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Thread: Ex and I were about to get back together

  1. #1
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    Ex and I were about to get back together

    My ex girlfriend and I have been broken up for a few months, we started talking recently and everything has been great. I found out that while we were broken up she hung out with a guy she used to have a thing with, I told her that if we ever work things out that right now I am uncomfortable with her being around him. She went to a friends house to talk and hangout and the guy showed up, she told me that he got there and that she was going to leave soon but there were other people there too that she wanted to talk to. I told her that Iím upset and that I am hurt and said she should leave, she was being very kind and responsive to me but still didnít leave yet because she didnít want to be rude to everyone else. She was acknowledged that I felt bad and she said she knew it would make me upset but she had something to tell me. I eventually said a few rude things and told her itís hard to trust her, she leaves and I come over to her house. She told me that she wants to be with me and I was still upset and I told her I donít know if I want to be with her but I do. We had a long conversation and I apologized for the rude things I said and she was very upset. She now said she doesnít know if she wants to be together because I reacted a certain way, which is how I would react to things when we were together and she thought I wasnít like that anymore. I told her Iím not like that and I chose to react this way because I tried to express how upset I was and it felt like she didnít care(which she did) so I was rude. She went home and I went to my house, I am worried that we wonít work things out and thatís what we both really want. I told her Iím not going to react that way again and I want to put all this behind us and she asked me to give her space to relax and think. I feel like I ruined our chances.

  2. #2
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    Originally Posted by Rayray4567
    I am worried that we wonít work things out and thatís what we both really want.
    Are you sure about that?

    Based on this and your previous thread, you want to work things out. It doesn't appear that she really does.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Give her space, do not contact her. Unfortunately the controlling possessive rude aspect she left over reared it's head again. Work on healing yourself, not this situation.Sadly you may have only reinforced her decision to leave and shown her that there have been no changes, just cycles.
    Originally Posted by Rayray4567
    I feel like I ruined our chances.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    So did you mean that in order to get back together she has to do what you want her to do, and she should not do what you don't want her to do?

    I get that boundaries should exist, but they are YOUR boundaries. You choose a partner based on shared boundaries, not on how well they adhere their behavior to yours.

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    Yes Iím sure. She told me earlier that she had something to tell me and when we met up she told me that she wants to be with me.

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    No I didnít mean she had to do what I say, I just told her right now uncomfortable with it and she told me she understands. She didnít mean to be there when he was and I told
    Her that it makes me upset and I think she should leave. And when it took her over an hour to do so I got upset which was wrong

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    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Loosing argument there...you are still the same. This guy is part of her social circle so she can't leave her friends just because he's there...that is so ridiculous to expect her to do that. It's obvious you have always had a trust issue with her, and no matter what she does or syas, that will never change. She realizes this, and I don't blame her for walking away.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rayray4567
    No I didnít mean she had to do what I say, I just told her right now uncomfortable with it and she told me she understands. She didnít mean to be there when he was and I told
    Her that it makes me upset and I think she should leave. And when it took her over an hour to do so I got upset which was wrong
    This has contradiction all over it. That is exactly what you meant.

  10. #9
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    I still don't know how you have changed in two months time. You also have not processed or recovered from the abusive relationship and childhood. Work on your trust and anger issues and forget about a relationship. You are no where ready.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    See where your jealous and controlling ways got you? You have work to do on yourself.

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