. I'm meeting her right after work. I'm very nervous.. but excited. I have no idea where this will go.
  22. Silentlyfor
    So I've asked a girl out whom I've know for a month and a half now and I just found out she feels the same way I do about her. I became very excited.. I really like her and her personality and... I just like everything about her. But... this is our first date. I've calmed myself down... but I'm still nervous about tonight. Since this is one of my first official dates in my life.... any pointers? ANY and ALL help would be appreciated.
  23. Silentlyfor
    I'm doing much better. Thanks for listening guys. That was scary. I'm realizing all I need is more time for healing. What I'm going through is normal and each time I go through this, I feel much better every time I do. It's something we all go through. Don't hold me to this, but I think I'm healing very well.
  24. Silentlyfor
    I don't now why, but I've woken up very depressed today. I feel like I've wasted my entire life and I have nothing to live for. I feel like I have a * * * *ty dead end job, no gf, no future and I'm wasting my time with a writing career that I think will never lift off. I haven't achieved a thing in my life and was a lazy wreck until I was 16 when I actually decided to do something with my life. I feel my life has be nothing but a concatenation of misery and failure up to this point. I've flunked most of my school years. I'm absolutely horrible with people to the point where I haven't made friends on my own and have refused to try to talk to people because of one reason or another. I have a crappy job, which is shameful, because this is the best job I've ever had in my life so far. And lastly, I * * * *ed up my last relationship with a women that I dearly loved and I * * * *ed up worse by grieving terribly.... that whole experience makes me fell like a montrous, unlovable and wasteful human being. I just don't know what to do. I've been feeling like this on and off for a few months now. I'm not sure what to do.
  25. Silentlyfor
    This is the worst I've felt. I know she's not coming back.... I'm in so much pain right now... I'm so depressed... Why didn't she want me? Why do I feel this way about only one person? I'm in so much pain right now... I don't know if life is even worth living right now.
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