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SooSad33

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  1. SooSad33's post in How do I move on? was marked as the answer   
    Because HE is feeling a sense of 'control'.
    YOU have options too you know.  You have options to walk away.. ignore his controlling aspect and just say Enough!
    But, he knows he is your weakness, so he plays it.
     
    I do not believe he is truly your 'best friend'.  You've come to lean on him a lot.  But, once that line has been crossed ( you've become 'more' than just friends), can be a challenge to totally 'let go'.
    True friends are supportive.  Not conniving.  And they hear you, they offer support.  Not make you feel like you are something useless. - Stop letting him lead you on.
    You NEED to take back your power. Realize you do not need him anymore.  To find yourself again.  Not sit back & accept some guy who's been telling you how to act! 
    You both can move on again. 
    You just need to see this.  That you do not need to 'cling' onto him anymore.
     
    Yeah, it doesn't work this way.
    He's either willing to try again - or not!  This is not a 'control game'.
    FACT : You two are not compatible, you already know this. So, you find someone out there in this great big World, who does fancy you.
     
    Yes, because it was someone new, who DID show you some proper affection - where you were lacking with your ex.... BUT, was still too much - you two never even got going on something real & healthy.
    You pulled, then pushed - way too soon for this to work.
     
    This is why you need some serious down time.  Do NOT go out searching because you are tired of being single.  Respect yourself more.. get better and to where you are NOT still into your ex- you know just recently you were willing to go there, again!
    Note: you are tired or working for a relationship- Right!  you are tired, as a relationship has expectations.  It does take energy, you don;t have that right now.. Slow this area of your life down for a while.. Stop giving yourself.  But just be on your own and focus on YOU.
     
    Because YOU were not ready. 
    So, please sit back a while.. slow everything down with expectations and just take care of yourself here.
    I do not feel you're close to ready to get involved again.  Is best to remain single some more.. Get yourself back to good.  Hang with friends, get out there & do things.  Take some down time now, to heal properly.  Not feel this 'need' to be involved again.
    Seriously, take care of YOU.
  2. SooSad33's post in Please help... I'm stuck and don't know what to do. was marked as the answer   
    If a relationship is over, does not mean that person hates you.. and yeah, they can miss you.
    She is trying to work on accepting it, same as you.
    So, I guess she is doing it this way - to rid of so much that reminds her of you... Sometimes that's  a way of not having 'reminders' all over the place 😕 .
    No, don't say any more.  I'm sure she knows...
    Being 'friends' with an ex is really not that easy.. Is best to remain at a distance.. don't be in her face.. No expectations, nothing. ( and is hard to act like a friend, once you've crossed that line).
    Is best to just have a clean break.  And distance from each other.  No contact, etc... in order to accept & heal.
     
    I think it has already happened.. why?  because she is hurting in many ways, you know this.
    The best relationship you two have had?  Wasn't it only 4 months?  
     
    I don't think you really see beyond what's been happening between you & her.
    But you need to.  She is broken inside - full of emotions over her parents break up.  She has NO room for you.. and she won't for a good while.  She's got a lot going on in there. ( this could also affect her in some rough ways, in the long run) .  But. she can't handle being involved at this time in her life.
     
    As I mentioned, it was for 4 months.  Has not been that long, really.  And yes, it is always so great in the beginning!  (which is where I think it was for you- called the honeymoon phase).  Then, a sudden crash & all falls apart 😕 .
     
    I feel, the best thing for you to do now, is just be respectful and give her some space.  Let her work through her emotions, with the note that you're around IF she needs to talk or anything.. and leave it that way.
    Because, the last thing she needs is guilt or pressures from you.  
    I know, it hurts,, but she is hurting as well... what could help both of you is some therapy - grief counselling.
    If you have some friends to hang with now & then. go that way.. Journaling is also helpful... All you want to say to 'vent', do it there.
     
     
  3. SooSad33's post in About my crush was marked as the answer   
    First of all, do not get mad with him.  He is supposed to be your 'friend'.  If you get pushy, he will pull away.
    Second, he is trying to be a 'friend', which means he is trying to be there for you AND many others.  We can only do so much - so don't expect so much from him.
    Maybe it is best that you just ask him.... but then you do risk losing him as a 'friend'. As, often if it goes further and does not work out, it causes stress on the friendship you once had 😕 
    So, choose carefully.  if you can't handle how he is being with you now, maybe stop calling & depending on him so much this way.  Back off a little... give him some space.
    But, you should not be getting mad with him- who is only supposed to be a friend.
    You need to control your emotions . If you can't, you're becoming to reliant on him to make you feel better.
    Yes, could end up causing some problems.
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