Fudgie Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I never agreed to meet someone before talking by phone - for safety reasons as well as to see how we communicated on the phone -there were several men I exchanged emails where we got along great and the phone call was a whole different story. I never considered those first meets dates or thought that I was being asked for a date. I always followed this rule as well. Phone calls and voices tell you a LOT. And I mean a lot. If a guy wants to meet you in person, no reason why he can't talk to you first on the phone. Link to comment
WithLove Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 On principle I agree with this - but weirdly, I went out with my current boyfriend without waiting to chat on the phone. (But, I did carry that evening, just in case.) Generally, I preferred to get to know the guy through messaging for a week or two before talking on the phone/meeting. Link to comment
Dummy Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Which brings me back to my point... Being the guy, each woman is different. Some want phone calls, some get scared by them and would rather meet in person. I'm sure I've creeped some woman out by wanting to meet too soon. I'm pretty much game for everything.... I'll meet right away, I'll talk on the phone, I'll message for a month etc. For me, I just have to figure out based on our conversations when to ask them out or get their phone number. There's no hard fast rule.... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Which brings me back to my point... Being the guy, each woman is different. Some want phone calls, some get scared by them and would rather meet in person. I'm sure I've creeped some woman out by wanting to meet too soon. I'm pretty much game for everything.... I'll meet right away, I'll talk on the phone, I'll message for a month etc. For me, I just have to figure out based on our conversations when to ask them out or get their phone number. There's no hard fast rule.... I knew what I wanted. A person who wanted to meet ASAP after the first email and phone call and regarded the on line site as I did -as simply a way to make that first contact and then proceed as if we met in person at first or through friends (albeit with extra safety measures). If he did not want that then I knew we were not on the same page as far as dating and relationship goals. And on a practical level I had no time for dating site chat buddies. If it bothered the guy that I wanted to talk by phone ASAP and then meet ASAP that was fine -good way to screen out. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 Even though i clicked "like" on the match, i was kind of lukewarm about him. I should just tell him that i need to chat a little more first. his profile says he is 5'7", but most guys lie about their height by 2 inches. so, i'm thinking 5'5" and so I probably won't be interested. Link to comment
Dummy Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Aww, give the little guy a chance! Haha. I'm only 5'5" so I get the height requirement thing. Although I've gone out with a 6 footer and all my previous gf's were all taller than me, by quite a bit. Have you dated anyone much shorter than you before annie? Link to comment
Fudgie Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I am curious, why do women not like short men? I've dated tall men, short men. I'm a tall lady, 5'7'', and as long as the guy is 5'7'' or taller, I don't care. Link to comment
BigKK Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Even though i clicked "like" on the match, i was kind of lukewarm about him. I should just tell him that i need to chat a little more first. his profile says he is 5'7", but most guys lie about their height by 2 inches. so, i'm thinking 5'5" and so I probably won't be interested. I think it's a preference thing and sometimes you just can't get over it. I think less guys have preferences than girls. I met a couple over the weekend, they were sitting close to me during a show and we chatted afterwards. From behind I thought it was a little kid, and then when we were standing face to face I realized he was my age...probably 5'4 maybe 5'3 and my girlfriend said how cute the two of them were and how she'd never be able to be with someone that she's taller then. I mean they were very cute together but I get it, it's nice when the person you're dating is somewhat close to your size. I think a lot of guys get hung up on it though, that THAT is the reason they have issues...or that it's a number of other things. My close friend always wouldn't bother talking to women because he "didn't have enough muscle," it's so self-defeating I found it annoying. I'd always ask him how he already knew they wanted some big bulky guy, it's such a stereotype it gets annoying. haha by 2 inches! I suppose your statement is qualifying by the word most but I never lied about my height online before. Although my GF continually thinks I'm taller than I am. Fudgie, in my experience I was told it's for one a protector thing. It seems as though the taller guy can protect you better (obviously not true) The other one that I've heard a lot is girls simply don't want to be the taller one and perceived as the dominate one...that and if he's the same height as you...you can't wear heels out. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I preferred men who were average height or shorter than average to those men who were very tall (especially to very tall and skinny). Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I preferred men who were average height or shorter than average to those men who were very tall (especially to very tall and skinny). I have always dated guys who were much taller than I, but I'm OK dating someone who is not conventionally "tall." I too prefer more average height (under 6') to really tall AND skinny. I'd actually rather date a guy with a little more meat on his bones (though not obese) than a really, really thin guy. I am currently dating someone who, while he is taller than I am, is definitely under 6'. I'm not sure, but I'd estimate 5'8" or 5'9. (I am 5' 4") Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 How tall are you annie, if you don't mind me asking? Link to comment
WithLove Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 All the men I've been with are taller than me, because it's difficult not to be. I'm 5'2. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I think it's sad that, as a culture in general, we've made height such an inherent part of attractiveness for men. I honestly think a big part of women "not being attracted" to short men is because we're told over and over that it's not attractive. My boyfriend is shorter than me (and I am 5'5), and it felt weird at first, but now it's just not something I think about. However, I've had my feelings hurt quite a few times over comments from friends and family denigrating him for being short and considering him basically an inferior (no pun intented specimen for being short. Oddly enough, no one where we live here has ever commented on the fact that I'm taller than him. I don't think anyone should date anyone they're not attracted to, but I sometimes I feel like men's height is more of an image (how we look to others) issue than an attraction issue. And I think it's a shame that heigh should be considered an inherent part of "manliness". Not talking about this guy online for you Annie, just in general. Though I think even if you are ambivalent, it's best to meet quickly for a coffee and either be pleasantly surprised or move on, or to just end contact now. I don't think chatting longer is going to make you more enthusiastic. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 ^ I feel that way too, Sophie. I'm not tall myself, but some of my favorite people of all time have been shorter than average men. Favorite. Most loved. Of. All. Time. So it does sort of hurt my heart a little bit when I see that message being sent to men, that somehow more height makes a man superior in some way. I guess I just have a hard time even seeing it that way. Not talking about annie nor her situation either, more this generalized obsession almost with men and their height. It's definitely gender specific. Link to comment
Dummy Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I am curious, why do women not like short men? I've dated tall men, short men. I'm a tall lady, 5'7'', and as long as the guy is 5'7'' or taller, I don't care. 5'7" is fairly short for a guy, but I'm 5'5" . It must vary from region to region cuz I've never had an issue with my height until I joined a few forums. I'm either super sexy or it in fact does vary from region to region. No doubt which one I'm betting on. I think bottom line is... Personality. For all you tall woman out there... Give the short kickass dude a try! Link to comment
petite Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I think you shouldn't be made to feel guilty for not wanting to date someone shorter or whose height you simply might not be comfortable with. I do think when it comes to men, yes, they are judged more based on height than women, but at the same time women are judged more based on weight and of not given a second chance. It's just a preference, go with what you are comfortable with. I know for me as a shorter female I prefer taller men, but at the same time I think I'd feel super awkward with someone that's 6'5" he he. 5'9"- 6'1" has always been my personal ideal, and I'm 5'1". I just prefer taller men. I've dated shorter guys like maybe 5'7"-5'8" ish (shorter than what i usually went for, not that I think that's super short or anything) and yea even though I was still shorter once you wear those heels it feels different. I just prefer my men to be bigger than me in all aspects (weight and height). There's nothing wrong with that. Go with what you like. Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Im 5,11 (1m80)and would feel very awkward with a taller woman. Ive dated once one who was 5.9 and was my height with heels. Felt weird except maybe for kissing. Link to comment
Dummy Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 K, I'm obviously in the minority here. But for the guys out there, try dating someone taller than you. Something about the sex. And for the smaller women.. Try dating someone your height. I once had a woman say she's gonna only date guys my height after having sex with me. She only dated taller men before me. I guess, I'm saying that height means nothing especially when someone's personality is much more important. Anyway, to each their own. Sorry to go off topic annie. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 I know. Personality really is the most important thing.... but I'm just not attracted to men my height or shorter (I'm 5'7", maybe 5'8"). My ideal is 6'3". However, 5'10" and above is fine. I just never have really had sexual chemistry towards a guy who is not even a touch taller than me. This guy has a cute face.... but now i'm wondering if he's really shorter than 5'7"? I guess an in face meeting would clear that up... gah. i dunno. He also lives about 45 minutes away. And yes, like petite said, I think that men judge based on weight/frame all the time. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 In other news, my gym is having a promotion - starting in 2 weeks, you can sign up for a 6-week program and they guarantee you will lose 2 sizes. (What does that mean though? size 14->12, or size 14->10?) in any case, it's a good deal for the price, and it includes a lot of classes, including 10 personal training sessions (which are cheaper than if I bought them separately). So I'm going to start on that. I need a jump start. Particularly after being sick for all of February and most of March. I was at the gym this weekend, doing the elliptical on level 1, and I felt so out of shape. And then tonight in yoga class, I couldn't get into this position that I always used to. Not fun. Trying to get back on track... Link to comment
Dummy Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Oh annie. You gotta dip into the short side Haha. Your height is my ideal height. Go figure. I'm chatting up a 6 footer right now so we'll see how that goes, but, my point is this and it relates to weight/frame.... Which is, I grew up thinking a girl who was shorter than me and skinnier than me was ideal, but eff that! You don't have to be a skinny minny to be sexy. I hate talking about weight with women but, my point is.... Some junk in the trunk is sexy as f*ck! A sexy mind will make the body twice as sexy. In other words... A great personality is sexy. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 Ok.... I just gave him my number and told him I am free on saturday. I can have a drink and see what happens. if it's awful, I can leave. I can fake a kidney infection or something, lol. Link to comment
justagirl2 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Height is an American thing. In Latin America, where I'm from, girls could care LESS if their men is around 5'6-6'1. I grew up in Latin America and was ALWAYS attracted to guys around 5'8. I'm 5'2 and it just felt natural to be with guys who were a little shorter. Once I moved to the US 3 years ago I started to notice a CRAZY obsession with height. Everyone cares so much about it. I've been dating my American boyfriend for 9 months and he's about 5'9. HE once told me his dream is/was to be president of the USA and he just got discouraged because he researched and no American president was under 6'0. Lol. He really said with a serious tone. I felt bad for him. Then I started noticing he was shorter than A LOT of American men and even posted in ENA about it. SO stupid. I'm so attracted to him and he's so handsome. Anyways, long story short, we were in my hometown (Latin America) about 2 weeks ago and he was taller than almost every guy there. Ha. It was so funny. My friends were like, what, you said he was short? In sum, the US people seem to care a lot about height, while in other countries masculinity is really not connected to height. Latin men are EXTREMELY handsome and confident and they are usually under 6'0. A picture of my boyfriend and I for reference. I'm at a wedding wearing 5 inch heels. Link to comment
testcase Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I mean it's just preference nothing wrong with that! I'm about 6ft and I usually date girls 5'4 or shorter. I actually would say I think tall girls have as much trouble as short guys! I've noticed recently in online dating most of the matches I get are at least 5'7. There's almost no short girls on there. I honestly believe a 5'9 girl, no matter how pretty she is, would have more trouble dating than a 5'2 girl. Link to comment
justagirl2 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Oh yeah, being 5'2 has NEVER been a problem as a girl. Guys love small girls. I actually like being short. Link to comment
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