Kevin T

You know, it's so nice to be happy for a change! I was depressed for so long that I didn't think I'd EVER get out of that rut! It's just been ages that I've felt so invigorated and full of life. I feel so different than I have the past year or so. Not sure why I posted this; not like I need help... just thought I'd share how I'm feeling with everyone. Considering all my posts about "wah, poor me", etc., I just had to say how good I've been feeling as of late! I haven't felt this good in years! It's like a breath of fresh air was breathed into my lungs. This year's going to be a good one; I can feel it already! (And BTW, I'm not on drugs! lmao Actually, I'm not on anything at all, really.)

I used to have a complex about my weight, too. I always thought I was unattractive because I was "too thin." But I came to realize that it wasn't my appearance that was the problem. It was my attitude. I saw myself as unattractive and undesirable, and others picked up on that and saw me the same way. It wasn't until I learned how to love myself for the build God gave me that I started to show improvement in my personality. I'm not saying don't diet (or for those who are really skinny not to work out), but no matter what you look like, if you don't change your attitude first, you will STILL feel unattractive. And beauty is somewhat subjective anyhow. Just look at the replies here! Some men like skinny women, some like moderate women, some like chubby women, and some even like really heavy women! So don't change to make others happy, do it for you! Learn to love yourself, limitations and all, and you'll be a much happier person. Don't allow others' expectations of beauty to soil your self-image. And just so you know, even though I am a skeletal as can be (I love the sound of the word "skeletal" BTW. lol Sounds cool, if you say it right), I prefer women to not be complete bone-racks themselves. Having a little bit of fat in the right areas is feminine.

Didn't work. Anyway, you're the man. You're supposed to be the one PURSUING women, not the other way around! (Believe me, I know where you're coming from though.) Maybe the women can sense your lack of confidence and that drives them away, even?

I highly doubt it's your looks that are the problem, but if you're that certain it is... post a picture of yourself. We'll tell you what we think! If looks were everything as you believe, then I would never see good-looking women with ugly guys. Yet I have, and do. And the same applies vice versa, too (which is even stranger since men are more looks-oriented than women). I've seen really good-looking guys with ugly, UGLY women. I mean, the girls were not at all good-looking, yet the guys they were with were! So it works both ways. So, while looks play somewhat of a factor (of course, let's not be stupid), they aren't everything. If they were, then I would NEVER see the things I see everyday. Yet I do. I think it's safe to say that what you think about yourself is hurting you more than it's helping you. If you're that concerned about your appearance, then do something to fix what's wrong. Work out more, eat better (or less, I don't know), dress nicer, smell better, smile more, etc. And if you're doing all that already, then I highly doubt it's anything to do with your looks. It's probably not how others see you that is the problem, it's how YOU see you.

That's good advice.

Maybe he's trying to make up for his bad behaviour with you, then? Okay, maybe not. It's true... "Actions speak louder than words." I personally think that if someone spends every weekend at the bar instead of with the person they claim to care about, you have to look at their ACTIONS. Talk is cheap. Do his words and actions line up? If so, then fine. But if not, then look at what he's doing, not what he's saying. Am I telling you to dump him? Of course not. Only you can decide what is best for you. But I think his actions speak clearly what is important to him.

I'm confused. You're upset because he started calling you more...?

One hundred percent right! It's the whole half-full versus half-empty scenario. Why not just look at one's positive qualities, as opposed to one's negatives? And for those who said no they would not, then are any of you dating right now? Because you shouldn't be. At least, not until you can become someone you'd want to date. Like, if you can't imagine dating you, then why should anyone else want to, either?

It has all the marks of me posting it in a bad, poor-me mood. lol

Trimmed, my dear, trimmed. Shaving for a guy... just doesn't seem right. I'm not that fastidious. lol

...I can't believe this topic's still here.

Wisdom, right there.

In the past, I would be shy with girls I LIKED, but not disliked. If I dislike someone, I would probably just ignore them or be cordial.

You're doing great, my friend. lol So glad things are going well for you. But don't expect sex on the first date. That said, don't be planning to invite her back on a first date. I'm not saying it won't work out that well, but try not to plan it.

Pubic hair is disgusting. lol I'm serious. I don't even know why we even have it. So, naturally I prefer a woman to be as waxed or bare as possible. I mean, come on... who likes all that gross... hair?! Yikes. lol

Don't worry, Red Queen. I happen to appreciate an attractive woman who likes to show off her body. Nothing wrong with it at all. I think some people are just too prudish or religious for their own good. Someone who has a nice body should be proud and not let others impose their self-righteous views on others.

I guess I belong to the "get over your shyness with the opposite sex" group, too. I've been super-shy with attractive women (only attractive women though lol), and it's got to stop. So I've resolved to do all that I can to fix this problem with chicks once and for all. I always said I'd do "anything" to fix this problem, yet I was never willing to do the work and put myself out there. So I only had myself to blame... but enough is enough. Last year was the LAST year I spend whining about being single. I go to a nice school, with tons of beautiful girls, why not start there? lol Good a place as any.

I've always understood it to be symbolic of power in a relationship. The one who loves most (or cares most, whatever) will be the one who gives most. And if you are going on about how much you love (or like) her and it's only the beginning of a romance, it may drive her away, and not only that, but it gives her all of the power. You are now at her mercy, and in the palm of her hand. Do you really want to give away all of your power and let her walk all over you? Not all women will, of course, but many will. And the same is said for men too, so I'm not being misogynistic. lol

My goodness, after looking at some of these lists, I thought I was picky! lol Fortunately, I'm learning that's not the case, so I hardly have any reason to lower my expectations at all.

Well, I've decided I have to do something about this, myself. If I don't nothing will change. If I'm back here whining about my situation in another year from now, then it shows I didn't do my part! Being shy and passive has helped me none. I can't speak for your situation, but I know my idleness is to blame, and I've got to simply fix this problem on my own. Can't expect someone great to just fall from the sky into my lap.

What an interesting question! lol Anyway, thinking about it for a few moments, yeah, I'd date me! I'm cute, funny, smart, romantic and easy to talk to. Hell, I'd marry me! In fact, a lot of the qualities I look for in a mate would be the same as myself... while I'm tempted to say I'd just like a female version of me with boobs, that's probably not true. But the problem is, if I were a girl... I know I'd be expecting the guy version of me to initiate the relationship. BUT...! The guy me is far too shy and cautious, thus nothing would ever happen. Both mes would be too shy to do anything, and keep expecting and hoping the other 'me' to approach the other. So, in theory, I'd date me, but I don't see any way it would happen, considering both mes would both be too damn shy! (And I wonder why I'm single! Really now!) *rolls eyes*

I seem to be encountering a bad case of being the "fifth" wheel. It seems all my good friends are now married, and as a result, want to hang out with other married (or dating couples). There's nothing wrong with this, of course, but it leaves the "single guy" like me, out of the picture. Even when I get included by them (which I usually do), I never really fit in. I feel aloof and odd, since I'm the odd man out. I hate it. I resolve to fix this. Somehow, someway. Whether it be by meeting someone great myself... or maybe just getting new friends. lol

Well, we're both outspoken... and have wild senses of humour, so you may be right! lol

Well, if you're in a relationship, then your resolution could be to improve a certain aspect of it. For instance, if you were long-term, maybe thinking about ways to make your partner happier, or maybe spending more time with them, stuff like that. Or maybe thinking about the future of the said relationship. It's a fatal flaw to think that just because one is in a relationship, that no further work is required. That hubris has led many relationships astray.

I think one hundred dates in a year is an admirable goal. Not sure if it's attainable, but it sure is admirable. lol Anyway, if you were serious... just stick to coffee. It'll be much less expensive for you, that way! (Unless, of course, they pay!)