Cavalera

Truly in love, probably never. Have had quite a few crushes, however. The first one I can remember was when I was 12.

Well, last night I spent a couple of hours again with that girl. It wasn't anything date-related, but we chatted a bit. All that's been going through my mind this morning is "all you said to her last night was wrong." A lot of small things - like we were talking about work and I somhow happened to mention my income. I don't even make a lot money, lol, but somehow I think it made me look like an @ss. All it does is add to the weight of knowing that I probably already stand no chance with her. I can't help but always analyze the probability of anything happening with a girl. Like trying to recall every guy she hangs around with, how much affection she shows towards other guys and how their chances compare to mine. The conclusion is usually not in my favor. How can I get past the fact that there are like 50 other guys that she's aquainted with who are more sociable and better looking, and so stand much better chance with her? Whether I'll hear from her again I don't know. She has my number. EDIT: (damn, can never get everything in one post..) Btw, I never used to have these problems as a kid. I remember that in my pre-teen years I had a ton of friends, and was far from a quiet, introverted kid. Thanks for your suggestions, Haven. Maybe I do simply need to learn how to communicate with girls, and not necessarily always expect a relationship. There are quite a few helpful ideas I saw on this forum, definitely gonna try at least some of them.

You've pretty much described me here... Not to mention that after I do manage to say something I thought was OK at the moment, I often endup secondguessing myself a minute later on whether I should have said it or just kept my mouth shut. I noticed that I become quite a bit more outgoing when I drink. Or maybe I just can't assess my own stupidity when I'm drunk, I don't know. Either way, drinking any time you anticipate to be in a social situation is probably a straight path to alcoholism, so that's not something I would do.

I don't talk much at all during dates. Not that I don't want to - I wish I could make convos with girls more two-sided, I just can't find anything to say. In such a situation, whatever I will say will probably be stupid anyway. I guess i'm a "good listener," especially with girls I really like. It's just that this is a hard quality to display. Seems they get bored long before I ever get a chance to show that I have been paying attention to what they have been talking about.

I know it's tough.. I didn't see my grandfather for almost 6 years before he died. He lived half the world away. I regretted not seeing him for so long, of course, but sometimes you just can't visit your relatives as often as you like. You can never expect things like this, so don't blame yourself.

Thanks for your replies. Haven - You're right. I guess love wasn't really the correct way to describe it. Whatever it is though, it's damn hard to get over. A healthy relationship would probably prevent that from happening, but I've all but given up hope for that.. If I could just figure out a way to stop developing feelings for all those girls in the first place... Wish I had a vial of that Prozium just about now (if you've seen "Equilibrium"). As for the whole personality thing.. I really dont know whats up with that. I have no clue how to approach working on that.. Therapy might work but being a poor college student I can't really afford it. Nicorette - I think I made my intentions quite clear to her last night. She must've picked it up. The best I can describe her response is that she ignored it. Managore - Yea, I guess it could be a lot worse... Still sucks having to go through this every other month though...

I'm 21 years, and I have never been in a relationship; nothing even resembling a relationship. Sad, isn't it? I know. The problem is it takes very little for me to deeply fall for someone. Every time it leads nowhere, of course. It's almost as if I can't have any prolonged contact with an attractive woman of approximately my age without become seriously attached. Most recently, 2 days ago. I knew her for like a day when I realized that I already became very deeply emotionally attached to her.. Can't get her out of my mind.. At the same time I realize that there are no prospects for anything ever happening. I have no personality or sense of humor whatsoever. I can't strike a conversation with a stranger, and even when i'm talking to a person who actually wants to talk to me, I rarely have anything to contribute. I think I'm a nice guy. I never refuse to help anyone. But I realize that being nice is not nearly enough... So I have no misgivings about the chances I have with her. Don't even know whether she's single or not.. not that it would change the way I feel. This has happened before.. many times, with different women. All it does is leave me with a profound sense of worthlessness. Each time it makes me realize how incomplete my life is and how I am absolutely powerless to change anything because there is nothing I can do about my personality. I hate these stages. Each time it leaves me barely able to function, dragging myself through each day for maybe a week until I get over it... maybe a week.. maybe longer. This girl I met 2 days ago.. i may not see her for a little while.. but I will sooner or later.. and even if I do more or less get over it by then, I know it will throw me right back to where I am right now. I have no idea how to prevent this from happening or what to do. Right now I just really felt like sharing.