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selfi

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  1. selfi
    he just rang me to 'apologise' ; everything he did yesterday meant 'nothing' 'he was drunk' etc etc i feel as bad as i did when he broke up with me. I must be really dumb but i truly felt he still cared for me (even tho he was drunk) Why would someone do this to another person? We spoke for two hours on the phone today, and for that whole two hours it felt like a punch in the stomach. After 3 months of total NC, he ruins everything by kissing me, and taking it back (the same thing he did in December) I hope im making sense I just feel so confused...i must be because i still love him and its not returned... I asked him whether he would want to sort out our predicament over a coffee and he threw back in my face "nah I dont really have any urge to see you actually" What do I do? NC is impossible as we will be seeing eachother everyday from now on at college. I must of done something terrible to deserve this.
  2. selfi
    i forgot to add that ive crying all evening. . .this is the guy i gave my all to and he has the nerve to think i'll fall at his feet the moment he starts groping me in the female toilets of a pub
  3. selfi
    Coz that is obviousey what my ex wants of me if you sort thru some of my previous posts, you will see that i was somewhat hesitant about going back to college again as i am in the same small class as the ex. anyway today was the first day back for 2006, and let me tell you what happened; After class some of our us decided to go and have a few drinks at the pub, some time later and we are all a little drunk. . .anyways my ex pulls me over and starts asking me if ive been with any other guys (namely my other ex of whom i left him for ) so he is asking and asking me and all i say is that it is none of his business and has no right to ask... then he takes me to a quieter place and continually tries to kiss and grope me! i pulled away of course. . . im angry at the nerve of this guy! 3 months ago he is telling me he wants complete NC, and all of a sudden he want to have sex with me in all honesty it was pathetic. I dont take the excuse that the alcohol was affecting him to do uncanny hings, I just think he should be embarrased! this was the guy I had been crying and praying over.... what i want to know is whether i should contact him thru SMS to asl him about his behaviour? I just want to know whats going on (when he's sober of course!)
  4. selfi
    thats an interesting story Pikey, I love the power of fate and coincidence dont you?! Glad to see your progressing well. But if you do feel u want to PM me about anything dont hesitate.
  5. selfi
    im at the same stage as you echo, pondering whether to break NC. only diff is; im still in love with him. ignorance is bliss coz when i found out he had been asking about me to mutual friends lately it made me think; "hey maybe hes gonna come round...maybe he WANTS ME AGAIN!" heh, how silly, but these are daydreams ive had lately, thanks to gossipy buddies if you well and truly want absolutely NOTHING more than a platonic relationship with him, and have no plans for re-seduction (dont kill me for using that word!), then i say go for it. otherwise. . .i would mantain NC god speed
  6. selfi
    I thank God for leading me to posts like this, they help immensely
  7. selfi
    if you got Baz Luhrman to direct this film, then he could fill it with song and dance. . .prehaps it wouldnt be so boring after all
  8. selfi

    Silence

    selfi replied to Echo's topic in Getting Back Together

    It makes me think you are a giant, armed feline.
  9. selfi

    Silence

    selfi replied to Echo's topic in Getting Back Together

    ur avatar scares me friscodj
  10. selfi

    Silence

    selfi replied to Echo's topic in Getting Back Together

    if you spend months begging etc basically it means that the period of NC should generally be longer than if you gracefully bowed down and let things be dont know any people who have actually done the latter!) as time goes by, all people seem to forget the 'negative' aspects and tend to remenise on the beautiful moments of the former relationship. dont think of it like them finally having peace and quiet- thats not the case...look at it as both of you seeing what life is like without eachother in its entirety. .. and when the ex does eventually see you again somewhere down the line; they will know whether they want to come back or not. i tottally understand ur concerns, but i try to represss them! thinking about them makes me cry, loose sleep and walk around frowning!
  11. selfi
    but even the book itself says that you too must have genuine feelings for the one you are going to seduce in order for it to work. because the truth always comes out, and if you fake it, nothing will last. i am getting much more out of it than just "ways" to charm my ex. (which is essentially just ways of bettering ones self to the outside world) i dont have evil or untrue intentions. and the authour doesnt encourage the reader to have them either. i guess it is just a book that is easily misconstrued.
  12. selfi
    thank sfor your answer jigsaw, i thought that it would of mentioned something about that later on in the book. being attentive to the seductees wants before anything else, is something i truly appreciate learning. all this time i thought i was putting him first, however Greene explains, that my constant impatience to see immediate results, and my whinging and wining was me only thinking of myself and hear, hear moonunit! this v.cleverly written book is alot more about phsychology than bedding someone. also - its taught me things i may have been sleeping through in past history classes!
  13. selfi
    No, the book is not about scamming at all. It is essentially about bettering yourself as a person; to become attentive to the wants of others before your own, to loose (or at least disguise) all forms of insecurity etc. If you are truly interested in the one you want to pursue, then you are not faking anything.. Merely tapering the way you go about things. But because the book isnt dedicated just on seducing love interests, this is why I asked the question. Take a quick look at the books site which probably explains it better than I. link removed
  14. selfi
    this is a question for those who have read the book; after reading a number of reviews on this book, i decided to buy it. 200 pages later, and it has surpassed my expectations more than tenfold. the way Greene writes, really gets through to me. He points are valid, and I do believe if one were to follow the books strategies almost to the letter, they would have a good chance in getting what they want. the section on Anti Seducers is right on the mark! my question is; after a good period of NC, do you think his tactics can work on luring an ex back after they have seen your flaws, weaknesses etc, is it possible to turn them into victims and 're-seduce' ?
  15. selfi
    Yeah, what is it with men and their '6 month' time frame. ?!?!?
  16. selfi
    This is terrible! Please give you friend the advice he needs ASAP.
  17. selfi
    Hey NJ, I was waiting for another thread from you Its expectant that there would of been many opposing view points from others and I must say im on the fence here. Im glad that essentially doing NC has worked for you and that youre happy, but at the same time I also agree with what Echo has advised you. He hit the nail on the head in just a few sentences. Personally I think your ex should be grovelling a bit more to win back your time and care. He's a very lucky man.
  18. selfi
    talk to her like you have no expectations or hope, u have the so called 'power' right now. i wouldnt ask her if she wanted to get back together, but rather ask what her motives are with constantly calling you up. there is a big chance she is just doing this coz she needs a shoulder to cry on about oher issues in her life, but saying that there is also a chance she is testing the waters. dont stress over it though, take it on face value; its just a phone call after all. btw, glad to see NC working for you buddy.
  19. selfi
    Have been healing for 4 months from a 4 month relationship, that I left my boyfriend of 2 years for. 1 month of NC so far. Ive progressed career wise (im now PR girl of my cities most exclusive nightclub, and have been on TV and the newspaper! ) Lately He has asked a mutual friend about how I am, but thats all ive heard so far. Though I will have to see this guy everyday when college starts up again. Deep down I love him, and may consider giving him another chance if he wanted it, but this board has been a wealth of knowledge and is the main contributor on helping me see the light. Beautiful things will come to all of you who are more than deserving of it.
  20. selfi
    "Here! Here!"* raises glass to DN
  21. selfi
    spend a ridiculous amount of money on yourself. be totally selfish. splurge unnessiseraly it works, im serious
  22. selfi
    Quote; I wasnt attractive enough. End quote
  23. selfi
    No Pikey! Please, you know in your heart that it is only going to hurt being friends with him. Dont go down the painful road I did for 3 ardous months. Save yourself! I may be sounding a little dramatic here, but I know this friends-periment will not do you any wonders. I too get on so well with my ex like no other person on the planet. Yet now is not the right time to be excersing our fitting personalites. We need to Give it some proper time. NC is cool.
  24. selfi
    Oh yes octopus, thats probably what triggers all the tears, the fact that he loved me so much actually makes me smile instead. but when i think about those questions even he himself could not answer than i get into a head spin. but after my good cry i think of it this way; asking those questions to myself arent going to bring me any good whatsoever. i pooled all my energy into them for two consecutive months, and i was drained physically and mentally, bordering on needing medication for it. i recentely was doing so well, then by seeing him at college i got upset all over again. it happens. but we are going to get through this coz we rock! feel free to PM me any time, I know exactly how you feel
  25. selfi
    octopus, I too think of the reminders when he loved me ever so uch, and it was just last night that i burst intotears thinking about all the times he would express his devotion to me. Just because it seeems we are taking steps back in the healing road, does not mean we wont continue to move forward and take care of ourselves. In a way we could embrace the fact that we are experiencing such a spectrum of emotions and capable of having so much love for another. Imagine how wonderful things will be when that love is returned by someone worthy of it.
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