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  2. Hey, I hope it goes well for you. When I found out it was carcinoma, I absolutely thought the worst. Im bit funny about talking much about it. I went to a website especially for bladder cancer in 2011. A lot of people couldnt dyay because they got stuck in obsessing about it. I used to think constantly about it in the first 2 years, and I became wrecked by it. Was like dying twice. Still, Im sure it helps others to talk about it. A lotof peoplr would disahree with this, but because my cancer was low-grade - I had MANY recurrences, the surgeon and I chose to only do my cystosvopic trsting oncr a uear. I couldnt manage the consyant in and out of hospital as well, the doctors had different opinions on chemo - I forget the name of it, bit it is put dirrctly into thr bladder. I chose not to have it.
  3. Sharon, Im sorry if it camr out hat way. Btw, my cancer was first diagnosed 2011 and was carcinima of the bladder but so far has been low invasive. I was terrified for the first coupke of years. To ke, the fact is that I would almost het that he is a good guy, and it sounds lije you love each other. People like that dont cone along all the time, and relationships are probably never perfect. I think you should let it be, and good luck.
  4. But he isnt smoking around you. Its his choice and if its that unbearable for you, then he muatnt be right for you. Many of us have had cancer or other health issues. Dont think that all partners stay around to support.
  5. It probably hasnt occurred to most of you that a lot of older women would be sickened to the point of almost vomit at the thought of sexual involvement with a much younger man. Once again, an older woman is demonised for breathing.
  6. It totally galls me that older women face so. Much discrimination in the workplace. Its usually preferable to employers that some poor whingey baby be employed in favor of an older experienced reliable and mature person. How dare that worker ask over your health. Best thing is to resign and lock Yourself away at home so. Your risk of people asking how you are is reduced. BTW, how many sick days do you take??? Sounding like it may be frequent.
  7. Its not enough for you that he treated you amazingly well. The best thing is for you to dump him and then you can meet someone else and so can he. The guy took you for a holiday in the sun???? This might burst the bubble youre living inside of, but for some people, having cancer is a deal breaker. I know, Ive had it. He needs to be with someone who isnt going to get moody with him whrn he gors outside for a cigatette - and who he doesnt have to spend years running around after. Free him so that he can meet someone who is going to be good to him.
  8. The book is good. Also, if you are interested in psychopathy, he recommrnded Ann Rules true crime books. The most chilling one is her book on Ted Bundy. She actually knew him personally before anyone suspected he was a serial killer. I could hardly put the book down until I finished it.
  9. They definitely have diffetent thought pricrssrs to most of us.
  10. Jib, I was in a long-term relationship with a forensic psycholigist. He recommended a book to me written for layperson by Canadian, Dr Bob Hare who he had met.
  11. Hi ip, I hope you are doing okay. Im sorry for the experience you had in your teens ehichbmust have been very traumatising. Itcsoubds like you try as best as you can to mive on from that. You might find it helpful to read some nlibe articles on attachment styles - especially if you read upnon the dynamics betweenboeipkecwith an "anxious attachment style" and people who dall into the continuum of beibg avoidant. I think it likely that even if you had known this man longer, the outcome would have been the same. I had a similar pattern in so many of my relationships. In a ptevious relationship - where I had known a man for over a year before becomibg involved, he pushed me away. That eas after him oursuibg me. Tellibg other people he lujed me so much, even crying once in front of me saying he was scared I would walkb way. I wasted far too much of my life trying to work him out. For my own sake, and also because I just couldnt keep doing that pattern of relationships, I had another longish stretch of being alone. Depending on your outook on life, a lot of ua see ourselves as works in progress. I was always getting involved with menbwho were avoidants. Im currently seeing someone who I dont believe is entrenched in that behaviour (which is a way they cope witg their own issues). The anxiety for me is something Im working hard on. Good Luck X
  12. The guy is a champion manipulator - POSSIBLY a narcissist. I think hes likely well-read on the Pick-Up Artist techniques and more. He knows exactly what he is doing. These types are oxygen thieves. Honestly, run, do whatever it takes to not have this person in your life please.
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