localvet Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 So had a coffee date at lunch. She was totally digging me. Locked eye contact, leaning in laughing etc... I had to go back to work so walked her to her car. She lingered, fiddled with the car stuff, etc so I kissed her. She prolonged the kiss, surprised a bit. All went well. I texted her shortly after...That was fun! She then said yes asked me if I think we have chemistry, went on am I affectionate, am I ok with her being christian, Do I kiss good night and good morning, and on and on. I am getting a bad feeling that this is a clinger, or a rebound gal. No big long term relationships in her past so on the surface she should be clear. We have another coffee date tomorrow. Am I too jaded and looking for flaws or does this all seem a bit too much too fast? Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Define big LTR... More than a year? So far I see nothing wrong with her. Might be a bit excited about meeting a new guy. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 It sounds like she's just really bubbly and into you. Tbh, I'd wager that MOST women think those questions that she asked you after a very successful first date, because that's what happens when you're excited, but not very many actually verbalize it. When I went on my first meet-up (we met through online dating) with my boyfriend, we talked for hours and it became clear to both of us that we wanted to see each other again. Not having children is a priority to me so I brought it up at the end of the date like "Hey, just so we are clear, I think you're great and I want to continue to see you, but I want to know that you're okay with the idea of not having children, because that's my #1 dealbreaker when I get serious with someone, and I don't want to waste your/my time" and I was really relieved to find out that we were on the same page. Link to comment
j.man Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 It'd be a red flag for me, personally. Not only because she's bombarding you with texts and questions the very same day of the first date, but also because she's not asking these kinds of questions in person. If you like her, I'd feel her out still. Just do your best to filter her out if she is indeed clingy. One date a week for a few weeks, don't have text conversations inbetween, etc. If she can handle that fine, then it might be alright. Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 It sounds like she is excited about you.Just go with the flow and let nature take its course.Try not to read too much into it, Its too early to tell at this point Good luck Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Id say don't think about it too much and give it another couple dates and see if she calms down. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 You will know more tomorrow. I found it easier to put a bit of time between early dates. At least a day. It gives both people a chance to not only sit with what happened on the date and how they feel, but to do other things as well. Space is a good thing. So if you still like her after tomorrow and want to see her again, I'd suggest not booking for the very next day. And yeah, keep the texting down to a minimum. If she's a huge texting, just let her know in a gentle way that you really like talking to her, but aren't big into texting, so she can ask you anything she wants on the next date.Or something like that. lol. I'm no pro either. Link to comment
notalady Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 It'd be a red flag for me, personally. Not only because of she's bombarding you with texts and questions the very same day of the first date, but because she's not asking these kinds of questions in person. I agree with this. This would be a red flag for me. I find all these questions very overwhelming for a new person you're dating. And pointless, since you can tell her whatever she wants to hear and it would mean nothing, because it's just words, in text no less. Rather than actually going on dates and find out these things in person as a relationship develops, as a normal person would, she chose to bombard you with these questions in text after a first date. Not good. Seems like she needs the verbal reassurance more than anything. I smell possible insecurity. Not saying don't go on another date, but do observe closely. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I think she's coming on a bit too strong, too many questions, she sounds clingy and like she may want to dive into a relationship quickly. Take it slow, get to know her. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I agree with give it another go, tomorrow. See how things go. She may just be very bubbly/excited over you. Too much texting isn't always a good thing. Being verbal helps things along more. After tomorrow, give things a bit of time, as mentioned. Don't agree to be available every day etc. Be honest & be yourself. Give her a chance. Link to comment
Stay_home Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Well you did kiss her and get her going and into you. She's very bubbly and obviously interested in you. I think you should see her again for sure. Link to comment
localvet Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 It'd be a red flag for me, personally. Not only because she's bombarding you with texts and questions the very same day of the first date, but also because she's not asking these kinds of questions in person. If you like her, I'd feel her out still. Just do your best to filter her out if she is indeed clingy. One date a week for a few weeks, don't have text conversations inbetween, etc. If she can handle that fine, then it might be alright. I dig that advice! Link to comment
LC8328 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 My opinion (which might be off because I haven't dated in SO LONG), she is excited about you (probably after a string of failed dates) and is so glad one went well. Therefore she went home and ticked off a mental list about her, to see if you're even more compatible. If you like her, or think she has potential, you can text back "that's a lot of questions i'd rather have a conversation with you in person because you deserve that " Or something to that effect. Link to comment
JustWishing Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 She likes you. One date doesn't mean anything yet. Go on a few more and if you still have a funny feeling about it you can still call it quits. I will cross my fingers that everything will go well tomorrow and keep us updated Link to comment
localvet Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 Update! I went on the second date. She asked me if I like her curves, let me feel her up, in the park, but no one was around. We kissed and she stopped me to tell me how to kiss her. This was odd and made me feel very self conscious. This has me wondering what else she will boss me around about, or again, am I too ready for something insane? Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Have you ever been told you are a great kisser? If not, hush up,and take a lesson. Nothing wors than a bad kisser. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I sense that if the gender was reversed the woman would simply feel she was being courted, albeit enthusiastically. Link to comment
localvet Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 Actually yes I have been told that I am a great kisser. Every time! In fact I have been told I am very good. so this makes it a bit strange to. Or I am just too gun shy! Link to comment
BigKK Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 It'd be a red flag for me, personally. Not only because she's bombarding you with texts and questions the very same day of the first date, but also because she's not asking these kinds of questions in person. If you like her, I'd feel her out still. Just do your best to filter her out if she is indeed clingy. One date a week for a few weeks, don't have text conversations inbetween, etc. If she can handle that fine, then it might be alright. I'm with j.man, I bailed on a girl like this... she was cute, we got along... Although I lasted till the second date... I guess at least she talked about this stuff in person, but she was WAAAAAAAY too into me for just knowing me so short...and was talking about our future. I figured I was just a fantasy she thought I could fulfill and just bailed after that... Update! I went on the second date. She asked me if I like her curves, let me feel her up, in the park, but no one was around. We kissed and she stopped me to tell me how to kiss her. This was odd and made me feel very self conscious. This has me wondering what else she will boss me around about, or again, am I too ready for something insane? I've only had one girl tell me how to kiss her, and I adjusted and she liked it. I wouldn't take it as a dealbreaker. Usually I've been told I'm a good kisser, so I can thank all those books and videos I watched as a kid Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Actually yes I have been told that I am a great kisser. Every time! In fact I have been told I am very good. so this makes it a bit strange to. Or I am just too gun shy! No, if you've been told a lot you are a god kisser, I call flag #2 on this chick. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 OP, It is not so much clingy but controlling or bossy. There is some immaturity in there as well. Not really 'negative' but really 'positive' either. Link to comment
ManyDates Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 You have cling freaks, control freaks, chaos queens and drama queens - the odds of finding a woman that doesn't have one of those is extremely difficult. Link to comment
notalady Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I don't see the telling you how to kiss her thing as a red flag. Depending on how she communicated it. If she simply said "I prefer it like this", I see nothing wrong with that. There can be an adjustment in kissing style between two people when they first start dating. If she said it in a bossy way then I might change my views. Link to comment
localvet Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 I don't see the telling you how to kiss her thing as a red flag. Depending on how she communicated it. If she simply said "I prefer it like this", I see nothing wrong with that. There can be an adjustment in kissing style between two people when they first start dating. If she said it in a bossy way then I might change my views. I think she was rude about it. She said "Whoa! Hey Mr. Tongue, enough with that." Also before every kiss she would say in an ofd voice, "well hello" or "Ohh a kiss" and it was odd. She is out now. So it doesn't matter, except I do feel I spotted some issues right away. Link to comment
notalady Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Yes those comments are very odd. Gives me the impression that she's inexperienced. Link to comment
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