dvd06002
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Posts
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You met people in libraries? How did that work?? I've tried that before and I just felt completely creepy trying to check out girls.
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image removed Ok, how's that? Honestly, I'm surprised at all the people who have suggested that my looks have nothing to do with this without even seeing my picture. I'm certain there are many instances where a guy can be unattractive and still elicite attention from women. There are plenty of guys who are outgoing and funny who can use those assets to over come their lack of good looks. I, however, am not one of those people. I excel in the arts and sciences. I'm a grad student working on protein kinetics in a biochemistry lab. In my spare time I write songs and paint. I enjoy intellectual discussions and get excited debating sociology, philosophy, and theology. I'm not completely akward in a social setting but I'm not gifted with a great sense of humor or an exceedingly extroverted personality. Basically what I'm trying to say is that I agree with the popular sentiment that in this game looks aren't everything. However, if your talents are not within the social spectrum, and you don't have any looks to back it up, then it's like fishing with a naked line.
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the link didn't work for you guys?
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] There you go. I'm in good shape. I work out a lot. I run. My hygiene is fine I assure you. I'm not saying looks are everything but it really kills your self esteem to have women ignore you all the time.
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I know exactly how you feel man. And so does Peter Gabriel. I'm sure you can relate to "Love to Be Loved" off of "Us". You're lucky to have a girlfriend that you love. From what I've seen, getting attention from women is all about having confidence, making yourself available, and being attractive. I have two good friends who I go out to clubs with a lot. They are both very confident and nice people with great personalities, but one is very good looking and the other isn't. The good looking guy gets hit on by attractive women all the time, the other guy rarely does. However, looks aren't everything. This guy still manages to meet some good looking girls every now and then.
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Yeah but the point is that I do have lots of things in common with the girls that I'm reffering to and since they keep calling me and wanting to hang out I'm assuming they enjoy hanging out with me...they just don't want to be anything more than friends. That's where I'm concerned that looks might play the deciding factor.
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A few years ago that would have described me to a T. But I've tried to avoid that role lately. People have told me that I'm too nice to girls, but I have a hard time seeing where you draw the line between treating women with respect and being the guy who is perpetually stuck in the friend zone. It's not that I have other plans 'in the back of my mind'. If I like someone I try to flirt with her and let her know that I find her attractive. In every case where I've tried being forward, the girl has danced around the question, ends up not really answering it, and several weeks later she's off with some other guy. The other thing I've noticed is that when I try to flirt with women it always seems uncomfortable. Part of flirtation is reciprocation and I find that I almost never get that. That's why I think I end up being in the friend zone. Not for lack of trying but because attempts at flirting always seem to come up against a subtle but obvious brick wall. I've noticed this isn't the case with my friends. That's why I asked about looks being the problem. If you have lots of things in common and that person enjoys your company, what else could be getting in the way besides her just not being physically attracted to you?
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What does it say about you if you are someone who has no difficulty making friends, is very likeable, talented, ambicious, has no problem talking to women and has many attrative female friends, and yet is completely ignored by women when it comes to sex or relationships, never hit on by women, never receives reciprocation when he hits on someone, and gets turned down for dates by virtually every girl he aks out? I would tend to think this has a lot to do with looks. My friends (male and female) inisist that I am not unattractive, but I have a very hard time believing them. My friends are hit on by girls all the time when we go out, but I never am. It makes me feel truly awful to be rejected like this all the time and I've been very depressed for the last several months. I'd totally get plastic surgery but I'm in grad school right now and can't afford it. Has anyone here ever experienced anything like this? Was/is it because of your looks or is there something else that I'm not seeing?