Kevin T

So, even after all that work, you're still the same insecure person you were before, eh? That's rough. That's why I'm so reluctant to put my fist to the plow.

Sorry Ziggy, I didn't see your reply after the last woman's. I meant absolute truth along the lines of God, that sort of thing. Not necessarily how you interpretted it. I'd like to believe things can change, and who knows? Maybe they will; I don't know. I just had an awful feeling they won't. That's all. Yeah, it's hard to believe in yourself if you don't see a reason to. That's one of my biggest problems, for sure. But I think it's ridiculous that guys like us have to struggle, tooth and nail just to get something that comes so easily to the better looking guys. It's ridiculous, if you ask me. Anyway, I'll PM you a pic shortly.

Don't quit your day job. Honestly, the lack of compassion by some people here astounds me. But whatever. I already stated I didn't want sympathy. But maybe if someone actually provided some USEFUL advice, then we'd be in business. Telling me to change something I can't and arguing with me about something I know I'm right about, is pointless.

What irony... You say, "The only way you can get what you want, is to stop wanting it." Well, I guess we can be certain I'll never get what I want then, huh?

Then I completely agree that they need to stop that nonsense. It's far from attractive, in my sight.

I whole-heartedly believe in absolute truth. You'll never break me of that faith. Sorry. I am very sensitive. My feelings get hurt very easily. Do you not call that "sensitive?" Because that's what it is. I do, however, see your progress. Come back to me after you've gotten the girl you wanted, then I'll listen. Heh, just you wait... In a short while, I'll have silenced every one of you naysayers when I show you a recent pic. lol Be patient.

No, I liked being with someone. I miss that closeness and all that good junk. What's wrong with that? I'll tell you: Nothing. It's constantly seeing beautiful girls and being reminded that I'm alone, yet there are countless girls I'd kill to have a shot with. It's having that rubbed in my face that depresses me. It's also seeing lovey-dovey couples walking down the street, holding hands, kissing, all that PDA nonsense. It rouses envy for me. I think, "What the hell?! I used to have that!" Then I just feel all the worse. So isolation is the key to happiness for me.

I agree with the part about run-way models. If they starve themselves to be that way, I wish they'd stop! If not, however, don't revile them... because it ain't their fault they have fast metabolism!

Charley, I only speak the truth. People may revile me for it, but I call things as I see them. Why sugarcoat the truth? It only gives people false hope. I look remarkably young for my age, which wouldn't be a problem since I tend to go for those around 19 or 20... but they clearly don't go for my type. Thus the problem ensues. Hey, don't worry about your frame. I know plenty of guys who dig girls with a large behind. Besides, if that's you in your avatar, you've got no reason to be the least bit self-conscious. Anyhow, I hardly think I've conquered my inner demons about my appearance. But at least I talk a good game.

I know what you mean, but most of my good friends are all married family men, who hang out with their wives and families, not at the local pub. I have past acquaintances from work that drink like fish, but I have no desire to go to a bar (and I meant, I'd be looking for potential mates, wherever I go).

Ellie, I would much rather have the harsh truth than a comforting lie, to live by. Is deceiving ourselves really the only way to be happy?

I would prefer someone who doesn't drink (or if she must, that it be absolutely minimal). Drunken antics don't sit well with me. lol

I already covered this in my first post (though I am grateful for your advice), but I don't drink. This is one problem right there. I'm not into going to bars or clubs at all. I wish I were, then there would be little problem. Anyway, I'll PM you a pic shortly. I was able to get a few new pics taken with my cell phone, so the quality may suck, but it'll give you a good idea of what we're dealing with here.

Ellie, reality happened. It ambushed me with a sneak attack from behind, when I least expected it. I'm fine as long as I don't go out. Like today, was supposed to go out, but I slept in instead. Now I don't have to be put into an even worse mood (which is good).

At this point, rarely at all. I've been depressed, and have lost motivation to do anything really. It's like, "What's the point?"

I have news for you, friend: Read the original post. Then read the topic title. I think I made it abundantly clear that it was both looks AND shyness (in addition to bein sensitive and a christian) that are all working against me. You can tell me whatever you like. Either way, I care not. (Does this prove your point? lol) Then your refusal is your folly, because coming here to vent and keeping to myself completely in real life are very different things. Sorry you can't realize that. I find it (almost) funny that you presume people to be such astute discerners of one's heart! The only word I can think of for that is "psychic." I somehow am not convinced that the average person is clairovyant. lol My counselor will be fired, if there is a God. lol (Okay, that was mean. But seriously, is it any wonder I only went to her twice?) Well, I find a person to be attractive, not based on "vibes." Women, could be different, I'll give you that much. But I know I don't base my attraction for females on vibes. It will get me nothing. Just as believing your point of view would get me nothing. There is nothing to gain from this discourse. It is merely an exchange of ideas, at this point. But I can say that the notion of looks not mattering to women is silly.

Do I come accross as angry? Sure, I'm angry about the situation, but not at anyone here. They are just as entitled to their opinions as I am to mine. Does the attitude need adjusting? Oh, probably. But no matter what I think of myself (or how I carry myself), I don't believe it will make THAT much of a difference. Even the people who claim to have changed their behaviour admit that they are still single. So what good did it actually do for them? You're more than entitled to give advice. I consider everything I'm told here... but that doesn't mean I ultimately agree with all I hear. If anything, it only bothers me more to know that other people are going through the same thing. (I'm compassionate, forgive me. lol) It would make me all too happy to have things operate differently, but what are the odds of that happening? As for putting up walls, I've done that before. Appearing cold, stoic and aloof on the outside to most people. But on the inside, it was a totally different story. I get tired of playing a part, wearing a mask or acting a farce. It's not me. I suppose I already am running away, though... I'm missing school a lot, I don't go out much, I spend way too much time here (it's true), so who am I to tell people to face their problems? Oh, think nothing of it. I meant no disrespect, nor did I question your manhood. lol

Oookay... If all women think as you, then perhaps it's best I'm not in a relationship, because I truly don't understand your kind at all.

So, we're at the point now where women complain about being complimented on being thin? Even in a relationship? *shakes head*

If I'm shy and don't say anything (or much of anything) to the women I do meet, then you can't assume that women are somehow "psychic" and can read my thoughts. Utter nonsense. Rather than people see what I'm saying as correct, we're jumping to assumptions about women's telepathic powers now. lol I'm far from desperate, friend. I'm much too picky to be desperate. But, after all, you would know. Well, we all know how when your mommy says you're good looking, that's all that matters. Give me a break. Just be patient, let me get a new photo of myself up... then we'll see if I'm full of crap, or possibly the only one who makes any sense around here. You clearly missed everything I have already painstakingly mentioned above. I don't tell women I like, "Oh, woe is me! I'm so ugly!" Most of you must think me mentally incapitated to assume I would ever say something so outright ridiculous to anyone I meet! No, many, many people (of all caliber of looks, if you want to think of it that way...) find meaningful relationships. Firstly, don't rub it in. Only upsets me all the more. Second, I never said that only "good looking" people find relationships. But the unattractive man is going to be hard-pressed to find anyone he is physically attracted to, who feels the same about him. Sure, there are some rarities which exist, but for the most part, it's true. Or... are you giving me that wonderful bit of advice that that one counselor I spoke to said: In essense, "So what if you're not physically attracted to them? Just take who you can get." Needless to say, I never went back, after hearing that garbage. Much rather be alone than with someone I don't want to be with, so telling me "settle" is futile. I already am alone, so your prophecy has come true! When people step out into the real world, and get off the internet, maybe then they'll begin to see that looks matter more than they think, and attitudes less. I look forward to that day. Well, if you agree, then firstly: I'm surprised. But it's somewhat of a relief to know that at least some of us haven't completely lost touch with reality. What do I want...? Beautiful question. At first, I posted this mostly to vent. I was upset... still am. I am hurt. I'm tired of my life being so lousy. But I also believe that I am right. I walk around everyday in my shoes, as Kevin T; no one else. So I know what I experience better than anyone else. That said, it originally started out just as a rant (so complaining or "whining" isn't far off, I'd say), but then so many people started disputing everything I was saying was wrong (without any hint of proof for their claims) and that motivated me to say, "Wait a minute... just because you guys say something, doesn't make it so. Looks DO matter; a great deal more than you profess!" And essentially, here we are. Does that mean I'm looking for sympathy? Nah. I don't care about that. It won't help me anyway. Sure, it would be nice if more people identified with me and understood where I was coming from, but it seems living on the internet has blinded some people into believing attitude is everything. I hate to beat a dead horse, but I see the way people respond to me (or lack thereof), and while yes the shyness is something I can fix... it may not be enough to compensate for the lack of looks on my end. So, I really don't want anything. I know that my looks cannot be changed, so seeking advice or the "perfect answer" just isn't there. I hardly want any sympathy or apology for that; that's ridiculous. As much as I hate the way this world works, I also have to assert "That's the way it is", and so here we are. I just don't understand where these people are coming from; assuming that we live in a utopian society which values only the soul, never the flesh. Come on!

Ah! So THAT'S what I'm doing wrong!

Well said. Point proven, thank you. "Why try when you know you will fail?" I just see little value in it. Sorry, I'm kind of lazy that way. Most smart people are lazy, you know. And I'm not saying it didn't HELP you; clearly it did. But even the fact that you didn't meet anyone says to me that it may not be worthwhile. Talking to "hot" girls and having a significant other are two very different animals. Just saying how I perceived it. My mistake (I guess...) But I challenge what you are saying. I acknowledge that being shy is definitely not a good thing, and fear will only (and always) hold me back (and that applies to ANY area of life). Those are, indeed, facts. However, they are also extremely difficult to overcome... especially in the space of a night. Rome, etc. You get the idea. I'm not making excuses, but pointing out a valid statement. And something else: Sure, whining is grievously unattractive. But who am I trying to "attract" online here, anyway? No one. So thereforeeee, I can "whine" here all I please (until I get banned for overtly "whining"). I have never ONCE said that I "whine" or complain about my woes in the company of women, because I don't. That would be about a productive as you said, actually. Even I'm not that stupid. I wish to correct something. You said that the things I talk about can be changed. Yes, and no. I can work on the shyness thing... will it change? God only knows. I can do little about being sensitive, but such is life. I am who I am, that way. But even becoming the most social extrovert (which has never really been me anyway) isn't going to fix everything. That is my point. I loathe repeating myself, yet that's all I ever seem to do: If looks didn't matter, then I do not believe I'd find myself in this boat. We need to open up our eyes and accept that looks (which are something you cannot change) do matter, and regardless of how much one may act (or even genuinely be) "confident" it won't change their entire romantic standpoint by itself. In regards to faith, that is another area which will not change; though admittably by my own decision on that. I won't compromise what I believe in for some woman. Not worth it. Maybe in internet land, where everybody seems to exist, looks don't matter and all that matters is one's "attitude;" nothing more. But in the real world, where people do exist, looks certainly matter. This is absolutely true among women I encounter frequently. It amazes me that people who have never met me claim to know me and my situation better than I do... yet they have no idea what I'm talking about. Just because the majority says I'm wrong, doesn't necessarily mean that I am, about this. Most of you guys tell me I need to change (which I don’t fully disagree with), but provide no actual evidence that what you are saying is true, and just assume that I should listen because ‘we know better.’ Hmm…

Ever read the story of 'Tantalus' from Greek mythology? Maybe that's similar to your predicament?

Sounds like somebody has a crush on yewwww!!! XD

Do I honestly have to explain...?