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SooSad33

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Everything posted by SooSad33

  1. I suggest you move on. Usually if someone is into you, you'll know and she's had numerous chances to do so. Also the fact that she's had a kind of 'recent' BU of a long-term relation. She's probably not ready or truly interested in getting involved again.
  2. Halle Berry, YOU have yet to respond to all the above responses. How do YOU see it? IMO, I'd suggest you do not get involved with him then. If he's already admitted uncertainties, then it is NOT worth getting emotionally invested in such person. I wish I did at one time, instead of wasting my mental & emotional energy on a guy like this for too long šŸ˜• .
  3. Sorry to hear of all your challenges šŸ˜• . It can be quite challenging sometimes for kids at your age.. but you need to learn and just try to keep moving ahead. IMO, she is not for you. She distanced from you & dumped you, don't go taking her back because this other guy wasn't 'good enough'. I just feel you two have distanced now & it'll never be the same šŸ˜• . Then work on accepting it and move on. Maybe it's best to just stop dealing with her all together so you CAN work at moving on. No need to keep contact anymore. She's now in college and living a new life & experience. As for your parents, yah, they are ridiculous! šŸ˜• . You're not 10 yrs old anymore. You're now a Sr in school? Maybe it's time to admit to them you are hitting adulthood and would like proper respect. ( or is it because you're a first child/ oldest?). Mine tried with me, but I never worked well with curfews etc, so they just gave up, lol. And please do not try & 'follow' this girl to that college, just because she is there. Do wht is best for YOU! Cause in the end, YOU are all you've got. šŸ˜‰
  4. Sounds like you two don't mesh properly nowadays & that was just the 'honeymoon phase'.... Maybe you be done now?
  5. I suggest you be careful here, cause in ways, you two kinda have a past. And often men & women do not mesh well when it comes to 'friendships'. One often 'expects' more than that. Maybe is best to chat on occasion as you do and expect nothing more. Your lives have changed and still is to this day.
  6. Nope, not cordial and no bond - except from your end, imo. He's a guy, in it for the fun, only! Remember that. ( he's a f*boy). Those ones do NOT get 'feelings'. And also remember this! He's an arrogant male. ( Not all men cheat and women are not H*res fps!). it was only over a 3 month time span. You will get over him.. and remember for next time re: FWB, they do not get emotionally invested, women do. šŸ˜‰ So, tread carefully.
  7. I agree... He IS odd šŸ˜• .. And to be talking marriage etc already is out of the norm! Sadly, sounds like she's been taken into a whirlwind romance but is blind to the fact, due to her rose coloured glasses šŸ˜• . I don't blame you for telling her what you think but if she wants to act this way, that's on her. Keep up with your own thoughts & being honest! Let's hope, in time she comes around and see's WHY you don't like him! Remain as you are.. distant. Could be HE is controlling her/ manipulating etc. Is pretty much up to her to realize this though.
  8. Ahh, well please try not to let that affect you. There are tons of men out there with hair issues. And if you look at some good actors even, they've gone bald and they still look good! šŸ™‚ . Maybe you can work on your 'self esteem', then if that's an issue, as often sadly, if we're negative, other people can pick up that vibe. You need to go into something feeling good! šŸ˜‰
  9. Okay, but you said he was over yesterday? So, let things simmer for another few days, since he had a 'gentle reminder' of being around his GF . Maybe, towards then end of the week, you reach out and say you two need to talk.... And that is when you ask him... Are you in this with me, or not? Do you feel we can work things out or not? ( But dont be aggressive - but you do want/need to know whats up with him.) He's either up for trying to work it out with you - where YOU communicate - and no head games and he TRIES harder as well. So either he's in this with you or he's out.
  10. Aww, the anxiety.. yeah šŸ˜• . Well, this is what you two NEED to do. Communicate. Especially if you want to make things work. Not run off when you're having problems. I suggest you do a read on a book I find interesting. I think even on Kindle. 'Men are from Mars, Women from Venus'. This explains a lot abt how men can 'function'. Eg. man cave, how they show their affection, communication issues, etc. So, how different they can be from us. But yes, communication IS necessary for a relationship to work. šŸ™‚ So maybe for now, let him have some time on his own. Let the dust settle ( for a few days). And then maybe reach out and ask that he come 'talk' to you. Just do not make yourself look desperate. Be respectful and let him talk and 'Listen'. He NEEDS to do the same. Listen... then reply. ( As you're not quite sure yet IF he's on the outs for good, right?). IF he cares enough , he may agree to try again. So, at that point, you know what you two need to work on.. Respect & Communication. Relationships take work. Good luck, keep us informed. šŸ™‚
  11. Sex is always the easy part, of course he'd go for that! But, yes, in order for this to work out at all, you two need to figure out the problems.... and fix them. Sadly though, if he has walked out, it shows he's quite frustrated šŸ˜• . How does he mean he is afraid to have a relationship with you? What's going on? make note: when a couple breaks up, things will NOT work out unless or until what has caused the BU is fixed - which takes time. And do not do this on again/ off again thing. If you're done, you're done. And, if you're broken up now at this time, it may be an idea to refuse him any physical interaction. He's either in or he;s out!
  12. Yup, I would have gone ahead & told him to 'figure it out'. By this time, HE should surely know where to put the foods . Unless, you are VERY specific with everything, to where he feels he may not be adequate enough for you and try to avoid making you upset - if ya get what I mean? And if this is how it's always been, could also be that he's too used to things this way now. So, just leaves it all up to you.... So, maybe just ease into your 'expectations' with him. Give him small things to do and in time ask for more.
  13. You don't want to hurt HIM? He's been hurting you all along šŸ˜ž . No realtionship should ever go w/out the intimacy. So, HE is the one being neglectful and selfish! And yeah, his 'obsession' has taken over your relationship. And you have already asked him to seek prof help and he hasn't. Then I'd be done, if I were you! Why waste your time & energy with someone like this? Sorry you are being hurt like this with someone who cannot seem to love you properly. šŸ˜•
  14. YOU should feel a lot more secure than this. IMO, he's quite judgemental & controlling and yes, I feel he IS putting his '2 cents' in a little too much, too often! šŸ˜• . You;re already beginning to feel overwhelmed with all of this & to the point you do avoid telling him things - so withholding information for the sake of preventing judgement or any kind of argument. Imagine if he was always right there.. beside you? This is one BIG Red Flag ... right? You're feeling you can't be you, right? Nope, I feel this is all going to end up failing, soon enough. Sorry šŸ˜•
  15. 8 months - time enough to tell if you're into that person or not. She has pulled away & admitted she's not all in this anymore. Then just stop contact. Don't let her lead you on anymore, She's being disrespectful. Be done now, work on accepting and move on.
  16. Umm.... Bates Motel vibes here!! šŸ˜® As for HER allowing her child at that age to sleep in her bed- is ALL wrong! Sickening really šŸ˜• . I'd say to contact child services, but he is now 18, so I doubt that'd help matters here. Yup, thats awful.. and shows they BOTH have issues *sigh* . See what she has done to him? šŸ˜•
  17. Maybe these just aren't YOUR women. If you're there to 'comfort' them. That's not what they're looking for then. ( meaning, what YOU want & what they're looking for is different). Are you maybe missing the 'signs'? Eg. IF she is truly interested, you'll know it. Meaning she WILL reach out, just like you do. Is not all one sided, etc. Also, you will drain yourself if you just go from one woman to the next to whomever will give you some attention šŸ˜• , then yes, it's going to drag you down. Have you been in a long-term relationship over the yrs or married?
  18. How long together? It's normal on both ends to 'feel' some loss after a BU. But you can't really expect anything more from him. You two are no longer involved, so neither of you owe the other anything. Sounds like he was using you - weaning off you as he worked on accepting the relationship is over . When actually its usually best to be just be totally done! As I said, no expectations. Some ex's even agree to remain 'friends', and often that doesn't last or work out either, due to emotions still being present. Maybe it is time for YOU as well, to work on accepting things are done , part of the mourning process ( grieving). It's normal to be in denial, hurt for a while, go thru anger, etc , But don't expect an ex to comfort you. Lean on friends & family as you work thru it all.
  19. Yah, I wonder WHY you are having some guy - who is still in such a mess and not yet even divorced with an ex and kids to still care for, move in after 1.5 yrs together? IMO, his business re: his family is none of yours. It is up to them to figure out ( as you said he's upset with you now) . Prolly due to the stress now from both sides? šŸ˜• I've dated guys for up to 5 yrs before I'd even consider moving in together. And knowing all you do ( his expenses), was it maybe best to wait a while longer? IMO, you chose to act on this and now you're stuck. When you should have thought harder & longer on this before letting him move in, cause now you see the mess - he can't afford much, no. Did you do it to ease HIS burdens?
  20. I think this is all it may be. YOU are kicking in with some defensive mode, since the boss has caused a stir. Inside you KNOW these 'thoughts & emotions' are all wrong! So, it is best to take a deep breathe and lighten up some. He is an adult and you are just another worker there. How about you keep it that way! šŸ˜‰ If you can't keep your wits about you, maybe it's time to look for another job - your choice.
  21. He's right re: having kids. You are now approaching the time in your life called menopause. I feel he is trying to let you down easy. He's NOT all in it anymore.. You do know you are not his mother... this is 'normal' for people his age. They're experiencing & living it up! While you and/or your friends did the same thing as you left HS and hit 'adulthood', knowing drinking was now 'legal'. So yeah, you're now involved with a guy who's ONE year into legal status šŸ˜‰ . Sorry, but by sounds of it all, he's already got one foot out the door. You two are so far apart in age, YOU could be his mother šŸ˜• . he's just getting started with his adulthood and you've already had plenty of experience. This isn't going to work. It's best to admit this isn't working out between the two of you and just be done. Let him go do his thing .. I am pretty sure, in a few months, there will no longer be any communication and he'll be just fine. Wish him the best and leave him be now.
  22. Why wait? Sounds like he's a loser. You don't sound so happy, yourself. So, why keep draggin this on with an arrogant man who obviously doesn't appreciate you šŸ˜• .
  23. Right, I agree with the above - fact that you've taken 2 breaks already. This is not healthy, as it causes more of an uproar between you's with one maybe becoming more resentful and trust be affected as well, etc. And as I underlined, him admitting he isn't ready. Then why bother wasting anymore time? I do understand if you are emotionally invested.. BUT, we can't make someone love us šŸ˜• . Not sure how long you've been involved with this guy, but in time ( no contact, to heal & move on), you will realize why it wasn't going to work out and maybe YOU had more for this relationship than he did! Never works when it's all one sided. So, just be done. Work through your pains and look to move on. I believe you WILL one day come to find one who is truly as into you as you are in them šŸ™‚ .
  24. Not sure your age? But, for your mother to be going thru your laptop - is a No No. She is lacking respect & is a show of control. If she is controlling & abusive, you have the right to seek prof help or even reach out to other adults, as apparently mentioned, yesterday..? Sounds like you're struggling now & have had enough.. Fact is, often a struggling parent / abusive parent have their own demons to deal with and can often reflect if off their kids šŸ˜ž . I have a neighbour like this.. and a sister.. and a Sis in law. Your mother may deny your accusations and brush it off. This is just how she is - and may always deny any wrong doings. In the end, it'd be up to YOU on your own choices on how you are gonna deal with it all. Eg, move away & avoid her.. Seek prof help to work through the after effects of growing up with this, etc. I hope, in time, you can feel okay again & be safe.
  25. I do agree, it is ridiculous! Never have I spoken to my parents this way . That first paragraph is a form of a 'threat'. - WHY is she so negative? Is it her own past affecting her, to the point she is being so rude to her own mother? šŸ˜ž Second paragraph, again, like a form of 'control', with a lot of negativity going on - anger like. Blocking someone is childish, especially to a parent! I feel there's a lot more going on, to where she has some kind of anger/resentment towards you. And this maybe needs to be dealt with from her end.. or yours. I'm not sure? But, she does sound rather rude w/ outbursts towards you. If I were you, I'd be 'not bowing down to that behaviour'. But EXPECTING a little more respect. I do not know your backgrounds/ history, but there's problems for sure.... And you reached out here, for reasons.. right? By sounds of it, things are now gaining on you in a negative and you're really hurting šŸ˜ž . Take a deep look inside and see what's all been going on. Maybe YOU need to look for some prof help - or suggest she does it. This is not healthy for either of you .. and the grandkids.
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