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lonelyfish

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Everything posted by lonelyfish

  1. lonelyfish
    Dogg, sorry to say this but in my opinion I think you lost the chance to send her the B-day card after your too lenthy text response to your ex. If her birthday was a month from now and you did N/C then it would have been fine. But since her b-day is next week it seems too soon for any sort of contact again no matter if its her birthday.
  2. lonelyfish
    Regretfulman, I have been enjoying reading your posts. They are very positive but also real. Anything can happen in life, that's what makes life exciting you just never know.
  3. lonelyfish
    Dogg, I think everyone that has read your posts on here justs wants you to finally "get it." It being the definition of N/C and what it's truly about as SuperDave and others have continued to comment on. We have all been where you are and it takes some longer than others to finally "get it" and we can clearly see that you have been having a hard time letting it all sink in. Hang in there, you are doing a great job of N/C. If you continue to keep it up you'll slowly start to feel so much better about yourself and your ex. Right now it sucks, we all know how you must feel, and we are all just trying to help you through this difficult time.
  4. lonelyfish
    Besides sending her a birthday/Xmas card, I would just sit back and wait for her to contact you.
  5. lonelyfish
    Dogg, I think it's fine to send her a birthday and Xmas card but do not write too much in it and do not tell her you miss her! As far as the holidays go, I would not worry about doing anything for her family. They are only an extension of your ex and to do anything for them would only come accross as trying to get back with her. Keep up the N/C. Holidays are going to be hard for all us on Enotalone but they will also be hard on our ex's. They can get lonely too. If we've doing good N/C for some time maybe the holidays will even get our ex's mind thinking about us and what we are up to?
  6. lonelyfish
    I think you have to do what you feel is best. I'm sure you're ex will try to contact you again. As for waiting to hear "lets work this out" from her, I don't think you can expect that to happen anytime soon. I do applaud you for not wanting to make any more effort. I'm at that stage as well and it feels like I'm finally starting to heal. Though I do have my times when I think about my ex and miss him. I've heard a lot about not calling the ex back after they have called no matter what. I believe that wouldn't work in my situation. We both respect one another and i think I would come accross as immature in his eyes if did not return his call though I have only talked to my ex once since our break.
  7. lonelyfish
    OCD, I think your ex is using you for emotional support right now especially with the upcoming holidays. She probably has some feelings for you still but as she is still confused, and maybe a little lonely she is not thinking straight and is only confusing you at the same time. You need to keep your distance. You can call her back but keep it very short and don't bring up anything in regards to your relationship. My advice would just to call her back and wish her a good Thanksgiving and then go back to doing N/C. She needs time to be by herself and reflect on things. If you back away maybe in due time she can clear her head and realize what a great guy you really are.
  8. lonelyfish
    Hi Just wondering, I broke up with my ex over two months ago - N/C for 2 weeks now - feeling a lot better. I wouldn't be surprised if he's wondering why I haven't sent him a text/email/phone call etc. already. Anyway, I'm totally not planning on calling him around Thanksgiving or in the immediate future for tht matter and I take satisfaction knowing he thinks I would be the one to make "the call" but won't. I know I shouldn't but there's a part of me that believes he would call me during this next week and I was wondering what everyone else was thinking. Are you all thinking they might call you during this time?? I hope everyone stays stong during this difficult time!
  9. lonelyfish
    OCD- Glad I lifted your spirits - that's what this post is for! Keep on keeping on my friend! Lonelyfish
  10. lonelyfish
    We all have our bad moments. I had a few today too. In the same day I feel great and bad every other hour! I haven't talked to my ex in 2 weeks and I'm already wondering if he'll call around Thanksgiving to wish me well. I know I shouldn't wonder about that but I do. My ex is still going through a divorce but we clicked as well - everything was perfect - so I know why you must be thinking why the heck didn't it work out if everything was so great! I'm mad at myself for ever agreeing to get involved with someone in his situation and I know I'll be devasted to realize that I may have just been the "rebound" girl. That will suck. Right now what helps is realizing that he is going through so much that I can't even begin to phathom. Mostly I feel bad for him even though I got hurt in the end and with all his baggage that he has a girl would have to be a genuinely amazing nice person more than myself to get invloved with him - she would have to be very special - if he thinks he can find that again so soon then good luck to him. I take satisfaction knowing that when he starts to date again he's going to constantly compare everyone to me. I think your ex will too OCD. Don't feel bad but that will be a good thing. It is difficult to think of your ex with someone else but you seem to be very sweet and like me it all ended because of bad timing with her divorce. Keep your chin up, feel good knowing she has you to base all other guys on - and maybe in the long run she'll realize what she gave up. We are both their "first love" after thier divorce - who doesn't forget thier first love - per Martha Stewart - "It's a good thing"!!!
  11. lonelyfish
    Hi OCD, What were the answers that your ex finally let you in on - were they that bad? I think it's too early to rule anything out - I think you have to expect the unexpected in life and to not expect anything. From reading your posts your ex seems to be confused still - you can't put a deadline on when and if she decides that she'd like a second chance with you. There have been times in my life that even if the perfect guy had come around I think I would have just passed on the opportunity. referring to Superdave's posts - yeah, I wonder about certain guys in the past now that I had dated and broke up with because I was confused. I would like to think my current ex will do the same thing in due time but by then I may have moved on...life is crazy - accept it, it would be boring if we got all our heart's desire, nothing would be there to challenge us - thus giving more power to the N/C rule!! Keep your faith and believe in yourself rather than believe in the fact she'll come back. It all works out for reason.
  12. lonelyfish
    Keefy, Thanks for reposting some of Dave's quotes - those were really good! I often wonder about guys that I've dated in my past and that really hit the nail on the head with my current situation especially in regards to N/C. Gives me some inspiration to just stick with it and move on. Whatever happens with me and my ex I know he thinks I'm a great person, I couldn't ask for more than just that. He has lots of stuff to figure out in his life right now, and it wouldn't surprise me if I'm in his thoughts from time to time. OCD I can relate to your situation. Just hold strong and believe things happen for a reason. If it's meant to be it's meant to be but I know that right now it hurts. Somedays I feel great and others I just want to do nothing but sulk but I know I'm still healing.
  13. lonelyfish
    Dogg, Right now you are only thinking about your own feelings and not hers and that will only make you appear desparate and selfish. She has some issues to deal with in saying she needs more time, the more you contact her the more distance she's going to put between the two of you. She knows you still very much care for her. Go back to N/C and be aloof and let her wonder what you are up to. She obviously seems to still care for you as well. I know N/C is sooo hard but I really think it's for the best for both involved. I bet she'll contact you in due time if you just let her be.
  14. lonelyfish
    I'm with you on the feeling alone thing!! I have felt alone in the past when I was single but nothing like after my relationship ended. The weekends are the hardest especially with most of friends either married or in relationships. It really sucks. I know I need a change and have been thinking of moving for quite some time. I actually have an interview for a new job this week so maybe things will work out and I can be excited to start anew someplace else and meet a lot of new people. It certainly will help take my mind of my ex.
  15. lonelyfish
    Thanks, Yeah, I've heard the whole "if it's meant to be" thing, I do really believe in that and thanks, sometimes I just need a little encouragement.
  16. lonelyfish
    Hi Everyone, I've posted a few times but in a nutshell I dated a guy going through a divorce for six months. We both acknowledged our relationship was too good to be true but as he moved further away for a job and spent less time with his 2 kids something had to give and that was me. He was really confused and said he needed to just be on his own. I never thought I'd ever get involved with a guy in that situation but he was so sweet and nice and we just clicked. So after 2 months N/C we finally talked 2 weeks ago and he said he got fired from his new job already! At first it sort of made me feel better knowing why would I want to be involved with someone that has so much stuff to deal with in his life right now - I wouldn't want that burden on me. But deep down my heart still feels something and I definitley miss him. I guess maybe I'm still not over him and not thinking normal for any rightminded girl would not get involved with him at this point in his life - sucks that he is so charming - those guys get to me all the time! My friends and family would think I was nuts to ever get back together with him for someone in his state. But I just want a second chance after things in his life calm down to see if there was anything there. I'm stupid for feeling like this, I know I should just move on but I often wonder what if?
  17. lonelyfish
    The weekends when I'm not busy always make me think too much about things and then I feel like making "the call". Today was a long day and I actually considered calling him just to leave a Trick or Treat message - fun and friendly no big deal kind of thing but admitedly hoping to talk to him. Then reading all the posts I decided to just send him a funny text pic to his phone of this Jack-o-lantern puking it's insides into a toilet. Just wanted him to know i was being friendly and open to communication. (see it at: link removed) Something clicked with me after i sent it. I felt good but I didnt' care if he responded or not. I think I'm ready to move on - I'm tired of always thinking of him and wondering if he's thinking of me. He gave up a good thing - maybe he'll eventually realize that but I finally felt back to my oldself today and want that to continue since its the beginning of a new month! Hope everyone is doing well tonite this Halloween - hoping you only get treats and no tricks!
  18. lonelyfish
    Hi - I was thinking of sending a happy hallowing text as well. I'd rather call but I don't think either are such a good idea right now for me for I'm still waiting for him to initiate contact.
  19. lonelyfish
    Just need some clearification? Do you just wait for you ex to contact you no matter how long it takes or can you give it some time and contact them after you feel you are ready and have enough emotional strength to talk with them? I'm still afraid of bothering my ex too soon and risk pushing him away.
  20. lonelyfish
    Bams, Let us know how things go with your ex. When will his divorce be finalized? As for me I'm still wating to hear from my ex through email. I had told him I needed time and just said to email me once he moved into his place. A mutual friend of ours told me he still has not set up an email account yet but that he was planning on emailing me after he does. I know he's busy and not home much but haven't talked to him besides a silly text message in over a month and 1/2. It's just agonizing waiting to here from him. Every now and then I get the urge to call but I come here and read all the posts and know better not to. I'm doing OK but there's just some lonely times that really get to me! Sometimes I just wonder if I just called him if it would help break the ice - since he was previously married it's not like he's dealt with many breakups.
  21. lonelyfish
    Hi Bams, Your situation hit close to home. I never though I'd date a guy that was going through a divorce and had 2 kids but did! I would never recommend anyone getting involved with someone that is going through a divorce. I knew what i could be in for but followed my heart and not my head. Had a great six month relationship - but as his divorce was soon to be finalized he freaked out about getting too serious with me when all his friends were telling him he should really play the field after being married for 10+ years. It also didn't help matters that it was a long distance relationship and he worked many a weekend. I also believe it was just bad timing. I'm giving him his space and waiting for him to contact me. I'd like to believe I'll get a second chance with him eventually but I certainly can't just sit and wait around for him. It's only been 2 months since we broke up and I miss him so much. Bams how have you been dealing with the breakup with your ex - after six months do you still hurt and are you still keepin up hope that he might come to his senses and come back to be with you? Lonelyfish
  22. lonelyfish
    Hi and thanks Super Dave, you give great advice - It's just been very hard to not call. My situation with my ex is kind of complicated. Never thought I'd get involved with a guy going through a divorce but I did and fell head over heals for him. He also had 2 kids which made it more difficult plus he lived in another state so you can see all the complications that could be involved! The thing is we had the best relationship and he knows that. Things seemed to hit him all at once and yep he decided he just couldn't get involved in a serious relationship when his marriage was just about to end. I haven't talked to him in over a month though I did write him a letter which I know he received last week and just said for him to contact me when he was ready. I have yet to hear from him though through a friend he said he would be in touch with me via email once he settled into his new place. With his situation I know I totally need to give him his space. But we always said we would be friends if it didn't work out. I would like to at least get to that level. I'm sure this is a bad assumption but I feel if I call him to break the ice we may be able to get to that "friends" level in our relationship??? Need advice - do I still not call him?? Many thanks - Heather
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