doomed_one

said what i wanted to say, feel better, can be deleted now

Thanks, I know one of my 4th year Engineering friends said... do whatever it takes to get through As for grades, the department seems rather uniterested and told us (yes there was more than one) to sort it out with the professor.... oh they got some very poor professor evaluations from our class... so perhaps karma will take place Thanks for the response, curse the professional programs and their self-esteem destorying ways! `d1

Hey there I'm a 3rd year Engineering student... and university is driving me mad. It was all semidecent up to now.... and well starting with this year it is like I hit a brick wall. The pattern goes like this: a)I study my but off in course xxx (physics, engineering, cs etc) b) I tutor people in my classes to help them understand it as well as I do c) I get massively psyched up the day before the exam, take it easy, light review. Feel very confident d) Exam comes, open the pamphlet, jaw drops... e) Unpleasent result At first I thought I was dumb, and felt useless, I mean you study all this much inly to just sqeeze by the failing line.... but I see many good students struggling in my classes too (and of course the class geniuses are easing through it but they suck and I've come to the relaization that my professors are just pathetic. I mean one prof will teach us stuff... only for us to realize... hey that circuit/diagram... that cant be right.... or hey that graph... thats not even remotely close... My Environmental Studies(its astupid engineering degree requirement) professor... grades pretty much without any rubric or consticeny. I busted my butt off on 2 papers, only to get measly 75%... while the guys who had their paper graded by the TA with more mistakes pull off 80+ ... and when I ask the prof to explain what is wrong... well she dabbles around and really gives me no good reason why a paper with only suggestions and no glaring errors loses 15%. What is with these profs? I really wanted to win a research award (you need a high GPA for it)... but they are killing me this semester..... anyone else feel simlair frustrations? I have reworked my study schedule over and over, I have tried tight very rigid schedules, I have tried loose and relaxed, I do problems beyond what is assigned, I make sure to pay attention in class, take notes... and still.... ](*,) My physics course this semester.. I am busting my BUTT LIKE CRAZY.... and I dont think Ill get more than a 60-70 O_O...... any words of inspiration? Its just so depressing... I try to think positive... but when the world keeps beating you down... after a while its hard to be like "Yaa!!! study hard!" becuase you know the result will be "fail" no matter what you do.... `d1

While I am having a lil trouble believing the whoel ordeal, I will give you the benefit of the doubt Rough times dude. But look at this: -First you thought your gf was pregnant - Crashed yOur car - Dad is ill - Thought you got off the hook, but gf turns out to be pregnant - Bried Suicidal Phase - Issue with gf and parents And now a misscarriage. You went through a lot, but you have made it through! I'm sure it hurts,but you will get through it, as you did all the other ordeals, you have showed you can d1

Thank you so much Normally I do have ppl in class that I study with... actually in my other two courses I had a bunch... this class is weird, and we have many very old ppl who just stick with each other Thanks for your comment though, I feel much better... and yes I have a scholarship riding on this too As long as I pass this test, I'll give the class hell! ~d1

Well I haven't posted here in a bit.. been lurking.. but I guess I'll post now ^_^ So last week was a hectic one, but I was eagerly awaiting thsi weekend as it would be a four day weekend... and all I had is just a chem midterm on wedensday(I hate chem.. but I do well in it so yaaay All I had to do is get through my probability final and machine logic midterm(im in the dreaded summer school us engineers are ecouraged... i.e forced to do). Soo.. the probability went decently it was tough... but getting out of that exam felt so good.. it was the toughest course Ive had to do.. and the fact that it was a condensed 6 week course made it tougher... now all I had was machine logic midterm.. which I felt would be a breeze. (Im takign three courses, probability which is 6 weeks, and chem and machine logic which are full summer). I have been reviewing for the course since day one... not everyday, but well enoguh to say I was on top of the course. We havent had a single assignment in 6 weeks.. which made me nervous... but unlike other courses Ive taken, I really felt I knew the stuff. The day of the test, I reviewed a little, and then chilled 2 hrs before the test going over my notes now and then. I had managed to get a copy of some old midterms (not the same prof... but pratcice is practice), and was super psyched after I didnt find them too difficult. All that was on my mind now was the glorious four day weekend... especially since this is the first weekend in 6 weeks I havent had to spend the entire thing busting my butt off for classes So I got into the test, and well bombed it... I tried my absolute best in the test... but as the time went by the more and more I started feelign hopeless. I'm a good student, and my gpa is one of the top in engineering... but I was completely floored. I tried the strategy of doing the easy ones first, leaving the hard ones last... but really, I felt like I just got hit by a train. The questions were unreal, except for the two "easy ones", the rest were MUCH more complicated then what I had expected at all... honestly after I handed in that test I just felt soooooooo depressed, it was like all my work in those 6 weeks for that coruses was for nothing.... The worst part came after the exam. I figured if I was floored, a good portion of the class should go down with me... which *might* mean a curve! Yes... apaprently a good portion of the class got a copy of this professors old midterm... and what do u know he happened to copy most of the questions word for word from there.... so they were all chittering away how easily it went.... and hwo much it had helped... at that point I just felt HORRIBLE.. I really really feel like I failed the test... I mean everyone tells me not too worry.. but the thing is... I cant help it ](*,) I have a lot riding on this course. For one, if I do fail it, the next test is the final... And in between we have 1 or 2 assigments, so its not like I can do better "next time".... if I do fail I coudl drop the coruse... but the kicker is Im on student loans.. and dropping will put me as a part time student... and I may have to repay my summer loan... in 6 months....and of course I will haev to take it in teh fall... which will make my schedule endlessly harder(it is already bad enough lol) as the class is only available in the evenings This test has been riding my mind all weekend long... and I feel like such a massive failure... I dont even have the results back... but I knwo this professors.. Ive had him before. He is a nice guy, but when it comes to class, it feels like he is there to make sure the class fails... so very unhelpful and cold at times..... If the worst thing happens and I get my F (his questions usually end off being ones where very little partial credit is awarded)... droppingwill save my GPA... but I will be in a sticky situation with the hounds at the loans office... and I will have wasted almost 2 months of my summer.... ugh.... I try to just ignore it and thinki positive, but it jsut keeps coming back one me.. I even tossed the text book out of my room... its somewhere in the living room now... I think Well anyways thanks for listening to me. I just needed to type it out as is driving me nuts, and not letting me sleep ~d1

I have a question. I go to a "commuter" university, and a very good portion of our student population commutes to school via busses and subway. Sometimes I will be sitting on the bus(or standing due to massive overcrowding lol), and there will a cute girl here or there taking the express line to our university. I never have been able to muster the courage to approach a girl just like that. If it is in class, or at a club/bar I find it massively easier as I have something to talk about... but just out of the blue liek that on the bus, no idea What would I say? lol Any tips? I really would like to try this out one day d1

Dear God... I swore I was the only one who felt this way and something was wrong with me O_O..... wish I had some advice or wise words... but all I can say is your not alone.... actually you've made me feel better lol Ever since I've come to this University I've been feeling the same way Just be thankful u have friends... even if u dont connect with them too well... I swear sometimes just having someone to talk to when somehting goes wrong is a blessing On the flip side......you aren't ugly at all, quite cute I do say ~d1

Hi, I have an issue... and I really need help coming up with an excuse. So a guy I know is having his bday today, and well I got invited. He lives on campus and has asked me on a few occasions to come to his dorm parties... well I don't live on campus... campus is an hr away... so I haven't been able to make it He doesnt understand at all why his campus friends(not just me) have trouble making it... hahaha typical on-campusers, they have it too easy Anyways, I was like cool!! I'll come, especially since apparently it will be downtown. I went to tell my parents about me going out tonite... and when they heard the words night club... they actually said no o.O Now I'm 19... and they seemingly have a thing against night clubs.. I tried to reason with them(correction, my mom, my dad was all up for it)... but no can do... they are just strict and well.... since I have finals during the next 2 weeks, they think I should be focusing more on studying for them(which I have been)...... it is frustrating the heck out of me... they do sorta have a point though I don't know how to get out of this now... I really don't want to be a no show... and this guy isnt that understanding... I just can't say "oh my parents..." it would be way to embarrassing... and "studying" or "something came up" won't fly either... on the other hand the only option of going is storming out of the hosue!!! Yeah.... that wouldnt be too good either... Please I really need help.. I need some sort of excuse... does anyone have any ideas? ~d1

Good advice... I will weigh this. I DEFINITELY dont want to string her around... this happen to me before and it hurt so badly. I don't want to ever do that to someone... I will observe her actions for a lil... for now it is just a friendship, I am always careful not to give the person the wrong impression If she starts becoming more explicit, I will have no choice but to come right out and tell her.... hopefully the friendship wont go south.... *sigh* somedays u complain about not beign able to get women... otherdays u complain about keeping them off u Hahahaha Appreciate it everyone ~d1

I have a slight issue... or well at least it is beginning to look like an issue So last semester things didn't go well between this girl I liked at my university... and we sorta had a fall out. Now at the beginning of this semester, amazingly, me and one of her good friends(lets call her Jane)... became amazingly good friends... which I always found weird Now I noticed that she sorta almost had like a split personality In public(aka at school n such), we talk normally... when she gets online or we are alone... it changes a lot... she becomes much more open and such... and well up to now I just thought I was just a place to funnel any issues she had Up to today she seemed to slowly get a bit closer everyday... at first I thought we hit off decently as friends, which is cool. But when we got very alone(like no one around alone) or just online/email... the way she spoke to me rapidly changed... and then came today! I can't really repost the conversation for privacy sake... but this wasn't even flirtation or anything... it was pretty much a few words off from her blatently saying she liked me... at first I thought it was a joke.. but it seemed to proceed through the convo... I joked around a bit and tried to gently steer the conversation around... eventually I had to leave so ya... but it really opened me up to the possibility that this could be very well more than just in my head O_O" Now the issue... well heh... Im not really that interested in her in THAT way. I spoke to a friend, and as guys, his advice is to hit it if u know what I mean But yeah... I mean if I was interested in her... sure... but in this case it be like... shes a cool friend but I don't see anything past that. This is more than just flirtation...I mean flirting is one thing... I have lady friends who flirt around with me but I know they dont mean anything by it This is is different... the whole situation is different. I know it sounds stupid... I mean, Im basing all of this sorta on a gut instinct and some convo's... but the things she says, and how she says them... it just makes me think I'm right about this. If this is the case... what should I do? If two weeks down the road I see her arm in arm with some other guy I will know it was just me hahahaha and feel mighty embarrassed But I just want to hear an opinion outside of my friends w/o gfs whose advice is to "hit it" as long as its female ~d1

So I spent all day day(noon-6) tutoring(for free of course) ppl for our physics midterm tomorrow One lady-firend who I tutored emailed me saying pretty much that I was super awesome for helping her out, and that she gets it now. I came home feeling tired beyond tired... but the email really made me feel super awesome ^_^ Guess there are some thing u cant put a price on ~d1

and for the record... I think Ive never called him on an academic issue... and at most maybe a question or two online b4 an exam I usually try and avoid annoying ppl constantly so I annoy my profs instead Thats why they are there ~d1

Hi I just have a lil question I have a friend who Ive known since I moved here a year ago... and he's a good guy and all, smart as a tack(you dont get A+'s in ENgineering for sittign around...)... but has a habit thats getting to be annoying... He seems to be a nervous kinan guy.... who whenever he has a question calls. And thats great and all, except sometimes he will call... and call again... and call even 5 times in a hour... jsut to ask something bothering him about a COURSE/Test... now I at first didnt mind, if I can help thats great... and during midterms hed call a lot... he joked that I must be getting frustrated b/c of all his calling... but hey it was midterms and our subjects are confusing... now though every little test... an assignment... just over and over... and its getting annoying. I dont have all the answers... and I want to help... but it's like, do you really have to call so much? Midterms week was ok, I mean, I understand 3 tests... 24/7 studying, calls bound to happen. Now its like... an assignment is due... he leaves it to the last minute(im talking 5 hrs b4 due date), and calls... and Im thinking... gee why dont u work on it more ahead of time... I already finished and handed it in(as a side note, no I dont give him answers or netin... he just gets confused and since time is running short, goes for the quickest way to straighten out his probs). And the funny thing is, after tests/exams... he doesnt call Actually... Im beginning to worry that he is just using me because I work hard... I mean last semester I thought being in a group with him would rock! He's Mr.A+++, I work hard and get the tasks done(and gets B's and A's guess who did all the work in the end? I don't know, I really need friends now, Ive been having a hard time making them for some reason since I came here... but I just want to tell him "D00d seriously, must you call so much?" he insists on calling, not instant messaging or an email Any advice on how I can lightly nudge him, and go "hey... must you call me soooo much on academic issues..." ~d1

hahaha, just call me a super good friend for keeping my friend awake in class Plus its not liek I really pay attention, mainly play games on my laptop, and smack him upside the head when he starts nodding off I guess I'll go for the direct approach, whooooowee. Nervous I am Any further advice is still appareciated ~d1

So lately Ive been coming with my friend to his Chem course to kill that hour before my other courses begin Anyway, I have noticed this one rather cute girl who sits near us. Actually, as it turns out, she is in one of my other gen-ed courses, I never noticed her b4 as she rarely comes to that course Anyway.. I was wondering if there are any recommendations of how I could approach her? Up to now hookups have been actually quite random, where I somehow started talking to a girl at some event/party, and we end up doing something later on... so I don't exaclty have 50 notches behind my belt on picking up girls from out of the blue... especially in a course with like 400 people.. so u can bet how hectic it gets when people enter or leave O_O. So um, any advice on how I would go about this? Or at least how I could start this... I can carry things on from there... I just need some sort of a start..... some sort of super cheesy pickup line maybe hahaha ~d1

Thank you for the posts Yes i am in the same pit... except for me it was physics, and it started a huge domino effect slowing down EVERYTHING I appreciate the comments, makes me feel better that I'm not just a studying lunatic I don't plan to cut classes....I cant Or my grad will be pushed too far back. Everyone I seem to know(from Engineering) somehow makes it seem so easy... it's like everything is a breeeze somehow, and they apparently barely study... and still get A++++++.... while here I am busting my * * * off and I started feeling really frustrated Thanks again Ooops btw, I ment 20:1 guy to girl ratio... hahahaha 20 to 1 girl to guy ratio would be awesome My bad. ~d1

So anyway,as the title states I am burned out on school work at the University! I am currently a 2nd year Comp Engineering major.... and really the amount of work and the shear diffuculty is getting to me. I knew it wasnt easy when I started, and I have a regular study pattern. At first the study pattern worked, and I kept on the ball..... good grades, lots of hard work, but able to squeeze in some "Me"-time( parties, friends yadayada). Now it is just getting really overloading.... I'm no real genius... so the only way I every score an A/B on that tets is by studying hard But this "working" hard is getting to me. My last summer vacation was fabulous..... full of course work... like calculus in extremely hot weather(erm... saracsrtic lol).... my winter break was pretty much non existsent, and the week and a halfish I had off I pretty much slept becuase finals had worn me out. I have a continual full course load... and have no room to take any langauge courses(which next to computers is my super-duper-passion ) that and they conflict with all my courses... the next few months look bleak, I pretty much have a test/midterm EVERY week(even on my birthday!)... and on top of that crazy Engineering projects, technical reports, logic assignments, homework, and coding in general...... and then summer... well more sumemr school(technically I should be takng 6 courses a semester, but believe me 5 is already way to much, so I try and "balance" te course load in the summer") Worst of all... I have classes where the GUYto girl (hahah typo before) ratio is pretty much 20:1 and that 1 really is pretty much not anywhere on the attractive scale The "Me"-time I once had has severly been cut, going to a party our out in general is getting very hard, that and well, believe me hit the physics and math books for 5 hrs and after that u just wanna sleep I prob should mention I live off campus, just because it saves me so much money... I mean its pay to live at dorms, or commute 2 hrs a day(1 hr there 1 hr back) I am pretty much always tired, and I now have developed love for all mighty coffee which probably keeps me sane and broke at the same time My day looks pretty much like this: -Wake up 8ish -Dress/Shave/Do hair -Catch bus to subway - School.............. School... DEAR GOD WILL THE DAY EVER END -Home by 4ish - make some dinner, clean up the house study -break -study -midnight w00 sleep. Saturdays involve work related things and sundays church and such with more study and catch up I know many ppl(like my parents lol) will say that just take it easy one day of no work and slacking off wont kill you.... I wish I could say that was true.... but with my current lineup of classes and work.... it will set me back a bit (ex. If I dont do my physics hmwk or at least look at it by fri, I will have a harder time understanding what the new stuff is in class.... and then have ot give up extra time to try and piece it all together.... as a aresult I lose time in otehr classes... and a savage cycle begins I don't know, I'm not about to change majors because of my desire to have it easy... but if there are any engineers out there who maybe can give me some inspiration Id apprecitate it... I mean... the future looks really bleak work and social wise ~d1 P.S if you wish to donate money for my coffee fix, it is much appreciated

Wow... well I suppose an 18yr old cant really bring much to the table... I mean I havent been in any "real" relationships... nor have any business ventures lol.... but I think what you did is wise ignoring her. It probably hurts more that I can imagine, but jsut go a day at a time. If my very crazy life has taught me anything, its that everything happens for a reason... and I bet one day you'll back and think "wow... I dodged a bullet there" ~d1

wow I'm 18.. can't imagine myself with a 15 yr old... n/o it would be too weird o.O But aside that, I had a similar situation actually.... but the friends with benefits really doesnt work if its vague. I thought it would be cool... but reallyl boundries set em and set em good or both parties end off getting hurt Good that he's gone ~d1

I appreciate your criticism and support.. actually I'm just happy someone responded I wish the situation was as easy as I made it seem.... it never is... I have two weeks to cool off... take time away from them... but come new years... I will see them in class.... will be hard

If all of you don't mind, I just want to write this so I feel better... my friends are at school finishng off finals(by school I mean 2nd year University) or sleeping... and this is really bothering me So anyways a month or so back I met this one girl, and she was pretty cool, and with her I met this guy... lets just call them Sally and John(and no John doesnt hook up with Sally We talked a lot, I finally got her to actually get msn so I could chat with her online(her cellphone was pretty deadish.. and wasnt getting a new one till xmas).... John, Sally and I became rather comfortable with each other... maybe friends... or maybe just really good school chums? Well lo and behold, I fell for Sally.... and actually she made going to University worth it!(if you recal I was the one who posted TRICE about how much I hated my life after I had moved back to Canada... let that be a lesson to anyone suicidal/depressed/sad/crushed/down... life does get better!!) I mean just seeing her, talking with her, flirting with her... fantastic!! Then well... I don't know how it happened... but one day we ended off making out... things were a lil akward for a few days... but then things got back on track.... and actually last day of classes we made out again(she lives in the dorms during the weekedays... and with her parents during the weekends... which is close by me)... I told her how much I wanted to "hang out" during break with her... I wanted to more say... go out... but dang it I just really couldnt get myself. So final exams came 2 days later, and I decided, the day after she ends her exams, I ask her out. I had originally intended to ask her out the day b4 exams... but when she came b4 class... she brought a friend... and I got all nervous. All along I had been telling John this... So day after exams came, and I see her on msn, so this is it I think, we start chatting.. and well oddly enuf... she starts telling me about her... friend.... how I'd like her.... how I should... GO OUT WITH HER... this bothered me a lot.... but I was going to go about as planned... but it seemed everytime I started gearing toward it... she quickly changed conversations... I found this strange... but I told her I'd come over the day after my final exam ended(that would of been today)... I had a xmas present to deliver as it was... and I figured face to face she cant avoid me... and if somethings up, I want to know. So Friday comes... and amazingly her friend is on her account(the two were using 1 pc to talk with me)... so I chat with her a bit... and then I get "You're too slow, shes a taken woman now"... I pretty much couldnt believe it...... the day after though I get a email from Sally telling me "I'm sorry how my friend behaved... she sometiems tends to make up lies out of jelousy to bring people down"... this relieved me a little... but I really didnt feel easy... so I emailed her with direct quotes from the conversation log... askign if it was true. Yesterday evening after I got home, the reply came in... yes it was true... I couldnt believe it.... that just a weekn and a half or so ago I made out with ehr... a few days ago Iw as flirting with her in person alot like I usually do.. it hurt a lot... but I figured some guy who had his eye on her had made a move not too long ago, and I had lost I was "down", but I felt no regrets... and thats good right? I liked my plan of action, and well some guy just had made a faster move, no shame in such a loss THis turns out NOT to be true... I was chatting with John at the time.. and tell him... man Im just feel like ****, I'm going to sleep... and he tells me... "man I'm really sorry".... thsi stuck me as odd... how did he know... I talk to him more... this was not a recent occurrence... she was deciding between me and this guy for.... weeks....... and he had known all along.... I don't know, I couldnt stand talking to John at that moment, the fact that he knew, and told me nothing... even if he had been sworn to secrecy or something.... how could he even consider himself my bud.... and watch as this happen? I mean please tell me, am I being unreasonable... but if someone you knew pretty well, and you learned the girl he liked was decidign between 2 guys... isn't it just the "nice" thing to do... to somehow convey this to the person? I know if it was me, I would of simply said "man, I've seen guys eying this girl, I know things are all good between you two, but if you want my advice, do it now"..... no trust is broken, no secrets revealed... just "advice" but very direct... all along he said nothing..... and for teh record, I had no idea this guy even existed... she acted no different to me then previously(until that thursday when I began my ask her out stuff).... I don't know, part of me feels stupid for waiting until finals were over... but I mean I though, 1 week, how can it hurt? I went from no regrets to, WHY DID HE DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!!! We talk daily... and he could of spared me a lot of hurt.... I mean I'm a shy guy, the fact that I got thsi far is mind boggling O_O Thank you for listening Feels good to type it... even if it doesn't change anything.... I wish I had known sooner... my Holidays are pretty much ruined ~d1

Well I am in downtown shes not, but tis good advice, thnx ~d1

Well I'm in a situation that is wel... A GOD SEND.... really So I'm in engineering.... and well that means 0 cute chicks and massive amounts of work.... so I rarely have time to go "girl hunting", which sucks cuz Im a girl crazy guy **For reference, a "message" isnt like aim, more like a mix of myspace and email.... so not very short, but not long*** About a month ago I was checking out the freshman girls(on link removed) coming in this year(I'm ahead of everyone my age in school, so well.... freshman girls will be my age)... and I saw 3 cute girls and was liek why not maybe they will message me back. 1 of them automatically dropped out, the 2nd one I couldnt get more than a few posted comments on my wall, the third one..... actually sent me a PM We havent chatted too much, she is on vacation travelling the bahamas, (I unfortunately had to cancel my vacation plans to Austria and Croatia due to summer courses.... but it seems we both move around a lot lol....) but we did get a few messages in. In her last message she just gives me general chitterchat about how she still has to buy stuff when she coems here, and is late coming moving into dorms compared to others ... and then adds "hey so my dorm is ##### come by and visit me sometime"... I was FLOOORED!!! Now I never really suggested towards that in our 3-4 other messages... I was trying to keep it cool atm, and wait till she actually got here to be like "hey so why dotn we meet up sometime"..... guess she was one step ahead of me. Now I'm psyched, I mean my picture is on thefacebook... and well I'm not ugly or netin(especially when I have my hair spiked ~d1

Haya...... well I really need a dose of reassurance and perhaps someone here can do as such My life is far from perfect, my family has been moving around a lot.... and as such I never really have had many solid friends. To put it in figures, my little bro went through 3 8th grade schools this year(and well there are other moves too, but I wont go into i.... just trust me) I myself started University this year.... and was forced to leave the US to go back to Canada after my 1st semester(I will be now starting my second year) We were on a visa, and a very good opprotunity came up.... and after weighing the pros/cons, it just made sense to not risk our entire lives on a visa renewel This of course sucked, becuases I had established myself really well in my old Uni. I was one of the top students, and made a handful of good friends(with whom I still converse.... sorta). Life was really stressful for me when I came back here, the whole change in school systems was really hard.... but I somehow managed. The thing is, this my life really isn't going the way I hoped it was.... and school, lack of friends etc is really stressing me out. I'm not depressed(far from it), but its just a weird set of feelings I've never had... sort of like a part of me was ripped out I'm in engineering.... and believe me this does not make things better... but I love engineering(computer)... I could not do business or CS.... and even though it is hard I feel accomplished when I complete a class. It just seems, though, that everything I dreamed for once is just getting further out of reach. I really wanted to take German and/or Japanese in college, maybe take an exchange etc..... but it just seems classes interfere so much with it. I have an opprotunity to possible go on a "work" engineering exchange to germany next summer..... but doing so would set me back 3 courses.... and I'm already behind due to transfer credits not going through. I work really hard, actually I have been in school since last august and wont be done summer classes till this upcoming week(after which I get a 4 week break and the back to shcool till next august) It just seems, though, that no matter how hard I work, how well I plan, it just blows up in my face. I would loooooove to take Japanese, or continue German(maybe take that exchange to tokyo or berlin), but for some odd strike of luck these classes have only 1 option and it is during my engineering courses..... which I must take So what do I do? I try to learn it on my own.... I grit my teeth and work picking up where I left german after I came here.... and trying to learn as much japanese as I can(taking it a day at a time). My older brother always tells me "whats the rush, you go to school to get a job..... and you are still young for your age anyway"..... I know he is right.... but I want to get ahead so that I can finally do what I reeeeeeeeallly want to learn.... which is japanese and/or german.... if that is at all possible. I have tried to make friends...... but my school is a commuter school. Most people have more friends outside of the Uni than inside....its just the way it is I know my old school was also a bit like that. When I try to make friends from classes though, most of these people just seem interested in getting answers, code, or help from me..... which is cool..... but then later they dont' really want to talk. Take this one example, a guy and i were supposed to work on an assignment together, help each other out. So we are going to the library, and he says oh u know Ill catch up to you, gonna get a smoke. I go out, and start.... work work work... done! He still isnt here. Later I see him, and he tells me he met some friends and completely forgot(honest mistake..... but still....). I hand out numbers, msn sns..... but still.... when they need me Im their best bud.... otherwise the convos are really dull and go nowhere Though, this sorta makes sense.... I am young for my age.... and well most people I "hang out" with (from class) are in there 20's or late 19s.... I though am still 18... and will be until Februrary Perhaps when I score high on an exam they become intimidated? I dont always score high(I have near failed twice), and never ever brag.... actually Ive lied many times just to "fit in" with the moaning In addition, my older brother is basically the smashing success of the 3 brothers so far.... he works for IBM... and gets paid to travel all over the world and do business with investors etc. Endless brags go about him from my parents, and I really want to be a success like him to.... but it just seems no matter how hard I work things never go as expected. I dont know, perhaps I am a bit overworked..... I mean what sane 18yr old does summer courses like calc volutairly Hahahahaha, and I am not "ugly" looking by far...... but lately I really lack confidence with girls. i remember back in my old University I would go aska girl out, just for kicks.... just to show my guy friends "oh ya, well watch what I can get"... and sure Id get shot down a dozen times.... but for some reason I had the confidence.... now it has just eroded away.... to add to this, my new school groups you by major, so I am stuck with only engineers in all my classes... believe me, not one cutie To add to the final blow, a good friend of mine has seemingly done what he thereatened to do... and ended our friendship. We used to talk ALOT, and he was suicidal.... and sometimes when he got depressed when we would chat he would say stuff like "oh mayeb one day Ill just never come on aim again, and youll never talk to me again"..... after much debate I finally turned him in..... things went well.... and then he just poof, disappeared off aim.... havent heard form him in weeks. I know he is there though, but Im too afraid to ask his sitster because I dont want to believe he did that to me..... its just to sad..... I keep hoping maybe he just is very busy(ya right, he is lazy like heck and has no job or anything and has no time to come on ^_^" Sorry, I try to believe in the best in people I just wanted to type this out... perhaps maybe someone else is in such a situation and can just offer me some reassurance that things do work out in the end Sorry if this sounds like me whinning.... I just wanted to get it off my chest.... need to keep my head clear for finals ~d1 : Appologies for spelling errors, it is late and Im a bit tired