(Bratty) Children in libraries, a vent.

[Fudgie]

sophie,

 

I've been in a few alcohol-laced places where there are rude adults and what happens? They get thrown out. As they should! You don't hear too much about rude adults because when adults "act up" like children do, they either get thrown out and/or have charges like "disorderly conduct". And that's sort of the end of it all. That doesn't happen to kids and when they act up, NOTHING is done. That is why people complain.

 

I don't get it as much when I'm at home because people there arent' too bad but where i am at college, I feel like there are hordes of kids in this town and not many are able to be controlled by the parents. So I complain when I am here...well complain as in to my friends and ENA online, haha. I feel like I can't talk to the parent or else I'll get socked.

[anya1607307555]

I accepted many pages back that this had little to do with children in public libraries lol, and more a rant at poor parenting, which I don't disagree with. People need to complain about specific incidents not ban all children from every public place.

[sophie274]

I don't know if it's the down grade of our society (lol) or what but down here, were Im at, it's like every time I turn around. A few months ago there was a kid in our waiting room who threw a Coke bottle at his mom -full, btw - when she told him to sit down and be quiet because, well, we are a hospital. It comes in waves for me. I can go a really long time without encountering them and then it's like wth?

 

Sure, that's egregious. But once every few months ... 4 to 6 times a year? That's not really every time you turn around. I know you didn't mention every incident you've seen, of course.

I just think, what is it about children misbehaving in public that gets people so riled up? I see adults behaving in yucky ways several times a day.

 

sophie,

 

I've been in a few alcohol-laced places where there are rude adults and what happens? They get thrown out. As they should! You don't hear too much about rude adults because when adults "act up" like children do, they either get thrown out and/or have charges like "disorderly conduct". And that's sort of the end of it all. That doesn't happen to kids and when they act up, NOTHING is done. That is why people complain.

 

I don't get it as much when I'm at home because people there arent' too bad but where i am at college, I feel like there are hordes of kids in this town and not many are able to be controlled by the parents. So I complain when I am here...well complain as in to my friends and ENA online, haha. I feel like I can't talk to the parent or else I'll get socked.

 

Really, though?

Whenever there are loud people at a movie, I never see them thrown out. Nothing ever happens to the jerks who tailgate me in my town because I refuse to get a speeding ticket (they are vicious about them here, $300/each). People catcalling in the streets, people in customer service positions who don't attend to you for ages for no good reason, walkers on the running path who won't let you by. To me these are all people "misbehaving" - gosh, I think in general children have much more consequences for their daily behavior than adults.

Anyway, I don't want to spoil the party, but yeah I do find the level of collective annoyance surprising given my daily encounters/interactions with kids.

[Fudgie]

In my hometown theatre, they have "attendants" who will throw people out of a movie if they are loud. For the other stuff, no, I agree, nothing much is done. Unless you're lucky enough to pass by an attentive officer while you're being tailgated so he can give a ticket to the tailgater

[petite]

I think there is a vast difference between teenagers and little kids. A teenager should have been taught certain manners and one hopes they would know when not to push their luck.

 

Actually the other night I was at a business dinner with some clients and two families came to the restaurant. You often don't see many families there, not only because of the type of dining but because its well known that business tyle people have dinners and lunches there. To cut a long story short one family was extremely polite and the children were so well behaved, but the other family with two boys left much to be desired about their attitude. The boys were crawling on the floor, under our table and at one point nearly tripped a waiter. In a matter of 20 minutes about 4 tables left because they were constantly being interrupted by these boys. The parents did nothing but smile.

 

I grocery shop 2-3 times a week (fresh fruit lover) and I try to skip times/days when I know families might be out to make my own grocery shopping easier. Having someone yelling and running in front of you or slamming into you is not my idea of zen.

 

Its not even that children are always misbehaving, I have nephews and nieces and I adore kids but there is only so much I'm willing to tolerate. I don't blame kids, I blame parents. And one major reason for that is entitlement. Parents thinking they are entitled to preferential treatment just because they have kids. The problem is they seem to think just because they have a child they get a break, because parenting is hard.

 

I dine out quite often at various places and sometimes I have plesant experiences and other times not so much. I just think parents need to remember there are others around and they aren't at home. Respect other peoples shopping and dining experiences as you want to be respected.

[tinkerbellkj]

These threads are always kind of interesting to me, because ... I don't know, where do all of you who constantly run into bratty children who are throwing tantrums in stores hang out/live? I just honestly feel like I very rarely see children in public misbehaving at all in any major way, let alone ruining my zen.

 

I was thinking the same thing! I work with mental health children and even THEY rarely act the way that you are all describing. God, I was in downtown Disney last weekend and didn't even see any kids like that. I guess I am lucky. I see far, FAR more rude adults than children.

[petite]

Of course not all children or parents are the same. In fact if I see a parent try and calm their child down or tell them to not run in front of someones' trolley I have much respect than those that wander off looking at the dairy section whilst the child is screaming from the cereal isle telling mommy he must have cheerios.

[OptomisticGirl]

It's pretty often down here, I don't go a month without at least one child acting up. But for me, it's not how the children act - although the whole Coke throwing thing mortified me - it's how the parents respond. I love kids and want to be a mom more than anything, but I also know when I do have that child, the rest of the world didn't agree to have that child with me. I'm a parent but I also have a service to my fellow human beings to make sure my child, in a no child setting, doesn't disrupt them. Because they didn't okay me having a kid, I did. What gets to me is the total disrespect some parents have in thinking their kid can do no wrong. Like the noodle foam kid. I ended up having to rudely tell the mom if she didn't get her kid from hitting me with that noodle, I would remove the noodle from him myself.

[Seraphim]

I agree, I don't see it with anywhere near the frequency these people are seeing it, not even close. I do however see jerk adults maybe every 3 rd time I leave my house. I am actually going to do an experiment for about 3 months. Every time I leave my house to go any place I will record if I saw a kid throwing a fit or an adult throwing a fit. I will do it for here and in my home city and see what the findings are. Seriously I think people exaggerating the number of times this happens. Unless you are working in a store and see thousands of kids a day.

[OptomisticGirl]

Of course not all children or parents are the same. In fact if I see a parent try and calm their child down or tell them to not run in front of someones' trolley I have much respect than those that wander off looking at the dairy section whilst the child is screaming from the cereal isle telling mommy he must have cheerios.

 

I agree. I always give parents like that a little smile because you can just see on their face how mortified they are. Others, could care less. I look at it like this. Disney is a kid place - obviously - and I, as an adult, would never go there and be like 'omg, why are all these kids screaming???' ...because it's a kid place. They are suppose to. kids while they have to be at the store wit mom, it is not a 'kid zine' and therefore parents need to teach their kids how to act in a no kid zone they are in.

[Seraphim]

I was thinking the same thing! I work with mental health children and even THEY rarely act the way that you are all describing. God, I was in downtown Disney last weekend and didn't even see any kids like that. I guess I am lucky. I see far, FAR more rude adults than children.

 

Me too. I see them on a level of 10 times more than I see rude kids.

[Blue Spiral]

I'm the opposite...I hardly ever encounter rude adults. I've seen some that should be more self-aware (especially when driving), but never anything coming close to the sort of disturbance a child can cause. I've had a ton of adults (of both genders) hold doors open for me, and the other day, a tattoo-covered, punk-rock-looking woman in her forties called me "sir" when asking me about the type of cell phone I have.

 

As with adults, it's a few bad apples making the rest look bad...but it only takes one to screech nonstop and ruin whatever you were trying to do.

[OptomisticGirl]

^ This is me. I get to odd adult who makes me want to slap them but it's more the kids I see acting out.

[sharsachan]

i am a mom and i love my kids.

 

i do wish there were some resturants in my town that didnt allow kids...because if i go out to dinner and leave my kids with a sitter...i really dont want to listen to someone else's 3 yr old scream [my son says he is whistling like his trains] or some 2 yr old shout "no" because thats what phase she's in. If i wanted that, I'd just go to dinner with my own kids, at least i like them.

[OptomisticGirl]

i am a mom and i love my kids.

 

i do wish there were some resturants in my town that didnt allow kids...because if i go out to dinner and leave my kids with a sitter...i really dont want to listen to someone else's 3 yr old scream [my son says he is whistling like his trains] or some 2 yr old shout "no" because thats what phase she's in. If i wanted that, I'd just go to dinner with my own kids, at least i like them.

 

 

lol, this is priceless. I absolutely just repped you for this one Sharsachan.

[Oneironaut]

Well, here's my most recent "bratty kid" story, lol...

 

I was visiting a friend at a condominium complex about a month ago. There were two small children, perhaps around age 5 or 6, out playing in the hall. They began screaming loudly, not in pain or fear or anything, but just screaming the way undisciplined kids tend to do. I could see the parents nearby, and I honestly expected them to tell these kids to be quiet, because their screams were echoing throughout the halls and could honestly be heard throughout the entire complex.

 

Imagine my surprise (NOT) when these parents simply stood there, chatting with each other and at one point, on their cell phones, while their kids were quite running around and literally screaming at the top of their lungs!

 

It got so bad that -I- almost went outside and told the kids to be quiet, but of course, I didn't...doing that nowadays will earn you a lawsuit. But it rather stunned me to see the parents just standing there doing absolutely nothing about the deafening noise. When I was a kid, i was taught to be very respectful of other people's peace and quiet, something I still do to this day, and one reason why my landlord has told me I'm one of the best tenants he's ever had. 8)

[rocio]

In my experience, the kids who yell uncontrollably in public tend to have screamers for parents as well. My neighbor accross the back alley is a screamer. She literally screams everything and is such a miserable scary person. You'll also see those same parents in the change room at the pool -or wherever they feel a bit private - screaming at their kids "stop screaming!!!". You just have to shake your head.

 

But of course the parents won't do anything. It's their normal. They taught it to their kids.

[Fudgie]

rocio, this is true. Children do pick up communication habits from their parents and screamers (with the exception of some toddlers going through the Terrible 2's because I'm sorry but it seems everyone yells during that phase) tend to come from screamer parents. And then THEY have kids and pass it on.