selfi

hey nataliejulie, i have a quick question for you. you say you didnt use no contact ect. well, its been nearly a month since i was dumped, and now (before school ends for nearly 6 months!) i really want to sit him down, and ask him if he wants to give us another shot. we have been getting along perfectly on a platonic basis. is this recommended?

well here i am again, because he just called and we talked for about 40 minutes. when he told me that he has party's to go to and busy week, etc etc, a feeling of unease started to pass over me and for the rest of the conversation i had this small resentment for him, as he continued to yabber on about himself and talk to me like he'd never dumped me. at first i thought the fact that we talk like best of mates was a good thing and it showed hope that we still have everything going for us. but now im thinking this facade is just plain Selfish on his part, and he only does it to satisfy his conscience. anywho, the reason im updating is i wanted to know if anybody has ever had these up and down feelings with their ex? at the end of the day i want him back, but why do i feel bitterness towards him for calling?

last night, talked to him via MSN for about half an hour, very friendly as usual. he said he'd call me today which, he did but i was out with the family so he said hell call me back later on tonight. for the minute that i talked to him earlier on, he sounded very unhappy for some reason and it felt like he was only calling out of obligation. its the start of the school week tomoro, and im still unsure about how i should act around him. sometimes ill get really down and ignore him, other days we will go and have lunch together, he'll share his food and do things like feed me affectionately(?) which rhetorates why i feel like im getting mixed messages and not just looking into things too much. im still praying and i just hope we can have another shot at this. Ego, pride and emotions aside, i know its worth it.

this is such a good thread. it really gives me hope and perspective. i only hope things can work out for me too, soon enough!

-today i rang up my ex and we talked over the phone as friends for nearly an hour before he had to go out. he still calls me by the pet name he made up for me too. these little things confuse me! Im inclined to want verbal reassurance that he of course isnt giving me, so i asked if i could speak to him tomoro as well. he told me maybe, but he doesnt want ME to call HIM coz apparently he would rather do it himself and surprise me?! (somehow i dont quite buy it) btw slightly off topic, but i discovered (via non legitimate ways) that he has blocked me from his MSN contact list too. I have no idea why. I honestly dont. We havent had any arguments or anything...

well; - my guy left me 3 weeks ago - NC is impossible since we are both in the same uni class - i am trying his hardest to be friendly with him while at school as he still talks to me quite alot and vice cersa, but it hurts alot at times for me - i sent him a text msg last nite asking if he would like to walk to school with me, he replied that he'd be there rain, hail or shine and wrote that i make him smile (?) - today his grandfather had a stroke, so i was there to support him, i gave him a painting i drew of us, made him get ttears in his eyes. - other than that, theres nothing else, i constantly get mixed messages from him because we still have contact at school, however outside of school he doesnt contact me. i get the feeling that there is still a lot of hope, but it could be just me being delusional so ill never know.. .

I see where you are coming from. A quick question on something I may have done wrong today at university. After class was over, I pulled him aside to ask him what he did over the weekend, as not talking to him/ seeing him was so hard, and I really was interested. After he told me (surprisingly he has such a busy schedule now that we arent together ) he asked me for a hug and proceeded to tell me he missed me. I hugged back. Was this a bad move?

But isnt that putting things too loosely? I know he did brake with ME, but Im only concerned because it seems like the problem is with himself, not me, yet he doesnt know it. So thats why prehaps I think I should wait till he discovers it for himself. I know I probably look like some blubbering dumpee who just doesnt want to face facts, but if the relationship wasnt so wonderful, I wouldnt feel so strongly about mending things.

Thanks guys, just a couple of questions though; Is there a reason I shouldnt be reading into what he says? Am I comforting myself by reading into things thinking he still wants me? What do you mean be maybe tend to be never? Its weird because he said to me that he doesnt see himself with me in the future, but still says theres a chance(?) IF I dont contact him/talk to him at school whatsoever, and along the line he does want to come back will the new 'me' who doesnt cry herself to sleep anymore, pray every night for him etc loose the love feelings im having now?

By limiting the contact do you mean that other then when I see him at school, it should be zero?

Hi everyone. None of my friends can seem to give me any proper advice so hopefully you guys can. Last week my boyfriend left me out of the blue. During our four months together I would often have to slap myself and realise that im in such a perfect and almost 'too good to be true' relationship. We'd probably had at the most two or three arguments which were all sorted out and over with so no grudges or issues were left unresolved. One day when I went over to give him an anniversary gift he told me no longer found me physically attractive anymore and "didnt want a relationship". Those reasons left me absolutely gutted especially the first one because I have NO idea why he wouldnt find me attractive all of a sudden. . .yet he says im still physically beautiful, loves me and still calls me by the pet name he gave me (?!??!) I have pleaded with him not to give up on us, it probably only did worse, but I only did it because he seems so confused that I just want to help him realise that this isnt right. All he says is that he's "made up his mind" and even though he doesnt think so right now, theres always a possibility we'll get back together. A few days ago he gave me a CD he made which not only had a heap of 'goodbye' songs on them but also some that were about giving one a 'second chance'. (?!?!) We are both in the same acting college so I have to work with him everyday, which is bad in itself. Every night I pray that he will return and I am waiting for him to find himself again. Am I wasting time? Has anybody else had a similar situation?