metalheart

Whoa! I didn't know that about eating bananas and chicken! But its very interesting cause.. in the last weeks, i started to have some repentine apetite for the bananas and chicken.. Its like my own body just asked for it. You left me speechless without a doubt with that, Sli. Thanks for the checklist

I had some mixed feelings this morning.. i dunno, maybe its cause its raining outside and that brings to me some memories from my ex gf.. Its kind curious, you know? Cause im trying to vent this feelings here posting but at this moment.. I've just forgotten what i supossed to write! Bah! .. I guess i'll pass over this feeelings for a while, until i get some ideas about what to post..

As many people here that has been the dumpee, i can understand your feelings about your brithday. Try to look at it in another perspective, Spawn. You're with the people who REALLY cares of you..You wanted that she will be one of those persons, but she DIDN'T want it. So now you really can see how STRONG were theirs feelings to you.. Is very sad and hurting, i know.. that feeling like if you're just nothing to her.. feeling like we said here in my country: a "Yesterday's Newspaper".. But realize that you mean a lot of good things for the other people who's sharing with you in this day. So try to get yourself up for your own and these people's sake. Its the best way to be thankful with those who bless us with their caring, friendship, love and respect. Kee your chin up and whatever you'll do, please DON'T CALL HER.. don't hurt yourself man!

Man. I really understand your anger... maybe she has a little to do with it but i think that what hurts you most, its the feeling that you let yourself being treated like that by her... cause you loved her and believe in her words, just to find out that all was a F!"#$! LIE.. ( That's how i feel about my ex) I think you're maybe angry with her for putting you in that situation, being so vulnerable and open to her. Wasting your time, feelings and money just to get nothing. Only emptyness, sadness, and loneliness... Maybe i'm wrong, but that how i see your situation from outside and taking as reference my own experiences. My two cents for you will be.. FORGET ABOUT THIS GIRL, MAN! She doesn't deserves your time anymore.. Go ahead with your life!

Hi temperamental taurus! I liked your post about the personality disorders. It's very interesting without a doubt! And i agree with Maggy too.. i'm really convinced that my Ex Gf had some of those personality disorder descriptions.. THE BLAME-GAME NARCISSIST THE CONTROLLER/MANIPULATOR OUR "SOUL MATE" By other way.. i've seen so many descriptions about personality disorders that i'm starting to believe that i maybe had one of these things . Maybe some referred to "Emotional Dependency" i'm really concerned about it. I dunno, all i say its that must be something wrong with me, for not to get over totally someone who dumped you 1.9 years ago.. ( Geez i think im getting scary even from myself! ) I hope not scare you with my comments.. And for once, thanks for your interesting post. Bye!

I'll tell you some tips that i've founded in many threads,self-help websites and books that also i'm aplying to myself since my breakup.. First Phase Steps: -Give yourself a time to think about him all what you want.. Until your mind just get tired to do it! -Avoid any conversation/contact with your Ex even more if your feelings aren't under control when you're talking/ seeing to him. (NO CONTACT) -If you're a religious person, try to go the church and pray. -Talk about your feelings with someone who you can trust .. -Try to get differents insights and points of view of your situation -Read some books to improve your emotional/relationships/sexual/dating skills. It will make you a better person in a overall way. -Give yourself time to scream.. to cry.. and get angry.. -After to do that, find any "healthy way" to take out this feelings ( That means without hurt yourself or anyone else..) -Do some exercise Second Phase Steps: -Delete ALL the messages/emails/photos/gifts and reminders of your relationship, or save it into a box... VERY HIDDEN from yourself and FAR away of your sight. -Try to do things that you wished to do before you know him.. -Try to do new friendships.. -Find new hobbies.. -Whatever you do, Keep doing exercise... -NO CONTACT.. -If you're feeling like you want talk or see him.. try to think yourself in another thing. Just put this BEHIND YOU.. -Vent all your thoughts and feelings posting here. AND until you find happy with your own life try to FORGET any kind of committed Relationship.. improve yourself!! NOTE: I'M NOT AN EXPERT COUNSELOR, I JUST HOPE YOU FIND THESE RECOMENDATIONS USEFUL TO GET YOUR OWN WAY BACK AGAIN.. My Best Wishes (From another Venzuelan guy )to you .. and Good Luck

Don't fall into this "mind trap".. you regret it later... Believe me, the only thing you'll get will be get hurt again.. by their coldness, kindness or if she just ignores you.. OR at worst of the cases.. ending runnning accross his new "adquisition" or actual bf.. DON'T BEAT/ HURT YOURSELF

Wow latina! I've never put attention to the lyric of that song neither until now! That song describes many of my own payback/ anger/move on feeling and thoughts about my ex. In another order of ideas.. just by curiosity where are you from exactly, latina? Im from Venezuela... Another latin guy

Tears May Fall.. im sorry by your father's death. I hope you feel a little better since then. I FEEL YOU 100% how do you feel.. My ex gf broke with me in a few months after my grandma's death (she was like my real mom... cause my mom used to be all the day working so she was the one who raised me). I remember that my ex told me: "Trust me.. i love you and i want that you open your heart to me, let me share your suffering, your fears.. that why we're a couple" "If we supossed to me married, we had to share the bad and good times" "I wont let you down.. i'll be here for you ALWAYS, as you have done with me" .. (my grandma died in March, 15- 2004) So i opened my self to her and.. 6 months after.. August 15, AT THE SAME DAY OF THE 6 MONTH'S OF MY GRANDMA'S DEATH CONMEMORATION.. SHE BROKE UP WITH ME... at the first time saying all those famous and beaten phrases: "You're a Great guy" "Its not your fault its mine" "I dont see any future for us" "I need some time and space for myself" (YEAH.. SHE USED ALL THESE!) I cried, begged, even gave her some days with no contact to give her time to think about, and after 4 days, i tried to get her back.. she also told me: "I'm not seeing anybody... I'm just centered in my career and my work" but after those 4 days when i go to talk with her personally at an institute where she was doing a course of computers.. I find her "work mate" waiting for her outside!.. Until today's Sun, she has been with him.. and i just left feel deceive.. sadness.. anger... so, from my part, my advice would be... FORGET HER.. FOCUS IN RELEASE ALL YOUR SUFERRING AND GIVE SUPPORT TO YOUR FAMILY.. Dont waste your time waiting for someone like her.. And Good Luck

Awesome post man! I left almost speechless after read that thing.. In my case, was a 4 yrs relationship and really sucks being so in love with someone who dont aprecciate our feelings and uses them to having fun.. Of course i have some mix of regret/ no regret.. Cause in somehow, i'm angry with myself to letting be fooled by someone like her.. i used to think that she was another kind of person. At least, thats the way that she shows herself to rest of the people.. By other hand, dont have regret it to give her all my love cause it help to see how much selfish, self centered, liar, unloyal she was with me in the time we spent along. (very contradictory.. Isn't it??)

I liked that post Boricua.. its a realistic testimonial And gives me some encourage to get over my ex much faster

Wow Friscodj! Good work man! The last time that I tried to talk to my ex Gf and sent her a letter was something very seemed to what you wrote to your ex.. That was in December 2004 (you know.. the christmas time and all the roller coast behind it) and to me was like some kind of: "I tried so harder, but I quit.. you cant see how much i love you and i cant take it anymore" I think that's the best way to say and express the "things"

Getting into the "musical background".. this is what you must repeat yourself when you think on him.. Limp Bizkit - Just Drop Dead's Chorus Cause I deserve more, I deserve more You act like a w#*!& So just drop dead Just drop dead!! Don't waste your time and your feelings with someone like that Max1..

As far as i know "See the Sun" it's the last track of her last album.. "Life for Rent" .. i really like her and her music.. she's an angel The funny thing its that i have that cd.. and I never had payed attention to the lyrics of that song.. Its like ive said in the post before: Looks like if "someone" has reminded me twice about listen it, cause its fixes for the both situations.. crazy world!

I'm really impressed with your history Max1, impressed in the way that some people likes to play with somebody's feelings... I mean: Why he needed to do this to you!? From my point of view i think you shouldn't talk with this guy, not even see him. If he's happy with that another girl, FINE! BUT it doesn't mean that he had any right to be so unrespectful with you. He doesn't deserves such a caring and loving lady like you!! The best you can do it's suspend all type of contact with him (Even Myspace thing.. i know that its very tempter, even if its just to see how is going on with him but.. its for your own good) Leave him with his "New Love"... we will see what he'll gonna do when starts to fall his "New Paradise".. (That guy really upset me.. ) and.. FORGET HIM ( I know its easier said than done, but you should try it) FOREVER AND ONCE! (You'll find someone who doestn't hurt you like that!) Oh! And remember.. You're not alone.. you're here with us. Good Luck

Yeah Hunny .. "I will survive" its classical a one! I wanted share with you this lyrics, which I "accidentally" heard for first time when I was depressed by my grandma's death.. and recently I hear it on the radio the "Valentines Day" .. kinda "curious" thing because it may apply for both situations.. ( Death Loss and Breakup) Dido - See the sun I'm comin' 'round to open the blinds You can't hide here any longer My God you need to rinse those puffy eyes You can't last here any longer And yes they'll ask you where you've been And you'll have to tell them again and again And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day Well I promise you you'll see the sun again And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness And I promise you you'll see the sun again Come on take my hand We're going for a walk, I know you can You can wear anything as long as it's not black Please don't mourn forever She's not coming back And yes they'll ask you where you've been And you'll have to tell them again and again And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day Well I promise you you'll see the sun again And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness And I promise you you'll see the sun again And I promise you you'll see the sun again Do you remember telling me you found the sweetest thing of all You said one day this was worth dying for So be thankful you knew her at all But it's no more And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day Well I promise you you'll see the sun again And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness And I promise you you'll see the sun again And I promise you you'll see the sun again And I promise you you'll see the sun again And I promise you you'll see the sun again I promise you you'll see the sun again See the sun again See the sun again See the sun again See the sun again See the sun again See the sun again See the sun again See the sun again I hope that might be useful in your healing process.. Good Luck

Maybe its a negative way to feel and think about our experiences, but I Totally in a 100% agree with sukerbut's opinion.. Its very hurting give all your dreams, efforts, time and undestanding to someone just to get kicked like that, just like we and all the people here in the site.. Personally, has been the third time that this happens to me in a Long time Relationship and.. it hurts me a lot because my ex gf and I were the best's friends and we have passed through the hurt of being the dumpee/cheated in our previous relationships. Seriuosly.. My beliefs about.. Life, Love, Relationships, Trust, Faith and Commitment are very broken ( even, i dare to say "destroyed") All i what lefts for me right now.. its all the roller coast that im going through.. where the angry/ distrust/ vulnerability are the common expresion of this intense emotions.. while im still preparing, hoping and waiting "See the Sun again"..

Hey sukerbut.. you've hit the right chord! And i add this thing to you ut_longhorn.. To me its been 1.9 yrs since my 4yrs ex Gf left .. in somehow the pain diminishes with the pass of the days...but of course, will be days when you feel less than an atom.. Just try to do some exercise or play an musical instrument (or both things)when you feel these mix of feelings angry/sadness/foolishness starts.. it makes you forget for a few minutes and maybe hours after.. all the mess where you are. This has worked for me. (Playing Korn and Metallica song's in my guitar its a very unstressful thing XD) (Going to the Gym or Martial Arts training, in my case) Also, you could read books to improve your knowledges about relationships/girls/dating/self steem.. i started to do that since the breakup and it help me a lot to see the things from different perspectives.. And if you're still feel hurt/sad/angry after do those things.. come here and keep posting and venting.. Really Helps! But whatever you'll do just remember the N°1 Rule: No Contact!! It will help you... to keep your mind far from her for moments Good Luck man!.. and my best wishes for everybody here in the forum

Hi just wanted compare with some of peopler here at the forum their feelings about this day.. that in somehow.. hurt us and makes wonder what gonna happen with us (At least for me)

Sorry.. i wanted make a name correction, in the star of my prevoius post was "ut_longhorn" instead of Octupuss (i confuse the threads that i have open in my pc ) .

Hi Octopuss.. i know what you're feeling cause i felt in the same way as you. I cant tell you exactly what to do to heal becuase certainly im not right person to do that ( to me its been 1.9 years and still hurts.. ).. Just face those feelings and be aware of them.. to make much easier the pain go away.. Good Luck and my best wishes to you

Hi Poco Diablo i just wanna make things more clear in some points I had those issues with her almost since the relationship started, because she was getting over her ex-bf... but i still tried to give a chance due to all the time that we had known each other and the kind of person that she used to be.. Im not trying to please my mother and for me thats another context very different than the "romantical" one.. for me not makes sense it all these comparison... but i understand what you tried to said... When i talked about to do everything for her i was talking about to make the effort for the relationship works and makes her happy.. we arguing in many times too because i didnt agree many things, BUT always trying to be most comprensive and open to talk about it with no offense/ making feel bad to the other... just expressing what didnt like it and how to avoid to those things happen again.. Its not the first long time-relationship that i have but im really hurt with this one because this is the 3rd time that this happens to me ... and besides.. with we're friends since long time and (at the time when we make a couple) we swearn to each other that we/d never hurt to the other because... we had experienced the same things in the past. How i was supposed to be excited/ happy when all the world in my eyes was falling down and i didnt know what to do?.. how raise my mom and sis from the depression? how make money with bad notes and no work experience? .. he just take the chance to make his move.. Lost nothing? ive lost my own peace.. my self confidence, my dignity... and the ¿respect? that this person had me.. if these things to you doesnt mean, i' ll respect that but.. to me means one of the most importants parts of my being.. This comments may look like some kind of reclamation but i wanted to clarify those points where you maybe get a misunderstanding of my words... In other way.. i wanna thank you by all the advices about improve on myself that you wrote next each "mistake" mine because it help me to see the things from one perspective much distant/ colder / and real from another person. ( Some of these tips i had already started to do before XDD) I've visited your site too.. its awesome all the Common Question's section, but i wanna make you a suggestion.. please put more articles.. your site its very interesting.. but i think that needs to be more "open".. And... one more time, Thanks for all. PD: Excuse if my English isnt good enough.. im practicing again in this forum

Ive read many posts here but finally ive decided ask for some help... im really worried about if its something wrong with myself because, im not over my 4 years ex Gf.. she broke with me at August 2004 and im still feel lost, sad, angry, hopeless .. alone.. disappointed.. Its a long history (That why i havent post it, to not boring you) .. Their parents arent allow her had a Bf, she moved to another state (for familiar problems) and started to work.. leaving us less time to spent together and i had various trust issues to her.. (she kissed with and old ex bf who was very friend of mine.. and other stuff like that ) but besides of all that.. i loved her and wanted leave behind all these things to be with her... the point its.. that i never cheated on her, never mistreated her, always was there for her... trying my best to treat her as a queen and always stand open for talk/ discuss about any problems/fears/etc about us or whatsoever ... (even we were planning spend our lifes together... how dreamer i was ..!) The time when the broke up came was the worst for me... i had many troubles because my grandma died (she was almost like my mother) my mother was unnemployed..(im son of a divorced parents.. my father lives near -one block- but he just help us "economically" to me isnt an emtional support) very bad notes at the university.. almost to to reprobate the semester, not having someone to talk about it.. i denied to myself let me down because ive became my Mom and my Sister's "Emotional Pillar", didnt wanted talk with her or my friends openly because i didnt wanted that she and my friends become involved with these negative spiral... ... Feeling abandoned by God.. by the life.. and a half dead by grandma's death.. so when she told me that, i begged on my knees (Thing that ive never had done in my life) dont do that.. because she was the only part of me that makes me feel alive in that moment.. all my dreams, hopes, efforts had a only begin and and only one end..SHE... We had a 5 years friendship relationship before we started to date .. and she left me behind and went with his "work-mate" 2 weeks since we broke up... and ask me that never look for her/calling .. nothing! ... i went to her university after breakup as my last attempt to trying to she came back and told me "just happened"... (So this all that means to you all this 4 yrs that ive gave it to you) "things arent working 1.5 yrs ago, so leave me alone" (I asked to myself.. 1.5 years ago.. since you started to work.. and all this time you make think about a commitment, about a life together.. AND ALL THE LAST YEARS YOU WERE FAKING!? ) "i had someone in my life" (myself telling me again...Someone new of course.. that guy who i was suspecting but "was only a friend to you" that guy who never see you cry.. never make you smile like i do.. ) "never call me again" (hmm i see.. like the said: "When there's a new Saint, the old ones doesnt make miracles".. So he's good looking, have money and spent almost everyday with you, im useless.. i cant believe it) Since this day i ve never talked to her.. but the next months we started to meet at the metro station almost every morning (She always with his new Bf) when i was going to work and she going to the univ... and every time i saw her.. these mixed feelings are there.. ( because as ive seen and heard from common friends.. that guy doesnt treates her as good and 70/100% are always fighting, even in public) and she ignores me, or sometimes just see me like embarrased.. i dunno.. maybe its some kind mind game.. All i want is recover my self esteem ( inexistent at the moment) my dignity (that ive give it to her, kneeling and begging), the respect that she stoled to left me in a "Emotional Bankruptcy" where im. Like ive said at beginning, ive readen many posts and books for depression/ healing/ relationships/self help.. and still feel bad.. somedays dont think in her but, other days, its like a ghost.. who haunts me at every moment(thinking / studying/ sleepping) and i want stop it for once! Any read for help,comments and advices will be appreciated

Hi pilot1ab... All i can say is, try to do NC, even if you see her in your job. Its the best for your mental/emotional/physical health, whether she comes back or not.. and try to leave back any hope of comin' back with her... these false hopes are what make you mind "go crazy".. C'mon man! you deserve someone who (in FIRST place) dont wants leave you .. So get up! You've won this fight already just by loving her despite all the pain that she has done to you (And still's doing, as far as i can see.) PD: (Excuse me if my English isnt good enough.. ive been lost the practice)