Is this me being too jealous?

In the past, I have had guys who called other girls pretty and that really bugged me. I guess now I don't have any tolerance for that kind of behavior. Today my bf's friend brought up a girl from his past, his school days and how pretty she was. He went on to say that she turned guys heads. He does compliment me a lot, but this really struck a cord in me. I never bring my exs in that way because I know it isn't necessary. thoughts?

I personally find it disrespectful and I wouldn't dream of commenting on other guys' looks in front of my partner. They can say what they like to their friends etc but I would have to ask that they don't do it in front of me.

I personally find it disrespectful and I wouldn't dream of commenting on other guys' looks in front of my partner. They can say what they like to their friends etc but I would have to ask that they don't do it in front of me.

I think its the way he said it, wouldn't have bothered me that much is he said she was attractive.

Wait what?

Your bf's friend said it or your bf? Who's ex was he talking about? Bf's or your bf's friend?

Lost

Wait what?

 

Your bf's friend said it or your bf? Who's ex was he talking about? Bf's or your bf's friend?

 

Lost

my bf said that about his ex when his friend mentioned how other guys would stare at her.

I think it's bit disrespectful to say so in front of you. A "yeah, she's good looking" would suffice. His friend wasn't also very tactful in bringing it up like that in front of you.

I think you are being jealous and insecure.

Does your bf's friend have a bromance with him? Sounds like the comment of a guy who is jealous of his buddy's gf, to create dissent. What would I have said? Can you two discuss whose pretty when I'm not around? That subject's kind of boring.

I'm not seeing an issue. Sounds like a comment in passing. It's not like he mentioned how much he misses her rack.

I don't see an issue with his comment either. Your reaction says more about your own insecurities than anything else. Now that you have a boyfriend, are you supposed to not find anyone else attractive? Is he not supposed to find anyone else attractive?

I don't see the big deal, unless he does it a lot. You are coming off as quite insecure.

In the past, I have had guys who called other girls pretty and that really bugged me. I guess now I don't have any tolerance for that kind of behavior. Today my bf's friend brought up a girl from his past, his school days and how pretty she was. He went on to say that she turned guys heads. He does compliment me a lot, but this really struck a cord in me. I never bring my exs in that way because I know it isn't necessary. thoughts?

Depends on the context, a GF and I can agree that a woman is attractive without me slavering about it. That would be disrespectful.

When we first started dating, my ex used to make comments about other women.

I knew he was doing it to elicit a reaction so I would respond "Yeah she is! Beautiful!". Then dismiss the comment, change the subject like it didn't affect me at all. Even though it kinda did tbh.

I tolerated a lot of disrespect from him back in those days (my bad). He eventually stopped making comments like that and behaving in other disrespectful ways, but I wonder if this is why men do this.

To elicit a reaction, cause some drama who knows. Nothing surprises me anymore.

A guy I used to date would exclaim (loudly, in public) "Look at that big one over there!" or "Look at the huge on that one!" I didn't feel jealous but it was certainly disrespectful to women in general.

So I started shouting "Look at that one over there with the huge !!"

He got the hint and stopped being an insensitive, embarrassing boor.

However, it doesn't seem like your boyfriend comments on women in general, just his ex who was pretty. That doesn't mean he doesn't think you're pretty!

Would you have felt jealous if he'd said she was super intelligent?

I think the subject of "looks" is a real sore spot with some women, even if she is super attractive herself.

I admit to feeling this way myself depending on what was said, how he said it.

Not sure why, perhaps it's because so many men are visually-oriented and franky so focused on women's looks themselves; how "hot" she is whatever before deciding to date her.

I find this talk kind of irritating even if it’s people who I’m not dating talking about it. When it is someone who is with me I consider it disrespectful and rude, depending on the context and what was said.

I think some people are cool with it and some people aren’t. If you’re not then you can always ask him to not talk about other women in front of you, just like you would not talk about other men in front of him so as not to hurt his feelings. We all find others attractive but we can save that talk for our friends.

Unless the comments are disrespectful in general or your BF shows other signs of wanting to really be with other women, I don't see a problem here. There are many woman out there hotter than you and many who are not. Your bf is with you because he likes you.

I think the subject of "looks" is a real sore spot with some women, even if she is super attractive herself.

 

I admit to feeling this way myself depending on what was said, how he said it.

 

Not sure why, perhaps it's because so many men are visually-oriented and franky so focused on women's looks themselves; how "hot" she is whatever before deciding to date her.

He hit a sore spot for me. W/my 1st ex, it started w/him making comments about past girls. He then turned into saying my friend was pretty cause she reminded him of his ex and calling another woman hot. He saw absolutely nothing wrong w/these comments and I held back on my jealous because my mom said I would chase away a guy due to my how jealous I am. Now I'm a lot a less tolerant for that kind of behavior and I know if I said that, he would not be happy.

I don’t know, if it was his last girlfriend or somebody that he just went out with recently then I can see you getting upset. But if it was someone from his “school days“ as you said, I’m assuming it was a long time ago? Then you have nothing to worry about and I don’t think it was very disrespectful.

I often chime in on a woman's appearance, agreeing that she's attractive, etc. Heck, I might be the first to point hit out.

But . . . I might not care for my man discussing how hot his ex was in front of me.

At least say it when I am not around. To do so in front of me seems insensitive.

Turn it around. Would he appreciate you telling someone else how handsome your ex was in front of him?

It's just tacky, that's all.

Common sense.

I often chime in on a woman's appearance, agreeing that she's attractive, etc. Heck, I might be the first to point hit out.

 

But . . . I might not care for my man discussing how hot his ex was in front of me.

 

At least say it when I am not around. To do so in front of me seems insensitive.

 

Turn it around. Would he appreciate you telling someone else how handsome your ex was in front of him?

It's just tacky, that's all.

Common sense.

Beat me to it!