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JustNormal

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  1. JustNormal
    Oh .. LOL.. Ohh.. man.. What are your parents going to do with you. Whew.. That was a good laugh. OK. Here's the juice. If you have nothing going for you then nobody- not just girls- will want to be around you- ever. No money no honey. No school no job. No job no money. Ya see where this is heading? Study your butt off. Girls are a constant. Getting out of that one horse town isn't. You really need to make good grades or else you will be getting NO GIRLS in the future. OK?
  2. JustNormal
    The quickest way I know to snap a moderately intelligent guy out of that pattern of behavior is to tell him that he's scaring and permanently crippling his children. Which he is. He is also crippling your marriage, but that's a different matter in this case. If he wants his children to be better than he is, he will stop that * * * * now and catch himself. It's habitual, so he will gradually slip up fewer and fewr times as he does catch himself doin it. Sort of like weening yourself off of taking the Lord's name in vain. When you get angry it slips out. He will have to check himself and use his head. And eventually, he won't have to catch himself anymore. He needs to understand that he will damage his child by doing this. It literally stunts brain growth when you grow up in a rage or war prone environment(hypothalmus). And you never get it back if you are over the age of 5. Development of the brain is set from that point onward. Over time he will calm down and handle irritations from the first reaction in a normal manner- which is he figures out how to solve the problem. This is part of being a real man. You keep your cool and do what's best for your family. Even if that means giving up your own life for them. That is what it's about- and I hope he understands this. He will be crippling your child. He must stop. The damage will last until your child dies.
  3. JustNormal
    "should i end it with her even though im soo madley in love with her...or should i stick it out while in italy and make it work?" Make what work exactly? It hasn't worked so far, so you assuming that there is something you can preserve here. And from what you are saying, there never has been anything to salvage. And her sleeping with somebody else is pretty much the wake up call. She doesn't trust you and she isn't loyal. You can have a better relationship with a gas station attendant. This relationship was done before it ever started I'm afraid.
  4. JustNormal
    "I feel like I will never be good enough for her no matter what I do." Bingo. And you are correct. Either she will have an epiphany and trust you or you will have to leave. That kind of "relationship" will only suck the life out of you. And dying ain't no kinda livin. It's pretty straightforward. She can't trust men. And that is necessary to have a relationship with men. Which means she can't have a relationship with men. Which means she can't have a relationship with you. Which means that there is really nothing left to do on your part but tell her what she is doing and if she doesn't get a grip with reality that you will be saying Wiedersehen and farewell. Sorry about this bud. Not much else left to do with this one. Wish there were more options, but you have no control over her choices.
  5. JustNormal
    If he wants to go to a little league game.. I mean why not? Having every Friday blocked off seems a little obsessive. Don't you think it's good that he wants to watch his little cousin play baseball? And if you had a fight before about whatever, I think that's the most innocuous thing that he could do. He could have bought a hooker and stayed at the motel 6. And if you wanted to go watch a game or go to a dance recital for your kid sister on a Friday, do you think he would get his panties in a bunch? I'm going to say no. There needs to be some flexibility, because that's life. And yea, you had a fight but he ain't going anywhere. The worst thing you can do is corner a guy when he's pissed. When a guy wants to be left alone, it isn't code for "Please harass me and follow me around." Really, when a guy wants to be left alone for awhile to hang out with his friends and family, let him. You will only make the situation worse by being vindictive and petty. There needs to be a little empathy here. He seems like a normal guy. Just chill and he will hang out with you. Not a hard thing. The alternative is you harp on him and drive him away for good. You can't be this clingy even when you are married. Guys needing space and a life isn't a negotiable option.
  6. JustNormal
    But if he goes with her to exercise or "play", which is what it really is. He will be having fun with her. That would probably take care of the worry and doubt and other issues driving her eating. Just kids playing outside. How hard is that? Everyone should be that happy with their life and spouse.
  7. JustNormal
    I concur with frisco. That's the best way to take her mind off whatever else and get busy getting healthier.
  8. JustNormal
    Well, that's good. The more she fights the clearer her intentions will become to both of you. She sounds like a dragonlady. Bad news.
  9. JustNormal
    I can tell you without a doubt that I share the females traits in that study. If anyone looks like my mother, I will not be sleeping with her.
  10. JustNormal
    You sound like a good kid. Keep the faith and really- you will get what you ask Him for. As a point in that respect, I'm starting my dream job in a week and.. and getting 100K/yr for it. All I did was pray, apply for 2 weeks and bam. Hired on the spot with one phone interview. I don't pray for anything unless it's necessary and beyond my control. That's where God and his mediators(saints/virgin mary/etc) come in. I am very careful to never ask for what I can do on my own. And I pray every night, just because I can. The jist is that it works and it works like a .50 caliber sniper bullet. My plea's have never been not solved at that instant. You are working at walmart now. But with your attitude and faith, you will be running it at corporate headquarters before long. I'm very proud of you. Don't lose sight of who you are, where you came from, and what you want to become. Faith, hope, and love can break through all barriers. All the best.
  11. JustNormal
    He needs to probably divorce her now before she puts more debt on his name. Whatever one does in marriage permanently affects the other. If she buy a swedish feminine massager, the judge will say he owns half of it. Same with a house in a rich part of town. He owns it and is liable for it. He needs to get an attorney involved quick- or he will be ruined- and by proxy your inheritence will evaporate.
  12. JustNormal
    First of all, waiting until you are 30 or so to get married is the norm now- not the exception. Unless you live in a trailer park, typically there are things you need to do before marriage- like earn money. And it's hard to get there before that age. And you being wishy washy is normal. You won't be proposing luckily, so we can take little impediment out of the equation. You just get to sit back and answer. And the question is, Is there hope for us? There is always hope. But both of you need to get off your dis-affected asses and get a grip. Your boyfriend could be ground up in a tree mulcher or fed to muslims in Iraq tomorrow. Stop screwing around. Either you want a future with him or you are a dolt. Pick.
  13. JustNormal
    If you notice that she has stretch marks on her arms or thighs, she may be a compulsive eater that swings in cycles back and forth. They can't keep it together for extended periods of time and typically under imagined or real stress. If you see the teltale signs that she has done this before, then she probably has. Which means it's a mental thing and she needs counseling by a psychiatrist. They will probably medicate her and not solve the real issue because that profession is mostly bull * * * *, but it's worth a shot. They think they are MD's so they drug everyone that comes in. Anyhow, go see the new witchdoctor with her and see if there are any insurance approved options. Or you can talk to her about it and tell her that not only do you want her to calm down with the eating, but that you want her to go with you to a spa/gym. You can work out and get massages together and have fun playing tennis or jogging and such. Join a club if she's amenable to that. And if none of that works, you can squeal and scream "Oink! Oink! Oink!" whenever she walks by. I think that would be a bit much though- but it would be good for a 3 second laugh. Good luck.
  14. JustNormal
    If you are an inch taller than her then you are short. Sorry for the bluntness, but if you have a beautiful model looking 5 foot 10 inch tall woman next to you- other men are going to ignore you. Do you know why? Because they can. There is nothing that you can do about this. You have the scared chiwawa syndrome going on here. And since we live in a civilized society you needn't worry about being assualted and having your woman whisked away. But if we didn't, you would be meat and she would be elsewhere. Luckily that isn't the case, so just ignore it and grow a pair. Good luck!
  15. JustNormal
    If your step-mother is trying to use your father's money to buy a house- that's a serious betrayal. That could blow away 10 years of his life in a thing called bankruptcy and would be grounds for divorce. Your father sounds like he should be protecting himself right now with an attorney. She is making a power grab on his dime. There is nothing you can do about this but be aware of the struggle going on- and don't let her use you to get what she wants. I don't know what her problem is, but if she is hell-bent on adding a house size debt to your father, then it was probably over a long time ago and you were just not aware of it. I hate these situations, but there is nothing you can do. This is a trespass that destroys not only a mariage but his life and your dad is right to protect himself. I'm sorry for your loss. But there is little that you as a daughter can do here besides confronting her repeatedly about why she wants to buy a house with your father's money all of a sudden. A house isn't a joke, and she knows that. Which means she's trying to hurt you and your father permanently. Bankruptcy laws have gotten much worse over the years. You don't want to have your father get into any kind of over-exteneded position- especially with a damn house. All I can say is that this is bizarre and that this is a suicide move.
  16. JustNormal
    Everyone has choice, which means that nobody can be called a victim. The world is what YOU make it- not him. Do what it is in your power to do to make sure you don't sink your future into a losing investment. You are old enough to be aware of your surroundings and act accordingly. Don't get all emotional with this. Use your head and your heart. God didn't make people with both so they ignore one and focus on the other. You would be essentially crippling yourself to avoid reality. And good luck to the both of you. I hope I'm proven wrong about my feeling. Not enough love in the world ya know.
  17. JustNormal
    If you in any way share the same DNA then back off. If not, then go for it. You don't want your kids to come out looking Amish, trust me.
  18. JustNormal
    I don't think you should leave him because of financial strain. If that was a condition of marriage, then it's not like any marriage vows I'm familiar with. As for the affection part- you and he are under strain. That lustful happy feeling ain't gonna be around much until you work through it. The jist is this. You married him. You made this promise with your eyes wide open. And the money that his family borrowed was done with your knowledge, so I don't see the issue. If he cheats on you or jacks with your finances behind your back then that may be grounds for a divorce/annulment. But unless I missed a piece, which is probable, I don't see those reasons. Marriage is work and it's hard. I've never met anyone that didn't have serious problems that they had to overcome while married. It's a dark sucky place but it's a matter of what is your word is worth. Will you stay the course or back out when life sucks. It's a measure of both of you. Choose carefully. Being unhappy or not lubbing him anymore isn't grounds for dissolving a marriage in any religion/culture.
  19. JustNormal
    He is what he is.. perhaps. And I do hope it works out for the best. As it stands now you have no data- only a few irritations which can be explained away. His answer if you confront would be something like,"I didn't want to upset you because I know how you are." That's the typical bull * * * *ter line. And it works on most women because they want to believe it. I don't know what his motivation is- but I know a guy that keeps in touch with all of his ex's is like no guy I know. I don't hang out with ... anyway. You are dating a boy, not a man. He may grow up in a few years if he isn't a professional bs'er. If he is.. man, those guys irk me. You can smell it a mile away and clock them in a about 15 minutes. Here's another strategy. Not as intrusive and creepy. If you have any mature and intelligent guy friends that you can trust, you should introduce him to that friend and leave them alone for a bit. He will be able to see it in no time. You will have to leave them alone though. You can't be in the same building. If he is what you suspect the act will continue if you are in the vicinity. It's a sixth sense guys have that women don't. On a side note, we also have something called gaydar that women don't have. You can actually feel it if you're a guy. Women never understand this, but again, from a mile away you can spot it even if they look like everyone else. I don't know why it is, but it is. Use it.
  20. JustNormal
    What the hell. ... I hope you mean lust. Being sexually active during pregnancy isn't the easiest thing in the world to be. But love is unconditional. She's having your child so you don't love her anymore? I'm not going to say anything constructive about this so I'm just going to hold my tongue.
  21. JustNormal
    Hmm.. So you demand action rather than words. How odd. Just kidding. Well, sounds like this guy may not be as innocent and honest as you first submitted. He sounds like a professional bull * * * *ter in fact. And you are around my age right? You know it takes 6 months before you have a clue as to what's going on. Nuts of any type can't seem to hold it together for longer than 6 months. So, you could ride it out. But it doesn't sound like you want to. And it doesn't sound like you should if it's only been a month or so. If it's like this now, and he's already "job searching" for his next gig, then you might want to consider cutting bait. You may have hit a real snag. I don't like tossing out the 'dump them' thing without real cause. We need more good people together. But this isn't looking like its going to work very well- even if the ex-g/f thing was an honest friend contact. I can personally tell you that I don't keep in contact with my ex's. If I liked them I would still be with them. You might want to get nasty and talk to the ex about him Get the skinny on why they broke up and who did the breaking. It might be very enlightening. Although it's a little creepy, it may save you a good bit of time. Depends on how much time you want to waste finding out if the well is dry.
  22. JustNormal
  23. JustNormal
    Haha... If you thought that wasn't the final, then you graduated already.
  24. JustNormal
    If this is the truth then don't worry about it. When I was his age.. well, actually alot younger.. 18 I think, I got fired from a retail store for sleeping in/not getting to work on time. But it's a retail store that didn't pay enough to cover the cost of gas to get there. I didn't care. In this situation, he has a job dad gave him. He really doesn't have to worry about consequences unless his father meats them out. So.. you should leave it alone. Not all jobs require you to be a 9-5 slave. Mine for instance- I haven't seen 9-5 for 10 years. Of course when you guys are home watching some crappy tv show, I'm at work till 3 am. My job is project based. His may be too, or may be it doesn't matter. Just leave the kid alone. You don't want to turn on the mommy switch in his head. Or.. maybe you do. I have also dated younger women than myself- by nearly 9 years- but you have to check their maturity. If life has been extraordinarily tough for them, they typically reach a higher maturity level. They take nothing for granted. They aren't wanting to "meet new people" or whatever the * * * * it is. They are more grounded in reality. I can't deal with newbs. They suck. It sounds like you are somewhere in between. Just leave him alone and ride it out. If it ain't hurting either of you, then .. it ain't hurting either of you. I suspect it's more your pride stinging isn't it?
  25. JustNormal
    You are confusing lust with love. Money is earned. Trust is earned. Love is earned. Lust is not. And the above line is a cop out. You are the only one that controls your impulses. You are a man, not a vegetable. You have a conscience and insight and thought. Use the head above your shoulders first when you meet a girl. The rest will follow in a healthy way. As it is now, you are attaching your * * * * to your emotional worth. That is dangerous and stupid and will get you in a load of trouble. Stop it.
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