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lonelyfish

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Everything posted by lonelyfish

  1. lonelyfish
    Great post Kellbell, your comments really sunk in for me!
  2. lonelyfish
    Feeling kind of low after finding out ex has new girlfriend or at the very least seeing someone new. NC was doing me a lot of good but then just had that urge after the new year to contact him and see how he's been doing. For all the baggage that my ex has and troubles in his life I can't believe someone would date him but I guess I did. He is a nice guy afterall. Doing NC helped me so much and I wish I didn't contact him now but maybe this will help me move on. I was starting to realize that he probably was not the best guy for me afterall, I deserve so much more than he can give. But it still hurts. Any advice in moving on from here and dealing with those feelings that finally sink in would be appreciated! Thanks!
  3. lonelyfish
    Well maybe after that conversation it will get your ex thinking some more. I know you wanted to hear something more positive from your ex, and I'm so sorry. I really thought your ex might come around and you know, in due time she might but you can't keep waiting around for her. I think the best thing you can do right now though it sucks to hear is to keep taking care of yourself and move on. Like me I'm sure you will admit that you'll always have a glimmer of hope in your heart for your ex to give you a second chance. With the divorce thing I think we both feel we were not given much of a chance to see where our relationships with our ex's could have gone. I think that hurts the most when I look back with my relationship with my ex. It's one thing to know a relationship failed or that the love was just never there, I think its harder to get over an ex when you feel it was just bad timing and if the circumstances would have been different it might have had a better chance. I also hate thinking that I may have been just a rebound! Keep dating other girls, you may find one that you like even better than your ex, or at the very least it helps to take your mind off her.
  4. lonelyfish
    I do think that's the best way to go about it and it coud work if your ex has a little spark left in his heart for you. I think sometimes the ex totally moves on without looking back. As I would also like a second chance with my ex I'm curious as to when you will take this plan into action and will you make the first move or wait for him to make contact with you again?
  5. lonelyfish
    Start with just a friendly phone call, I wouldn't push the "friends" thing though. See how the conversation goes.
  6. lonelyfish
    OCD, I think you've gained enough knowledge/advice from this site and from everyone on hear that you can feel pretty good about doing what's best for you and your situation. Trust yourself, and believe that no matter how you decide to proceed with your ex you are doing what's best for you! I continue to wish you luck and happiness!
  7. lonelyfish
    Happy New Year OCD, Since you sent your ex the text message I think maybe you should wait and see if she calls you back. If she called you before she will most likely try to call you again. Just answer the phone this time! I never understand why she never leaves you a message? If she doesn't call you by the end of this week, then maybe you can give her a call. I know this "game" sucks but again, continue to play it off as if you've been busy doing stuff.
  8. lonelyfish
    Hi OCD, I'm very glad for your friendship on this site and I only wish the best for you. As I know as well, I hate waiting around for the chance with the person that I have strong feelings for like you. But I know through past relationships I've never been the one to move on so quickly especially now since like you I don't think I felt like I was given enough of a chance with my ex since he was going through his divorce and all. So I know it will take some time to move on and be comfortable with someone else again. Am I waiting for a second chance, hell yeah, but I know it does me no good to wait around for it. If it happens it happens. I feel for you though as your ex has made it a bit complicated in your recent contacts with her. I think you can at least see it as a bit of hope, as a girl, I can see she may seem a be a bit confused and by seeing that I see that you just have to be somewhat carefull. Just take comfort knowing we are all here for you knowing whatever may happen. May the New Year bring you much happiness!
  9. lonelyfish
    OCD, this is where I can relate to you in dealing with an ex that's gone through a divorce. It's not the same as dealing with someone that's been single all along. That is why I have been telling you to be patient with her if you really think there is something there. I think to give her an ultimatium now is to throw away any future with her at all. If you just keep it cool you never know what could happen. You should do what this thread promotes and work on yourself, maybe move on, maybe she'll decide to come back but in the mean time date other people, maybe you'll meet someone new, maybe not, but do you want to screw up never having a chance with your ex if you say you love her so much? To lay it on the line with someone that has been single for a while is one thing but for someone that has been married for a bit is a total different perspective!!! I wish you all the best as I've been through some of the same things myself. New Years tonight I find to be tougher than Xmas but I have to believe if it's meant to be it will be then otherwise I'm hoping to just make myself a little more stronger throught the experience!
  10. lonelyfish
    OCD, I agree with Lady Bug, you should really answer your ex's next phone call. I think at first when you did N/C not answering her calls were OK to do as you were trying to not appear as if you were chasing after your ex, but now to keep doing so will only make things more confusing as you seem to have established some sort of communication again even though your ex may seem aloof to you with all that she has going on. I would just keep it cool with your ex. I think laying it all on the line with her and and confessing your feelings again to her may just give her more reason to keep her distance from you. Again, I think you are only thinking of your own feelings. I know it hurts for you but your ex is dealing with a lot as well. I've read other posts on here about telling ex's it's either all or nothing, but is anyone on here really looking for the nothing? I don't think so. I truly believe to reconnect with one's ex takes a lot of patience, as like you had when you first started dating - you didn't rush things because if you did you would have scared them away. Think about it!
  11. lonelyfish
    OCD, I was really hoping she would have contacted you by now but don't let it get you down. Keep doing N/C and let her come to you again. I'm sure she is still in a daze with everthing that has been going on plus the holidays. I really think she is missing out on a wonderful opportunity with you but I think she has to realize that on her own. Give it some more time, take care of you, and maybe when things calm down in her life after the New Year she will be ready to contact you again if she has not already!
  12. lonelyfish
    When my ex and I met, we always said if it didn't work out at the very least we would have made a great new friend. It didn't work out and did not make any effort to remain good friends except for the Xmas cards that we sent each other. He has a lot of issues to work out in his life so I guess the limited contact is for the best right now. Though I would have preferred to have a more comfortable level of a friendship with him but I admit a little piece of me would like a second chance with him.
  13. lonelyfish
    I know it will be hard but try not to worry so much about your ex over the holidays. Enjoy yourself and have fun. I think you are thinking too much about her actions, why she did this and didn't do that, I know whats that like and it just makes you restless. You have to believe that if its meant to be it will be and have a little patience. I would go back to N/C but I pesonally don't see anything wrong if you choose to send her a card (just sign it and leave it at that) though I know others have objected about that. Do what you feel is right for you.
  14. lonelyfish
    Are you sure you are going to be OK if she does not give you any kind of response? I'm curios to see how you will feel in a few days but I do hope it did give you some relief to send it and that you feel like you can finally move on!
  15. lonelyfish
    Wanted to post this to the top, I think some need to refresh themselves with SuperDave's advice with the hoidays approaching. Just looking out for everyone!
  16. lonelyfish
    OCD, I know it is tough right now but you have to be strong. I still think you need to wait for her to contact you but I don't see anything wrong with sending her a double get well/Xmas card knowing that she is supposed to have her surgery this week. But just leave it at that, nothing more. I know how difficult it must be, but the best things in life are worth the wait so just be patient. Your ex seems to still be going through a lot. If you can just get past the holidays, I know things will be so much easier as with everyone on here. I wish you all the best! By the way, my ex sent me an xmas card which was very surprising, that is more than what I could have asked for from him. You never know?
  17. lonelyfish
    Stop contacting him!!! You are not thinking with your head right now. It is only going to push him further away and make him think he made the right decision in breaking up with you!
  18. lonelyfish
    You have to realize that even though you may be feeling great for sometime you are more than likely to have a relapse every now and then and think about you ex and feel so confused, miss her, and wonder if she's thinking of you. It's perfectly normal, we all go through it. Don't let it stop you from moving on (though you may want her back), you are doing great. No matter what do not try to contact her again. Your in a good postion now to level the playing field with your ex, to be the strong one. Let her make the next move to contact you from now on.
  19. lonelyfish
    Hey, you have to stop contacting him! It is not going to make you feel any better though I know you may think that. If you ever want to have another chance with this guy you have to stop any contact that you make to him. He's just going to think you're pathetic, and weak. Be the strong girl that you used to be. Believe me, I wish I found this website when I my ex first broke up with me. I made the same mistakes everyone else has on here in trying to win him back. It does no good you just look like a fool. Now, after 3 months, I believe I'm back at an even level with my ex, we both sent each other an Xmas card. That is all I could ask from him right now as he's still very confused. I'm moving on the best that I can but honestly, I'm trying to leave that door of opportunity open with no hinges in the chance something may happen in the future, but I also know I could meet someone even better than him. You could too!
  20. lonelyfish
    Hang in there. It is good to deal with your feelings and to just let them out but don't do anything drastic! To be honest, and I know this will hurt but your ex will not do anything anytime soon to show you that he cares. He may if you give it some time but don't dwell on thinking he's going to change his mind anytime soon. You have to just take care of yourself. Remember the girl you were before you met him - that's what he was attracted to in the first place. Strive to be that girl again. P.S. - drink lots of water before you go to bed tonight to lessen your hangover tomorrow a.m.!
  21. lonelyfish
    Hey Ms. I had the same thing happen to me with dating a guy that was just about to be divorced. We had a great relationship but as soon as I helped to bring back his confidence and with his divorce to soon be finalized he dumped me. He was really confused and scared about getting serious with another person so quickly even though we had a fabulous time together. Plus it was long distance and kids were involved. You have to believe this has nothing to do with you so be strong! I know it hurts like hell but it does get better. Best advice to give you right now is to do N/C (no contact). You will only push him away more if you try to contact him, send him a letter etc. Your ex has a lot to deal with right now, so don't take it personally. If you give it some time and give him some distance he may realize what he gave up. He needs to realize the grass is not always greener on the other side. Concentrate on doing whatever it takes to make you feel better right now - there are some great holiday sales this weekend - buy something for yourself! I've been through it so I'm here you!
  22. lonelyfish
    I sent my ex a friendly Xmas card too. We ended on good terms though he broke up with me and we always said we would remain friends. Though I haven't talked with him in 1 1/2 months because of N/C. He actually sent me one in return which was in fact nice to see. I know I have to go back to N/C again from here and continue to move on with my life but I'll admit I continue to sometimes think of the maybe's and what ifs. Sigh...
  23. lonelyfish
    Ocrob - that really hit close to home. I am so bored at work though I have a great job so people tell me. It's just not me, there's no creativity, very little human contact and I have lost all motivation. Also I have been wanting to move to a new city for so long - I want to start anew someplace else to try to change a bit of my persona and be the person I'm really meant to be in life. Thanks for your post, I'm glad there's other people that feel the same way as me.
  24. lonelyfish
    Very true! Great post Keefy!
  25. lonelyfish
    Hockeyboy, What is keeping you from contacting this girl again if she was so great? Do you ever wonder "what if"?
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