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itsallgrand
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I've been having a difficult time and yesterday was particularly bad. My mental health isn't in the best place, and now I have a tooth that needs extracting. The dentist asked I wait til the antibiotics have had a chance to work before doing it. He also said I looked really scared, and I was and am. It's not just the tooth, though I am really bummed about that. I put a lot of money into it, it's a root canal tooth, and it's been nothing but problems since I had I done. It got inflammed after my miscarriage and now it's a fracture that can't be saved. Blah.

 

It is just a straw on this camels back that sort of made me snap. I feel so disheartened, sad, apathetic.

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I've been having a difficult time and yesterday was particularly bad. My mental health isn't in the best place, and now I have a tooth that needs extracting. The dentist asked I wait til the antibiotics have had a chance to work before doing it. He also said I looked really scared, and I was and am. It's not just the tooth, though I am really bummed about that. I put a lot of money into it, it's a root canal tooth, and it's been nothing but problems since I had I done. It got inflammed after my miscarriage and now it's a fracture that can't be saved. Blah.

 

It is just a straw on this camels back that sort of made me snap. I feel so disheartened, sad, apathetic.

 

Awww sweetheart it will be ok. Same thing happened to me last year with a bottom molar. Have them put you to sleep with twilight sedation. It was the best thing ever. As you know I have severe dental phobia. Honestly this was the best. It was expensive I won’t lie. The sedation was $400 but so so so worth not being terrorized and you don’t remember a thing.

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Big Hugs ItsAllGrand. I'm so sorry to read about your miscarriage and losing your mother. That's a lot to go through.

 

Oh that bus conversation. Not nice. mostly when I catch the train to Melbourne which can tie between 3.5 and 5 plus hours - depending on what issues the railways are having), people are generally nice, but I don't like being in confined spaces for that amount of time. I really HATE if I am bear people who cough and obviously have a flu virus. Almost every time I visit Melbourne, within a few days, I will come down with something. I see people in Melbourne, particulRly Asian people walking about wearing surgical masks, supposedly to give themselves some protection. Sorry for getting off track there, but yeah, I prefer not having to use public transport too. Xxx

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Silver, when people wear masks in public it makes me very uncomfortable. In a hospital - I understand. In public- it really bothers me, though I won't go into that right now. But yes, I do understand being wary of flus and other air Bourne illnesses when taking public transportation or any confined space with many people.

 

Sherrysher, thanks for the kind words too. I appreciate it.

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I had my dentist appointment today and the tooth was extracted. It went quite well, no complications and didn't take long .

I also had requested the same dental assistant, if she would be there, and she was. I immedietly liked her when first meeting her during my appointment last time, competent and empathetic.

When the dentist came in he immedietly apologized for 'being insensitive' last appointment. He said the assistant had called him out on his curtness, and he was sorry, and he hoped I didn't think he 'was always an ass'. I was not expecting any apology, as I had never complained, and I also didn't think he was terrible in how he behaved. It wasn't ideal, but there is far far worse- real insensitivity and sometimes incompetence in health care roles.

 

The real issue is/was my anxiety. I was scared. Out of proportion scared. I was shaking like a leaf the whole time, even when it was over. And I'm used to medical professionals often NOT accomadating that. But they made an effort, which helped a lot and was so appreciated.

 

I said to my fiancé earlier today, when he was being great and feeling bad about having to work and not be there during/after it was done, that him being understanding and not putting shame on me for 'being a wimp' was really a very big deal to me and his empathy is part of why I love him so much. Not everyone 'gets it', these certain fears and anxieties and responses to certain things I have, and that's ok, but acknowledging it can be enough from loved ones. It is that way and it's all a matter of managing it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

After all these years, I think I finally kicked my caffeine addiction. Leading up to deciding we did want to try to have a child, I cut way back on my coffee consumption, limiting it to one regular sized mug a day in the morning. I love coffee, and I have been drinking more than is probably ( no definitely) good for me for a long time. So it wasn't all that easy to change, but I started drinking more herbal teas, and now that has stuck. I think part of it is I really like having hot drinks, I find it soothing. My favorite is still chamomile or chamomile with lavender. And it's a lot more healthy for my anxiety as well, rather than feeding it , it helps calm me down.

 

May seem minor to some but for those who have been coffee addicts for a long time and tried to stop , you'll know what I mean.

 

I'm contemplating now whether it would be worth it to elimate it altogether or at least tapering off from every day. It can't hurt and it might help, and so why not?

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The flus this year are just nasty!! I had managed to avoid it, being scrupulous about washing my hands and hygiene, but because I have to be around people so much for my work, it was inevitable I'd get one. Friday morning I started feeling ill, but I powered through the day. Saturday I left a few hours early from work, as it kept getting worse. Only today am I beginning to emerge from my caccoon - literally bed, the bathroom, and the couch and kitchen.

I don't think it's a coincidence either that it's right when the weather went from winter freeze to single digits.

 

We are down one full time staff member , for over a month now, and that meant extra hours for me. I didn't mind as that person really needed to go! But when gathering my info for taxes, I realized just how much I actually work. It's a lot. A 40 hour work week would seem like a break . There's my regular job that during times when we are fully staffed, is 50 hours at least. Plus I have other side projects.

I've been doing this for years but in the last year even more- to hit certain goals and responsibilities.

 

Those closest to me have been expressing concern about it for a while. That I work too much, and don't need to - I think I'm finally ready to listen.

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I got the flu this year, but I got off easy. It was probably the lightest case of the flu that I've ever had!! But I know that my case was the exception and not the rule. Actually, I've been sick on and off since October--FIVE TIMES! Mono, upper respiratory infection, flu, upper respiratory infection, cold. I think that being sick like this all winter was key to escaping a bad flu. I was sick of being sick. So at the first sign of fever I went straight to the doctor and got tamaflu. Nipped it right in the bud. Also, I finally RESTED. I think I kept getting sick because I wouldn't rest. When I got this last cold, my boyfriend was at his wit's end with me not resting. But I did rest and the cold didn't get worse.

 

Definitely get some good rest. It is really important.

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  • 1 month later...

I've been decluttering and streamlining.

I cut the hours I am working at my main job. 40 hours and that's it there.

I went through my closets and drawers. Donated and threw away bags and bags.

Everything is being spring cleaned and refreshed.

My SO got on board too, going through his things and selling or donating a lot of excess.

 

It feels good. I'm not done yet, but a weight has lifted already.

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I've been decluttering and streamlining.

I cut the hours I am working at my main job. 40 hours and that's it there.

I went through my closets and drawers. Donated and threw away bags and bags.

Everything is being spring cleaned and refreshed.

My SO got on board too, going through his things and selling or donating a lot of excess.

 

It feels good. I'm not done yet, but a weight has lifted already.

 

You and I are on the same wavelength! I have been donating bags of things too. It feels so good.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I love Sundays. I like the practice of having a day of rest. Though everything is open now on Sundays, and I haven't gone to a church service on this day since I was living at home , the one thing I do is keep Sunday as a day unlike the others. A break. Sleep in. Have a big breakfast. Spend time at home, spend time going to visit family and friends. A pause.

Love Sundays.

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I've been decluttering and streamlining.

I cut the hours I am working at my main job. 40 hours and that's it there.

I went through my closets and drawers. Donated and threw away bags and bags.

Everything is being spring cleaned and refreshed.

My SO got on board too, going through his things and selling or donating a lot of excess.

 

It feels good. I'm not done yet, but a weight has lifted already.

 

It’s funny how therapeutic decluttering is. I just did the pantry/kitchen cupboards...and it felt so great.

 

I’d love to go through the storage rooms but Jay wants to save everything “just in case”...it’s a bit ridiculous. I need to wait for him to go on another work trip....and purge the basement in secret.

 

I’m glad you’re doing well :)

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My home is currently having a construction project going on. In the meantime my kitchen was to be painted (but delayed) and I had cleared out all my cabinets and got rid of a lot of `stuff'

Until which time the kitchen is painted I am limited to using what is stored in my dishwasher.

 

It's interesting that I think I wouldn't mind living this way indefinitely. I use a spoon, wash it and put it back in the dishwasher to dry.

 

Funny how in reality we don't really need all this `stuff'

99% of my kitchen stuff is in boxes in my dining room. I am not sure I'd miss it if it all disappeared tomorrow :)

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ItÂ’s funny how therapeutic decluttering is. I just did the pantry/kitchen cupboards...and it felt so great.

 

I’d love to go through the storage rooms but Jay wants to save everything “just in case”...it’s a bit ridiculous. I need to wait for him to go on another work trip....and purge the basement in secret.

 

IÂ’m glad youÂ’re doing well :)

 

Here too I have one who kept so much stuff 'just in case' and 'I can easily fix that, that's one of my projects'. ;) I think he's finally getting the appeal of not keeping so much though, which I'm so happy about. Honestly I was a bit worried, as I'm quite a minimalist person when it comes to stuff ( I like a lot of space to move around and I find I feel stressed - almost a trapped feeling- if there is too much around me). My worry was it would become an issue of me making space, and him filling it back up again. But I think we've reached a good place with that now where we understand the other well enough that my worries subsided.

 

Glad to see a post from you faraday :)

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My home is currently having a construction project going on. In the meantime my kitchen was to be painted (but delayed) and I had cleared out all my cabinets and got rid of a lot of `stuff'

Until which time the kitchen is painted I am limited to using what is stored in my dishwasher.

 

It's interesting that I think I wouldn't mind living this way indefinitely. I use a spoon, wash it and put it back in the dishwasher to dry.

 

Funny how in reality we don't really need all this `stuff'

99% of my kitchen stuff is in boxes in my dining room. I am not sure I'd miss it if it all disappeared tomorrow :)

 

There's something fun about that , right?! Or is it just me being odd? Lol. I get that it can be stressful to have your home in disarray while renos or construction is going on, for sure. But I mean, living with not too much excess - it's kinda fun . It can be really nice sometimes.

 

One of my favorite things to do is camp. One of the things I like about it is the taking not much and winging it from there. It's fun and peaceful to me. When some load up the whole comforts of home to go camp, it sort of defeats the purpose to me of getting away from that. Fine for those who like it , but on those times, I'll stay in a hotel !:)

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I've been having dreams about a large and bald baby. The dreams are just me holding this baby, caring for him ( it's always a boy in the dreams). They are happy dreams.

 

When I see women and families where the child(ren) are loved and taken care of, I feel happy and hopeful. When I come across women and families where that isn't so, it springs to life hurt inside me. My personal ones, not only empathy for the children.

 

We've discussed and looked into adoption. It's a long process, you know. So it's better to start early. My own parents were in the process when they conceived me. They had even been approved and were waiting when mom got pregnant.

They really put you under the microscope. And that's all fine.

But I've seen the system and I know it's a very different standard if you biologically bear the child. I get upset sometimes seeing that in action.

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