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providentielle

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Everything posted by providentielle

  1. providentielle
    When I read that I was doing it from my point of view, I am a female who has had crisis of confidence over the way a guy has felt over me in the past, I wanted to hear all the nice things and was worried that after he had been away from me for a week he would have had time to think and realised he didnt feel how he thought he did. I know this is a little insecure but it happens sometimes. After 10 days of you not being there to reassure her and worrying about things she came back and you told her you hadnt taken her seriously, even if this is true and was how she felt it probably wasn't the nicest thing to hear and probably didnt make her feel great. Every woman likes to hear they are loved and cared about. It is very possible that she did mean what she said before she left and had a little freak out while away and instead of feeling reassured, what you said confirmed her worst fears. We tend not to say all these things if we dont really mean them so maybe she is feeling a little insecure and silly for saying it when you didnt take her seriously? I could be wrong but it would make sense to me. Try saying something along the lines of you are both very young to use words like forever but you do really care about her and reassure her that everything else you said was true. Good luck
  2. providentielle
    some people just want what other people have got and when you see someone all happy and loved up you think "i want that" some people confuse that with "i want him/her" because that is the relationship they saw the happiness in
  3. providentielle
    If she thikns 7 when she doesnt know you that well then give her time to get to know you and hope she thinks 10! good luck
  4. providentielle
    If you like her i dont think you should let her friends get in the way. Dont lie to her and say they are great, just be honest and say you dont feel you have a lot in common with them and sometimes find them hard to get on with. I dont see why you have to pretend that you care about their drunken antics. All relationships involve a bit of give and take and i'm sure she doesnt spend all her time with these male friends and you could work around it. good luck
  5. providentielle
    Only you can know when the time feels right, trust your own instincts. If you love him and wants to do this then its easy to want to do it to make him happy but that wont work in the long run. Also, if he loves you he will appreciate you being honest with him and will be prepared to wait until you are ready. As for telling him how you feel, start with small things, say "i really loved it when you....." or "you make me happy" and build on that. Texting him or writing things down might be a good transition method too. Good luck
  6. providentielle
    You need to tell her that if she does something like that it does not make you feel good and that if you are to be in a relationship then there are certai things she needs to be more considerate about. Ultimately its up to you but remember to consider youe own feelings. If you know the relationship isn't happening and its too hard to talk then just tell her thats what you want and then dont talk to her, it might be hard at first but will be better in the long run, it has to be about self preservation just now. Good luck
  7. providentielle
    I have exactly the same problem, i hate not being in control. I think the first step has to be to orgasm by yourself, things are a lot less scary with your partner if you know how you will be in yourself. When you are comfortable with that then it will be so much easier. I told my partner how i felt and he was really good, he stopped if i asked him to and was really patient with me and eventually i got so turned on that i didnt want to stop! and after that first time of letting go and realising it wasnt an awful thing that i lost control for a few minutes it got easier and i haven't looked back since
  8. providentielle
    I try to think of things i wish i had done differently as learning curves rather than regrets, we need to make mistakes so we can do it better next time, as long as you learn something it wasn't all bad. And well done to SouthernSon for suggesting everyone have a little faith in their own judgement.
  9. providentielle
    I am currently in a long distance relationship. After almost 3 years together living in London I decided to move back home to Scotland, it was a difficult decision but I felt that our realtionship was strong enough to handle it and I think that in the long tun it is good because you learn to appreciate each other more and when you make it you know that you can handle anything and it makes your relationship stronger.
  10. providentielle
    Do you orgasm but just not with him? I found it difficult to let go in my first relationship, I felt I wasn't in control when I was that aroused and orgasmind and was completely vulnerable and I wasnt comfortable with feeling like that but gradually I relaxed with him and when i realised how much he enjoyed hearing me come I was happier with it
  11. providentielle
    I have what may be seen as controversial ideas on fidelity but in my opinion if you have had a fantastic relationship for years the few minutes it took to have a drunken kiss shouldnt cancel all that out. He is obviously confused at the minute, why not take a time out and set a date when you will both make a decision by, it makes it easier when you now how long you will be in limbo for. Just tell him exactly how you feel and say that if he wants to stay i the relationship you are prepared to work at it and if he doesnt then to be honest with you so you can both move on, if he is drawing out the inevitable then it is unfair on both of you. Good luck
  12. providentielle
    I know it wont be easy but you have to just give her the time and space she needs to deal with this. You have to understand that had to move on from you and it may be difficult to risk losing her relationship when you and her had a difficult time before. It is never nice to have to tell someone that you want to end things so let her do it in her own time so she can be happy about it and there will be no resentment towards you for rushing her. And just remember, if you love her let her go, if she comes back to you she is yours and if she doesnt then she never was. It will be hard now but will be worth it in the long run. Good luck
  13. providentielle
    ok, if you dont feel you can say it then does she have net access? you could email her the link to this topic and she's know exactly how you felt. Or you could just say "what do you feel about us?" then if she says something positive it will be easier to ask her or she might even do the hard bit for you and say she wants it to be more too
  14. providentielle
    I know you must feel awful right now but please remember you are in control and you must make the decision that makes you happy. My opinion is only that, ultimately you know your relationship best and it must be your choice. I have slightly unconventional views about cheating. I dont believe one night with another person can cancel out everything else that has happened in a relationship. The fact he asked you to marry him shows that he wants you more than some other woman, perhaps he was thinking of asking you at the time and got scared and did some silly things, it is cowardly that he wont admit it but i dont believe infidelity has to equal the end of a relationship. I think the bigger picture here is about your partners comments about your weight and hair etc, he should be telling you that you are wonderful and making you feel good about yourself and being supportive. If I were you i'd tell him how i felt and what i wanted from him and give him a certain period of time to show you he can be the boyfriend he should be before you marry him. Good luck
  15. providentielle
    It sounds as though she likes you so just bite the bullet and ask her! Say something like how would you feel if i suggested our friendship became a relationship?
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