SooSad33

aww , yeah..sad 😞 . . But, didn't you mention she had started to act off before she left, Re the kids? Either way... she started to act not herself for a while.. then to just jump up & leave- out of character. If you wish, don't jump into legal affairs, just give it time. Time to see what more goes on - but don't expect much positive. In ways, it seems like she's going thru many emotions and need to deal with her choices.... so leave her to it. And you try to work thru your own.... remember, self care. your kids need you. ❤️ Many have been thru this.. it is not easy, I know.. especially those who never saw it coming 😕 (always last to know).

Aww wow, sorry you're going through this 😕 . As she had mentioned, she had been considering this for a while... so the rest is just excuses. Whether she is happy or not.. she chose to leave & start new. Was her choice, nothing you can do about that... Yes, seek for legal advice. Since she is the one who left, I am sure if all seems well there- you & kids, they can/should remain with you ( her visitation - if she wants?). It will be a while for you both to work on accepting all of this and adjust to the big changes going on, so be easy on yourself ❤️ . You sound like a well-minded man/father- which is good! The kids need that. This does happen a lot, so they will adjust & be okay, as long as they are not continously dragged into disputes, etc. and have some support ( you/family etc).

- Why were you okay with his cheating? (low self esteem?) - No reason you should feel the need to change. You know, people need to accept us for who we are.. and as he mentioned, too many differences... Fine, you need to accept that. - Right. He is so out of sorts - unstable. Last thing either of you need is to be involved. You need to step back and read all of that you said... See how he really is. You do not want someone like this! But to stay away from his mess and leave him be. He's got no real interest in you now or long term.. sorry 😞 * respect yourself* My advice... Don't! You have experienced enough of his instability - his cheating, depression, all of it.... WHY take on anymore?? Is time YOU realized, he's a loss. No good for you & your own well-being. He's messed up. This, you do not need!

But, I feel you have to overcome this... it all takes time. - Right, you are emotionally distressed. So do NOT go running for something new... you are not well. Not in a good frame of mind. Last thing you need for a while is any more involvements. As mentioned.. learn to be comfortable with yourself. I've been single a while and I don't want to be involved anymore - constant negative impacts & very draining! 😞 .. yes, my therapist mentioned being mentally & emotionally exhausted. So, since that (about 4+ yrs ago), I have not gotten involved again.. Nowadays, I have learned some new crafts to keep myself busy (making jams, pickling, baking more, doing crochet (via youtube etc)...and I have my small circle of friends I'll have occasional coffee with. Knowing I am fragile/broken due to so many negative experiences , I will not go there. I just don't have the need or want- because I do have some deep rooted anger/ hurt 😞 . So, maybe for you, you just spend time on your own, working through your damages etc (if you can't get any professional help). We need to learn to be happy alone and not feel that need to depend on anyone else to make us 'happy'. That doesn't work.

I wouldn't say he is 'lazy'.. possibly just not so picky. If he showered night before and at least has fresh breath.. fine. Why is this all about morning? Why not at night? When possibly you've both showered?

So, work things out - every time she takes off? SHE has issue's... you both do, if you can't Communicate . - So, she left... and said she did want a divorce... headed the way of an ex.. and got a tattoo... Weird! And now, after 9 months of YOU begging for her to return, she agree's ( I wonder if she's had a rebound & couldn't do it anymore?). Yup- a few issue's and to consider her coming back, things need to improve! Or, this idea of 'trying again' will not succeed. Yah, sadly it often doesn't 😞 . ( Because of the damage from the first BU (hard feelings), plus all of that which caused the BU. - Communication issue's.. and possibly lack of trust now? I'd think twice on all of this. To maybe accept this isn't workable, with how things are between you two?

Why? No idea why you did this? He is 18 . I am guessing you don't have kids... *Right now* This is like dating your son... nasty 😞 There is a HUGE age gap here.. YOU are welll beyond his years- with so many years experience. He is just getting started. As with such a young man with 'raging hormones', of course he be persuing you. Doesn't it end well, most often, Nope! You sound semi-desperate... sad. ( I do not attract men near my age, although I have tried & tried) - Are you maybe 'trying' too hard? Yeah, I wouldn't be too keen on my son getting involved with a woman same age as myself. Will most likely cause some distress eventually. His buddies will get a kick out of it... You do know that men don't fully mature until they are into their mid 20's? So you're technically amusing a child.

Ahh yeah.. I'm sure it does! :) Your mind & body are probably feeling 'less stress' present now? lol Well deserved 😉 Forgot to mention, another thing gramps did out in the country, was cut his own wood & made many nice things... tables, benches, even nice roses for grama. This last year or so., I have made jams & soaps as well as turning to Youtube to learn to crochet.. has taken a bit, but finally am learning that - as well hoping in next year to sew my first quilt. The possibilities are endless... just go at your own pace. :)

Ahh, retirement.. sweet! :) My parents have reached that, but still have their dog kennel as active, though part of it went to one of my brother's. They have remained on their land, built a newer home, so still remain close to the grandkids & my siblings. Dad remains with his outdoor interests, gardening, fixing up the land, and they walk/ ride bikes.. and yes they stay in routine, come mornings. - Some say the worst thing to do is get days & nights mixed up... But is okay to sleep a little later than normal, since there's no longer that need to be up every day ;). My gramps retired & also built their home one line over, he built up a second pond- was like a piece of heaven ❤️ .. So, he had his fish pond and grama did her paintings (canvas, rocks, etc) , baking and sewing/knitting. My 2 retired aunts, live out west, they keep up with their gardens, do some crafts and have taken the occasional cruise . IMO, one comes to learn their own 'mode'.. learning they can kick back and take their time and not over do things... Don't put too many expectations on yourself, as you now get to learn a few more things of yourself- ability to try new/more things out there.Will take a little time as you 'adjust' to this change... but smile for fact that you made it! :) You'll enjoy a lot more now . All the best.

You haven't seen him and don't intend to- until the pandemic is over?? Why would you even entertain the thought? YOU are still deeply affected by him.. what he has done to you.. As you say.. YOU "agreeing to 'stay friends', gave him the false impression that's what he's done in the past is water under the bridge, when it's not" - Think on that. You are obviously still bothered by ALL of this with him- of your past. I don't feel you two can be 'true friends'.. you're putting up a front, when him being a friend- isn't possible. Back off then, stop giving him your time/energy and be honest.. That this is a no go!

- Yah, good luck.. He is a liar. Some are. My son has a friend who is like this. he still deals with him- but is well aware of his behaviour... So, he knows now, where & when not to go with this guy. Fact is: He lies. And is YOUR choice to remain friends, then you WILL hear about everything! As for all he is saying.. as you two continue.. to talk about your past, involvement.. why does it matter? Why does it still bother you? ( You say you are over him....). How about you just stop talking about your past? It's done.. don't go there. - He is well aware of his behaviour - no need to point it out. ( some ppl do this so they can try & remain some sort of innocence- I feel an insecurity, because they know they're at fault). - YOU are annoyed by this 'friend'. Then stop dealing with him- as it is causing quite a disturbance on you. So, he is just not someone for you - to be in your life.

I have a feeling HE was just coasting along.. in comfort.. But then suddenly YOU made a move- he wasn't expecting? So, he's 'reacting', so you will get a whole mixed bag of tude.. ? I only dealt with my ex's as necessary re: our kids. ( of course they reacted in a negative for a good while). I don't play those games. We're all affected, of course. So, I suggest you try to keep to yourself- don't react to his acting up over it. He's going to need some time to work on accepting all of this. He NEEDS to learn to vent onto friends/family. I think only one or 2 ex's I was 'able' to accept as a 'friend-like' relation afterwards, since neither were affected, all was accepted and no harsh reactions (hurt).

I like Nature... rivers, tree's, birds. My son likes owls & penguins. All of my kids like gaming/characters.