mavrick

Hey all, I am looking for someone who can help and give some advice on my situation.. It would really be nice if you could drop me a line about this..pls. I really dont want to bore you with my history but pls bear... pls. 1) I had this long distance relation ship with a girl for 2 yrs..lets say sam. 2) Many times we had a fight related to trust etc stuff due to a person (lets say mike) who is her friend. 3) She then told me that she doesnt look at me as she did -- 'like a lover'...and all she wants is to be just friends. She told me this when i had came to her city --- this was when she was just about to leave my place.. and somehow she read my face about how bad i was feeling even though i agreed to it. The next day she called and said that everything is alright and she loves me. She had called me for consecutive days whenever she got an opportunity. But after 10 days she didnt.. and then she didnt call for a month (during this period I used to call her). 5) Then one day she called and said that she doesnt want to be in a relationship -- she wants her future to be uncertain. I said but that day you did told me that u loved me -- she said ya i had changed and i changed back.. but now i have changed again. 6) Ok... fine again -- i posted her a letter in which i had written about how much i missed her everyday -- from the moment i had came to this city.. i wrote about how i still cherish her childhood photo she had given me. I wrote that i didnt want to be a jerk due to the reason that i still love her.. and didnt want to destroy this fdship and any relationship we shared due to this. 3 days later i talk -- and she's fine.. i mean she said that she was going to call me. And she said - that dont worry etc (in the way we used to talk-softly). 7) After about 20 days i had called her -- she had a party that day. I talked to her for 20 mins and she told me about how the party went fine and how she had enjoyed. She told me about every boy she had danced with etc.. later that day i came to know from my friend that she was with the mike all day (the one bcoz of whom we used to fight due to mistrust and things i knew about that guy). I called her again and said that she can tell me anything she wanted and she could have told me about that boy -- on this she snapped (might be obvious) and said that i am nobody to tell her what she should tell and what she should do.... that its not necessary and possible to tell each and everything that happened.. and said that she told me all what had come accross her mind. My intention in calling was to let her know that she could tell me everything cuz already our fdship was in so much trouble ... i tell you she was really angry and said that it is me who is disturbing and destroying our fdship. I called her sister and told her what had happened (cuz she is my fd too -- she is 4 yrs elder to her -- but doesnt know about my history with her).. she said to relax and take things easy and this sort of a thing happens in fdship. Yesterday me and my fd were checking emails and he got one from sam -- about fdship etc.. i saw the address bar to know to whom she had sent this -- everybody was there in her contact list except me. I called her sister (random) and told me that sam was really pissed off at me.. i dont know what to do now -- as i really care for that girl... i really want her back... i really care for her.... i am too depressed with all this stuff. i dont enjoy doing anything now -- i cant talk to her -- cuz her sister warned that this might not be the best thing to do ... and i cant do anything. Pls tell me anything-- i would do anything to get her back -- i am 400 miles away from her -- have only seen her 2 times for the last 1 yr and i miss her. I have cut both my hands and palm with blades and i am so sick.. sick of everything -- all i do now is think -- only think -- i go to bed and only think about what should i do.. i lay there for hours and then its morning -- i am not taking proper food.. proper sleep... nothing is good... I have lost my respect and everything in front of her. Pls dont tell me that this is girl isnt worth ur time.. tell me anything but not this... or if not any help on the 'getting back' situation pls give me some advice to bear pain and still not be a jerk in her eyes.

Hey all I have had a very good relationship with my gf of 2 yrs until some 4 months.... i mean it was a break up. We were friends still though. Yesterday i had called her after a month and we talked just fine -- for about 30 mins in which she told me about her prom etc and told me everything about what everybody did except about the guy because of whom we fought and had a break up. I thought that things are good as they are -- no other sense than the things they were like -- here i mean that our fdship is what i wanted. Just then my fd called and said that they both (the guy because of whom we had a break up) had been together alone all day in a corner and were dancing etc. It did felt bad cuz she never mentioned me anything about him for the whole talk when what we just talked was about that day. I called her back again and told her that it would be ok if she could tell me this -- i intented to convey her that even though we are off because of this guy it would be ok to tell me it cuz we still are friends. This thing really infuriated her - she went very angry and said that if there was anything then she would have told -- why is it that everytime i have to hear from other people and then react and tell her things about her which had never happened?? (this was one of the big reasons we broke off cuz everytime we had a fight was cuz one of my fds informed me about things she denied -- many times she was right and only in a few was she wrong). So this time again she is right -- she said that i am no body to ask her what she did, whom she talked with... and should she even tell me the song they all (the group they were in) danced on??? etc. then she said keep the phone right now other wise i will be angry on you - do not call for this matter in my life again. wow... really this is the thing i want.... i mean i want to hit the bottom... i really care for this girl -- i had dreamt of me and her -- i dream and think about her every second of my existence and everytime its cuz of my foolishness i ruin things which are going right everytime.... after we broke up i had just wanted to be there for her -- in everything she did -- i really care for her..... but why does it happen only to the person who cares?? i really want to hit the bottom -- what have i to lose??? the world was fine before i was born and the world will be fine after too. why dont i get this in my head that i have nothing to lose, i came here empty handed and will be gone the same way -- i really feel like getting hit by everybody, i am just expecting the worst... with open arms and a smile. nothing here is simple..... i want to be free man. i want to be free... no more in this stupid world where i care and due to my own actions -- for good or for bad -- for me or for another -- always, always i mean turn bad for me... i hate this.

Starr, this is exactly the problem I am going through. I was about to post something very similar to this. You on hand want to be a nurse, i on the other want to be a comp. engineer... and its because of the money and also because i feel there isnt anything much better for my life (i mean no job is good for my life cuz money is needed but life isnt about money -- i know i may be wrong here)... thats why i think i want to be comp. engineer and nothing else will do and also i am not putting in efforts to make it manifest...

Pls help me -- my prob in brief is that my gf of last 2 yrs is confusing my head. a month ago she said that she doesnt want a relationship and her priorities have changed to her family etc stuff and she doesnt want any relationship with me or anyone else. i tried to explain fm my side how much i love her .. no use... the next day she calls me and says that she now understands what i was trying to say and then we again were together -- i went o diff city - she called me twice 2 days fm then for 1 hr ... then she stopped.. i called her for a month.. then one day she called and said that one thing needs to b cleared that her priorities have changed and she considers what happened a mistake (which happened 2 yrs bfore)... and she must have misinterpreted her feelings but now it has no relevence to her. yesterday i came to her city and went to her school to do some work > she was with me for 2 periods and even the rest of her periods were free. we didnt talk much -- later i called her and told her this that i expected her to talk to me -- she got furiated and said that she had work to do and why ppl keep telling her to do this and that etc... later again i called her and couldnt talk much cuz she was getting very irritated and frustrated cuz of me. today i called her and asked her why was she furious?? she said that there are certain things she dislikes about me a lot. but she didnt tell. i then asked her why was she pushing me away -- its ok that her priorities have changed but does she consider meeting me a mistake too?? she then had to hang the phone. now pls tell me -- is she trying to push me away cuz she considers her steps a mistake?? pls tell.

Please help me. I seriously am on the Himalaya of confusion when i think about my x girl friend -- now Best friend. To wrap up the past episodes I would just lay in a para. I and her started a relationship 2 yrs before... then due to certain problems and situations I had to move out of the city for pursuing my studies. We had a series of problems which i think are a part of LDRs but it consisted of another person -- i know thats bad. Anyway.. after all this and 1 1/2 yrs she said that she didnt feel the way she used to and couldnt bear all the mistrust and tensions which occurred which continuosly deviates her from her studies. Ok that was the past. She convinced me that she really considers me to be her true friend (after the incident took and i didnt talk to her for 1 month). This continues -- but everytime I told her should i have any hope for a relationship in the far future - she would say that she really doesnt know and i seriously shouldnt wait for anything in my life. Now, I came to my town.. didnt met her -- she really felt bad.. cried etc. So I came back to my town again -- went to her house for an hour or so but couldnt talk much about what I wanted cuz her mother was with us all the time. So, just now I talked to her on the phone and we were talking of the trust that parents have on us. So thats why she was saying that even while talking to me or anyother person on the phone (even when alone in the house) she would talk only for a limited time cuz this is how things should be. I agreed but said 'I really wanted us to be alone when I came to her house to talk freely about many things i wanted to tell her, and thats how i thought things would be when I came to the town to meet you. But I guess this will never come.' On this she said -- it will. So i said but when... she said that this is uncertain but it would surely come. She has said both the things -- The trust and the limitation and the other which is the 'free' girl many times before... the free girl is the one she used to be when we were having a relationship. Pls tell me what can you infer about this .... i know she isnt flirting cuz we are way over that now. I spend most of my time thing remembering her words and sentences and try to infer things -- many times i find that she meant for the positive, but her actions are negative to the situation... so i have already spent a lot of time on this sentence of hers so pls tell me what can you infer/see from this.

Hi buddy I have been through a relationship and the exactly same thing which happened with the email broke my relationship. What mistakes I did pls dont repeat them otherwise u will land exactly at the same place as I had. So 1) Never tell her or ask her directly about such situations. 2) Never tell her that she should have told you that she mailed him or went out with him. This is all too hard but atleast this can save your relationship i guarantee. See by asking her about what she has to say about this (even casually) she would think that you dont trust her much. Maybe she didnt tell you cuz she thinks that everything going on between you two is too good and why her ex be back in your conversations.. so that u r not upset in any way. Think positively and never repeat my experience. Things will turn out great just be carefull about not asking her (even when she knows that u love her a lot) insensitively. The key in a relationship is the Sensitivity... maintain that and you will be a victor. All the Best.

hey weylon, if it makes u feel any better, we all have been thru this and u will be through too. dont blame urself for any of this. just take ur life as it is -- and try to do the best you can do for urself -- heal, have fun.. work sweat. Thats how i think its gonna work for me too. hope everything will turn out great for u.

I had a 1 1/2 yr rel. with my gf... a LDR. everything was ok except that we had trouble over one of her friends (boy)... a lot of trouble. Then we used to somehow resolve and then again after some time the problem would creep in with diff situations.. now in somewhere around 5 months back i went over to her city... for a month and she was like kinda ignoring me until the day before i was to leave when she cried etc and said that she ruined my holidays for not talking much and all the problems still with that boy (who by the way used to spend time with her in the month)... i was like alright... and felt really like loving her a lot. then 2 months later she went off to europe for a month.. before that she didnt make much of a contact -- which she used to, not much though. She was out for a month. Meanwhile i was reviewing whats the problem and thought about the solution like mad for a month .. then finally came up with one. then when she came back after a month she was acting like $$COOLER THAN ANYBODY$$. i called her for asking how was the trip etc. and wanting to discuss things which i had thought she said that she is no more interested in the relationship we are right now in... lets just be friends and all stuff.. saying stuffs like - who knows what will happen in the next few yrs, and was like why to talk about this stuff -- whenever i brought the topic of explaining rightly what she wanted and what she was doing she would say - oh chill man... enjoy. it su**ed. now she is still the same... with even more decorations on her personality... the cool gal who has a lot of fds (esp boys -- but to tell u the truth that all the boys are jerk who talk dirty about her behind her back.. when i told her this she said that she knew her fds more). now, i m still in love (dont know really cuz its been 6 months since she has been behaving like this).... the thing in my heart is almost the same... but i cant just figure what does she want --- why is she doing this stuff???? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guys, i have heard the situations exactly like this on the forum... so this time i want u to express this again and also want a gal to tell me why do u do this??? even if YOU didnt pls tell me if ur friend did this sort of a thing then why did she did it??? WHY???? what do they really want(am not angry here)?? whats going on in their minds?? pls do tell and share... really need to understand.

Me and my gf were having collisions in our relationship from the start of this year... it was about her being with a guy (i live in a diff. city) who became her friend but i came to know that he isnt good. Anyway, we were having a lot of fights till now when a month and a half before she said that she also wanted to do things and feel solid in this world and do things which will make her parents proud... after hearing this I was very very happy as i am also gone out of the city for my studies and after hearing that she is also too much interested in building her career seriously i was very excited.... then after that we didnt had a talk for more than a month until day before yesterday (she had gone out of the country with her family). Well now when I called her she was sad cuz her sister was having a bf and used to talk to him by unfair means (when her parents were out... this really made her sad watching her sister do this to the family) and as she was leaving the city for going to a B school in a few days she was preety sad and sort of angry. I called her up 3 days back and was just asking bout the trip, telling her how i missed her and told her that i wanted to talk (i wanted to talk about how we should just stop fighting and concentrate on our career).. but she said that she needed to talk to.. on asking her about what she said that she doesnt look up to ourselves as she used to look before. and said that this all just gets both of us very worried and tensed. now i dont know the reason for her thinking like this but i guess its because she wants to b something b someone make her career. Since then i am trying to contact her by calling her at her house but she says that she cant talk right now cuz her parents are around etc stuff. I have only 2 dreams -- 1) fulfill my duties towards my family 2) taking care of that gal now i just want to ask that she does whatever she wants to fulfill her parents dreams etc but can i wait for her --- i m 16 and i am talking bout things which are 8 yrs from now.... but all i really want to ask her is only this that can i wait for her.... pls tell me something

common guys give me a reply, i am waiting.

Okay, nowadays I have been feeling a lot like being taken for granted for everything. Like, I have problems in my relationship regarding a new fd of hers whom she think is good, but is actually the type of just go and scr@w her and then goodbye sorts of. When I told my gf about the guys character and some proofs which I gave to her, she is not believing it.. i mean she is now confused whether to believe me or her new fd who says that he is not guilty and I am putting a wrong blame on him so that I break her fdship with him... (he is a brat). Now after all this and the previous fights and conflicts regarding that guy she thinks that I would understand what her actions and thoughts meant. I mean I have told her a thousand times that I dont like her hanging out with this guy too much and to stop considering to be such a good person whom she can now never come accross, but she still thinks that I am wrong (cause of the distance and I dont know that guy as well as she does). Now I dont know what to do. I mean she says that her new fd would be her Best Friend forever... (she said this when she sort of said this aggresively to me in a restaurant). On hearing this, I asked what am I, she says that I am her forever (and then she stopped actually). I mean right now she is just not understanding me and not believing me, but taking me for granted that i am her forever boy friend etc... i would love to be but her actions seem to stop me cuz they just dont show it. How do I stop her from feeling this way for me -- the granted feeling that I am there for her forever (I am, but all i am asking her right now is to give me more attention, more faith and belief than that new fd of hers).

OK, first of all u have to try and receive some signals, i mean how does she react when u r around her. If she behaves diff. with others, and diff in front of u -- IN THAT WAY... like blushing etc stuff and really talking to you more than people who are around her then this might be the positive signal.

Common people - please give me some advices. Just for the experienced -- how did you did stuff?? i mean i know it would surely would have hurt, but for those few who managed to absorb the shock quickly, what did they do??

I would like to go into the depth of this problem of urs. As I also am an Indian -- I know the situations. But from what kind of environment are u?? i mean which state --so that i know better how to reply.

Also please refer me some good music (i am interested in it). But the problem with me now currently is that I hear -- Linkin Park, Metallica, Enrique, George Michael, Michael Jackson, Bon Jovi, Bryan Adams but mostly I skip to some love song my MLTR etc... (this happened all the last yr which distracted me) and then i think about HER. So please refer me some good songs which are not related to love at all.. or if u have really good english (only) love songs -- please tell it to me. If any other way to keep my mind away from my gf, please ur welome.