lovebites

Yeah, theres no easy way. And once you got muscle if you want to keep it you have to keep the same diet and excersises.

EDIT: I also remember the memberships last for a year....so i guess that says something!!! ....oops didnt mean to add that in a new post, sorry!

haha, well why doesnt someone try it and we'll find out?! then if it works ill join up and if it doesnt ill have saved some money!! hehe. If you are already slim, not too skinny, after a few months of eating the correct foods at the right time and good ab work outs i think its possible to get better defition, though of course everyone is different....but i would definitely agree they exagerate...i mean, i never joined up to anyhting ever that didnt exagerate....otherwise i wouldnt join up!! hehe

If i had the money and effort I would definitely do this: link removed Been so tempted to sign up. Try it out.

This is a really good question, i agree that wieght is definitely a touchy subject! ...i do the same thing with other things though, my girlfriend has this smart black soft/fluffy jacket she sometimes wears out for a meal, not often. The first time she put it on i thought it looked too broadshouldered for her (shes really slim) and looked like an older womans sort of jacket... Anyway, she said, "do you like this?", as she put it on...Now i never lie to my g/f, but i didnt like the jacket tbh, but i could tell that she did and it made her feel more 'elegant'...so despite what i thought i said 'yes'...i didnt really like that jacket at all!! BUT she DOES look absoloutely great in anything, so it wouldnt really make any difference...and i didnt want to stop her fomr wearing something she liked...anyway she wore it...and shes worn it a few times since and ive grown to like it!! As far as telling your partner the truth...definitely ALWAYS with one exception...when it comes to 'looks' of sorts. Everyone is touchy about their looks, even models!! If its a garish shirt thats far too big you might say something, but othewise...always flatter. I think we should make our other half feel good... Thats my personal opinion anyway!!

Aw, i can understand how that sux! I've not been in the same situation exactly, but i know how you feel etc. I'm sure youve told him that you wish you could go, which is fair enough...but beyond that I wouldnt say anything! If youll be 21 in a few weeks i cant see any real problem, its just wiating it out!! It does suck massivley, but in a little time it wont be a problem. The last thing you want to do is make a problem when there isnt essentially a problem (in the relationship i mean). Youve just got to think that he is happy, and that should be most important to you (and sounds like it is!!) And soon you can go anywhere/everywhere with him at times like that! When you feel like you might get upset (which is understandable i think) you just got to keep telling yourself hes happy, he wants you to be there, he has spent time with you that day, and soon it wont matter!!! I presume he has expressed his desire for you to be there?! -lovebites

Thanks very much for the replies!! Its funny because I have always let myself be judged and analysed from the perspective of how other people *might* see me... The whole concept of liking myself and accepting myself, and what really matters is what I think of myself, is a new thing!! ...i dont like the idea of waiting whilst my self confidence grows over time!!! I've been long enough without it!! I want to have it while im still really young, because i know people often do become more confident as they got older anyway. I'll look for this 'be happy no matter what' book!! Thanks! I must admit, I actually downloaded some 'hypnosis' mp3's, one was building self esteem, the other was feel more attractive as a person! They're not the sort of hypnonsis where I dont know whats going on...more than anything just what is said is helpful as to how to get better self-image etc. I'm a Christian, like a said, and I dont really 'agree' with hypnosis as far as someone else controlling your mind, but I dont believe these are controlling my mind directly. I want to be the best person I can be so i only see it as help along that path! Thanks again!!! -lovebites

Beautiful quote. Yes everyone does screw up from time to time, no one is perfect, but if you really love someone then you should find in them everything you need...! -lovebites

hahahaha, yeah i know lol! i guess thats why i dont need to care!

I cant imagine what its like to have someone you love so much cheat on you... I think everyone has given great advice... If you love someone so much it is so difficult to move on... No one is not loved, and there is a point to everyones life! Once youve tried these other things a little try taking the view that 'hey im single' ...you know theres always that really annoying expression "plenty more fish in the sea" you may feel like you had the best fish...but if you were meant to be then you would be!!! That means there's even BETTER fish out there waiting just for YOU...a fish that will treat you just right, and you wont just feel happy the majority of the time, youll feel happy all the time! "No one is worth your tears, and the one who is wont make you cry!!" It may not seem like it right now but there is another guy out there for you. NEVER ever think about giving up. You can beat this, dont let someone who cheated on you get the better of you!! Really hope you get through this! -lovebites P.S. ...one guy who loves you very much and even if you dont believe in him, he believes in you...and thats Jesus!! Hes helped me through everything I've been through.

Yeah, thats what always bugged me, that other guys have no respect. I dont 'look' at other women (ive got all i need!!) but if i did i wouldnt do it to someone who is already taken!! I guess thats what bothered me most... Glad you understand anyway.

Hey, Im pretty new here and have posted a topic in relationships "best girlfriend ever but somethings..." which is about stuff about me, not her. I got such a great response so quickly and thought I'd post a new topic to help me deal with issues that have become very apparent in the recent months of my and have come to light in that previous topic! I have a had a HUGE lack of self-confidence and self-esteem all my life, bringing in turn great insecurity about myself with it!! I think the three tie together. If your the confident type you may not know what it feels like to have such a lack of these 3 things!! 90% of the time i feel crap...and its because of those 3 things!!! Thats 90% of my life...the only time when im having a good time, is if i really am having a good time...if you know what i mean?! You know if im walking down the street or out for an evening im not enjoying life as much as i could be....i have thoughts buzzing in my head like "i wonder if anyones looking at me, if they are they proly think im weird, or maybe no one even notices me, i hope my hair is ok, and im not walking funny" etc etc!! I just wana be able to walk tall, not thinking about all that stuff AT ALL and knowing that i look good, or that im just sort of person youd want to talk to...cause thats what confidence gives you i believe...?! My g/f is quite confident and finds it easy to make conversation with anyone....and that makes her much more likeable. I'm only saying my g/f cause i know her so well!! Its the same with anyone who is this way. Problem is...how do you get to that point...?? Its not that i want to be liked by everyone...i dont know anyone who doesnt like me...and thats the funny thing, even though that i still have a lack of confidence and insecurity.. To everyone who has confidence.....how do i beat this????!!!!! I hope i've explained this well enough. Bascially i need to know how to train my mind to be a more confident person who can appreciate my own qualities. thanks for reading! -lovebites p.s. from the pervius topic i started i did learn a lot and have already started a little to grow in self confidence and esteem.

Thanks, im really trying to change my outlook and my mind. I knew i needed to deal with it but didnt know how, i just needed to hear it from other people! And Yeah, i have very low self esteem and am insecure about myself... But i am really trying, like i said feels like ive changed over night. I really want to feel more confident about myself...and i wouldnt have said this yesterday but I feel worth it, and i know id be even more attractive if i were!!! I never have had a problem getting girls...but i've spent more than half my life hating myself... In my early teens, one day when i had a bad mood swing my mom said "i think we must have picked up the wrong child from the maternity ward" to my face....obviously implying someone else had their real child and i couldnt be theres because of such bad behaviour...(i am a christian with a christian upbringing) and that left a scar... Thanks for everyones posts because they have all helped, cant tell you how much i appreciate this, my mind has been screwing up about this stuff for a long time and I really feel like ive just released it all and so much tension has gone!! I think i will start a new topic in Peronsal Growth about self confidence, self esteem and insecurity etc! I love my girlfriend too bits, shes the best thing ever, and whats great is she feels exactly the same way about me...now ive dealt with these issues I think i can enjoy our love and relationship even more!!

haha momene thats funny. Ok, i think maybe some of you are a little unclear. But I am not scared at ALL that my girlfriend will be taken away from me, im not worried she will cheat on me or anything like that. I never have been worried about that!! I dont see other guys checking her out as competition either. She values me too much. Secondly as far as me being short? I cant be 5' 11' then, im not good with measurments! Unless you are close to 7 foot i would not consider me short at all. So you can be blunt all you like but I'm not short, i've always been one of the tallest in my class, year, work etc. I'm just not a giant. Anyway, almost literally over night I've dealt with the problem thanks to the replies here. So thanks for your help. -lovebites P.S. To be honest, telling me to 'grow a pair' is not what i would call 'help', and if you are concerned about the size or absense of other peoples testicals i would either consider you a doctor, homosexual, or have issues about the size and absense of your own.

Any guy would love it, because its a rare treat!! Well, it would be for me. lol. I agree with the above!! I mean, really, whats the worse that can happen?!?! and thats the way you got to look at it when youre working up the guts.