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SooSad33 last won the day on August 21

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  1. No, not every woman does this ( and it goes both ways... men can be this way as well). I am not friends with any of them really. Maybe one which whom I never felt that much of a connection in order to affect me, so was easy to remain in my friend zone. You really need to sit back and take a look at the whole picture.. Get away from her desperate attention ways. SHE is not stable.
  2. Okay, you already said these were red flags... so she has pulled you into her love-bombing web? πŸ˜• You know it is not 'love',, yah she came on strong, but not anymore.. is how it goes. Why you'd take anything seriously, with being aware of her uncertainty, no idea why you'd expect that all to last past 3 months? Yup, I guess she did kinda **** you up? What do you do? Nothing.. You back away now and say no more! Save yourself and get away from her. Has only been 3 months!
  3. Just see it as just that.. a dream. Yes, things like this can push a memory back up to the front for a short while but it's okay. It happens to many, having dreams. Is your brains way of sorting things out and we have no control over that. You'll feel rough for a few days, but it will fade again. Our first love is often a very memorable one. So, accept what is and realize it is okay to still think of her. We're human, we feel. Don't feel bad or guilty, ride these emotions and be kind to yourself. ( I often suggest to other's to journal your thoughts, etc. It sometimes helps to 'get it out' another way.. If you find you're still kinda 'stuck', this may help you work through some things).
  4. I agree with all above responses. You're messed up about a lot of things, including respect to a 'partner', not fall back because you didn't get what you wanted. ( isn't this the case? You ran back to her because you got nowhere with the stripper? If so, look at your own track record and respectfully get out of this with her) . IF someone is truly into you they will not act like this! It's basically just using someone.. until something better comes along.. so don't. To want to be involved only because YOU don't want to be alone is so wrong! And to even consider confronting her over something so small as her FB interaction is pathetic. No reason to even go there!
  5. She is 22.. and has that feeling she's free and will roam. You two are not together and I know it hurts 😞 . Is best to remain at a distance and let her live it up. Nothing more you can do. You two broke up for reason's, so whatever caused this ( whether it be because she was uncertain, trust, etc) has to be worked out before anything could work out between you two again). IF she is still wanting to come back to you at some point, she needs to be sure & not string you along again & again. And whatever caused the BU needs to be fixed. Sadly, usually a 2nd go around isn't so successful πŸ˜• . Meanwhile, work on yourself now and avoid anything to do with her.. No begging or chasing.. or following. Is best you turn the other cheek and focus on just you.. or you will continue to get hurt. One needs time to work on accepting the loss, deal with our emotions before we feel healed at all. Give yourself that. Time to work on accepting all of this. Be strong.
  6. Remain as friends only. Don't look at crossing that line. Like you said, is good that you two are at least friends now. She really should not be approaching you like she is. Maybe keep a bit of distance so she can't. Often, times is best that some remain friends only, as to not ruin that by getting involved... as it will spoil that friendship.
  7. This is stuff you have to consider...Asides from this age thing. Don't go getting yourself involved with someone just because they are persistant. How I see some things here, is YOU don't feel up to par , comparing yourself to him. ( His looks to yours , etc). I guess it is a good idea to think all of this through, is it being only 2 dates so far. So, you really won't know quite yet if you two are truly compatible. How well do you actually know him? ( just 2 dates worth?), so you don't know much more eg. his history/track record, if he's actually 'able' to handle a long-term relationship or if you two are even compatible... yet. As for your end of this... you were mistreated by an ex? Did that cause some issue's on you? Is it still? ( are you okay now or still affected by that?). Anyways, it has only been 2 dates, so you really don't know anything yet on if this is able to work. You both need a little more time... and once the 'physical attraction' eases off and you two see deeper ( reality hits), will you see if it's anything workable. ( If you both hold some interest & continue). That's all it is. But, if you feel you're just not into this 'age thing', be honest & speak up. Don't drag it on any longer than it should.
  8. Okay, so looking at your post title, being Extremely jealous & controlling.. So, you know this already. I'm just wondering why you're still around all of this? πŸ˜• This is nothing but toxic & damaging. I am sure you know that No One has control over who you are friends with, to the music you listen to for whatever reason!... Right? No one has ever looked thru my phone. No one has ever told me who I can be friends with or talk to. And if anyone accused me of cheating, lying etc when I wasn't is cause for alarm! Be strong and run! Never look back. She's a nightmare πŸ˜•
  9. All of this & you have trust issue's? Meaning you're still affected or not over your ex? Not good. One should NOT feel the need to run into someone else's arms to try & get over an ex.. or because they are needy/ feel lonely. A good frame of mind is best and to not be still affected by an ex. But, to go into a new relationship stable & comfortable/happy. Yes, maybe you do need some work on self . Not over react because this dude hasn't messaged you too much lately... could be because yes, he may have some of his own issue's going on and also because the 'honeymoon phase' is over. So, you can choose to lay back and take it as it comes.. w/out assumptions. People can push other's away being over bearing. Sounds like you're willing to give this more time. Fine, but be careful or you will push him away. Plus, remember, yes communication is important! So, if you feel he continues to do this push/pull, Don't sit back & take it. Find out what he's doing this for, because I feel IF someone is truly into you you'll know it, not be confused on where you stand.
  10. I suggest you respectfully leave her be to accept & heal. Not keep dragging anything on with this. You should follow your dreams. Travel as you so enjoy with no regrets! I'm sure you cared for her, that's fine, but you two just are not that compatible, you think? Then let it be done now. She will accept & move on, as will you. It all just takes a little time, it's the norm. The more you hang on & drag all of this along, the harder things are to deal with. In time, maybe you two can be 'friends', but don't expect it. As it is hard to be 'just friends' with an ex, unless or until you know you are over them. Even still, some prefer to just wipe the slate clean and keep moving ahead. I have a couple brothers who love travelling as well. They settled, eventually & yes, travel became less frequent. But, they also travelled on their own. So, work on yourself now & work on accepting what is. Live your life as you wish.
  11. No, you do not need to make yourself go out and do anything. Is okay to feel and go with the flow. If you need to cry, then do it. Feel it and be easy on yourself, You are hurting. It all takes time.. to work through all of this & the emotions, etc. Is okay to even lay in bed all weekend. Self care is important. Journaling can also be helpful, to 'get it out' another way. Just write & write all you want to say.. When I was at a loss & struggling, I'd 'vent' all my thoughts. The pains & anger sitting inside. And I'd do it for months! Until I started to feel a bit better.. not as 'emotional' and getting over him. Maybe try to get out for some air, take a walk now & then & go see a friend. Binge watch your fave shows.. get lost in your music & let the tears flow for a while.. and try to get your sleep. So, go one day at a time and allow yourself to feel & go through it as you must. We are human & we feel ❀️ . One day at a time.
  12. You say this. ^ They probably kicked into 'super parents', when you had your loss then all got lost in 'reality'. Good to hear how much you've changed & improved now.. yes, all takes time. But.. now it's time..... Maybe time to move out & move on? As mentioned, search for a roomate, rent a room etc? My oldest shared a basement apt a cpl times as he worked on his studies at a college over an hour away. I feel, IF you are desperate enough, you'll do it.
  13. I don't believe self esteem is 'earned', but felt . If you have low self esteem is due to your own frame of mind .. and internal thoughts, etc. If you're feeling so low, is most likely due to some reason's or your mental stability. Is normal to feel frustrated throughout our lives, like we are going nowhere, just not happy with a few things, etc. Re: your work, experience etc, as long as YOU are happy about it, your accomplishments etc, then no one else's opinion matters. Is what YOU want and like. As for your gf issue, that's simple enough. If you don't feel 'happy' around her anymore, then maybe it's run it's ground and you need to remove yourself from that situation now. Yes, usually we aim for things that we want, things we want to change, etc. So, don't sit in the little puddle of mud. Change a few things to your own liking. Having a nice amt saved up for yourself is good! You're succeeding there. For many it can take a good while to progress. have a savings acct, etc. But do what you want in your life. And ignore what anyone else has to say. πŸ™‚
  14. I get the feeling you're just at a low point, like you admitted. But, please dont risk yourself in this! She is off & you know it. Okay, so it's been a while.. same here. But, I will NOT put myself in a bad situation. And believe me.. alcy's are No Good! I have an alcoholic ex and yes, they are nothing but a negative πŸ˜• . You know the saying. 'married to the bottle'? You can do better.. how about a dating site? Get to know someone who doesn't seem so sketchy and just wanting to tease some local, single dude. See? This is not for you. Maybe just keep your distance now and focus on YOU. Keep working on yourself & get to feeling a bit better... And stop going to a 'bar' to meet a woman. ( she can drink you under the table.. oh yay!) Not πŸ˜• Keep moving on.
  15. What is it you want him to say? I feel he's keeping you at a distance for some reason. Why are YOU acting so cold with him? Opposite ends & no kiss goodbye... And as for YOU ignoring him until you think he is ignoring you is just head games. Don't do that. As for everyone around you.. Why are they saying this? is it due to what you are saying about him?
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