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thornz

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Everything posted by thornz

  1. OK so the texts, they're not urgent, he is away this week and I am away at the weekend so no opportunity to see each other any time soon. He made a statement about my living situation, then later text me to ask whether my housemate was male or female and sent me a pic from the hotel. If I'm being totally honest the main reason I haven't text back is because his statement about my living situation hurt my feelings and I didn't want to respond when I was upset and tbh I'm not certain whether he was being rude and critical or if I was hurt because it's a particularly touchy subject for me. I a
  2. I think the main thing is I had an awesome date and am feeling like I'm finally in a good place for dating where I'm just in the moment enjoying the other person instead of fretfully analysing their behaviour for signs of whether they will hurt me or be abusive. Looking forward to more fun dates whether they are with him or other people 😊
  3. Hello all, last night I got a severe migraine which has lasted until now. Had to take the day off work today as it didn't go away with sleep like usual. Typically my migraines follow a mood swing like giddiness or sadness so maybe the date wasn't much to do with what I was feeling lol. Might have been more the migraine than anything else 🤔 Starting to feel a bit recovered from my migraine and now I'm feeling a lot more grounded. Had to cancel my other date tonight due to being ill. To answer some queries, we didn't kiss, at least not on the mouth. He went in for a peck, I told him he co
  4. I think this was good advice, I wouldn't say I'm worried, I'm feeling good, somewhat fascinated by the new sensation, mostly confused haha. I am aware I need to not overthink or I will cause problems for myself. Just seeking advise on what to do to avoid that. Its easy to say, don't overthink it but that's not necessarily easy to do. I usually play badminton when I'm thinking too much but that's not on until Friday!
  5. I would say I'm being logical, I'm aware I don't know him, I'm aware he could be full of Bee Ess, I am not interested in jumping into a relationship overnight. Would like to go on more dates to get to know him and find out more about him. Keeping my options open. I have dates lined up with other people who are interesting. I don't think I've gone too googly eyed, though I can see that might have been the impression from my first post. Just not used to feeling like this after a date and not really sure what to make of it. It's a nice feeling but a bit confusing tbh. I am not the type to get
  6. So, I had a date yesterday, didn't have any expectations but was hopeful that the chemistry via text would relate to real life. It did! Instant connection and all the important things I'm looking for, common interests and values appear to be there. He made it very clear he was keen and I reciprocated to a lesser degree (I'm in no rush to get married off haha). We have agreed to go on a date again next week. Problem is, I'm shocked, I've not experienced this before (maybe when I was younger and didn't have a definitive idea of what I wanted so good chemistry was enough). The guy is in my he
  7. I think I follow and you are interpreting focus on myself literally. By focus on myself I mean reducing any activities that I feel require energy (such as social interaction with people I am not bonded to, and some I am that are a bit higher maintenance) and increasing any activities that make me feel recovered, energised, happy and may include activities that require literally focusing on myself such as introspection and certain types of meditation and activities that include focusing externally such as badminton, swimming, socialising. By focus on myself I mean put my needs first as much as
  8. I didn't see that post! I think the conclusion to that thread was that I should take a break from dating and generally try and be more positive. I took a break, feel more positive overall and decided I would try dating again when I had less on my plate. Unfortunately I'm a person who likes a lot on my plate so I need to work on that since doing a hundred things plus dating is not sustainable. I find relationships (of any kind) generally can take a lot out of me, social skills take a lot of effort etc. I don't pick up on social cues like others seem to. I was actually discussing this wi
  9. Unfortunately I have a hard time figuring these things out so I'm very glad this forum exists for a 2nd, 3rd and 23rd opinion lol. I have got better at trusting my gut but still sometimes I'm uncertain, particularly regarding issues I am sensitive about, the relative ones in this instance being invasion of my space, respect of my boundaries and my ability (or lack) to assert myself when I feel uncomfortable with someone's behaviour. Given my sensitivity I wanted to check I wasn't going to knee jerk a guy out of a chance because I wrongly interpreted his behaviour as inappropriate. After the re
  10. Excuse me, that's not what's going on here. I have been "following through" with dates. Quite happy to date people who don't make me feel uncomfortable with their behaviour and the reason I asked for advice is because I was second guessing whether to still meet him since we had so much in common. After the advice I thought I wasn't being too paranoid after all and to move on from him.
  11. I took a break for about 3 months.
  12. Where are you getting 7 days from? It was Sunday, next week is the next day. If it's such a big mistake to give your number out before the exact point you want to make arrangements then clearly I'm doomed to being a spinster 😂
  13. Last time I was on dating sites I was so exhausted and stressed by juggling dating, working, studying, exercising and socialising I would come home from work and just cry, I would have studies to do and just cry and I had date after date after date with no connection and just cry. Something had to give to make room for more self care and it wasn't going to be my career or health. Got no study commitments until next year so might be able to date without having an emotional meltdown every 5 minutes this time lol.
  14. Why is he asking to have sex already? I would not meet him again for that reason alone. Guy is jumping the gun!
  15. I agree I may be coming accross negative, I would put that down to being exhausted and finding this particular guy a chore. I find that kind of behaviour extremely draining. I love meeting new people and have met some lovely people online but when it comes to dating sites experience has taught me you do need to do A LOT of weeding out of weirdos, because it's full of them. I had a "date" already that weekend and enjoyed it. There is a guy I just gave my number who I'm very much looking forward to hearing from and meeting. I find the weeding a chore more than the dating but overall I seem t
  16. I'm bi and will meet females as well, though not necessarily for dates. Met one of my good friends via Tinder lol.
  17. I wasn't just busy, I was knackered after working pretty much 6am til 9pm most days for almost 3 weeks. I already had 2 "dates" planned that weekend plus I had loads of important paperwork and housework to catch up on after working my butt off to meet my uni project deadline and doing overtime at work after completing the uni stuff to catch up on the week I had off work. I had to clean my car for said dates as it was a mess and I'd have been embarrassed to drop anyone off in it (Neither of my intended dates had a car) I worked until 9:30pm Friday and had to cancel my plans to play badminto
  18. I told him I don't want to meet as we're not a good match and he disregarded my wishes not to take a call at that time. He responded that he didn't disregard it and we should still meet up 🙄 blocked him on there and my phone. Can't figure out how to do so on my apps so hopefully he won't try that way lol
  19. I don't think I lacked enthusiasm, he said he would like to meet, I agreed, volunteered my number and told him to text me to arrange a meeting. That seems like pretty OK give and take to me. Then he decided that wasn't suitable and got pushy and I suspect like you he's probably clingy at best. I agree I could have been more specific and said contact me tomorrow at 6pm if you're free and we can arrange a meeting but I suspect he would still have rung me within 5 minutes anyway. I told him I don't think we're a match and don't want to meet. He's still pushing for a meet. Doesn't understand t
  20. Whether I was busy or not is irrelevant, I made it clear I didn't want to chat that evening. FYI I am knackered and the last thing I was interested in was chatting to a stranger. Next week was only a day away hardly a long time to wait to make arrangements. If I messaged him the next day and said text me this week so we can make arrangements to meet up, what difference does that make? The fact is he asked if I wanted to chat, I made it clear I didn't yet he still rang me anyway. What I expect is the basic courtesy I would give him which is to arrange a time to call or meet that is convenie
  21. He messaged me again last night asking how my day went and did I fancy a chat, he could call me back. It was 11pm! I told him ring me tomorrow or Thursday but text me beforehand and I'll let him know when I'm free. Going to message him this morning and tell him on seconds thoughts I don't think we're a good match because I value my personal space and he doesn't. Much like Batya I don't see any point in messaging online for weeks or even months on end. That isn't how you get to know someone and it's easy to build up a false impression of them. Also you can't gauge attraction via a screen so
  22. I do get a bit of a buzz out of trying to figure people out I will admit. I don't try play therapist or excuse their behaviour though. If I'm proved right then good riddance, if not then let's see how it goes 😁
  23. Yes I have had strangers on dating sites and in real life and even on a date take offence or dislike either my personality or sense of humour and that is a good thing imo. Weeds out those who we are not compatible with or who need a sensitive touch (absolutely not for me). I have strangers on dating sites harass me even if I dont acknowledge their original message. They get blocked. Dealing with people who don't like you or are offended by you, who you don't like or are offended by is part and parcel of online dating. If offending people and potentially getting a bit of slack for it mean I don
  24. My gut is telling me he is distrusting because of being chested on and is eager to see if I have a bf I'm hiding etc by trying to nosy on my fb and ring me unannounced (sort of) I'm not interested in dealing with that baggage. Will see how he behaves but definitely on guard with this one.
  25. I also already told him "I am uncomfortable with you continuing to text when I have explained I am busy" in my own direct way which was "Here's my number, text me next week" lol I will get him to call me next week and see how I feel about meeting him but certainly not holding out much hope that he won't turn out to be a pushy weirdo. Chatting to someone else who seems a lot more respectful so will see if he is available too.
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