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Everything posted by Silverbirch

  2. Hey, I hope it goes well for you. When I found out it was carcinoma, I absolutely thought the worst. Im bit funny about talking much about it. I went to a website especially for bladder cancer in 2011. A lot of people couldnt dyay because they got stuck in obsessing about it. I used to think constantly about it in the first 2 years, and I became wrecked by it. Was like dying twice. Still, Im sure it helps others to talk about it. A lotof peoplr would disahree with this, but because my cancer was low-grade - I had MANY recurrences, the surgeon and I chose to only do my cystosvopic trsting oncr a uear. I couldnt manage the consyant in and out of hospital as well, the doctors had different opinions on chemo - I forget the name of it, bit it is put dirrctly into thr bladder. I chose not to have it.
  3. Sharon, Im sorry if it camr out hat way. Btw, my cancer was first diagnosed 2011 and was carcinima of the bladder but so far has been low invasive. I was terrified for the first coupke of years. To ke, the fact is that I would almost het that he is a good guy, and it sounds lije you love each other. People like that dont cone along all the time, and relationships are probably never perfect. I think you should let it be, and good luck.
  4. But he isnt smoking around you. Its his choice and if its that unbearable for you, then he muatnt be right for you. Many of us have had cancer or other health issues. Dont think that all partners stay around to support.
  5. It probably hasnt occurred to most of you that a lot of older women would be sickened to the point of almost vomit at the thought of sexual involvement with a much younger man. Once again, an older woman is demonised for breathing.
  6. It totally galls me that older women face so. Much discrimination in the workplace. Its usually preferable to employers that some poor whingey baby be employed in favor of an older experienced reliable and mature person. How dare that worker ask over your health. Best thing is to resign and lock Yourself away at home so. Your risk of people asking how you are is reduced. BTW, how many sick days do you take??? Sounding like it may be frequent.
  7. Its not enough for you that he treated you amazingly well. The best thing is for you to dump him and then you can meet someone else and so can he. The guy took you for a holiday in the sun???? This might burst the bubble youre living inside of, but for some people, having cancer is a deal breaker. I know, Ive had it. He needs to be with someone who isnt going to get moody with him whrn he gors outside for a cigatette - and who he doesnt have to spend years running around after. Free him so that he can meet someone who is going to be good to him.
  8. The book is good. Also, if you are interested in psychopathy, he recommrnded Ann Rules true crime books. The most chilling one is her book on Ted Bundy. She actually knew him personally before anyone suspected he was a serial killer. I could hardly put the book down until I finished it.
  9. They definitely have diffetent thought pricrssrs to most of us.
  10. Jib, I was in a long-term relationship with a forensic psycholigist. He recommended a book to me written for layperson by Canadian, Dr Bob Hare who he had met.
  11. Hi ip, I hope you are doing okay. Im sorry for the experience you had in your teens ehichbmust have been very traumatising. Itcsoubds like you try as best as you can to mive on from that. You might find it helpful to read some nlibe articles on attachment styles - especially if you read upnon the dynamics betweenboeipkecwith an "anxious attachment style" and people who dall into the continuum of beibg avoidant. I think it likely that even if you had known this man longer, the outcome would have been the same. I had a similar pattern in so many of my relationships. In a ptevious relationship - where I had known a man for over a year before becomibg involved, he pushed me away. That eas after him oursuibg me. Tellibg other people he lujed me so much, even crying once in front of me saying he was scared I would walkb way. I wasted far too much of my life trying to work him out. For my own sake, and also because I just couldnt keep doing that pattern of relationships, I had another longish stretch of being alone. Depending on your outook on life, a lot of ua see ourselves as works in progress. I was always getting involved with menbwho were avoidants. Im currently seeing someone who I dont believe is entrenched in that behaviour (which is a way they cope witg their own issues). The anxiety for me is something Im working hard on. Good Luck X
  12. The guy is a champion manipulator - POSSIBLY a narcissist. I think hes likely well-read on the Pick-Up Artist techniques and more. He knows exactly what he is doing. These types are oxygen thieves. Honestly, run, do whatever it takes to not have this person in your life please.
  13. What I personalLy find creepy is a small number of people whi post on this site claiming that they actually dont have any problems themselves - THEY are on ENA to HELP OTHERS. Then Ive seen them really laying into others with some fairly personalised and aggressive comments and advice. THAT is definitely creepy to me.
  14. I cant access my photos right now, but would like to leave you with this.
  15. Hey, I would really like to see you have a journal here and put some of your photos on it. I love the Bunny Girl photo, and be very interested to know your intentions of what you were depicting. What is the gold crap near her feet? I dont work in arts, but my son does and I love his photos. I love taking photos, but I choose to only use the most basic technology. I work in a caring profession, and have had 2 elderly male clients who were successful professional painters. I worked closely with both of them, and their art, and how they were with me - their demeanor and conversation seemed to me that they are intrigued by women, and their art reflected that. I do "get" your feelings about your own art, of it being part of you - your lens of your world.
  16. Thats Annie Hall right? Ive often found Woody Allen creepy, but Iused to work with a woman eho had the looks of a goddess, and she thought he was hot
  17. Yes, good idea to let the ex do the heavy work, and that your son can have both parents for the special occasion.
  18. Ive wondered about that as well, but it could actualky be something quite opposite. When I was younger, I knew a man much older than myself who had travelled to Japan many times, and at that time, he used to say that I was very much like a Japanese woman. To him it was a compliment - to me, it most certainly wasnt. He meant, that in appearance, I was like a delicate flower. In personality, I was always smiling, agreeable, listening to him with few needs of my own. Years later, for a time, I studied, or attempted to study a branch of Japanese philisophy. I learned that the Japanese mind is so different to the western mind. What made the study so difficult is that there are many Japanese words which have no direct translation into English. Understanding NDs attraction to eastern, especially Japanese women could be either or both because of physical or intellectual. I dont know if he speaks Japanese or if he understands those differences. People are all different, but generally, Japanese people are just NICE.
  19. Inside you is a Goddess which you have become disconnected from. She is still there and always will be. You just need to reconnect. X
  20. Hey Babe, youre not gross and nothing sounded gross to me. Maybe the poster just meant that in her situation, she felt misunderstood, and that upset her.
  21. But, it doesnt really matter because if she wants to, she will.
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