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ChellyV

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About ChellyV

  • Birthday 06/28/1970

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  1. I say, cut ties. I know you probably feel like it is your moral responsibility to stick around, but in the best interest of your own marriage and your own "sanity", please distance yourself. She has to deal with the consequences of divorce independently of you, more so after 7 years. I tried to be friends with my ex-husband post divorce but he was not open to it. He remains in contact with my kids though (his stepkids). Fully understood and respectfully so. Really, it simplified an otherwise complicated divorce recovery process.
  2. Such chaos. Run and dont look back. If you are meant to be, it will come. In the meantime, move along...
  3. Reality is, $ is a strong presence in each home that fuels every action you take....vacation, studies, internet speed, order food or cook, turn heater on or just dress in layers... Love, and of course sex, flies out of the window without $. And oh, an idle mind is the devil’s workplace, there is a good chance he is in that mind of yours?
  4. I actually do, my bestfriend, but she is recovering from COVID. 😔 And gave me feedback about him being difficult sometimes. Ayayay.
  5. I thought this was a non-issue to me but I will be a hypocrite if I say it does not bother me. I thought I would be indifferent by now, but I am not! Grrr at myself. Ex-husband of 10 years separated in late 2019, and in the process of divorce. The cause of the demise is quite complex - a stepson who is a chronic thief (not sure what words best describes), lazy, disrespectful, and by year 7 of marriage, ex-husband would say “he does not love me, and will never love me”, slept separately for 3 years before the final kaput. I stayed hoping things will change, but its true what they say, you wake up and suddenly you are so tired of it. I asked him to leave. He admitted he was not ready for that, but I said, you will just have to figure it out. Just a week ago, he was stalking me on social media. Then, called me to say he will pay off our credit card. I said, I cannot make a lumpsum payment of my share, so we have to do a payment plan. He said, I can pay whenever. Called again about his covid scare, his union, his job, etc. Then today, called me ..his typical sarcasm over my text request for him to be present on a zoom call with our immigration lawyer, for my daughter’s I-130. I thought a simple smh reaction would do, but I was 😡😡😡😡. I did not articulate what I was feeling, I simply pretended not to hear it. The worst part is having to stay on the line for him to finish $@)*#)*!!@@## just so I can say what needed to be said, that his wet signature is required on one of the documents, and when may he find time to do it. Ah just venting. I am friends with most ex’s. This one is a challenge. May be a problem on my end too.
  6. I would love for someone to call me every night, specially in this pandemic! 😉 Compromise, and invest. Consider her time if you would like for her to consider yours.
  7. I am sorry for this. Maybe he sincerely thought the relationship with you would work, no intention to string you along. But 3 months is indeed too soon. Now, live and let live, I hope you find the right one for you. Of course that is easier said than done...but don't be in the space of jaded please. There are good people out there....
  8. Friends are not perfect, like us, but the moment they are disrespectful of your choices, it becomes stressful. You don't need that in this pandemic.
  9. I primarily made sure my kids are taken cared of, feeling the love between both parents, and did my utmost best to be the single provider and a mother at the same time. It was like putting my life on hold so my kids get adjusted to the new. After a couple of years, pursued my M.A. in an attempt to improve economics for me and my kids. A good 11 years after, re-married. I was around my family a lot, which aided me in making short term decisions. What you want to do as a person will get to you as you thread along. My kids are both grown ups now, and here I am, re-planning what to do on the long term but with a sense of peace that they grew up to be great invidividuals.
  10. You definitely did the right thing not inviting him in. And unfortunately, his reaction made the intent of the first date obvious. Let it go and re-consider your action of inviting him anew. If and when that happens, these are the assumed facts that should then be spoken, just to be clear with expectations. I am an “online dating pro” (which of course, decelerated with this pandemic) and I have never given my home address to anyone on the first few dates. Something I learned not to do, because I mistakenly gave it to someone on the 2nd date and he started showing up unnanounced. Not cool. Goodluck on your love hunt!
  11. I hope everyone is doing ok. I too have struggled so much being away from family. I live alone, and separated in 2019. While I typically find activities to keep me from being melancholic, sometimes you just need to stop and accept it, and just find ways to make it better. I hope this pandemic will be over soon.
  12. Hi Macro, Like you, I live away from my parents and have to take care of them financially, almost since I graduated college which is a good 30 years now. Like you, they have idiosyncracies that makes it challenging to be away. However, I suggest you pray and trust the Lord for we cannot do everything! It is just impossible. I gather that your mom is not living with you right now, why not ask other distant relatives for help and pay for their services? They key is them knowing your ability to financially sustain her care, sadly, money still propels action..in fact, a lot of action. You also need to take care of you. Whatever happened in the past is not lost time, it is preparing you for what is to come. I suggest open your heart and mind and take the leap of faith! Please keep us posted.
  13. Almost all public agencies I know (I work for one) has a Media Affairs department, or an External Affairs Department, in the private sector there is Marketing Graphics Department, where your skill is absolutey required! Try to sign up with a head hunter to explore opportunities while not completely abandoning your passion. Hunt for anything that will showcase your talent, specially in the online spectrum where WE all turn to these days. I am absolutely certain you will find one. On the interim, just get whatever is available to get you updated with your bills and stuff. This may be hurtful but my Mom once told me, when there is no $, love flies out of the window. Having had an ex who simply did not want to keep a job and raising small kids, it happened..in my case. Love flew out and running. Financial independence empowers you. Try to be there, not only to be treated better by others, but also for you to feel good about you.
  14. I have been working from home for a public agency, extremely thankful to still be employed. My 2nd job paused, which causes mild hardship. Only problem is weight gain, things are ok on my end. Consciously enforcing positivity everyday. I live alone and initially it was hard. Slowly I developed a routine, have a number of close friends and my kids to talk to everyday. I dread returning onsite, which was announced to happen mid July. Neighbors across the street caught COVID, so I am very cautious of my outdoor activities. I can’t give up 3 mile walks everyday and 30 minute Beach Body workout, I feel its better than vitamins for me right now. These neighbors are high risk and appear to be getting better now, just not yet allowed to be out of their home till the 27th. Please hang in there. Look for gigs, if that appeals to you i.e. Instacart delivery agent (high demand these days). FEMA is hiring, though slow.
  15. My ex husband is the same person you are describing. In the end, the absence of words you want to hear and the hug you want to get on bad days, outweighed the rest of what he brings.
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