mamabear82

Actually i have come to terms with it thank you. I didn't make this post today fyi.

Agreed

He was very happy with our time together and kept saying how much he missed me and couldn't wait to see me again. He continued to compliment me and say how much he enjoyed being around me. That never stopped even after meeting.

Hi! I met a really awesome man about a month ago. We hit it off immediately. He has many qualities I like and we finally met and spent time together this past weekend. I drove a good distance to see him. I had family I hadn’t seen in the area so I didn’t mind and I needed a road trip. It was a wonderful weekend. I did notice though on our date, he kept looking at his phone at what seemed to be his bank account. He passively mentioned he pays close attention to his “budget” and hearing that made me feel like I had to watch what I was getting to eat from the menu the two times he took me out. He did not offer to pay for my gas since I drove all the way in his direction. I also make candied pecans and he mentioned how much he loved them. I decided to bring him some, and he thanked me but said “how bad he felt” because he didn’t get me anything. When we went to cracker barrel for breakfast, in the shop he found something for his mom for “all she has done for him” and still didn’t get me even something as much as a $1 when i hinted at things in the store i liked. Come to find out, he just moved back in with his parents after a relationship supposedly ended last month. I didn’t find out until I met up with him that even after they broke up, he was still living with her. He just moved in with his parents a little over a month ago. He also mentions because of child support, alot of his money goes to that. I understand how that is being a mother myself. I also have rent and bills to pay. He doesn’t seem to be very motivated to get on his feet more and focuses on his truck it seems. He also says he is a “content” man which translates to me as a man in his position he doesn’t plan on doing better anytime soon financially. He is working on improving mentally and emotionally which is great but financially I am not convinced he wants more at this point. Also, his past girlfriend (according to him) left him because the “spark” was gone, he was on his game too much and she was providing the home (not sure if he paid bills or not). When I asked him about coming this way to see me, he says he could try but doesn’t have the funds to do much. I then tell him that with the money I spent to go see him on hotel and gas I had to watch my budget right now. Radio silence. I gave it a day and told him how I felt and that as much as I like him it’s not fair it all falls on me, that at minimum we should both be taking turns to see each other and maybe right now with his financial situation he should focus on that and wait to date. I have heard nothing but radio silence after him telling me how amazing I am, how he cannot wait to see me, spend time with me, how much he misses me, how amazing I am etc. Even his best friend gets on the phone to talk to me to introduce himself and says that i am a gem and he needs to treat me like gold. We connected so well…even us telling our friends and family. It was so promising. But now I feel invisible, non existent and there has been a shift since we saw each other and I told him I saw it and don’t understand what I did. Advice and thoughts are welcome. Thank you.

Thank you everyone for the wise words and advice. I am taking the advice given here and already applying it...she contacted me today over something very trivial and I was respectful but just kept it moving. Take care everyone.

I have had a long term friendship of many years. We have had many ups and downs and she has been a handful to say the least. I have put up with alot from her and always struggled to stand up for myself with her because any time I did, she would make me feel like I was being too emotional, sensitive or was wrong in one way or another. When she lived further away I could keep my distance and chose to only be around her in small doses. She made me feel less than on more than several occasions and I was often compared to her other friends, vocally or passive aggressively. She went through a divorce and decided to move all the way back to my town. I wasn't crazy about the idea because she has this way of just taking over things and I could atleast have a reason to not ve around her so much with distance as the excuse. But, she came along apologizing for her poor behavior in the past. I wanted to forgive her and move forward and start anew. We have kids the same age and alot of history...not all bad...and I really love her and was looking forward to a fresh start. But as soon as I became vulnerable with her...literally sitting in her living room with tears in my eyes about wanting to rebuild our friendship...she was too busy on her phone with her newest boytoy and I felt totally dismissed. She acted this way at my daughter's birthday party (was on her phone the whole time and couldn't be interrupted to play with my daughter when she asked her or to take a picture with her without getting huffy). She was acting the same ways she did before her apology and reminded me of why I kept my distance. The last incident was last week for her birthday. We made plans a couple of weeks in advance to spend time together. My daughter and I planned a cake, flowers and quality time. Even confirmed it with her the week and day of. That day of her birthday she tells me she could only see us for a short time between work, going to the store after and then having "last minute" change in plans. We would have had maybe 20-30 minutes with her. I was so upset i just wished ger a good evening. She tried to plan another time and I told her that her suggested times didn't work for me. She never responded again and I have not reached back out. In the past for birthdays she would be upset if certain things weren't done for her and I swear the gifts I got her got stored in a closet somewhere. I shouldn't be surprised...I just wanted to do something kind for her. I really allowed her to blame me for things over the years and also blamed myself. Part of me doesn't want to continue this friendship anymore. But another part of me really cares and my daughter adores her daughter and it would shatter her heart if they couldn't see each other anymore. And I also hate she is literally 10 minutes down the road yet feels so far away and I honestly wish she wouldn't have moved here. The thought of her actions hurts alot is why and I really resent her. Thoughts?