SuluHikaru

Thank you. I think you're right, absolutely right, with everything you said there. The only thing I would say is that she was only going to stay 3 nights, then she wanted to stay 4 nights, then 5 nights. She didn't want to do much on day 4 and 5, due to her period, but wanted to go out with me on on our last night. Thank you. Thank you. I am very confused about what happened. I don't think she met anyone, she could have been only using me for financial support, but it seems a lot of hassle just to get money from me. All I can think of is that I wasn't what she wanted as a partner. Thank you. Thank you. I think you're being a little harsh here, but I respect your honesty. 👌 In poorer countries, Facebook offers a "lite" version of their platform to save on bandwidth costs for the user. This version of Facebook often doesn't use your data, or doesn't count towards your data limit if you're in "credit". When she was with me, I tried adding myself, but I had the same problem she had. I couldn't add her as she didn't allow people to add her on FB. I was going to ask her to allow people to add her to FB, but I never got around to it. 🤦‍♂️ I think you're right, I overinvested in a long shot, and she had a change of heart after meeting me. 🤷‍♂️ I would be surprised if anyone else was giving her serious attention, or giving her "resources". But, I have no way of knowing. As for her story, of course, I don't know if anything was 100% true, and you don't know with people until you spend time with them. When you meet your partner, do you know everything about them 100%? Do you take everything they say at face value? More than likely you do until you know them better. Her story and timeline were consistent. But, you're right, it's best I move on. I just wanted to ask other people their prospective. I appreciate your prospective, even if I think it's a little harsh! I do appreciate it when people like yourself offer harsh, but constructive criticism. Thank you. 😊

I met this girl online early in the year on Facebook (can't remember how exactly). From my country, I helped her find a job and accommodation as she was homeless (she was sometimes staying with a friend, sometimes sleeping on the streets). We live in different continents, I Europe, she Asia. Basically, I gave her the equiv of US$25 to get her work/identity documents and gave her tips on where and how to look for work. After a month of talking, I said I was going to her country in about 6 weeks, but I didn't go to see her specifically, there were friends that I wanted to meet, but I don’t think she knew that. She got on a bus (at her own expense) that took 4+ hours to get to me, stayed with me in my hotel room for 5 nights, I paid for her all of her expenses, including activities, a couple of souvenirs, some female hygiene products as it was that time of the month for her and she didn’t have much money (she was very open with me about her periods). I also gave her some souvenirs and gifts from my country (nothing expensive). She almost cried because no one had ever been that nice to her. I just gave her a hug and a kiss. One thing that came up during her story, she said she had asked men for money before when homeless, but the ones that responded wanted nudes in exchange, which she didn't do and would just block these people. She said when I gave her money, she was dreading that I would be asking her for nudes or similar, which I never did. We had a souvenir photo and on the last day, she was packing it away, she was saying that she was going to get it framed. She also gave me her little windup music box that plays “you are my sunshine” and she said that was one of the things that makes her happy and she plays it when she is sad, and wanted me to have it as a reminder of her. At the end of her stay, I gave some money to cover her bus fare and refreshments (she didn't ask). When she got back to her town (4+ hours away) she wrote me a message saying that she was missing me, I said I was missing her too (which I was), and I said I might see her in her town, she didn’t say yes or no, just said that she would be working and there would be nothing for me to do in the meantime (which is true). Towards the end of her stay, she said she did want to move to my country (we had talked about it a couple of weeks before), and I said we should meet again in 6 months, then if it goes well, it would be a further 6 months before we could start the visa process and she agreed. As she hadn’t replied to me in over a day, I checked her social media profiles and I see I am blocked on IG and TT and she had stopped replying to my messages on Facebook and removed nearly all the videos of her and I. We took loads of photos and Tiktoks together (she loves TT). We were not friends on FB, as she couldn’t add me due to technical limitations with her phone, only messages. When I realised something was wrong, I created new social media accounts to see if there were clues. She had posted a TT video on her last night with the lyrics saying “she had given her heart to keep you satisfied”. I think that’s what the lyrics were. Hard to tell. She also posted another video on her TT on our last night, with lyrics saying “she thinks she forgot how to be happy, something she is not, but something she can be, something I wait for”, she looked sad in the video – not sure if that was just for effect. When I realised that I had been blocked, I scrambled to get a bus to her location. It took a solid 5 hours to get there due to traffic. When I said I was on the bus to see her, she messaged me saying to not see her because she needs time to think about her feelings but I had done nothing wrong. I asked why she had blocked me on IG and TT (including eventually my new account, after I messaged her using it to ask what was happening), she said she hadn’t and has bad Internet where she is (that bit is true mobile data is bad in this country!). But I know she has blocked me. After I said I was on the bus and I can’t turn back, she actually agreed to meet me in her town to talk, which took about an hour for her to get there and waited over an hour for me to get there. I know she hadn't been too well, with her feeling dizzy and exhausted recently, and had been feeling like that since she left me to go back to her town. When she greeted me at the bus stop, she gave me a big smile and hug, wearing the hat I gave her and she wanted me to hold her arm as we walked to the restaurant. We went for a cheap dinner sat there for an hour and I asked her what happened, did I say or do anything wrong? She said no. She needed time to think about her feelings towards me, and feel healthy. I was very understanding with her, I didn’t get upset at her. I said I won’t message you anymore, she said no, I can still message her, but she doesn’t know what she wants, she wants 6 months to know what she wants. As we said our final goodbyes in her town, she sent me a message saying “thank you for everything and take care. 😘” I replied saying “thank you for your time. I will always remember you.” She hearted back. On my last day at the airport, I sent a picture of myself at the airport to her saying I was on the flight home. She said “Take care Sulu. 💗 I’m very happy to meet you. ☺️” I replied saying “You made me very happy over those 5 days”. She hearted my message and said “Thank you Sulu”. After dinner and saying goodbye, I got the same bus back to where I was staying. We didn’t have any nookie, just small hugs and kisses. We never said we love each other, or things like that. A switch seemed to flick in her head, one minute she was really keen to move to Europe with me, next minute, she had cold feet. I don’t know why she blocked me, I didn’t ask. I must have said or done something. If I did something, I am an idiot for doing that and losing her. She was an amazing woman. I don’t think she was trying to scam or play me, or see me as a free holiday, but what do I know? It seems a lot of effort to come and see me for 5 days just to scam me, then get on a bus for an hour, then wait and an hour to see me again. I know she was an unwanted child, kicked out by her parents, became homeless, and jobless. Although I couldn’t 100% verify her story, it was consistent and it made sense, and when I agreed to help her find a job and give her $25, she was emotional, she broke down in tears during the video call. In total, I gave her around US$250 in cash since January. $250 in their country isn't megabucks, it's barely enough to cover 3 months of expenses. She is 22 and never had a serious relationship, or any relationship really. I’m 35M, no ex wife, wife or kids. What are your thoughts on this? Thank you. TL;DR: I met an Asian woman online, I sent her some money as she said she was semi homeless. We continued talking, then after a month of talking, I said I would be going to her country to visit her (and other people). She agreed to meet me in the capital which was 4-5 hour bus ride for her. She stayed with me for 5 days. About a day after she left, she had blocked me on her social media and removed photos and videos of us together. I went to see her in person, she said that she didn't block me (which is not true), and she wasn't feeling well (I believe it's true). She wanted time to think about her feelings for me.