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nutbrownhare last won the day on May 14 2019

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About nutbrownhare

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  1. 'Pear-shaped' is also used in the UK to describe a physical shape - as you say, with narrow shoulders/small breasts and wide hips/large buttocks. It's all a question of context!
  2. This is true. So don't have anything to do with them! From what you're saying here, you seem far more concerned about how they're feeling, and not wanting to hurt their feelings, than you are about your own wellbeing and safety. If you feel uncomfortable around someone, then don't hang around. If they don't like it, that is really, really not your problem. So... a guy you weren't interested in asked you out. That's not at all unusual, and unless there's something you've not mentioned here, I don't see why it would be offensive in any way. If you're not interested, then politely decline
  3. If you're attractive, you're likely to get unwanted attention from men. Most of it can be safely ignored, but there are times when it might risk getting beyond that - and that's where assertiveness comes in. Look upon it as a life skill. Some men are real sleazeballs, but that about them, NOT about you! Don't ever treat that kind of rubbish as a reflection of your worth. If someone's getting too close, there's nothing wrong with telling them that you're enjoying their company but right now they're invading your personal space. If someone invites you back for coffee, politely decline - un
  4. Some of the most messed-up people I know are clinical psychologists; I knew them before they did their training, and I sometimes wonder how effective they are in practice.
  5. My advice to you is to put these messed-up, unhealthily enmeshed women behind you - and run like the wind. As MissCanuck says, you've dodged a huge bullet. Someone with healthy boundaries keeps their personal life and professional ones separate, especially with a very needy client like Lisa. Hopefully there will come a time when you look back and realise what a sordid soap opera it all was, and feel grateful that you're not mixed up in it any more. Until then, don't even consider any further contact/interventions/reporting to professional bodies because that will keep you mired in it - and
  6. I can really understand where you're coming from, OP. It seems that you're really making an effort to be cool with your partner, so that you can feel secure with him. Unfortunately you and he are coming from very different places. You're saying that you feel you're a 'second option' to him, and that you're worried you might be in for a repeat of his last relationship. In truth, you're probably not a 'second option', because as things stand he can have both of you, in some sense - making himself feel valued and sought-after. Rather than worrying about what might happen in the future, it's m
  7. Please... in these dark days, one thing that really isn't rationed or in danger of running out is the ability to give comfort and support to others, if we choose to. If we don't, that's fine, and nobody should feel compelled to be sympathetic if they don't feel it. However, there's no need to make a point of not being sympathetic. "Be Kind!"
  8. I can totally understand where the OP is coming from. Sometimes we need to detach completely from someone we know will damage us, now and in the future - and that's where NC helps so much with the healing process. However, at some stage there must have been attraction, or love, or strong positive feelings, or there wouldn't have been a relationship in the first place, and getting over this loss happens in its own time irrespective of how we're growing in other ways, or, indeed taking a rational approach to moving on. Sometimes it can be unsettling when the positive aspects get revisited une
  9. I guess this is a really significant cultural difference between the US and the UK. Interesting viewpoint j.man.
  10. I watched a couple of the first series and it freaked me out so much that I couldn't watch any more. However, and I'm not sure about this, but I think it was fiction and not a documentary. Though this sort of thing could be a self-fulfilling prophecy I guess.
  11. It seems you're not the only one. I just wish that people would realise that this is a virus which with care and sensible (and preferably unselfish!) precautions can be contained. Not a zombie apocalypse!
  12. Yes, as Wiseman says - smoking what? Is this guy regarding you as a project, someone he can rescue, in exchange for using you for sex when he feels like it?
  13. and Are you saying that she does want him back, or that she doesn't? Either way, she's going to be in his life in some capacity or other for a while, and you need to ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship where there are three of you.
  14. This ^^^. Or to put it another way, you can trust him to cheat, lie and spend a fortune on a fantasy woman!
  15. As we all get older, the incidence of breast cancer increases. I know many women - friends and acquaintances - who have had breast cancer; every single one of them has made a full recovery. It doesn't stop that horrible feeling of panic and dread, though, when you first hear the news. Sending love and healing thoughts to you all.
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