She wears revealing clothing

My girl has this one shirt that just can't stand. It's so low and so loose that even when she just stands up straight you can see the gap between her breasts. If she kneels or bends over you can see everything up to but not including her nipples.

She knows I don't like it, I never told her not to wear it I just ask her if she could wear a cami cover under it and she doesn't because she doesn't think it's revealing.

What do I do?

I guess I'm confused as to why it bothers you so much. Really all you can to is decided how big of a deal it is for you, and if you really want it to be a battle or not.

Leave it. It's not your job to police her clothing, and you've already told her how you feel about it.

Forgot to mention she is still in school, so she will get a lot of gawks.

Her body, her clothes. You aren't her parents.

Learn to pick your battles. This isn't worth it

You can't do anything and as matter of fact you don't have the prerogative to do something .

So if I don't want to be with a girl that dresses like she's single and going to a club, then what?

So if I don't want to be with a girl that dresses like she's single and going to a club, then what?

The obvious

So if I don't want to be with a girl that dresses like she's single and going to a club, then what?

You break up. And you find a girl that dresses to your liking. But it's not for a boyfriend to police a girlfriend's clothing.

If it's that big of a deal then break up with her and find someone who only wears ankle length skirts and turtle necks.

Actually, if you are this insecure you should probably be single for awhile.

My guess you were aware of her fashion sense when you signed up to be with her but it's a problem for you now?

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Forgot to mention she is still in school, so she will get a lot of gawks.

Don't you think that is why she wears it?

So if I don't want to be with a girl that dresses like she's single and going to a club, then what?

That's easy. Don't be with her. I am sure there is a line of guys to take your place.

See, I dress very conservatively and my ex used to tease me and say "it wouldn't kill you to show some skin". Does that sound creepy? When you try to alter what a woman wears based on your taste and what you prefer, you look very controlling! In fact, you come off very possessive and that isn't very good.

If you were say, taking her to church, it'd be a fair thing to tell her that her attire isn't appropriate, but in any other context, she's free to dress how she likes just like you are. Equality, no?

If you are honestly this uncomfortable, you should really reevaluate why that is. Are you over sexualizing her and think she should be covered up and hidden? Do you think she's purposefully trying to lure in other guys? If either of these are the case, you need to try and change your view on women or contemplate your jealousy.

If you aren't willing to rethink this, then you should find a girl that suits your personal world view.

So if I don't want to be with a girl that dresses like she's single and going to a club, then what?

It's one top. If you don't like how she dresses, you shouldn't be with her. But why get with her if you don't like how she dresses?

Is this the same girl that wanted to go to a nude beach but didn't want you to go?

If it is she doesn't have any problems showing off her body but you have problems with others seeing it.

What is your fear? That some guy will see her cleavage and steal her away from you? Are you super conservative and believe women should be covered up?

It would help to understand why you don't like her dressing like that. Now if she dresses like that when you go to church I could see you having a problem but if it is only one blouse and she wears it out with you not on girls nights out then is all this really worth it?

Lost

I think we need a photo to decide how appropriate it is for her to wear this!

Seriously, if she is going out with you, what does it matter? I want my girl to look hot!

And it means you can look do her shirt and cop a feel when you want! Pda!

Do you want to be her boyfriend or father?

She is a big girl. Don't let insecurities ruin relationship.

I would also like to know if this is the same girl that wanted to go to the nude beach. My advice depends on this question, because the nude beach girl obviously had issues with sex.

So if I don't want to be with a girl that dresses like she's single and going to a club, then what?

Break up with her. But don't try to control her dress.

I don't see a problem really with her shirt.

I'd echo the break up with her sentiments.

That said, it's something I'd roll my eyes over if it were my girlfriend and I'd question why she needs that kind of attention. Same principle as if I were to wear a sleeveless t-shirt cut down the sides. No real reason to sport that kind of wear unless you're hunting for attention you should be content simply receiving from your partner.

But you can't control her, nor should you try to.

JohnAlan,

Don't let anyone in this thread tell you that you don't have a right to feel how you feel. If the top bothers you on some level, it bothers you on some level. Nobody can tell you you're wrong for that. And sharing that with your girlfriend isn't "wrong" and it isn't "controlling" and it isn't setting yourself up as her father or "policing" her wardrobe. You should be able to tell someone that you're in a committed relationship that something they're doing really bothers you. Especially if you can articulate why it bothers you.

That doesn't mean you have the right to demand that she stop or try to manipulate her into stopping. That would be controlling. But expressing your feeling about? If you're not "allowed" to do that, then why have a relationship at all.

Whether or not the top is "too revealing", the fact that she knows it bothers you and doesn't care should tell you a lot about how she feels about your relationship.

JohnAlan,

 

Don't let anyone in this thread tell you that you don't have a right to feel how you feel. If the top bothers you on some level, it bothers you on some level. Nobody can tell you you're wrong for that. And sharing that with your girlfriend isn't "wrong" and it isn't "controlling" and it isn't setting yourself up as her father or "policing" her wardrobe. You should be able to tell someone that you're in a committed relationship that something they're doing really bothers you. Especially if you can articulate why it bothers you.

 

That doesn't mean you have the right to demand that she stop or try to manipulate her into stopping. That would be controlling. But expressing your feeling about? If you're not "allowed" to do that, then why have a relationship at all.

 

Whether or not the top is "too revealing", the fact that she knows it bothers you and doesn't care should tell you a lot about how she feels about your relationship.

So the OP should not DEMAND that his girlfriend cater to his insecurities. He should state how it makes him feel (implied request), and that's not "wrong".

But if she doesn't cater to his insecurities, her feelings about wanting to continue to freely dress as she pleases is "wrong."

"I'm not making a DEMAND you do something which panders to my insecurity -- I'm just telling you how I feel. That's all. It's just that if you don't act on my implied REQUEST, you don't care about me."

Actually, such a REQUEST becomes a DEMAND. And an erroneous conclusion. Maybe she wants the relationship as much as she likes wearing slinky tops/not being dictated to, and he's forced her to choose. Any chance that's not fair?

He has a right to tell her how to dress, but she doesn't have a right to reject that -- that is, if she still wants a relationship. That's the very definition of controlling behavior. Because obviously, he's not going to put a dagger to her throat to make her dress as he wants her to -- the threat is, I won't stick around (after x number of days, weeks, or months resenting you).

And in that case, I think OP should break up with her. I don't think there ought to be a dresscode once someone enters a relationship.

I just really bristle at this level of possessiveness parading as "just feelings." Feelings aren't inherently bad until you let them govern your life, behaviors, and relationships and some of them, when they persist, make you unfit for an emotionally mature/healthy relationship.

JohnAlan,

 

Don't let anyone in this thread tell you that you don't have a right to feel how you feel.

I don't think the posters here are telling him he doesn't have a right to his feelings. He stated clearly in the first post that she's aware of his feelings, and he wants to know what his next step should be. That's when posters told him there is no next step. Because there really isn't, short of breaking it off with her if it bothers him that much.