Alpha J

Sorry if my original post seemed to be generalizing women, I dont mean all women just I guess the majority of the ones I have met at my age (23), but to my defense i am real mature for my age and that may prove to be an issue also in college

I find it odd sometimes, and it is irking me all day today. I have been in 3 relationships prior to my current one which is dwindling. All of my previous girlfriends have broken up with me over the whole "I want to see what else is out there". But they always come back and say "you were the only guy who really cared about me" and they tell me that I am a good man and they want me back. Why is it that when women break up with "good men" then they see what is out there (despite countless warnings) then come running back like nothing happened?

I am friends with my ex from a couple of years back. But it takes a while for that to happen for some people. At first we said we were friends (we were both single after the breakup for a long time) but when we wanted to hang out we got physical again. But now that she has someone that she is happy with and eventhough I am going through a relationship with a confused woman, we are good friends. We often check-up on eachother to make sure eachother is doing ok and we wish eachother hapiness. It took a while for us to get to that point though.

If you dont feel that you want to deal with it, then dont let things go on any further than they have. An STD is a serious subject and you must ask yourself, is this current man worth the risk? How did he contract it? Was his previous sex life questionable?

There is no right way to do it. Every woman is different and I mean EVERY woman. What works with one wont work with the other one. If you are considering getting into a relationship with someone. Here are some things I suggest. Make sure she is emotionally ready to be in a relationship (dont be the rebound guy, you may get hurt in the future) Be caring, considerate Listen to her Compromise when necessary Love her and all her faults Do not try and change her into something she is not Try new things every now and then to spice the relationship up If you have anything and I mean ANYTHING on your mind that bothers you, let her know, dont keep it bottled up because it will explode later.

Dont be paranoid. She is with you for a reason. Just roll with it and continue to love her. If she has a "type" and you love and cherish her, then you can prove to her that her "type" is you and not based on the color of someone's skin

From being on here a few days, I have learned that sometimes being a nice guy and doing the right things will not always garauntee that you will have a loving relationship......it takes two to tango. I have learned that some people just generally dont care about one another's feelings and at times they can be selfish as the devil.

Well, this may be the classic case of the difference between men and women. You see, sometimes us men.......we arent really big on the whole romance stuff when it comes to the bedroom or really anything leading up to it. Sometimes a man wants to get right down to business with out all the build-up. He may not be looking at you as only a sex object, but since both of your work schedules dont leave alot of time for miscellaneous activities, he finds it more convenient to do the "thang" at home whenever he can. That is what he wants. However, if you want to go out and do things like dinner or the movies, you have every right to tell him that. Also if you dont like the porn, tell him and let him know its a problem for you. Dont sacrifice your hapiness. Talk to him about how you feel more. And if it comes down to it, hold out on the sex until he starts listening to you. If the sex is so important to him, let him know that some things are important to you, just as sex is for him. If he loves you and cares for you, he will listen, you just have to let him know how serious you are.

First, you need to let go of your ex. If you want to have a relationship with this new guy, you need to either forgive or forget your ex. The fact that you hold so much disgust towards your ex kinda says that there wasnt any closure or that you are carrying around potential "scars (not physical)" that may effect your ability to have a new relationship. I am not saying leave the new guy alone, but you have to let go of that hate for your ex, especially if the new guy looks so much like him. And also, realize that their looks may be the same, but they are two totally different people.

Deargod is right on the money with the description. But please if you are looking for someone to be your fallback guy/girl, let them know that is what they are there for.

Some families and cultures are different. Some people see death not as a time of mourning, but as a time to celebrate for the person has moved on to be with God and it should be a joyous time for they will no longer be in pain. I know my family, we have the whole funeral and everyone crying and such when someone dies, but after that we try and find the positives in it and have a good time with eachother in honor of the person who passed away.

Well from your last post, she is playing games, at least with that whole "no means yes". I dont know how far you want to pursue her, but I hate it when people do that because us men, we dont read minds. And especially with society today, when a man hears "no", to be safe that means NO. Tell her that if she wants you to do something or if she wants something she needs to tell you Yes if it means Yes. All the mind games arent healthy for a relationship.

I have been through this. I am not a big fan of people telling their parents about their marital issues. Sure, sometimes we need some advice from our parents because, hey, they have been through it before right? But what we dont notice is that when we talk about relationship issues or marital issues with our parents, we tend not to tell the whole story. We sometimes give only our side of the story so that makes the other person look like an * * * * *. I am in a relationship that is on the rocks right now because my gf is confused about certain things in our relationship. But she told her mother about all the issues and her mother had nothing but negative things to say. But you need to try and get your wife to deal with your issues "in house" before talking to her mom because eventually, she will depend on her mother's advice everytime these things happen and this will become the norm. Do you both go to church or a bit religious? If so, see about going to marital counseling at a near-by chruch. Counseling isnt always for those with severe problems, it can help you both put things into perspective and learn to cope with things better. Give it a try if you guys can, you can make it work, it will just take time and patience!

Kinda late for me to reply to this thread, but hey look at it this way, you both still love eachother right? As long as you both love eachother, you will find some way through it. Here are some things you can do to pass the time: Go out with friends Catch up with family or cousins you havent seen in a while Try some online computer games (this one does wonders for me sometimes, met some great friends in game) Go to the gym or play some sports Watch these movies (Redneck Comedy Tour, Kings of Comedy) Things not to do: DO NOT sit alone in the house DO NOT listen to slow love songs or sad songs And trust me, do not consume any alcohol, it makes those dipressing feelings worse

Yes, good call. Lilu, distinguish between "wants" and "needs". You may "want" the type of men that you have been dating, but what you "need" in your life in terms of a relationship may be totally different. Try to differentiate between love and lust, we often get those things extremely confused.