Newgirlforever Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 I'm just gonna get straight into it, so my boyfriend told me that he once slept with a prostitute and took drugs but that was all before he met me. I'm a virgin coming from a well to do family and hearing all this from him makes me so uncomfortable. I can't help but feel negative all the time after he said that. I know it's his past and I have no right to be sad but there will always be a part of me that will feel upset cuz of that. Also I just hate it when he tells me to shut the f**k up and calls me a bi*ch (he says he's just kidding but it pisses me off so bad) sometimes he flips me off too .. I haven't confronted him about it yet but I will. We've been dating for 4 months. What should I do? Should I end it with him? I love him but all this is driving me crazy or am I just overreacting? Please help me thanks! Love ya'll 💕🔥 Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 This guy? https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=549391 The previous thread combined with this one leads me to only one suggestion: get out now. Link to comment
Newgirlforever Posted August 12, 2018 Author Share Posted August 12, 2018 Yup. That guy Link to comment
boltnrun Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 Not sure why you're confused. He's been lousy to you from the get go. Or maybe you're confused about why you choose to put up with his poor treatment. Link to comment
Newgirlforever Posted August 12, 2018 Author Share Posted August 12, 2018 Do you think I should tell him all this? That his past and the his behavior bothers me Link to comment
DanZee Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 Also isn't this an Internet romance and you've only met him a few times? Girl, get yourself a real boyfriend. The Internet is full of jerks like him! Link to comment
Newgirlforever Posted August 12, 2018 Author Share Posted August 12, 2018 Yea I met him on Tinder. It's a long distance relationship btw ya'll Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 Yea I met him on Tinder. It's a long distance relationship btw ya'll Just dump this clown already. Surely this is not your best option? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 He's an abusive jerk end this asap. Everyone has deal breakers. Do not try to be politically correct when dating. Do not try to be a rebel or defy parents when dating. If something is a deal breaker, red flag or turn off, it's best to cut your losses. All this info and most of all verbal abuse means you need to cut him off and delete and block him. my boyfriend told me that he once slept with a prostitute and took drugs but that was all before he met me. hearing all this from him makes me so uncomfortable. I can't help but feel negative all the time after he said that.he tells me to shut the f**k up and calls me a bi*ch Link to comment
SGH Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 You're a virgin, so my guess is you haven't had a lot of long-term relationship experience. You are absolutely right to feel uncomfortable about your boyfriend's past, because it shows you have a huge difference of values. Also, it is never okay for a partner to speak to you like that, even if they say they are joking. Take the advice of people on the forum to end this relationship. Your first big relationship should be with someone local anyway. Link to comment
kathy679 Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 Youve answered your own question, he upsets you when he calls you nasty names and tells you to shut up. Thats really disrespectful! Start putting yourself first and walk away to someone who will worship you. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 He swears at you, has slept with a prostitute, has done drugs.....what else do you need to know?!!? Dump him. That's one you don't want to take home. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 So we just started dating and it's been a few weeks and we had a argument. So today we didn't get to talk much because I was busy and he was as well but I still made time to call him and I was the last person to text him and also I snapped him. So I thought he was pretty busy cuz tomorrow he's got a wedding to attend to a place far away with his friends and I figured he'd be busy. So I didn't contact him until he did. Later at night he texts me and says that I deliberately didn't text him and got real mad at me. I feel he's got some ego problem. I told him that I thought he was busy packing for tomorrow but he just says he's tired and goes to me, shutting me out. I feel so upset. What do I do. How do I deal with this dude. I love him but I feel this is pretty immature of him to get mad at me for a silly reason. I asked him what's wrong with him and he leaves me on read (on WhatsApp).. Please help me ya'll thanks 😢😢😢😢😭 The irony of all this is, if you dont end things, you will be that girl a year from now on the healing after breakup forum posting about how heartbroken you are because he left you or how miserible you are with your boyfriend and you dont know what to do and people will convince you hes a narcissist and youre a true victim of all his actions. Its like a slow moving train wreck, I can see it happening. The reality is, the dudes not boyfriend material, he has his own demons that make him a non option, but your self esteem is so low you are convincing yourself you can ignore or fix these huge red flags. Dont be that girl a year from now, healing from the sting of walking away after 4 months vs healing for the mental toll this relationship will have on you is monumental, do yourself a favor, get out now. Link to comment
Newgirlforever Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 He tells me that he's serious about me Link to comment
boltnrun Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 He tells me that he's serious about me Does this seem like someone who's "serious" about you? "Also I just hate it when he tells me to shut the f**k up and calls me a bi*ch (he says he's just kidding but it pisses me off so bad) sometimes he flips me off too " Is this the love relationship you've always dreamed of? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 Do you think I should tell him all this? That his past and the his behavior bothers me No. Your silence will convey the message loud and clear. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 Sounds like an abusive loser. Don't understand why you tolerate this behaviour! Link to comment
SGH Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 He tells me that he's serious about me Words are cheap. He's showing you who he is when he disrespects you. Being serious about you doesn't mean he has the right personality or values, and it definitely doesn't make you compatible. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 He tells me that he's serious about me So? His actions indicate otherwise. I don't know how much relationship experience you have, but this is not the behaviour of a man who is serious about a woman. Again, I will ask, surely you have better options that this? You seem to be hanging on because he gives you some attention (albeit quite negative sometimes) and you would rather put up with a jerk than be alone. Correct? Link to comment
kathy679 Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 He tells me that he's serious about me These are just words. His actions say another thing entirley Link to comment
bluecastle Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 Listen to figureitout. Like, for real. You are already so far from a healthy, sustainable thing here. Drugs, a prostitute—you're either cool with that or you're not, and you're not. No shame in that—that's a big pill to swallow for a lot of people. So, move on. Most important, this guy is treating you terribly—any more contact with him is a reward, sending the message that this treatment is acceptable. In other words, you're cementing a messed up dynamic that, as the cement dries, will just leave you in tatters. Go back to swiping. Your feelings for this guy will fade quickly, and you'll find yourself engaging with a much more compatible and kind person before you know it. At which point you'll look back on all this and just kind of shrug and laugh. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 All abusers use that hook.He tells me that he's serious about me Link to comment
superfan Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 .....you're with this person why???? He treats you badly and has a shady sexual history. DUMP HIM Link to comment
Qwerty55 Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 Yea I met him on Tinder. It's a long distance relationship btw ya'll Tinder. That explains why this relationship is unhealthy. I can assure you 99.9% of the people are NOT serious when it comes to tinder. Date a local instead. Get out of this relationship Link to comment
LaHermes Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 So it IS the same individual. A highly unsuitable individual! You got great advice back then, and evidently did not take that advice. Why are you still with this person? He has nothing to offer you. You said then you met him on Tinder, he is long distance. One poster (among others) back then told you in plain terms that he is an abusive jerk. Surely you can do better. And this is meaningless chatter. "and calls me these lovey dovey names. " Nothing special about babe and sweetie. Common currency. I brought up this thread so we can see where you are at today, 2 years later! Link to comment
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