Kevin T

That's true!

That's tough... they're really not. lol I can learn to fake it though. Considering how I just ask for the number after a few minutes of chatting, I am hardly in a position to feel disappointed or let down if one happens to say no. Can't get hung up on someone you've just met.

I heard having sex in water (i.e. a pool) is potentially dangerous since it can push water up further inside the woman than it should, damaging the uterus, and other reproductive organs. A sex specialist said that once. lol

I think if you were to get married and actually have sex, your opinion would drastically change. Call me crazy.

I would like to know why you don't ever want to have sex. What exactly makes you feel this way? Have you always felt this way?

That's not a good attitude, Mr. Puff. Have you learned nothing from this drawn-out topic? You have to believe in yourself! If you don't, no one else will either. Cliched, but so true.

How did I react? *big smile* Congratulations! And God bless you both!

I was thinking about my own life... this thread seems like it was written specifically for me. There is so much that I refrain from doing just out of fear. Fear of embarrassment, fear of being alone, fear of rejection. Time to stop that nonsense, once and for all. I used to have a deeply-etched fear of driving (before I learned.) thereforeeee, I never wanted to learn how to drive. But once I actually took lessons and practiced, I was no longer the least bit afraid. I think fear of the unknown holds me back more than anything... since most things I fear are things I lack experience with. So the best way to overcome fear, is to face it, head on, and stick with it until you are no longer afraid.

Aha, excellent! Just wondering. This is fairly new to me, so I wasn't 100% sure. I didn't really think it was a bad thing either, but I needed some positive reinforcement before I take any action. I don't necessarily want to be seen as a player, but then again, who cares what people say, right? If it's socially acceptable, then what's the harm? It's not like I'm going out with them just for sex. It will clearly be in a dating context, not as friends, but in the beginning stages, what's the harm with dating a few different girls at once? Clearly none! (I just didn't want to seem sleazy by asking out various girls at once.) Does anyone object to this sort of thing? Just curious.

I have an ethical/moral question for you good people today: Do you think it's wrong or unethical to get various numbers from women at once? For instance, you meet an attractive girl, get her number, then later on, meet someone else you fancy, then get her number... and so on? Do you see this as immoral or unethical behaviour? Or is it perfectly fine, good clean fun, since after all, there's nothing wrong with simply getting a girl's number and going on a date? What do you think?

You're absolutely right. Confidence is huge. I used to be really confident. I even had women tell me they thought I was "cocky" (so maybe I was TOO confident lol). In any event, that dwindled and brought me to feel very down on myself and my appearance. But I thought over what the ladies here (and some of the guys lol) said about my looks. And it's clear I was being overly hard on myself for no good reason. It's not like people are going to reply back... "OMG! You're so hideous... yeck!" But I don't honestly think a bunch of random strangers on the internet would lie to me either. Call it intuition, but I trust them more than that. (Most of you, anyway.) And you're so right; I need to work on the inside too. I said it myself, good looks will only help initially, after that, it's up to the inside to keep her. I know that. (I also think I've got a lot to offer, personality-wise, so I feel that's not a problem... aside from bolstering a bit more confidence.) My confidence was high when I thought I was attractive, but it went down when I started thinking I was ugly. Needless to say, if I'm not really ugly, then I have no reason NOT to have an air of confidence about me! I suppose I have nothing to lose by doing that with women I meet. I'd like to get to the stage where I can do that with ease. I probably should stop bashing my looks anyway. I'm probably only annoying God by complaining over His handiwork, so I doubt if He appreciates that. But if I take what you (and some of the kind others) have said seriously, then I have no reason to be down myself over my looks anyway. Once again, thanks.

As though someone slapped me upside the head: After reading my last post, I guess I'd better shut up. My inability to even define what kind of woman I find attractive; that pretty much proves that beauty is almost entirely subjective. Sure, there are some commonalities, but the number of variables are too many to count. I could list characteristics I like, but even those are on a person by person basis. So I can say no more about looks mattering entirely, since they depend on the eyes of the beholder. I hate being wrong. Whatever. More than a few lovely ladies were kind enough to compliment me on my appearance, and for that, I thank you all. And if there are people out there who find me attractive, then there should be someone out there who I find attractive, who feels the same, and all I have to do is find her. Shouldn't be that hard, I hope.

What do you mean, what "type?" I don't classify women into types. There are those I find attractive and those I do not. That is the only distinction. (Maybe beauty really IS subjective, because I can't think of women as "types" and categories by themselves.) It goes on an individual by individual basis. Post some pictures and I'll give my opinion. Honestly. That's the only way I can give you my opinion. Any woman that I am attracted to (if she has given me some sign that she may be interested) will have got my attention and interest. There is no type for that.

Lower them, you mean?

I had balls enough to post pictures I didn't want to. I removed them now, but at least I did something many people don't have the guts to do. Let's see... we can't count a recent date with someone I met on the net, can we? (I wouldn't.) So the last time, would be... in June of last year. I think I waited too long to take action with her, so she lost interest by the time I acted. And I've done that before too. But I learned from my mistake. If I were to come accross someone I liked again - who has shown at least some interest in me - I'd make a move and ask her out right away; the same day even. I just don't get interest from anyone I'd date, as a rule. I go for the women I'm attracted to, whatever you wish to call them. I don't date women I'm not attracted to. It's really as simple as that. "Average" is an incredibly hard concept to define, so I can't honestly say I'm disregarding the "average" women who show interest.

Yeah, I was real eager to post the photo. Took 13 pages and a bit of coaxing on a few people's part, and even now, I regret it. And while it would be nice for people to disagree with me, I wasn't expecting it, nor did it really happen anyway for the most part. People in this thread are honestly starting to annoy me now...

Quite right. I should have just posted a topic with my picture in it and asked women what they thought.

My dad is 5'11", 135 lbs. at the age of 59. Given my genetics, I really don't see it happening. I'd say the chances are next to none, in fact. Ugliness is not nearly as "subjective" as some of you claim. Sure, there are cultural differences and there will always be some slight individual variations, but for the most part, beauty is far less subjective than some would have us to believe. And true, your opinion of your looks is subjective. But others tend to have a more stable view of what they deem attractive, and what they do not. It rarely fluctuates as much as our own view of ourselves may. And how "you" feel when everyone else feels differently is meaningless. Since when did we become so arrogant that the only thing that matters in this world is our own view? In many ways, you sound a lot like me. But you're right about one thing: I surely have more faith in myself than you do in yourself. In fact, at times, I have too much faith in myself. But, the reason why I seldomly let that become pride, confidence, arrogance or whatever, is because I realize that just because I think I'm something great, doesn't necessarily make it so, nor does it mean anyone else does. So, if that's true, then what have I got to feel so boastful about? I read every reply. But I also said that I would NOT protest a word which was spoken by the females, good or bad. So, I will continue to remain silent on what was said. It's true, I don't know what half of them look like, nor do I know if they spoke the truth or simply out of pity (or maybe just to shut me up!) Nor does it matter. I'm not even sure why I bothered posting such a thing. But what's done, is done. I wouldn't necessarily say, however, that none of their comments made me feel better, though. I'm not THAT down on myself, that a compliment doesn't have any effect on me. If you think that is the case, you may well be more pessimistic than I. Sure, people may value me for what's inside... but is it wrong to desire people to value me for both the exterior AND interior? I don't think so. Uh-huh... Blunt and rude are very closely related. I consider someone insulting my personality a very personal, and rude, attack. So, while you may not think it's rude, I certainly do. Eww... I'd have to pass on dating a stripper, thanks. Maybe people are lying to you, about your looks? That's one possibility; I don't know. My smile could only serve to turn people to stone. Not exactly an ideal first impression on a girl. I've never been good at smiling (especially being the miserable grouch that I am), and mine has never been an attractive feature of mine. Yeesh... I used to portray confidence. But it got me nowhere (why? Because looks matter in the initial stages of attraction more than people wish to admit). Personality will keep a girl, and may even help you win her over, but that initial first impression does help if you are good looking... and hurts if you are not. That is my entire point. Why it has been drawn out, needlessly, I don't know. I'm not saying unattractive guys have no chance, just a much lower chance than the good looking guy. All things being equal (confidence, wit, chamr, etc.), the girls would go for the better looking guy first. That is all I meant. I've done the break thing before, friend. Nine months on hiatus. It was the quite boring and tedius. I have no intention of going back to that nonsense again. "You want a mate? No problem, just stop looking!" lol Sorry, tried that. Didn't work. Uh-oh, the North American, ego-centric "me first" individualism is returning... I'd better brace myself here. Ugh. And what kind of attitude walks around thinking, "Well, I can't get attached to anyone, lest they leave me...?" Horrible. I thought I was cynical and cautious...! And I shouldn't have to move just to meet a woman, that's a bit much. If I did what you suggested the next time I saw a good looking female, she'd give me a dirty look, tell me to drop dead and walk off. This type of thing may work for you (a self-proclaimed attractive guy), but if I tried it, I'm pretty sure I would get the reaction I just mentioned. Certainly am depressed. I think I said that on page 1 or 2. I'm not asking for opinions anymore. People keep giving them, and I will respond to them. I won't be rude and pretend they didn't say anything, when they did. What? I’m not allowed to express my opinion, in regard to what others say? Sorry about that. The last time I asked for opinions was in regard to my pictures. I got a few, and that's that. I have nothing more to say about that. Because I was specifically talking about me. I have money and I'm reasonably intelligent (though certainly no genuis by any means). Regular is bad. Average is not particularly attractive. Maybe I chose the wrong wording when I said "ugly?" I do tend to use a lot of hyperbole, so it was a bit of an overstatement. I guess I should've worded this topic... "No hope for the UNATTRACTIVE, shy guy..." Looks count for a lot, but they're not everything. Getting out of the house and talking to people would be a good step for us both. For me, I've lost all motivation to try. I hope you don't do the same.

Hey, I know exactly where you are coming from. The women I meet that I find attractive, don't like me, while the ones that do like me... I don't like. It's a tough situation to be in. I won't tell you to "not let it bother you," because I can relate to what you're saying.

Dreams and fantasy are all that keep me going. Who is to say that is somehow "wrong?"

I've been single for years now. You'll get used to it.

Nah, it never changes. Metabolism. But I've learned to accept it. I have no desire to change in that regard. I do what I can, with what I have, and that's good enough for me.

That's too bad. I have no intention of changing. Oh well. The link's on page 13 of my topic here.

Go look at my pictures. I'm not so sure about the 'good' part, Dako. But I definitely look about 18 or so. I get IDed (in Canada legal age is 19) all the time.

Yeah, you're probably right. I hate it now, but in ten years I'll love it. Hell, when I'm 40, I can date 18 year olds and not even get dirty looks for it! lol And being my age, I would tend to date younger women. I typically am attracted to the 18-20 range. I tend to seldom go for girls my own age or older. In fact, I never go for older women. The thing is, it's all genetics. My parents both look a good ten years younger than their actual ages. I guess I should be thankful and shut up. Quite right, quite right. Dating younger chicks rocks. lol