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Everything posted by Oneironaut

  1. I wouldn't presume to speak for the OP, but I'm guessing that the breakup had more to do with: The "wrong birthday present" is not even remotely the issue here. The guy is making little to no effort to do anything special for her, he shows her no affection outside of the bedroom, he pulls away when she does try, she has a gut feeling that he's only after sex which he doesn't deny, and the only time he is available to see her, despite working 15 minutes away, is when he wants sex. The real question here is, WHY did the OP take so long to dump this loser user?
  2. Ah, well, if the OP meant him opening the door -as they approach the car-, that's a different story. Heck, if I have the keys, and we're approaching the car, I'll go up and unlock the door for him first, it's just a common courtesy. I thought she meant sitting in the car waiting for him to get out, walk around the car, and open her door. I stand by my statement that a woman who does that has a princess mentality, but if that's not what the OP meant, then I apologize for misunderstanding.
  3. A man can be raised well and still not open a car door for a woman. In my opinion, any woman who sits there in the car and -waits- has a sense of entitlement, as if she's a princess that deserves royal treatment. To each their own, I guess. *Shrug*
  4. I'm with greywolf on this one...I've never understood the need some women have to actually -want- men to open a car door for them. I'd feel silly and a it pretentious, just sitting there waiting, when I'm more than capable of opening it myself.
  5. This is not stupid, this is about treating you with -respect-. It's very obvious that he has insecurity issues, but that's his situation to deal with...first and foremost, he needs to understand that the things he is saying are so completely disrespectful that most of us here are just mind-boggled. When a man respects a woman, he doesn't tell her how hot other women are, how much they want him, and how if he wasn't with her he'd be with them...I can't even IMAGINE my father treating my mother that way. He doesn't, because he respects her and their relationship. And you deserve nothing less than being treated with respect, also. Yes, if he thought you were "out of his league", it's obvious he's trying to elevate himself in his own mind and to you, but that's not what is happening...he's making himself look petty, immature, and insecure as all get-out. He needs to understand that you care deeply for him without being reminded of how utterly desirable he is to other women. Please let us know how it goes, because from the sounds of it, it won't be long before he makes another comment like that. Good luck.
  6. OK, here are the comments of his that you have posted so far: Honestly...do you not see his rather blatant need for YOU to know how much other women want him, and his insecure attempts to make you feel like he's doing you a favor by being with you, instead of them? Frankly, this would repulse me. What is the point, you know? Why is it SO important to him for you to know how much other women want him? I dunno...this would raise a HUGE red flag, in my book. All the compliments in the world wouldn't matter after that garbage. Again...I suggest you sit down and talk with him about it. Unless you're OK with it...and the fact that you're posting here is a pretty strong indicator that you're not. What is stopping you from telling him to knock it off?
  7. Ugh...I used to be with a guy who did this to me constantly. I'm medium-boned and have always been curvy, since I hit adult-hood, and this guy was ALWAYS pointing to scrawny, sleazily-dressed women and saying, "Damn, she's hot, why can't you look like that?" Needless to say, I dumped him eventually. Regardless of why he's doing it, please consider the fact that over time, this -will- wear down your self-esteem, and make you feel not only insecure, but suspicious of what he is up to when you're not around. I would have a serious talk with him and explain how uncomfortable this is making you. If he continues to do it, it honestly may be time for drastic measures.
  8. Because by the time they break up, they've been breaking up in their heads for some time...for them, the process is coming to an end, and for the Dumpee, it's just beginning. So to the Dumpee, it appears that they are just walking away, when in reality, they've been walking away in their minds for a while. I couldn't possibly agree with this more. As I just posted on another thread, when my ex came back and asked me to try again, we spent the day talking and hashing out everything that had gone wrong between us before...asking every question we could think of...and at the end of it all, we agreed to let go of the past, and start fresh, and work together as a team this time to get through the rough spots. And that is exactly what we are doing. It's been 5 weeks now since we reconciled, after 6.5 months apart, and we've hit a few bumps, but we always get through them with communication and understanding. It's not JUST about "getting them back"...it's also about repairing the damage that made things fall apart before.
  9. The only time I've never heard again from an ex was when I was 18 years old. We had been living together for a few months, and I found out he was cheating with my "best" friend. He moved out, and I never heard a word from him again. When I found out years later that he'd gone on to marry her sister and ended up an alcoholic on drugs, I was quite glad for this.
  10. What do -you- think you should do? I know that's a trite answer, but, consider this: So many people here have been contacted by their ex for a lame reason, and it set them back terribly in their progress...do you think she's really trying to contact you for a reconciliation, or something else? It all depends on what you think...
  11. Argh...I'm on Day 1 of NC, and the urge to write him is overwhelming. The stupid part is, I've been doing NIC remarkably well for weeks now...the first day I decide to go total NC, I find myself wanting to contact him. Can't I even make it through one lousy, effing day?? Am I so damn weak-willed that I can't even go ONE DAY without trying to reach out to a guy who has broken up with me multiple times, the latest one being almost 8 weeks ago? I have to remember, writing him will make ME look bad. But, I have a feeling I'm going to cave before the day is out. This royally sucks.
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