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SooSad33

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SooSad33 last won the day on August 21 2021

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  1. Umm, it has only been 3 months.. WHY are you still hanging around this idiot?? 😞 HE is being abusive and controlling towards you.. do you like it? No. This is why you're here. Now you know how one should NOT be treated, he is nasty!! Get away from him and do NOT take his crap anymore. Even if he tries to 'play nice' and pull you back. Some people do that. Just don't. Keep with the idea that YOU deserve much better treatment than this!
  2. Yeah, I feel you're just not that 'into her' . We can't make ourselves 'love' someone - vice versa. And you don't just give in to please the other person like this! Don't live a lie.. that's terrible. By sounds of it, you're still stuck on your past - or is it just you comparing the relationships? Only YOU know what you're feeling, but any doubts, don't go there. For what reasons are you talking marriage anyways? Feeling pressures from her? Some people never do marry or some may go over 10 yrs before they even consider it. I always think that if you're not feeling it within the first 6 mos or so, it's not there. So, it's your choice.. to continue with this one & give it some more time .. or not. But do not agree on marriage just because you're feeling pressure or due to 'expectations'.
  3. I'm sorry you are hurting, but sadly, this is how it goes when you're a rebound 😞 . YOU were ready, she was not. And all this is, is HER selfishness, knowing very well she is NOT ready to get involved again! Is like she is trying to forget or get over the break up of her marriage and is out there using others to do so.. - BUT, it's not working, Go Figure! And what it does, is leave a trail of hurting units. They;ve only been separated for a year and they have a longggg ways to go yet, before they ( or her) are in their right minds to be okay to get involved again. So, let this be a hard lesson for you... NEVER get involved with someone who's freshly out of a ( long term) relationship. Hey, it's only been a few weeks where she was in your company. You will be okay. πŸ˜‰ . Remove her from everything and yeah, delete her number! Why would you even want to give a second thought on someone who was just using you? Be done, get out there and continue as you are, doing your own thing and maybe in a few months, start scanning the dating world again πŸ™‚ .
  4. I am gonna say this is because he is too close to you - where you can't properly move on.... Been there. I have an ex I ended up having 'feelings' for a few yrs back. Sucks! He was way too close for comfort, to where I knew it'd be hard to work on accepting & moving on properly, because he was always right there! 😞 . Hurt more to see him move on. Well, last fall they finally moved away! πŸ™‚ . I no longer see them live their lives across the street... knowing their every move. I only see him online, when I sign on. It IS for the best, honestly. So, if possible, consider doing the same or this will go on forever! πŸ˜• . Also, as mentioned, journal. Find another way to 'get it out'.
  5. Yeah, sadly,it sounds like things were falling apart due to all of this. HIS lack of communication and your expectations. No one's perfect & all couples argue about things.. sorry you are hurting 😞 . Since you do realize now where things went south, in time you'll come to accept this and heal. You two just weren't meshing well. It happens. In the meanwhile, be easy on yourself. Take it easy, lean on your friends & family and give it time. This. Were YOU maybe becoming a little too desperate? Not good. If you really want a child, you can always adopt or go choose a father! πŸ™‚
  6. I was a shy girl way back then but still reacted to a boys interest/ attention. IMO, if she's really into you, she needs to 'give a little'! You can't base anything on just chatting it up. If she wants to carry on this way for another week, tell her, you're okay with this for ONLY a few more days. If she doesn't want to budge, then say you're not into just chatting.... Then just be done & move on.
  7. So it was on and off ( first problem)... and he doesn't care, by his behaviour.. continuing on with younger gals. Oh, what a thrill. He's probably never had a long lasting relationship & will always be single. This is someone you do NOT want in your life! His loss πŸ˜‰ . I knew a playboy like this years ago, I wasted longer time than this. I wish I had more strength than I did at that time! πŸ˜• .. But, we live & learn. You will be fine. Look to find a real man! Someone you know does value you πŸ™‚
  8. Yup, we never really forget them... they were a part of our lives for a while. Can take someone 9 mos to get over someone and may take 2 yrs to feel your over the next. What is good is when you realize you've woken up and they were NOT the first thing you think about! That's progress. When you've been emotionally invested in someone it does take time to work thru it all. Can be a matter of grieving the loss. πŸ˜• . So, you'll go thru stages of the pain, anger, denial, etc.. until you are fine with what is and life isn't so bad - acceptance. Continue to work at this and moving on with your life. Be easy on yourself and continue on. Not always easy, but it's great when you realize someday, so what, he had a car like that! Cause it really doesn't bother me anymore πŸ™‚ . It'll happen.. believe πŸ˜‰ . Journaling is also helpful - another way to 'get it out'. I do suggest, if you find it consuming you after another year, consider some prof help to help you work thru this.
  9. Yeah, I can kinda tell she was your first gf. She was correct, she did not 'cheat' on you just because she was getting notifications from some group. And who gave YOU the rights to go thru her computer? ( Lack of respect & trust). As for an ex contacting her, yes, it was up to her to inform him she has moved on. If she did not respect your relationship enough, I guess she wouldn't. But, her replying back with 'Oh', does not mean she's still into him. I figure she was just being respectful. Anyways, you mention that she is not from there and you also wonder if she is just using you. Then, just be done with her and move on. Lack of respect and trust always ruins relationships. maybe date someone who's already part of your clan πŸ˜‰ .
  10. I don't see that you have any ties with her at all. You two never truly had any decent communication or even a date, lol. You owe her nothing! If she is just playing head games and you don't want to play erase her number. Move on.
  11. Yeah, could be a number of reasons she has moved on this fast.... She had mentally & emotionally already checked out long before she left.. My kids boss is going thru a divorce right now as well. He was acting different at the workplace for a couple months before he admitted their divorce. Right away he was out dating .. taking anything that would look his way. It's now been almost 10 mos and he's prolly with gal #3 or 4 . So, she may be with someone right now, but is a good possibility it won't last. She still may have a few inner demons to work out πŸ˜‰ . Who knows.... Either way, to her, she's done with this relationship and I'm sorry for this. It's never easy πŸ˜• . So give yourself time to work on accepting it and take care of yourself and kids ❀️ . You're not alone ... many of us have been thru the pains as well. We get it. In time, things will not be as rough as they are right now.
  12. Is there any way to get on 'assistance'? Where you don't have to move back home? If you've been seeing a therapist, ongoing, you can even 'build your case' and seek some kind of disability ( struggling with mental health - due to abuse ( hence PTSD, anxiety , depression etc) .. I don't know your mentality issues.. but it's an idea. It's all up to you on seeking out what is available. I was never a nurse but made it to a Health care worker, which took one year of college. Here they call it a PSW. As mentioned, maybe you're with a therapist that isn't right for you, as you should feel comfrotable enough to be able to talk to them about anything. I know you are feeling really low 😞 .. but you're still so young. I don't see this as you messing your life up! I see this as you having some issue's and you're struggling atm. And that you need some help. So, please don't put yourself down for what's happened. Many don't manage to complete their schooling, all for diff reasons.
  13. Wow πŸ˜• , that's rough .... sorry you had to endure that experience. I had friends with parents like this. They also had a few challenging relationships - so it does cause an effect. Unreal though, that your mom would continue relationships with the same issues ... but then again, I guess it isn't, since she was one, herself. *sigh* 😞 No one can get 'better' until they rid of stuff like this in their lives. So glad you've all turned out better than this ( as risk is always there to also become an alcy if you have alcy parents) . Nope, she may not. Not if it's either her 'crutch' .. or addiction. She can quit IF she actually wakes up and chooses to get clean. Maybe be a while still though, if she even does. Yup, go for it. Go face the reality of all of this on what's got you wound up with everything and get it dealt with! Good on you πŸ™‚ .
  14. You are still so young! Sorry this isn't working out πŸ˜• . Sometimes we do grow apart... it happens. And nothing much anyone can do but work on accepting what is. BUT, it may become too much for you having to live there with him. Can he not find a friend to share this place with & help with the rent so you can move on in a healthy manner? IMO, it's best way to handle this situation. I also feel you can strive better with your own ideas of looking ahead as you are.. and working on your own self. But not be stuck there with some guy who's now pulled away. I have 2 kids close to your age, One has also moved to an apt with his gf and the other's still at home. Building funds for a future which is fine πŸ™‚ . Never any reason to rush into anything, especially at your age. As I said, you are still so young. You've just reached your adult stage in life and have sooo many good years ahead of you! Get out there, enjoy the scenery, hang with some friends, enjoy all life's got to offer. πŸ™‚
  15. Yeah, sadly it seems so, that she's still consuming you because of what you did .. ( this book) , which has come to 're hash' some emotions once again .... right? You've been damaged by her. Traumatized 😞 . Yes, I agree with some therapy to help you along, as it's obvious you're still fuming over your past. It's never good to sit in anger etc for so long. I learned this years ago . I did a few years of therapy ( more than once) , to 'work through my issues'. Yes, it does help πŸ™‚ . Proof here with her ongoing behaviour ( assisted by alcohol & mental instability). Sadly, sometimes we NEED to learn the hard way πŸ˜• . My first ex is an alcy , was not a nice experience & was hard to work on accepting it all and getting out of it. Took a good couple of years - but I worked through it and am well over all of that now πŸ™‚ . Life is an experience I often say. We live & we learn. Also, I feel, as we get older, we become more aware of the 'red flags'. Yeah, when I was out in the dating world, I came across a couple guys who'd go from coffee to beer every day! πŸ˜• * gag* . Immediate turn off.... So, do as you mentioned, get into therapy to work through this issue that has plagued your life & happiness and I believe in time, you WILL come to feel okay again and more yourself - as you should be! A decent, successful man who's got a lot of good values! πŸ™‚ One day at a time. Good luck
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